The internet is always overflowing with gargantuanly helpful advice. It’s literally exploding with it. You can basically get a “How To” post on everything — from how to fold the perfect origami Nazgul TO how start a book blog TO how to build a palace out of chocolate and live in it for 84 years. *
And, of course, there’s copious amounts of writing advice. Which is simultaneously helpful (particularly if you have NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOING AT ALL) and also a little daunting (THERE’S SO MUCH WHAT DO YOU BELIEVED).
So, helpfully, I’ve complied aaaaall the advice you’ll commonly hear on How To Write an Excellent YA Novel. I see people reiterating this advice all. the. time. So it’s full of win. Trust me now.
Follow this exactly and you will be famous.
* Actually I saw this in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But I suspect there’s a tutorial somewhere though right? INTERNET. DON’T LET ME DOWN HERE.
- Always write the story on your heart — it will definitely be successful then.
- But, if you intend to be traditionally published, make sure it fits with what’s currently selling. Publishers look for specific things, dude.
- Speaking of which, write when the inspiration burns brightest. INSPIRED THINGS ARE THE MOST GLORIOUS!
- But don’t wait for inspiration to strike or you’ll never ever get around to writing. Go after it with an axe, or hammer, or hedgehog. Oh I don’t know. Jack London said something intelligent about it once.
- Just get it written NOW.
- Or when you’re inspired.
- And write everyday while you’re at it, because that develops good habits.
- Even though you honestly don’t even need to write everyday because brains need breaks to refill their creative juices.
- Speaking of juices and drinking…
- WRITE DRUNK; EDIT SOBER….as the famous authors say.
- Wait, don’t do that at all. Seriously. It’s not the 1930s. EAT A SANDWICH INSTEAD OR SOMETHING. Stay healthy.
- Make sure you add diverse characters into your story because diversity needs to be represented. Every person deserves to see themselves represented in a book.
- Support the minorities!
- Celebrate diversity!
- But whatever you do, don’t write something you know nothing about. Because you WILL misrepresent it and that’s the GREATEST WRITING SIN in the history of Jupiter and Mars.
- You can research, of course, research everything. Talk to people who’ve lived it. Walk in their shoes.
- But, dude, if you haven’t lived it…hmmm. Maybe don’t write it?
- In fact, if you’re white/straight/middle-class, we’re probably sick of hearing your stories because they all sound the same.
- Please don’t put characters or authors in boxes.
- Just some authors, you can totally box some authors.
- This makes complete sense, don’t look at me like that.
- Don’t make your character sound like you!! It makes taking criticism so hard. Plus your characters will all sound boring after a while because THEY ARE ALL YOU.
- But write what you know.
- Please, for the love of french fish, DEVELOP YOUR CHARACTERS. They must move forward! They must grow!
- But if you change them too much, then your readers will hate it.
- Possibly burn you at the stake.
- Don’t let that happen, I hear it’s an unpleasant experience, especially in the warmer months.
- Also definitely make sure your romantic couple gets together. SAIL THAT SHIP, FOLKS. Readers get really invested and it’s disappointing when all the angst is for naught.
- As long as you add in a good dose of tragedy. Life is not perfect!
- For example: break up your romantic couple! That’s super realistic.
- Don’t kill them though.
- In fact, don’t kill any characters. Because it makes the book pointless.
- But also LET YOUR MAIN CHARACTERS GET HURT! Or else it’s super unrealistic and annoying to coddle them through danger.
- You’d best kill off some adorable darlings to show how war doesn’t play favourites.
- Unless the character is diverse. Don’t kill them. Diversity equals immortality.
- But war doesn’t play favourites.
- So kill everyone.
- KILL THE WHOLE DANG CAST OF CHARACTERS. BURN IT ALL WITH FIRE. THE END.
- But character development. So at least make sure they’re well-developed ghosts.
Please put dragons everywhere.- This is universally unanimous advice.
- Believe me.
- I’m always 100% truthful.
- It’s definitely a good idea to make sure you attempt standalones. Publishers are more likely to take a risk on a debut author with a standalone.
- But having a sequel up your sleeve is still a good idea.
- Do you have a big sleeve? Because sneak a trilogy up there too.
- Quartet? DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH. WE DON’T DO QUARTETS.
- But you might need a novella…do you have a novella idea?
- Nobody likes novellas but you’ll probably need 1 or 25 of them.
- Also don’t write a ton of books in one world. Nobody wants to read that. Noooobody.
- Unless you’re a contemporary author??? Then it’s totally okay.
- Just don’t write more books because you want money. HAHAHA NO. THAT IS SILLY. WHY WOULD YOU NEED MONEY TO LIVE AND EAT AND EXIST?
- Writers must be poor and starving. It cannot be your career, obviously. Or you’re a fake. Please give away your time and effort and talents and work for a pittance.
- Nobody understands what it’s like to be an author, so don’t stress over it. Ignore the haters. DO YOUR THANG.
- Except that really being a writer is like any other creative pursuit. You really honestly shouldn’t have to be treated differently or discriminated. No one gets to say “being a writer isn’t a real job”. No one says “being a music teacher isn’t a real job”. THEY ARE. And like other real creative jobs, you need to treat it like one.
- But in your pyjamas.
- And please interact with your fans. FANDOMS LOVE THAT!!
- Just don’t get too involved because fandoms hate that. Once the story is out there, it belongs to them, not you.
- Basically leave the fans alone.
- Seriously, they can be terrifying, eeesh. Especially if you write something wrong.
- I MEAN WHO EVEN ARE YOU TO WRITE THIS WRONGLY??? YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW.
- Never read your reviews.
- But read your reviews so you can learn from them and grow as a writer.
- Basically feedback is CRUCIAL. Get all the feedback you can!
- Feedback is always going to clash, however, because everyone has different opinions. Between 2 and 5 people is a good amount to take feedback from.
- If you take feedback from everyone you’ll go nuts. Deranged. UTTERLY BONKERS. You will probably throw yourself off a tall cliff into a vat of chocolate sauce and remain there forever. Which will be delicious, at least. Small mercies.
- Just at least make sure you’re blogging. You need to establish yourself, grow your audience.
- But focus 100% on your writing because that’s important.
- ONE HUNDRED PERCENT, I SAY. You have no time for hobbies.
- And consume lots of media and books and inspiration from aaaall the places so you’ll write better. Stuff yourself with inspiration.
- But not too much.
- Or you’ll copy. And that’s evil.
- WHERE’S THAT VAT OF CHOCOLATE AGAIN, BECAUSE YOU NEED TO DROWN IN IT.
Just in case you didn’t pick it up, this post is decidedly full of…
Being a writer IS hard and it’s especially hard when there’s SO MUCH ADVICE OUT THERE AND IT ALL CONTRADICTS ITSELF. Let’s sob together shall we?
But you know why I wrote this post?!?! Apart from the glorious chance to use a Castiel gif who is, of course, wonderful — I really really want to underline this super important fact that sometimes we, as writers, forget in the effort to “get it all right” …
there is no “one” single way to write!!
NOT FOR ANY ASPECT! HUZZAH!! Isn’t that a relief?!? If someone tells you that you have to do this-certain-thing, then I suggest stuffing their face with cake so they can’t talk and trotting off to go explore things on your own. There are always different ways. Not all advice is right for YOU. Not all advice is even right.
(Unless it’s my advice, duh. My advice is perfect.)
So, writerly pineapples, please — PLEASE — remember this super important thing…there’s more than one way to write a book and you’re not doing it wrong. Read read read books and learn aaaall the advice you can, and then break the rules if you need to and follow your gut and your dreams. Apparently your dreams reside in your stomach. Which makes sense, honestly. SO LISTEN TO YOUR STOMACH.
WRITE WILDLY AND WONDERFULLY AND BE YOURSELF.
YES THIS POST. It was really funny. The internet is a beast filled with hypocrisy. Diversity hypocrisy is really hard, and it can be hard for authors who want to write hypocrisy. Chocolate would probably improve my writing tbh. I think for girl characters: They should be badass but it has to be a feminist story as well and they shouldn’t have to be a guy to be awesome etc.
The internet IS a beast. A good beast, but still. 😂 Omg, but I’m glad you thought it was funny. hehe.
CHOCOLATE IMPROVES EVERYTHING. And if it doesn’t improve it, then cheese will, probably. Cheese or chocolate = life’s problem solvers. Ahem.
and YES to the “what defines a strong female character”. Ugh. It’s so confusing these days. eVERYONE IS HARD TO PLEASE. *buries self in hole of chocolate*
Haha, this post is awesome! It really does go to show how much writing advice contradicts other writing advice. I think sometimes writers just go online looking for someone to tell them how to write because they’re struggling and just want someone to tell them exactly what to do (I’ve definitely been there), but as you say, there is no one way to write, and so everyone does it differently. I think it’s all about just finding what works for you!
Great post! 🙂
Eeep, I’m glad you liked it! 😂 And omg I totally agree with the “please someone just tell me how to do this”…I’ve felt that way before! I think the more you write, the more comfortable you get with the HOWS and WHYS about storytelling *nods* But it’s all about finding what works for you I think. :’)
Yeeesss I agree with how many contradictions there are for writing advice! I mean, really, especially the write what you know one. Ugh. I mean, it should be rephrased to something like: “Write experiences that you have experienced, but also write what you haven’t as long as you’ve researched it and incorporate appropriate emotions.”
