Once upon a time, I vanished into the dark depths of February and wrote a book.
No. That’s a lie. I wrote two books. YES, FIENDS OF THE GALAXIES, I WROTE TWO BOOKS BACK-TO-BACK AND HOW AM I STILL BREATHING. I DON’T KNOW. I feel like February absolutely ate me, because I was lost in the dark depths of my mind * for 11 days straight. 8 of those days I spent writing, 1 = I spent puking because darn you family and your inability to keep sickness to yourself, and 2 = I took completely off so I could lay facedown on the carpet and miss my word-children so much I spontaneously decided to write the sequel.
Did February eat me or did I eat February? We’ll never know.
But I feel entirely out of the loop with blogging and reading! What’s going on? Who has done what? What has been read? Is the moon still shining? Have the trees waged war against the thousands of deaths of their brothers whom we call paperbacks and keep covertly in bookshelves? ** Has anyone grown an extra head? Hit some milestone? Missed me? Learned to play Beethoven’s 3rd? Turned into a grape???????
I just don’t know.
But I am back. FOR NOW. Because, quite frankly, I had the best time of my life writing these two books and it’s come to my attention I will need to slip away more this year to write. But then it will all need editing and who’s going to do that???
Because I may write fast, but folks, these books are messes. Beautiful messes though. I’m a proud parent of even my most dysfunctional and ugly children.
So! I asked twitter what it would like to see upon my return.
I’M SIMULTANEOUSLY PROUD AND TERRIFIED THAT YOU WANTED SNIPPETS. I get seriously nervous talking about my writing. Like I want to share all the things with you, but is it too much??? Is it confusing??? Am I gabbing on too much??? Am I even funny when I think I’m funny??? ARE THE PLANETS ACTUALLY IN THE SKY OR IS IT ALL JUST A GRAND ILLUSION???
But instead of stuffing myself in an envelope and mailing myself to Jupiter (but is it even there, mate, or do the skies lie), I’m going to do a snippets post! I’ll also keep up the tradition and do a Q&A with myself on questions you never asked and probably didn’t want to know but HEY. WHAT HAVE WE GOT TO LOSE. ***
* Short horror story right there.
** Second horror story because omg if trees reclaim their murdered brothers WHAT WILL I TAKE PHOTOS OF FOR MY #BOOKSTAGRAM??? Am I ready for war with the trees?? I’m too young for this.
*** Like, maybe….MY MIND???? I mean I lost that years ago. But holy flipping pancakes, I’M AN UNCONFIDENT BEAN.
“SO, CAIT, WHY DID YOU WRITE 2 BOOKS AT ONCE? YOU SAID YOU WERE WRITING 1? WHY’D YOU LIE TO US, HUH?”
As a nefarious evil queen, I have to do evil now and then to uphold my name. It’s just how it is. Here is a cupcake. Try to deal.
Also my secondary answer is the small fact that book one ended on a horrible cliffhanger. The last word of the book was “SCREAMING” and I was screaming too! I needed to find out! My book was in pain and I needed to fix it! (By adding…in…more …pain???Okay I don’t even know.) I had an outline ready! NOTHING WAS THERE TO STOP ME, NOT EVEN COMMON SENSE, SO I WENT FOR IT.
FYI the last word of the second book is “DANCING” so I think we can all safely assume it’s best to skip book one and go to book 2 because #happier. *
* Or else it’s like a dance of pain and evil and I’m lying again about the supposed “happiness”. So. There’s that too…
“DID YOU BREAK ANY PERSONAL RECORDS THAT WE SHOULD ALL BE WORRIED ABOUT?”
FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK BECAUSE YES. I wrote 200,000 words in 8 days. (That’s two books by the way, haha, don’t freak out.) Boom. For my next trick, I’ll write all that in an afternoon and then retire to the Bahamas and live in a hammock for the rest of my born days.
“CAN I HATE YOU?”
No, you’ll hurt my feelings and they’re very precious feelings because I only have TWO OF THEM. The rest of me is an uncaring seashell. #TeamProtectCaitsFeelingsTheyreAnEndangeredSpecies
“WHAT DID YOU EVEN WRITE ABOUT AGAIN? I GUESS STABBING, BUT WAS THERE ANY OTHER PLOT?”