I get SO ANNOYED when people ask me what I want to be when I’m older, and when I say ‘a writer’ their smiles turn fake. I can tell they don’t think it’s a real career (even though it is probably more challenging an rewarding than an office job). I mean if you tell people you want to be a doctor they’ll be all impressed because of the many years in med school, but then when you spend time working on your craft and don’t get immediately published they think you’re getting nowhere. Um, what? All creative jobs are just as important as the ‘traditional’ jobs.
I LOVE the quote at the end. I tell myself a lot: ‘Write big, dream bigger.”
Fabulous post, as usual, Cait! 😀
I MUSTLY like your rephrasing of the “write what you know” and honestly that SHOULD be the definition. *hires you to redefine the phrase across the universe*
Omg I TOTALLY agree. Creativity has always been seen as lesser…which is totally unfair, because it can be just as draining and taxing to do as medical school. But it’s a completely different part of your brain that’s working, right?! And plus culture and history wouldn’t even EXIST without art. Art defines humans. RIGHTS FOR ART, HUZZAH!
I KNOW! It gets craazy. My sum of writing advice that I’ve gathered is: WRITE. Just write.
But I can’t say I’ve ever wanted to drown in chocolate. It probably doesn’t help that…I don’t actually…like….chocolate. *hides in terror* ‘Tis true. Woefully true some think, but others are just happy that they get to eat all my chocolate. 🙂
Doesn’t it just?! 😂 And going with the “just write” advice is. the. BEST. I highly agree! I think it’s good to KNOW the rules? But they seriously can’t define a writer’s process because none of them make sense. 😂
DUDE, NO CHOCOLATE?!?! *GASPS* DO YOU LIKE CAKE AT LEAST???
It would be nice if writers weren’t such a weird, motley bunch, then there might be a concise list of ‘how to’…But as it is, we’ve just got to deal with the random ‘pick-your-favourite-option’ mess.
I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. I do like cake though. Cake is good. (As long as it’s not chocolate cake) 🙂 Cake’s one of the few sweet things that I actually like, so I’m fine with it. But in my opinion, Honey Jumbles are the best. ;P
YES. Darn us for being individuals. HOW DARE WE. LIFE COULD BE MORE SIMPLE BUT NOOOOO. HUMANS HAVE TO GO AND BE TRICKY.
I’m glad you like cake. MY FAITH IN YOU IS RESTORED. 😂
Great post! The “only write what you’ve experienced” one gets me too – how many authors are Medieval nobles or dragon riders, hmm? I understand it in relation to diversity, though. Mostly.
Your dragon advice is useful, I must say. I haven’t written about dragons. Yet. I’ll get to it some day, when I’ve written all the other billions of ideas in my head.
EXACTLY! They haven’t. And plus authors haven’t experienced BEING A DRAGON but we let them write about that. THE UNIVERSE DOTH NOT MAKE SENSE. *collapses dramatically* 😂 Definitely do write about dragons though. Even if you’re writing contemporary. Pfft, dragons can be very handy toasters.
I’m not really into contemporary – fantasy, sci-fi, and historical fiction are more my cup of perfectly-brewed Earl Grey tea. Which means dragons are not completely outside the realm of possibility. I must start thinking about them more. Dragons are great.
Wheezing helplessly with laughter at this. But it has made me realise: I don’t have enough dragons in my books. I’m going to add dragons to my WIP, and just to be on the safe side they will be ethnically diverse dragons and at least one will be gay (or two, I guess; need to be able to ship them). I look forward to becoming J K Rowling.
hUZZAH I’M GLAD IT WAS FUNNY. 😂 But dude, no dragons?! *gasps* You seriously MUST add in dragons. Particularly politically correct dragons, but please make sure you ARE a dragon before writing, just to be safe, you know? I look forward to being recognised for setting you on the path of fame.
“So, writerly pineapples”
I like this. Can this be my title from now until forever? Seriously.
Love this post Cait. And I agree: there is SO MUCH advice out there and all of it contradicts itself.
I really like Publishing Crawl though and I found the videos of Brandon Sanderson’s lectures super interesting and helpful. But I pretty much pick and choose what I like and what seems to work for me. Writerly Pineapples forever! (see? sounds really good 😉 )
YES I THINK IT SHOULD BE EVERYONE’S TITLE. If I ever change my blog name = we know what it’ll be. Ahem.
BUT EEEP. I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT. 😂 I was a little nervous about it but afjdsalkfd everyone seems to be okay with the intense levels of sarcasm. 😂 (Publishing Crawl is amazing and OMG I LOVE BRANDON SANDERSON’S LECTURES. I watched so many of them on youtube last year!!)
Haha. I might adopt the tagline if I get permission from the dragon-pineapple queen 😉
Sarcasm for the win.
Did you see the website with all the notes as well as all the lecture videos listed? http://www.writeaboutdragons.com/brandon_w2012/
I did!! I honestly must’ve watched nearly all of them that time. 😂 Although he started repeating himself a lot in the different settings (I mean, fair enough, new audience = needs the same info) so I ended up bailing. 😛 I LEARNT SO MUCH THOUGH.
This post is amazing. I just took part in a writer chat on twitter yesterday, and while we discussed a lot of things, it’s also true that everyone has a different process to approaching writing! There is no right or wrong way. YOU MISSED OUT THE ‘HAVE FUN WHILE YOU WRITE’ BUT ALSO ‘DON’T HAVE TOO MUCH FUN BECAUSE THEN YOU MIGHT LOSE FOCUS ON THE POINT OF THE STORY’ AND ALSO ‘DON’T STRESS TOO MUCH BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING YOU CHOSE TO DO’ BUT ALSO “DEADLINES AND STUFF WRITING IS STRESSFUL’. ahem.
OMG YES TO THE FUN THING. Like “if you have too much fun, the story is obviously not meaningful. And if you don’t have any fun, then you shouldn’t be writing.” < -- HALP. LIFE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. 😂
Great post, Cait! Hahaha I was like WOW WHAT SAGE ADVICE 😛 Thanks, Castiel!
AND YES, EVERYTHING CONTRADICTS ITSELF EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. How are we meant to get a book written at all! 😀 And I mean, if everyone strickly adhered to the ‘write what you know’, well then… we’d have a lot of boring stories. My novel would be all about a girl who sleeps 70% of the day, blogs and works the rest of it 😛 What a boring story!
I AM SO ABSOLUTELY FULL OF SAGE ADVICE. YOU’RE WELCOME. :’)
It’s basically impossible to write a book these days, dangit. The rule book is NOT working out. 😂
I’d so love to read your book some day… With all that advice… It’s gonna be a ride I can tell that much. Wait… You do have one on wattpad I hear… That’s definitely on my virtual tbr pile now.
And uhhh wait… Write drunk on juice? Ummm oh oh… No wait… Not anymore… Cuz now its sandwich time… (Lady eating it seems like she is from the 30s though… )
Just a thought…
You crack me up…. Cake time 🙂
BAHHAAH EXACTLY. My book will be perfect AND bestselling. Absolutely NO DOUBT. (And yes, there is one up on wattpad. 😂)
Omg it’s true that sandwich is probably from the 30s too. Dangit. 😂
“KILL THE WHOLE DANG CAST OF CHARACTERS. BURN IT ALL WITH FIRE. THE END.” YASSS I HEARTILY AGREE. KILL THEM ALL. INCLUDE GLORIOUS STABBY MURDERS AND DEATHS. Although that might be a bit difficult if you’re writing a cutesy contemporary(which I am right now, and I’m having a hard time not making an apocalypse happen so that characters can die). The best piece of advice on your list was the dragon advice, of course.
I’d like to add that eating while writing is a must. Food an inspire. Also music! Create a playlist for whatever it is your writing, and I can guarantee those songs will inspire at least one scene for your book.
Honestly “KILL THEM ALL WITH FIRE” is becoming my motto for all my books. #sorrynotsorry It’s just so much EASIER when everyone is dead. :’) Even with cutsey romances. I mean, CUTE GHOSTS. < --- Where is the downside? I do TRY very hard to give good advice. As you can see. :') Food is definitely my inspiration. It'll probably be what I dedicate my book to, tbh.
So relatable there, and funny!
I’m glad you liked it, Clare!! 😀
I had to workshop my plot outline today and it went way better than I expected. It’s hard sometimes writing, I know I have been writing my book for 2 years and well I just never have time. When I am on break from uni I just want to rest, and I start an internship this june, so I won’t even have time then, – I just never have time.
But in saying that, you advice is quite good, It’s my second year in my writing course so I am always, ALWAYS getting adivce and this is pretty well done
thanks for the post.
Awk, the time thing is VERY hard. I’m lucky that I do have time to write and I feel like I need to write a LOT while I can because my life might not always be like this?! BUT AHHH *sends you chocolate* I hope you do get a chance to write soon.
And here I was thinking you were going to do a serous post. I am a deranged pineapple.
This was glorious and so very true. I really get peeved at the diversity thing myself. I enjoy putting minority characters in my books. And, yes, I am a middle class white girl. Even when I do my best, I’m probably going to a few things wrong. Please don’t crucify me for it. Know I’m well intentioned and always learning. And write what you know? Come on. I’ve never meet any dragons in my life. But will I write about them? Obviously.
YES YOU ARE A DERANGED PINEAPPLE. I mean, I did a serious post once. Probably. Idek, probably not. THIS IS WHO I AM BOB. Ahem.
But omg I DO feel like authors get absolutely chewed out for trying to be diverse. I honestly see people saying the author “shouldn’t have written this because they are not part of the minority” but…if they don’t write diversity they get in trouble too?? AGH.
At least no one will criticise our dragon representation. *nods*
The ‘writing isn’t real work’ attitude drives me crazy, even though most people don’t put it into so many works. *crosses arms and sticks up chin* Just wait until I’m world famous, with movies based off my books and rabid fans waiting for my next work. (Hey, one can hope, right? 😉 )
But there is so much contradictory advice. Except the one to just keep writing. That one’s pure chocola…ahem, gold. But that’s the exciting thing about writing. There are so many ways to do it, and so much you can write about…
YES EXACTLY! And I find it frustrating that writing STILL isn’t considered an okay career option….I mean, heck yes it’s hard and living off it can be unlikely. But same with other kinds of art right?!? AND YET WE KEEP TRYING BECAUSE PASSION. *nods* We should be given cake and commendations.
“Pure chocolate” is the new “pure gold”, amirite?!
I hate it when people say “write what you know.” Uhm, if everybody did that, wouldn’t we just have boring books about our lives that we’re already living??? The trick is to figure out what’s exciting to you – and then RESEARCH. Research is key. I wrote my first novel about ice dancing and everybody expected me to be amazing at it. Somebody even said in a review, “There’s no way this girl isn’t an ice dancer or at least an ice skater.” Lol, nope. I’m TERRIBLE.
This advice is just so incredibly accurate – all of it, because everybody gives me different advice. XD
EXACTLY. And our books would be incredibly boring I think. 😂 Research IS key. And also, I think, just imagining yourself in someone else’s shoes.
omg that’s amazing that you wrote ice dancing so realistically! YOU QUEEN OF RESEARCH.
Thanks Cait, I needed this post. Now I have a checklist.
I did not get around to including Dragons until my ninth book. What is wrong with me!?!
Happy Reading!
~Icky. 🙂
Omg, your book SO TOTALLY NEEDS A DRAGON. Then you will be famous. #legit
OH. MY. WORD. THIS POST. <3333
BASICALLY, THE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SARCASM ARE MAKING ME ECSTATIC. SARCASM IS LIFE.
Hehe, when I started reading this post, I thought it was going to be serious, BUT THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER. It's times like these that I really love you, Cait. ^_^
Ack, but I so agree! It annoys me to no end when people say you have to experience things to write them. Like, hello?? Have I met elves??? NO. BUT THEY ARE MAKING IT INTO MY STORY IF IT KILLS ME. (Oh, and dragons. I've never met one–unless you count my stuffed one–but HECK YEAH I'M WRITING ABOUT THEM.) It's also horrendous when people say that writing isn't a "real job." Heh, well if it's not, I sure don't want a real job. 😛
I JUST CAN'T STOP USING CAPS BECAUSE I LOVE THIS TOO MUCH FOR WORDS. (Also, I have considered throwing my stories into a vat of chocolate. Chocolate improves everything so I figured it would make my stories 100000% better. But, if you have caramel, I'm sure that will make it EVEN better…)
I’M REALLY GLAD YOU LIKED IT. 😂 Just a little TEENY TINY bit of sarcasm here. AHem.
Omg but but you HAVNE’T MET AN ELF, MARY?!? Sadness. I haven’t met a dragon, but I like to think I *am* part dragon, so that covers me for that respect. But what about all those authors who write murder mysteries? I very much HOPE they haven’t committed murder for it. “I’M SORRY, JUDGE, IT WAS FOR A BOOK.” Ahem.
CAPS IS MY LANGUAGE SO <333
Best. Post. Ever.
*Stands up and begins slow clapping*
Kudos to you!
I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT. 😂 😂
I actually hadn’t noticed how much writing advice contradicts itself until now . . . Wow.
I’m probably going to get flak for this if anyone sees it, but . . . a lot of the diversity advice annoys me. Especially the bits that seem to say “If you don’t have at least five characters who are overtly part of some minority, YOU ARE LESS OF AN AUTHOR.” And, y’know, I don’t write diverse books- I write books about people. Some of those people happen to be straight, white, and middle class. (Or commoner-but-not-dirt-poor class, which is the fantasy-book equivalent.) Some of them aren’t. (The white and middle-class bits, anyway. I do not write LGBTQ characters, period, because I know I couldn’t handle it in the correct way.) Who they are depends on what the story calls for.
I really enjoyed this post; thanks for writing it!
In a recent discussion with a friend, we came to terms with a fact regarding writing and diversity. Don’t write about a mexican, a christian, or a muslim: write about a person. Someone with lifelike aspirations that isn’t defined by their beliefs, nationality, or skin color.
This realization came after editing my friend’s short story, in which he put entirely too much effort into depicting every detail of a particular religion into the development of a side character. Detail which took over three pages in a twenty-four page story…for a side character. What was his reason for this? He wanted to “make sure he didn’t get anything wrong.”
@Sarah: Tbh, I think you’re doing it right like that! WRITE ABOUT PEOPLE. The end. I get really frustrated, these days, with the amount of reviews I read where people are like “how dare the author write about [insert minority topic here] when they clearly do not belong to it”. Okay. So. Are we saying only SOME people are allowed to write? Because that’s terrible. :O SO YEAH. I think we should write about people, respectfully, and research and do our best! (I’m glad you liked the post! 😂)
YES!! This post was perfect! People have so many opinions on how to write things; it was great to have them all compiled into a single post. Plus, sarcasm. Loved it!
AHHH THANK YOU, EMMA. I’m so glad you liked it. 😂 😂
Well, crap. It looks like my books are missing dragons!!
DUDE. YOU MUST FIX THIS IMMEDIATELY SO YOUR BOOK IS INSTANTLY A bESTSELLER. (And then I obviously get a cut of the profits because I inspired you. :’) #legit)
It’s so true about how conflicting writing advice can be. You honestly hit the nail on the head. Like it’s just so beyond painful. For me, the diversity is the most challenging, though perhaps not in the way you think. I’m a black female, and there’s this constant stream of information that says ‘you should be writing books with a black MC’ . And yes, one of the two books I’ve written is like that. But one isn’t. And I constantly feel this judgemental pressure like if I don’t write a black MC that I’m somehow ‘not being true to my race’. My current novel has an MC that is a half latino male in a wheelchair. Am I this person? No. But do I use my experiences of feeling like a stand out in certain situations, or feelings of not quite belonging etc, to write them? Yup, and for me that’s enough.
In the end, no matter the advice, take in what’s useful for you but stay true to the writer you are. You’re totally right, there’s more than one way to write a book. Not everyone wants to write about their own race or experience all the time. Do your research and write the character you want and ignore the haters.
Omg I adore this comment. <333 EXACTLY, Liselle! I totally know how you feel!! I feel guilty if I don't write Australians. I feel like I SHOULD be writing about people with my background and things and ergherughergh MAYBE I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT OTHER THINGS?!?
I think one big and very important thing people forget is that writers WRITE to experience. Like sure we can write who-we-are...but we have the opportunity to live a thousand lives?! So why wouldn't we experiment with what-would-life-be-like-if-I-was-from-this-country-instead??? We need to write what we want. Definitely ignore the haters. 😉
Exactly! And honestly, if all writers only wrote about their own lives or people exactly like them things would be so boring. And my life isn’t that exciting. I completely agree with you. I want to imagine a thousand different experiences of a thousand different people. Not be boxed into my own experiences only.
I hate the ones about editing, how many times do you edit? Once, three times, nine times?!
Omg YES! There are so so many contradictory opinions on editing. *wails*
I just have to say THIS IS AN AWESOME POST and THANK YOU SO MUCH. I am totally sharing this. On Facebook. To people. Because this post here is gold.
I JUST HAVE TO SAY THANK YOU A BILLION PERCENT, JENNY. <3333
YASSSS. This post was so perfect. I agree with EVERYTHING. The “write everyday” thing I tried to do for a while, and then I haven’t written in almost a year. Sooo yeah, talk about a burn out, haha! But now I’m back to writing and I’m loving it! And hating it. I’m a conundrum.
The other big one is the “write what you know,” because let’s be honest: real life is boring. Magic is where it’s at. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t see people wielding the elements. So, yeah, I’m not about that life, haha!
Dowsing it in chocolate, though? All over that.
I think the best writing advice I’ve seen is to just write and have fun. Mostly the have fun part because if you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, then what’s the point?
SAME! I wrote every day for 100 days as part of a challenge…and then didn’t write a THING for 6 months because I was so burnt out. 😂 I think it’s important to try things?!? But to be VERY aware that we need to follow the methods that work for us. :’)
(Loving and hating writing simultaneously is like the WRITERS LIFE though. 😂 So you’re not alone!)