You guess stabbing? Aww! It’s like you KNOW ME * and I’m so pleased. But what is it about? Let’s see…
I wrote a post and had you vote for my project ** so go over yonder and see details there! Or I’ll give you a quick list update now:
- it’s about stabbing (no one is surprised)
- and a haunted opera house that’s personified and has feelings and opinions and they are “kill all the things”
- it needs counselling
- it’s about a dancer boy whom is THE BEST and so the opera house wants HIM DEAD
- there is a timid cute ghost smol son
- everyone gets sassed half to death and back again
- cute cats
- set in an alternate-reality-fantasy-inspired-magician-ruled Paris
- not everyone dies at the end because a lot of them die at the beginning because #ghosts
- I’m so smart
* Oh wait. I’m writing the questions out. Darn.
** This book like…came…3rd on the poll????? SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HAVING YOU VOTE? I DON’T KNOW. My evil queenness strikes yet again. I’ve become a monster and am ignoring the people.
“HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU SPEND WRITING ANYWAY, YOU ODD GRAPEFRUIT?”
Stop name calling. What is this. Who is writing this.
Also I actually decided to track how long it took me to write! Inspired by hearing Marissa Meyer track all the hours she put into writing Heartless. SO I THOUGHT I’D DO THAT TOO.
I made colourful writing logs.
It amused me greatly.
I love charts and spreadsheets and stats. I’m addicted. It’s a worry and I don’t even care.
I regularly spent at least 8 hours writing and hit 30K most days.
Also 30K in a day is a new best for me. #yas
My hands hate me. I overhyped myself the whole time and couldn’t sleep barely at all. And I think I existed mostly on brownie.
2/10 would not recommend being me if you can help it.
Also ANY TIME I got to an emotion scene I slooooooowed down so badly. Any time I was writing like a fiend was when someone was getting thrown off a roof or set on fire. I’m a nice person in real life I actually promise.
PS. I always say this but…not everyone can take 4 days off to just write ALL DAY. Obviously. I’m very lucky! This post doesn’t exist for me to be bragging so hopefully it never comes across that way! I just want to share my liiiiiife with you, frens.
“ANY FUN FACTS WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THESE TWO BOOKS?”
Absolutely YES. Any reason to write a list, let’s be honest here.
- I named my character Toulouse after the kitten in Aristocats. So I gave him a pet cat who became absolutely VITAL to the storyline and literally stole the show 90% of the time. Oh it’s fine, dear outline, I WASN’T COUNTING ON YOU AT ALL.
- I didn’t get writers block. At, um, all. Wow. Must be the cake.
- I forgot to name most of my characters. And was then scrambling for French names on the internet and crying. WRITER PRO HERE.
- I’m actually HOPELESSLY IN LOVE with these two books. They were so easy and fun and exciting and heartbreaking to write. I had feels. I have feels. I’m struggling to let them go.
- Oh and I’ve officially written 25 books now. I have no life. Just endless parties in my head.
- Oh and they’re not…YA…as…intended?!? Like DARN YOU, NOVELS. I’m so mad. But they turned out super super dark and feels very much like adult fantasy instead. So. Bury me.
- They are full of the most terrible horrible puns in the world. I didn’t put this in the outline either. WHY EVEN DID I WRITE AN OUTLINE, HUH. My pun game is so strong, though. Everyone in this book either dies from (A) the opera house walls murdering them, or (B) using one too many bad puns and having the rest of the cast strangle them.
- There is so SO much dancing. It makes me happy. This should be a movie. Let’s skip the editing and go straight to there and make me a millionaire.
I’m so nervous, HOLD ME, FRANK. But here are a jumble of words that happened in both books. I’m proud of them but they’re messy and I honestly miss this book already. BRING ON THE EDITS! Except hahah no. Maybe in 2 years time.
THAT TIME IT GOT A LITTLE BIT META:
CAN’T STOP THAT PUN FEELING OHHH OOOH:
PARENTING IS A+ IN THIS NOVEL:
HE NEEDS TO STOP, LET’S BE REAL HERE:
THERE’S FOOD BECAUSE OF COURSE:
THE GHOST IS ALSO A KLEPTOMANIAC
THE PUNS FIND THEIR END, AT LAST OMG:
EVERYONE WANTS TO BE ALLITERATED
Now to let it moulder pleasantly while I nap.
Just kidding. I don’t sleep.
But I will be writing another book again soon! Probably April for Camp NaNo because 2017 is the year of WRITING ALL THE THINGS APPARENTLY!!! I just have so many stories. And I have to tell them or I’ll combust. So bear with me! And don’t panic about the blog because eeeeverything will be going back to normal here!
If it ever was normal.