Also having fun IS very good advice. Not to say a book won’t turn out if you don’t have fun, though…but it always makes the job easier if it’s fun. ;D
I LOVED THIS POST
but seriously, when I saw it I GOT SO DARN EXCITED and LITERALLY DROPPED EVERYTHING I was doing (petting my cat and coincidentally, eating a sandwich) to read it!
Anyways, I loved this because YES, so much of the advice I read is contradictory and it’s SOOOO ANNOYING (and I’m always looking at, reading or researching tips for writing?)
And, DUH. I OBVIOUSLY always want to drown my writing, or set it on fire…you know, whatever comes first.
Lovely post Cait, made me LOL (literally) and now my cat wont stop starring at me. Or my sandwich.
YOU DROPPED YOUR CAT FOR ME? <3 I'm so touched I'm basically flailing right now. Cait-before-Food is like an AMAZING show of dedication. *sniffles happily*
Setting writing on fire seems like SUCH FUN. It's on my bucket list. Ahem. I MEAN WAIT. WRITING IS FUN AND NICE AND GOOD.
The most annoying for me is probably the “write only what you’ve experienced.”
I’m currently developing a fantasy. (for fun. This is my first attempt aannnddd I just want to have fun doing it.)
I also want to write a book with spies and lost children and EXPLOSIONS and I have not experienced any of this. But I’m gonna do it anyway. Basically I completely agree with this whole post. Thank you very much for creating it.
SAME! That one really bothers me. If I only wrote what I’d experience…my book would be SO VERY BORING. -_- Pfft. And plus that advice is just rubbish, because what about historical fiction authors?! FANTASY AUTHORS? ALL THE AUTHORS. There is no author ever who has experienced every. single. thing they’ve written about. (In fiction, of course. Memoirs aside. 😂)
CAIT! This is so true. Here’s another one for the list:
–“You must outline! Otherwise, your story will never have any structure and will just be a mess.”
–“You must not outline! It kills creativity.”
Ha. Ha. This one has caused me particular confusion. I’ve gone both ways. I’ve realized as long as I figure out what works FOR ME (and that particular project), I’ll be fine. Just like your advice, right? 🙂
Anyway, thanks for this hilarious post!
YES. ABSOLUTELY YES, OMG. So true. 😂 😂 And outlining is SUCH a peculiar thing, right?! It honestly doesn’t work for some people and yet others thrive on it. I did both to find out what works for me. Which I think is a good idea! when in doubt: TRY ALL THE THINGS. 😂
Thank you for writing this, Cait!
I’m a nonfiction writer, and I’m finally writing a book. IT’S SCARY BECUASE I HAVE TO BE 1000000% ACCURATE IN WHAT I WRITE, and also make it amusing and relatable and enjoyable and professional ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
But it’s also nice to craft my own path. I’m one of the only teenagers I know that thrives on writing nonfiction, and it’s absolutely not for everyone, but it’s for me.
So sometimes I ask for advice and other times I just forge my own way.
Everyone has different advice, especially when it comes to topics/format/writing style/etc., but only *I* can write the book I was meant to write, and that’s the BEST advice I’ve ever received.
“Only YOU can write your book. Only YOU can tell your story. Instead of doing what everyone else does, do YOU. Do what works because it’s what YOU want to do, and not because it’s what everyone else is telling you that you should do.”
There’s so much advice out there – it’s alright to take some of it and ignore the rest.
Ohhhh you write nonfic?! THAT IS AMAZING. CAKE FOR YOU. (Honestly I’m so in awe. 😂 I think that’d be SO much harder than fiction!) Ahem. But YES. Writing is just genuinely a really really hard thing to do. *dies a little*
And I think advice should be read and taken onboard? But it’s more like GUIDELINES. Nothing is going to work for everyone, right?! I totally agree with “taking some and ignoring the rest”. < --- Best advice right there. 😂
YES YES YES ON THE DIVERSITY THING!!!! It’s like ‘ooh, writers, you need to include diverse characters – wait, you’re *not* a disabled male lesbian who fights crime and runs marathons – sometimes simultaneously?! HOW DARE YOU PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT?!?!?!’
Fab post 🙂
EXACTLY. It’s sooooo frustrating. GAH. I mean, we do need diverse-books-by-diverse-authors, but that doesn’t mean other writers can’t write it too!! I think readers are being unrealistically demanding these days. 😂
Oh man, I was getting so bogged down reading through this (guilty confession. I skipped some of the advice, and jumped down to the end. I’m such a bad faun >.<) I am so glad glad for your advice, it was like a refreshing breath of air.
BAHAH, well I’m glad you liked it in the end!! 😂 The end was the only important part anyway. 😉
hahaha I had so much fun reading this post 🙂 yes do this but don’t do it!!! Man, being a writer is HARD stuff! Horror movie-ish not for the faint-hearted 🙂 because there is a lot of killing. Bloody kill your darlings!. I refuse to kill many of them because I GAVE BIRTH to them!. Painfully! with long hours of contractions and LOTS of pushing. So I put them in the purgatory to me reborn in another book where they are loved for who they are. 🙂 🙂 🙂 Great post Cait. I WILL FOLLOW YOUR WRITE DRUNK ADVICE FAITHFULLY.
SO VERY TRUE. We writers deserve a medal just for existing most days tbh. *collapses dramatically* OUR PSYCHO CHARACTERS ARE VERY DEMANDING AND ENERGY DRAINING.
Sometimes writing drunk doesn’t seem like a bad idea. 😂
CAIT, CAIT, CAITTT! YOU FINALLY MADE THE POST YOU REPLIED TO ME ABOUT! I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY! I WAS WAITING FOR THIS! AGHHHH!!!!
*Breathes deeply. Calms down* Seriously though this post is freaking FUNNY but true! I especially loved that part at the end where you wrote that there is really NO ONE way to write and I think that that’s why people have different tastes in books because they like different writing styles and book genres. There is no rule that says you can only like one type of writing style or this type of trope. And when I think about it, literature IS DIVERSE in itself. It connects people from all ages, genders and races into one passion and that is BOOKS. SO YAY FOR BOOKWORMS AND HURRAH FOR BOOKS! This post has now REALLY INSPIRED me to write the book that’s been bugging my head for quite a while now. (Just a little sneak peak. It’s features fairies, alternate dimensions, magic and ice-breathing dragons! I haven’t really formed a plot in my head yet but that’s the gist of it. Hehe. ) Anyway, thank you again for this post Cait! Here’s a BIG slice of red velvet cake (cause I love red velvet!) *gives slice* 😀
AHHH I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT. 😂 😂 It was so fun to write (and kind of quietly let off a bit of steam haha, because these issues have been bothering me badly for a while) Ahem. And YES! I really think we writers can get pressured into thinking we have to do a certain list of things but nope nope nope. We need to learn things, of course, but we need to go about it in OUR WAY. And any “rule” can honestly be broken if written well and passionately. In my opinion anyway. 😂
DID YOU SAY FAIRIES AND ICE-BREATHING DRAGONS?! *SHRIEKS* I LOVE IT. I am literally editing a book on ice-breathing dragons right now and it PAINS me that there aren’t very many of them around. WHY. WE NEED THEM.
*gobbles the cake*
GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR WRITING NOW!!!
Yup! You heard right! Recently I’ve become quite obsessed with fairies because I think they’re like the most magical creatures in literature and myth but they can still kick ass. I mean they’re not just all fairy dust, fluttering wings and beautiful faces. So I’m kinda toying with that idea. And yes there IS A NEED FOR ICE-BREATHING DRAGONS! Who says only fire-breathing dragons are awesome? Ice-breathing dragons are COOL too! (See what I did there? 😀 )
So, thanks for the encouragement Cait! If you don’t mind me asking do you know which site I could publish my novel when it’s done or where I could somehow get it published? That you would really help a lot. Thanks again! 😀
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. 😂 I am so proud. :’)
There are basically a zillion options for self-publishing (if that’s what you’re after?) and I can’t give any advice on that because I’m perusing traditional publishing myself. 😉 I suggest lots of googling, especially about the “right and wrong” way to self-publish so you can get an idea of what people are after. Or, if you’re just interested in posting it online…I post on wattpad! It’s quite fun and easy to negotiate. 😀
Thank you! *bows gallantly*
I am thinking of self-publishing because it seems as though getting published is quite the tough work. I will look it up though. On the other hand, perfect timing! I just made a Wattpad account along with a fanfiction.net account! Thanks a bunch Cait! 😀 Would it be okay to know your Wattpad account or at least the name of your stories? I’d like to give them a read and at least draw some inspiration from them. 😉
Publishing any way is pretty tough, tbh! Especially if you want to self-publish as professionally as possible…but totally go with whatever YOU want to do. *nods* OH YAY FOR WATTPAD! And yes, omg, of course! I do have a link to my stories in the footer somewhere, but you can find my profile here too. <33 💕
Sweet! THANK YOU! *blows kisses your way* 😀 <3
This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
MY WORK HERE IS DONE THEN.
CAITICLES I LOVE YOU.
YES TO THIS POST.
I am sosososo tired of all the writing advice that contradicts itself but is also “THE ONLY WAY TO WRITE ANYTHING GOSH WHY WOULD YOU NOT LISTEN TO THIS IF YOU DON’T YOU WILL BE RELEGATED TO THE STALE CAKE CRUMBS IN THE DUMPSTER.” Ugh. It makes me want to just pretend I’m not a writer and go hide in a very deep hole (or vat of chocolate, yes). (It doesn’t help that I’m naturally rebellious and HATE going with the flow… -_- SO I WILL WRITE HOW I WANT. LIKE LOKI.)
Which is why this post is perfection and I thank you for it. Because at least you POINT THIS OUT. In a frankly hilarious manner. With Dean and Castiel gifs. Which of course is even more win.
Basically this post = INSTALOVE. <3
(Which, of course, we must NEVER EVER PUT IN OUR BOOKS. …EXCEPT THAT WE MUST BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT AND GOSH WE SIMPLY MUST FOLLOW THE OTHER LEMMINGS OVER THE CLIFF OR WE WILL NEVER BE RICH AND FAMOUS. OR POSSIBLY NEVER FOLLOW OUR DREAM BECAUSE WRITING FOR MONEY IS WRONG. GOSH WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS COMPLICATED, DEBORAH, IT'S SO SIMPLE.)
I AM SO MONSTROUSLY GLAD YOU LIKE IT. *shrieks and throws cake in the air to dance in*
Sometimes the idea of trying to get it all right makes ME want to just throw my laptop out the window and become a cake. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FUSSY?!?!?!? There is no pleasing them, tbh. Which I think is important to actually LEARN. Because we can’t please everyone and we need to just write and write whatever we want *nods*
ALWAYS WIN WITH SUPERNATURAL GIFS THOUGH. *hugs precious deranged supernatural darlings*
“Follow the other lemmings over the cliff” < --- *CRIES WITH LAUGHTER* YES. Same with love triangles. Never do them...but always do them because everyone else is doing them. -_-
I LOVE!
It’s a list of contradictions, just as we, the writerly people are. We dare to dream about how dare we dare to dream ;D
Thanks Cait! I am a bit dried up in the creative well and was browsing and the laughs really helped.
xoxox
I’m glad it made you laugh, Dashie!! *flails happily*
*sends you encouragingly creative chocolate*
Haha, I was so concerned for a while. I was like, “I disagree with like, half of this!! And a lot of it doesn’t make sense!…. Is Cait being sarcastic?? O.o” Then I kept reading and sure enough you were. xD
Thank you. You are right. There is no one way to do this!! The end. xD
BAHHAHAHA. 😂 😂 YES. JUST A LITTLE SARCASTIC HERE. (I was actually really worried that no one would like this, but afjdskalfd I’m GLAD EVERYONE GOT IT. 😂)
Aaahh… so I came to the conclusion that my story will probably go like this- There was a whole bunch of siblings living in a pretty little house where a dragon came up and burned all of it. Everyone died and the dragon lived happily ever after. THE END. XD
Sooo, jokes apart, this was preeeeeetty helpful, i think… I’m going to keep this in my mind, hopefully it doesn’t explode, but yes I’m going to try and follow as much as I can. Loved this post Cait!
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GRAND STORY. You’re sure to be a bestseller. And I, of course, will take a cut FOR INSPIRING YOU SO TERRIFICALLY. :’) #logic
My pet peeve is the diversity thing. On the one hand, you’ve got white writers getting flack for not writing people of colour… but when they do, they either get called on mistakes or they’re accused of appropriation. They can’t win. That “white-people-can’t-write-anything-but-white-characters” argument suggests that we’re all so different that we can’t possibly understand one another. So why bother reading books at all? We’ll never understand each other, so why bother trying?
EXACTLY. It’s actually making me a bit mad at the moment, so this was my undercover rant. 😂
I also am not a fan of this whole “you can only write diversely if you are part of that minority”. Because…no??? Like that’s just asking for minorities to NEVER be talked about while we wait for a good writer to come from them. Plus I’ve honestly seen reviewers critiquing an author for being rich/white or whatever. Like what does that have to do with the quality of their story? We shouldn’t have to fill certain criteria to be a writer.
Basically I thoroughly agree with ALL OF your comment. <3
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES TO ALL OF THIS. (bookmarks post) So much yes. THANK YOU FOR BLESSING MY LIFE WITH THIS ADVICE. Your blog has helped me develop mine so much. Thank you thank you thank you. You are the absolute best. *hands you cake*
YOU ARE MOST WELCOME FOR THE BLESSING THAT IS MEEEEEEE. #humble :’)
The ‘write only what you know’ point, I’ve actually seen authors dish out that advice. Could you imagine where readers would be if that were gospel? There would be no Percy Jackson because I’m almost certain Rick Riordan has never been a teen demigod chased by monsters on a heroes quest. Instead, we’d have something like, ‘Percy Jackson: The middle aged man obsessed with mythology’.
We really do need real representation, but not at the expense of great writing and representation of all walks of life, rather than just those who shout the loudest. I think Aussie YA is pretty good at writing diverse characters who’s diversity isn’t a focal point. I think authors tend to be super critical of other authors, even more so than readers. It seems as though every man and his dog wants to tell authors what they’re doing wrong and how they should be writing.
‘WRITE WILDLY AND WONDERFULLY AND BE YOURSELF.’ That’s quite inspirational smushy. I have no desire to ever write because it just seems like such serious business. Being all about including this, not mentioning that and finding a balance that will make everyone happy and less about producing great reads that are ENTERTAINING. Fiction doesn’t always need to make sense, it’s fiction after all.
P.S. Put your quote above on a mug. It’ll sell like hot cakes <3
SO TRUE. Plus let’s all face the fact that we would die if AG Howard hadn’t written Morpheus, and the chances of her having wings and kind of purple skin are not very probable. (Not to be a DOUBTER or anything in case she does…) I think people need to chill a bit on the “write what you know” shriekings. 2nd hand experiences STILL MATTER. Ahem.
And I agree about the representation! I think we need TRUE diversity, not “trendy diversity”. So if someone is going to write it without knowing/researching, then it’d be better if they don’t. Buuuut, I still am a bit frustrated with this whole thing that people ONLY want diversity from diverse authors. It’s very limiting.
(Aussie YA, of course, is the best at everything.)
(Also EXCELLENT idea to put that quote on a mug. <3 WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU, KELLY?)
I gotta keep it brief today (otherwise I’ll probably get sucked into the void that is your gorgeous blog *gazes longingly at endless lists of posts and witticisms*). My two cents – actually let’s be real, Canada doesn’t do the penny anymore, so it’s more like a nickel worth of information…or it’s free, but I don’t give information freely because I need money for coffee *ahem* – my nickel of information is to READ LIKE A HEATHEN. This pretty much means read voraciously, loudly, obnoxiously and devour everything in sight. As a human it’s impossible to experience everything, so if you want to be a good writer, READ A LOT about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. Build up your arsenal of knowledge and then load it into your bazooka and fire it back into the world as a pretty little book that destroys hearts (face it, people love heartwrenchingly good books). After all, an English professor in an upper level uni class once told me it’s possible to get second-hand PTSD from reading survivor accounts of traumatic events (but I swear she reminded me SO MUCH of Professor Trelawney that I didn’t take her very seriously) …so if you can’t experience something first hand, experience it second-hand and READ >:)
Stay dangerous my bookwyrm, dragon-siccing, HEART RENDING writer-friend (aka. Cait) <3
Omg, you make me laugh. 😂 AND YES I LOVE YOUR ADVICE THERE. Reading is crucial to writing. It actually surprises me how many writers don’t seem to spend a lot of time reading?? I Mean. HOW. That’d be like trying to cook with AIR INSTEAD OF DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE AND STUFF. Ahem. Reading is everything. And also watching documentaries and things helps so much too. ONE CAN EXPERIENCE A LOT OF THINGS 2ND HAND. *nods*
YEEEEEEES This post was just one big “YEEEES”. This writing advice is so true. XD I love that there is literally no one way to write. It leaves so much room for error and learning and growing and BEING AWESOME. Because who wants to stay in a box? Boxes are so last year. Being unique is all the rage this season. 😉
SO TOTALLY TRUE!! And we can’t be awesome if we’re all trying to be the SAME anyway *nods* So it’s awesome that writing is subjective and varied, really. ;D *busts free of box and parties*
This. THIIIIIS. ^^^^^ Oh my gosh, this is genius. I’m dying of laughter at these gifs and also crying writerly tears because I CAN SO RELATE. Gah. Especially the diversity rules. What’s a poor author to do when everything is going to offend someone in one way or another??? Bravo, my friend. *applauds*
I AM SO HAPPY. 😂 😂 The diversity rules have just gotten more bizarre and impossible as the years go by, I think. Gah. WE’RE GONNA OFFEND SOMEONE EVENTUALLY BASICALLY, SO WE MIGHT AS WELL WRITE WHAT WE WANT.
Thank you for the underlying advice in this post. Also thank you for the reminder that I need to actually start writing if I want to publish a book some day. I have so many ideas, my struggle is actually writing them down into words.
Writing IS a struggle! I SHALL BE HERE FOR YOU WITH CHOCOLATE AND ENCOURAGING SHRIEKS. *nods*
Love post like these! So contradictory, but fun.
YAYYYYY I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT. 😂
Of course dreams are in your stomach, That’s where the cake goes. >.>
Truer words have not been spoken. :’)
Oh goodness, this is so sadly accurate it’s almost not even funny. *Cries while I laugh* About a year ago, when I decided to try blogging, I was very ignorant and thought all writing blogs had to be writing advice blogs. Therefore, I strode forth to attempt to find or dream up the perfect writing advice. THERE IS NO SUCH THING. It didn’t take me very long to realize that I knew nothing, and that, sadly, neither did anyone else.
Everything contradicts. Everything.
On the bright side, my current novel has both a dragon AND a brown skinned main character. However, seeing as I’m supposed to ‘write what I know,’ I should be writing about a twenty year old, white, middle class American girl who goes to the local community college because obviously imagination isn’t a thing. J.K. Rowling went to Hogwarts and C. S. Lewis grew up in Narnia. They couldn’t possibly have dreamed that all up.
Regardless, all that unhelpful advice is a good thing because it means exactly what you said. It means there are as many correct ways to write as there are writers.
Thanks for writing!
IT’S TRUE!! Nothing matches up!! And the more you try to find THE perfect writing advice, the more you realise that everyone is shouting something different. *dies a little* 😂
Ah, *sigh* I totally get that. If I wrote a book about what I know, I’m like 99% sure my audience would be asleep after chapter 2. #awkward
OH BUT JK ROWLING TOTALLY LIVED IN HOGWARTS. (And also no book could exist in EVER if writers only wrote what they knew…because then their books could only have ONE character in them. AHHHHHH.)
There’s an actual song the Smothers Brothers did about falling in a vat of chocolate and it’s //hilarious//
Also I loved this beautiful sarcastic post XD
AHHHH I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!! *flails* I actually did a blogging version like 398539 years ago?! I couldn’t find it though to link to it. 😂
OKAY HI. SO LIKE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING A BLOG POST BUT THEN I CAME OVER HERE BECAUSE I WAS WONDERING IF YOU POSTED A POST (I’M SO COHERENT AT THIS HOUR (AND I’M ALSO PROBABLY NOT GOING TO STOP TALKING IN ALL CAPS UNLESS AKISMET KICKS ME OUT (IF THAT IS INDEED YOUR SPAM MONITOR IDK))) BUT I STOPPED WRITING THAT BLOG POST SO THAT I COULD READ THIS ONE AND SO I AM JUST SITTING HERE FEASTING MY EYEBALLS ON BRILLIANCE AND LAUGHING OUT LOUD AND MY MOM IS LIKE, “WHUT IS SO FUNNY??” AND I’M JUST ACTING LIKE A FOUR YEAR OLD THIS WAS SO AMUSING I’M LINKING IT IN MY POST IS THAT IS OKAY OMG I’M ALSO WILTING DID I MENTION???
*whispers* you are amazing fyi
*screams* I LOVE THIS.!
THIS COMMENT IS AMAZING, FYI. I’M SMILING SO BIG RIGHT NOW, OMG, ABBIE. <33 Although I feel baaaaad that I have stolen you from your blog post *shoos you back to work*
I AM VERY GLAD IT MADE YOU LAUGH THOUGH. My job here = done.
I like killing people off though… lol! And I have like a kazillion books planned for one universe and I’m debating on whether or not they all need to be written because it’s like 12, and that’s seriously a lot. Anywhoo… I actually do listen to my stomach all the time, especially when it comes to goldfish.
Listening to stomachs is CRUCIAL for everything. Survival. Writing. Just generally everything *nods sagely* And omg 12 books is a lot!! GOOD LUCK 😂
OMG Cait THANK YOU FOR THIS! I have wanted to say something, ANYTHING about the hypocrisy, but I didn’t feel like I had a platform to do so, since I have not actually like, finished a book haha. The diversity thing is so upsetting to me, because I WANT to support diversity SO MUCH. But then I see people on Twitter yelling at me like “NO, white person, don’t write about diverse people. But also, don’t NOT write about diverse people. Go away and just leave the writing to the diverse people, your stories are invalid”. Diversity is freaking AWESOME, but not when you use it as a platform to make ANYONE feel bad. (And this is a SMALL minority of the diverse community, but it’s also a really vocal minority, and frankly, at times a bullying one. ANd that is never okay, I don’t care WHO you are.)
“Nobody likes novellas but you’ll probably need 1 or 25 of them.” <—— Most accurate statement of ever. Seriously, it is hilarious because we don't like them, I doubt authors like them, but I know I read them anyway 😂
Also, are you SURE I can't write while drinking? I think I am probably SUPER creative while intoxicated? Or I'll wake up the next morning and know that I am not, but either way, questions will be answered 😉 This post is just… I was just nodding along while reading, in between exclamations of "YES! Yes, this is exactly right!" Everything is SO contradictory! You kind of outdid yourself with this post, which is saying quite a bit because all your posts are fabulous. 😀
YOU ARE MOST WELCOME. 😂 And tbh, I really feel like ranting about that diversity issue…so this is kind of my cover for it. 😂 😂 It’s just not fair?!?? I’m actually kind of angry at the amount of people I see how basically imply that straight/white/middle-class authors should stop writing because they have nothing to say anymore. LIKE. NO???? I thoroughly want to support diverse writers writing diverse books. But that in NO WAY means the rest of us don’t have stories to tell. #rant 😂
I honestly wonder why novellas even exist half the time. AHHH. I mean, I’d probably read more of them but, HELLO am I going to spend $3 on like a 50page story? NOPE.
I actually have not written drunk…I have written HIGHLY CAFFEINATED though and I imagine it’d have a similar effect for me. 😂 😂
(Omg but thank you *tackle hugs* I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT. I was a bit worried about it, tbh, but I’m surrounded by a delightfully sarcasm-appreciative audience. <3)
THIS IS SO CLEVER. I started reading this and I was like ‘half of this makes no sense. Why is Cait contradicting herself’ until I kind of worked out you were being sarcastic. (so basically: congratulations on your evil-ovelord deceptiveness) And your gifs (and photos) are so perfect like what even. I couldn’t agree more about people telling you there is only one way to write and it is THEIR way. (side note: I had a teacher like this who basically made it like there is only one way to run, and you have to eat these foods, and do this type of training at this time of day and run in these kind of races and then I stopped doing cross country. Yeah. ) And seriously. What is it with every series and its dog having a novella? (although come to think of it novellas told from the perspective of a dog would be pretty dang awesome)
BAHAH, I’M GLAD IT WORKED. 😂 *collapses in relief* I was a teeny bit worried about it?!? Like “is everyone going to think I’m more deranged than usual??” 😂 SO YAY THAT IT WORKED. Ahem. (But omg that teacher had problems about the definition of “creativity” right?!? It’s so subjective! That saying, I had a writing mentor once that really pressured me into writing HER way, which I didn’t even understand that’s what she was doing back then and it really set me back AGES in trying to find my own style/voice. But eh.)
And YES what is it with all the novellas?!?? 😂 I mean, they’re OKAY. But I’m with you: I only want one from the POV’s of the dogs from now on…
Bhahahahahaha this post is genius Cait. XDD I laughed so much, seriously. xD Also can I use that “For the love of french fish” in my books? because it’s funny. I like funny.
FYI, yes I’m commenting again so yes I’m out of my hiatus, huzzah! BUT I never missed a post of yours and I read every single one of them. 🙂
YAYYYY THAT YOU’RE BACK BEE. I MISSED YOU. *flails* And I’m still kind of wildly shrieking that you still read all my posts. <3 You are the WONDERFULEST.
This is why I gave up listening to writing advice, and instead just fritter away my time doing WHATEVER I WANT. Which is usually mess around on the internet for 7 years rather than write, BUT STILL. And the point about diversity is so accurate – people want diversity but they don’t want it from certain people. And I mean, fair enough but still.
THIS IS WHY YOU’LL BE SUPER SUCCESSFUL AND ALSO FAMOUS. *nods* You’ll write a writers-help-book with that exact advice and become a bestselling genius. THIS WILL HAPPEN. I SEE IT. Ahem.
(This was actually all a cover up for me to rant about diversity. 😂 I’m getting really frustrated with the new thing of “we only want diversity if it’s BY diverse authors”. I mean, YES we need those books a lot. But you can’t just say because you’re straight/white/western that your story isn’t important too. ARGHHGHG. EVERYONE IS IMPORTANT. THAT’S THE DEFINITION OF EQUALITY. *howls*)
Where was this post when I was still writing back in my high-school days?! I would have loved to see this, as it definitely would have given me a nice kick in the butt to actually finish something. Of course, I still write for a living (working in media and all that), but I don’t write creatively anymore, which makes me sad.
Aww, that is sadness. 🙁 But I mean, sometimes it’s just not the RIGHT time in our life to do something, eh? YOU MIGHT GET BACK TO IT SOMEDAY!! 😀
Haha this was excellent. I definitely just had a good chuckle to myself. I have to say I’ve been on and off writing my own book (not that I’m telling one because I haven’t decided whether I’m serious about it or not yet) but I keep stalling because I was dead set that I would kill a certain character . . . but I really like them now *wails*. It’s so true though how much contradictory advice is out there, though! Sometimes I just think a beautiful, organised, pile of pre-meditated word vomit is as good a starting point as you’re going to get. Sort of like writing an essay. But fun.
And now I’m picturing an angry mob of writers telling people off for calling them silly – wielding pitch forks and torches whilst chasing after the non-believers in their pyjamas.
ALSO. Cait, I’ve discovered a new obsession. I was happily thinking about all the dragons I’ve been reading about lately (I just finished Talon and now I’m reading Seraphina *heaven*) and I suddenly thought – BUT THE GNOMES! This came about from a rewatching of Gnomeo and Juliet (possibly the funniest movie EVER) and me reading Ward of Faeries (Terry Brooks) in which their are indeedily gnomes. Like, gnomes are great, we need more gnomes.
Oh oh I hear ya with killing good characters. *cries with you* A book I was mentally plotting got SO STUCK because I’d set up these murders but THEN I DIDN’T WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH IT BECAUSE THE CHARACTER WAS AWESOME. #awkward But, eh, killing characters is part of the job description. *cracks knuckles ominously* Ahem. Anyway. What were we saying?
Omg you are so right. WHERE ARE THE GNOMES. :O *gasps* I don’t even think I’ve ever read gnomes except in Narnia??? AND THAT SEEMS LIKE A CRYING SHAME. In other news though: YAY DRAGONS. I approve of your dragonish life choices here. :’) I’m going to re-read Seraphina soon so I can read Shadow Scale! (Dang it, authors, please don’t have 98398 years between books I FORGET ALL THE THINGS. 😂)
CAIT!!
Okay I sat down to read this thinking to myself “okay, here we go… prepare yourself for writing advice and frustration….” (side note: I read it anyway because you are hilarious and I adore your blog and your words, so I couldn’t NOT read this post) and I was SO PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. I think an actual smile crept onto my face after the first few lines. This is my new favourite thing, right here. :p
Ps. I have been reading along for quite some time and I only comment VERY SPORADICALLY. I don’t know why. But here I am!!
Omg, thank you Olivia!! *flails* I’m SO HAPPY you liked it. 😂 Sometimes we gotta sarcastically vent about how confusing the writing life is right?!??!
(Also I appreciate the comment so so much! CAKE FOR YOU.)
Well, somebody’s been reading Tumblr. Or maybe you haven’t, but this is exactly that sort of thing that you see on Tumblr whenever a new book comes out. No matter how plot/character/setting/diversity are dealt with, SOMEBODY is going to criticise it, and it’s really discouraging to read (note to self: stop reading it.). Like the fallout from Half Lost? That was terrifying. I don’t think politically when I write (maybe I should? I don’t know. Do you?) and, after I read all of that, I was reading into EVERYTHING. Like, can I kill off that character? Can I write about a mythical creature that isn’t from European mythology? Is that okay? PANIC. I always try to do research when I’m writing diversity, and the thing that I find most infuriating is that you find sites saying that you SHOULDN’T write diversely if you’re white/straight/etc. because you can’t understand (I once had a friend tell me off for writing a character with DID, not because she’d read my story and found it offensive as someone who had struggled with her mental health, but because she found it offensive that I, as someone who hadn’t, felt that I could write about it) and also sites that say that any story without diversity should be given a lower rating/not be published in this day and age, regardless of the time period and setting.
I haven’t been on tumblr…just on blogs/twitter in general!! 😂🙈🙊 I feel a bit tired, honestly, of some of the contradictary demands out there! Especially when it comes to diversity. It seems like no one will EVER be satisfied with the effort???
AND OMG I LOVED HALF LOST AND I WILL DEFEND IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. *hugs it tightly*
And I also 100% hear you with the panic. :O (I’ve honestly received comments on my reviews telling me I have no right to an opinion on a minority because I’m not part of it blah blah etc. I HATE THAT. Authors haven’t murdered either, but we’re okay with them writing about that?) I do think there’s true struggles here. Like I’m definitely not going to write what it’s like to have a certain disability perfectly if I don’t have it, right? But it doesn’t mean I can’t research and try and get feedback. I’m getting annoyed with this new mantra of “we only want diverse books by diverse readers”. EVERYONE has the right to write and tell stories!!
(Sorry for that wild rant there.🙈🙊)
Ah this was a great post! Sarcasm is always welcome here, I think. This is so motivational, I feel like storming over and hammering out my writing project now. Thanks for this Cait!
Omg, thankyou!! I was a BIT worried it wouldn’t go down well, but I’m very glad to see I hang out with all the cool sarcastic people. 😂 *hi fives*
So, confession time. I read this when I was really tired. Like, REALLY tired. And so, in this already vulnerable state, I was looking through my blogger feed! “Oh, yay! A post from Cait! Why, what is this? A post on how to write a perfect novel? FINALLY I CAN STOP PULLING MY HAIR OUT!”
(Note: I’m currently in the midst of writing a novel and it is Frustrating with a capital F. Probably why I was so tired.)
So, I clicked the link and began to read. And although I”m usually an extremely sarcastic person, apparently Tired Grace Anne wasn’t comprehending sarcasm. Because the more I read, the more and more confused and frustrated and helpless I got, basically ending up going “THAT’S IT I’M NEVER GONNA BE A WRITER THIS IS AWFUL MY BOOK IS AWFUL I NEED THAT VAT OF CHOCOLATE STAT.”
Then I realized that it was sarcasm and I needed sleep.
So hopefully the story of a poor tired blonde was entertaining to you, Cait.
Bahahaha. I’M SORRY FOR DISAPPOINTING YOU, GRACE. 😂 😂 (And excuse me for laughing a lot right now omg.) But I know! I’m cruel! I lure you in with a fabulous title of promise and then end by suggesting we all drown our novels in chocolate. SO KIND, I AM. Ahem.
*gives you cake to make up for it*
Let me get this straight – you’re a black lesbian who’s dirt poor??? WHO KNEW?
This is stellar!
Yes, some advice needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Or a tablespoon.
Or a truckload of salt, right?! 😂
This is fantastic. Honestly, I think in any creative field, there is SOOO much contradictory advice. I’ve been reading this book called Daily Rituals that talks about the habits and schedules of creative people (composers, writers, artists, etc.) and none of them tackle creativity the same way. Some of them SWEAR that their method is the only way to get things done, but then you turn the page and some other famous creative guy is doing the exact opposite thing to find his inspiration.
YES. Absolutely! It’s because creativity is so subjective, right?! And any time you try to put “rules” around it, it just doesn’t work because we all interpret so differently. (I like the sound of this Daily Rituals book though!) And actually my family was talking about can-you-write-at-any-time and I’m like “OF COURSE YOU CAN YOU JUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE” and they’re all like “no…inspiration????” Definite proof that we’re all different. 😂
HAHAHA even though I’m not a writer (and there’s a high chance I might never be because UGH English hates me), I find this post really hilarious. I mean, yeah you’re right. A lot of people demands there to be rules and regulations about writing a book, but eventually contradicts themselves. I think an author should just have a passion in wanting to tell their story, and the book will turn out great!!
English hates me too, but I DON’T LET IT WIN. 😂 I just write with horrific grammar and my beta-readers all hate me. AHEM. 😉 But omg I’m so glad you liked it! I think the rules are getting a bit wild at the moment too, with people saying they WANT stuff but then contradicting themselves and ahhhhh how are we supposed to make everyone happy?! *collapses*
Dragon advice, but no food or cake advice?
Love the humor in the post, Cait! 🙂
OMG TRUE. YOU CAUGHT ME. I HAVE FAILED YOU ALL. *collapses dramatically*
Haha. You are right. Eating a sandwich is so much better than writing drunk. (I do admit the creativity genes get an all time high when drunk, but who knows if you are actually writing those thoughts or writing gibberish). The hint is to read all you can. Learn from other writer’s works rather than follow a set of steadfast rules. And put in one word. and then another. Fill up a page, tear it all up. The next day write another word however. And soon the magic will be yours.
SANDWICHES ARE REALLY DIVINE. I wouldn’t know about writing drunk actually 😂 although writing on a lot of caffeine is amusing enough for me. AHEM. 😂 And YES to reading all you can. I actually get astounded when I meet writers who don’t read. How…how do they learn and grow??? #mindboggled
SO HELPFUL. i loved this post! it was really funny, and like, still had really good advice. sarcasm makes everything better. and chocolate too. But i love what you said about there being no ONE single way to write and that’s the ONLY proper way, because, yeah, everybody’s different. DIVERSITY. <3 awesome post.
Ahhhh YAY. Thankyou, Autumn! 😂 I’m glad you liked it! (I was a bit worried no one would get it, but omg it was so fun to write, ahhah, *ahem*)
I seriously love this post so much!! No joke, this is all fantastic advice! Bookmarking this post to read over and over! But really the best way to write a bestselling novel is to make you write it me haha! Pretty with please with cake on top? I kid, I kid.
~Sara
AHHHH, thank you Sara!! 😂 It’s perfect advice, though, right? WHAT CAN GO WRONG IF YOU FOLLOW THIS.
I was going to comment on the diversity thing, but thankfully I read the other comments first. It seems to be well covered. So I’ll just say, thanks for the laughs. If I ever become a writer, I will scrupulously follow every rule.
REMEMBER ME AND MY LIFE SAVING ADVICE WHEN YOU’RE FAMOUS.
How could I not?
Such a GREAT post! Pinterest is one of my favorite sites because there’s a lot of information and inspiration out there. But there are a lot of pins that contradict each other. They’ll be a blog that gives a list of reasons to *do all the things* and another blog about *not doing all those same things* – kinda like this one, but they’re both a lot less entertaining and are just plain confusing. Thank you so much for this!
Omg I totally know what you mean!! It’s so confusing sometimes, right?!? 😂
I’ve definitely noticed how writing advice contradicts itself. I’ve tried a lot of different advice and it’s taken a while to find what works for me. I think to find out one’s method, we have to try a bunch of things before we settle on the right patterns. I know some people who write every day and benefit from it, but I have to take breaks or I feel drained of creativity. Some people (like you 😉 ) write a book really fast and others write theirs in a year, but my preferred is 2-3 months because it’s more relaxing, but it doesn’t go on too long so I’m getting bored of the story.
storitorigrace.blogspot.com
So so very true!! I’m a big believer of trying different things until you find what works best. :’) I tried a year as a panster and nopity nope, I am 100% a plotter. 😂 But it’s good to know!
And I think it’s kind of awesome how we’re all super different. There are SO many methods and at the end we can all present an awesome book we’ve worked hard on and love. <3
I LOVE ALL OF THIS.
i feel like every time i sit down to write i go “yes! i am following all the rules and this is going to turn out perfe-
wait. nope. WHO CHANGED ALL THE WRITING RULES??????”
i am totally with the whole chocolate vat thing. like… gah. #heaven.
and i just want to say that i REALLY REALLY REALLY love all the gifs. all of them, 🙂
girl this post was BEAUTIFUL. there is no right way to write, but neither is there a wrong way.
omg I KNOW RIGHT?! One day they say “do this” the next they say “do that”….this is why writing is so hard. WE POOR SUFFERING WRITERLY SOULS. Ahem.
But afjdsakld I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT. 😂
Excellent post and loved the sarcasm!
@sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles
YAYYYY I’m glad you liked it!!! 😂
These are such amazing tips! So helpful!n Bahh! I might explode.
Nabila // Hot Town Cool Girl
I’m glad you liked it!! 😂
I needed this post so much right now.
I’ve had The Worst case of writer’s block for so long now, and I decided a couple of weeks ago that it was time to slowly crawl my way out of it… but I’ve been absolutely terrified to start writing, as I keep feeling like I’m going to do it wrong.~~~ So, of course, I’ve gone on to read a lot of articles online to try and give myself a little push in the right direction and, like you said in this post, SO MANY CONTRADICTIONS. It made me feel even more confused and even more disheartened. However, after reading this post, I am feeling a good bit more positive. And I CAN DO THIS. Maybe. Hopefully. I’m going to try… Ahaha.
Thanks for a wonderful post as always, Cait. 🙂
AHHHH I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT. <3 And omg I really hope you keep crawling away from the writers block and get a delicious bunch of inspiration soon. *sends encouraging chocolate to you* Honestly sometimes it's better to NOT research. And just write. 😂 YOU CAN DO IT, SHAUNNA. I BELIEVE IN YOU.
I LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH! I always love your posts but this was a real highlight. There were too many funny bits for me to pick one! I LOVE IT!
Gee, Emily, stop fangirling over Cait’s post!
Sorry, Emily, I’ll stop.
Emily, stop talking to yourself–
OK ANYWAY, one of my Big Qualms as I was posting about recently is “diverse characters! WHERE ARE YOUR DIVERSE CHARACTERS?! … oho but YOU’RE not Jewish STOP RIGHT THERE MY FRIEND! … No but get a black character in there come on … OK BUT WHY IS THE WHITE MC’S FRIEND OF COLOUR ARE YOU SAYING PEOPLE OF COLOUR CAN ONLY BE FRIENDS AND NOT MCS?!! … Oh, so they’re white, now, are they?! That’s THINLY VEILED RACISM!” At which point I dive into the vat of chocolate sauce ….
I am thinking about an amazing Calvin and Hobbes cartoon (are you a C&H fan?)
C: I’m writing a novel!
H: Oh! What’s it about?
C: It’s about a guy who sits flicking through TV channels with his remote.
H: …
C: …
H: ~walks off~
C: THEY SAY TO WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW!
I’M REALLY REALLY GLAD, EMILY. *shrieks happily* I was actually super nervous about this?!? I’m not usually THIS sarcastic. (Although it is my language…ahem.) 😂 So I’m kind of glad it went down super well. EEEP.
But omg, the diverse characters frustrate me no end. :O It used to all just be promoting diversity…now it seems YOU have to match all the criteria to be “allowed”??? SAY WUT. Writing shouldn’t be about a zillion rules!! IF WE WROTE JUST ABOUT OURSELVES WE WOULD ALL DIE OF BOREDOM OMG.
Oh wow, this is hilariously fabulous. I have seen all of this advice before, and it is sooo frustrating! Except, of course, for the dragon advice. That makes perfect sense and should always be followed.
My dragon advice is undoubtedly FLAWLESS OF COURSE. *flips hair* 😂
HAHAHAHAHA I love this!!
And it’s SO TRUE! Writing advice is always so contradictory. I usually just ignore it all.
My favourite advice is the dragons thing. I legit did this with my current WIP…I was just thinking of adding characters and suddenly one of them was a dragon and now there’s a whole heap of dragons and I’m getting seriously tempted to just dump the original story and just write the stories of all these dragons.
True story.
I don’t think any of the advice particularly bugs me…I just sort of ignore it all, so none of really makes enough of an impact to bug me.
Is that weird? It feels like that’s weird.
And if someone tells me that I have to do something, why would I stuff their face with cake?? That’s MY cake, I’m not giving it to someone who annoys me! I shall instead stuff their face with…cabbages. Yes, cabbages.
Ignoring it all isn’t a bad idea, tbh. 😂
I highly approve of your spontaneous combustion into dragons though. ALL BOOKS NEED DRAGONS. IT CAN ONLY IMPROVE THINGS. (Confession: Every second book I write now is about dragons. #norgrets)
OKAY TRUE THOUGH ABOUT THE CAKE. Maybe we should just stuff ourselves with cake and therefore anyone’s criticism will not affect us because we will be full of glorious cake??? < -- GOOD LIFE PLAN
Hey Cait. This is a great post that not only points out the contradictions but makes me laugh too. I love the way you write your posts they somehow always leave me smiling. Also your drowning in a chocolate vat reminded me if something. Last year one point while me and a friend were doing work in class but also talking over gmail chat together we somehow created this imaginary gift where I had an army if dragons that she was trying to destroy and for some reason during this time my dragons become allergic to chocolate (which was extremely sad) and ended up dying because she drowned them in hot chocolate. I have to say the covers stones that can happen at school can be quite weird. 😀
AWW, I’M SUPER GLAD ABOUT THAT. *flails happily*
Omg to your dragon-drowning-story. 😂 I FEEL SAD FOR YOUR CHOCOLATE-ALLERGIC-DRAGONS THOUGH. What a very sad existence for them. *sniffs sadly* 😂
This is so hilarious Cait – so much awesome contradicting advice out there! THIS IS WHY I AM ANNOYED AT SJM – “But if you change them too much, then your readers will hate it. Possibly burn you at the stake.” but apparently I’m the only one who hates it so….I completely agree – staying true to yourself and believing in your story is the best way to go about it!
OMG ME TOO EXACTLY WITH SJM. I mean, I guess her writing style is just changing as she writes more…but I honestly just don’t like it anymore. :O And I feel like her characters do ENTIRE personality pendulum swings. *cries* I’m kind of glad you agree though, hehe, I don’t feel so alone! 😂
This is so hilarious! I was doing that laughing silently thing because I was laughing so hard. It’s true though. For beginner writers who want ALL THE ADVICE it’s really confusing because all the advice contradicts itself.
“So at least make sure they’re well-developed ghosts.”
XD That was the best! And I agree 1275% with the dragon advice. Dragons rule. Also, I like that sarcasm gif.
Awesome post!
AHHH I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS, ASHLEY. *flails happily* 😂 All books should have dragons, right?! Im’ not even sure why they don’t, tbh.
My advice is to stop reading those never ending advices but read actual books paying attention to the way they’re written, etc.
Last year I had to physically restrict myself from reading internet advice because it only made me anxious about what I was writing, had written, and was still to write! Urgh!
That is EXCELLENT advice and I highly approve *nods*
cait your ghosts are the most well-developed ghosts i have ever had the joy of reading.
#deadboy
AHHHH THIS MAKES ME SMILE. YOU WONDERFUL BEAN.
Wow, this is quite a list! Just had to say that. 🙂 Love the humor and contradiction in many of these, made me smile! ^_^
😀 While there are a lot of internet post advice on writing, this is one is fun and funny to read and is so true and honest! I found out, when I started drafting a story, that even a short scene required me to do tons of research. And as someone whose first language isn’t English, I second guess myself at times and have to consult the internet or my dictionary just to make sure I hadn’t murdered a cultural phrase.
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