It’s Tuesday, meaning high time for a crisis, so I want to talk about relatable characters.
I truly believe characters are the MOST important part of a book. Yes! Some bookworms do prefer a good plot and can put up with potatoes leading the narrative. But I’m opposite: you can leave me in a bucket of super-cliche…but make sure I’m wholly in love with the characters and I won’t even mind.
I absolutely live for the moments when a character explodes off the page and is so complex and real and dimensional that I feel like I’ve known them all my life?! Or those really special and amazing books that make you feel like you’re on the adventure. Readers live a thousand lives and THIS IS WHY.
You can experience the world through a hundred perspectives and never leave your room! Which you probably can’t leave your room! Books are blocking the door!
That is not our fault though. Please don’t blame us. The books just appear. They don’t ask.
But, look…here’s what I’ve been pondering lately. Do we gravitate towards characters who are completely opposite to us or ones who are similar?
There are so many pros-vs-cons for this and I’m ABOUT TO HIT YOU WITH A LIST. (I’ll hit you softly though because I’m furiously wild but also very polite because anXieTY.) But it does make me wonder which is better for us to read. Is there a blanket rule for this? If you’re part of a minority experience, does this change who you want to (or should?) read about?
And at the end of the day the answer is always: DOES IT REALLY MATTER JUST READ WAHT YOU WANT. Which is true, yes, but that doesn’t make a blog post and I’m a kettle full of crises so I must share them with you.
- Best thing first…it’s relatable. We can really get into the story because it’s like “I know how that feels!”
- Which is also validating, right?! I can’t say how GOOD it is to read a character doing something and realise you are not alone in that strange thing you do or think or feel.
- If you’re part of a minority, often times it’s this huge comfort to read about others who go through what you do. Because your experience is NOT common. And therefore it can feel isolating! I mean this can go for anything to sexuality, illness, disability, mental health, religion, gender identity, poverty, or whether you can burst into flame.
- For me, not everyone knows what it’s like to live with severe anxiety, so when I find a book that REALLY GETS IT — I just feel super understood.
- Even if it’s not a minority experience, but just SOMETHING you’ve had happen in your life! Homeschooling for instance! Or moving to another country! Going through a messy and difficult family experience. A romantic breakup. Dealing with grief. Working your little brain out to achieve something. WHEN YOU DROP YOUR TOAST AND IT LANDS JAM SIDE DOWN AND YOUR LIFE IS RUINED.
- Also personalities: it is just GOOD to read about a character who reacts to things like you do.
- Oh is this character a Slytherin??? RELATE.
- Depending on the genre, the book might take an experience you relate to — add in dragons and vorpal blades — and bam, wow, this is what you needed from life.
- It’s just good to pick up a book and say, “YA THAT CHARACTER IS MEEEEEE”.
- Although the flip-side of this all is: sometimes you want to escape to a new world, new people. I mean we read a book to have an adventure, right?? Sometimes when things are to similar to our lives it’s frustrating. (For instance, I know what it’s like to see gross amounts of sexism. When I read, sometimes I want AWAY from that. I don’t care if it’s relatable…I want a world where it isn’t happening so I can have a break.)
So let’s talk about THE FLIP SIDE.
- When it comes to reading, one of the best things is you can “walk around in someone else’s shoes for a while”. Life is very narrow and boring if we only live by our perspective. And it’s also kind of problematic to avoid learning other perspectives???
- You learn empathy for things you’ve never experienced. This can be ridiculously crucial, I can’t even express how much. Like I grew up very very sheltered and, not even joking, I thought racism was a thing of the past until I was in my mid-teens. Reading has opened my eyes so much. I’m not saying POC authors should write books to educate white people! But the fact is, I can read these books. I can listen. I can do better.
- That goes for EVERY minority experience.
- Even ones I’m in! Like my experience with, say, autism, isn’t everyone’s experience. So when I read #ownvoices narratives, I learn a lot still.
- ALSO IT’S REFRESHING TO NOT BE STUCK AROUND YOU FOR A WHILE.
- Books are great escapism, we shalt not lie. I’m actually a really shy person and have a resting-glare-face because I’m just suspicious of the world. Then I pick up a book with a really bubbly and dynamic character who EXPLO
DES off the page with sheer shenanigans?! AND I LOVE IT. I want this 1000 x because it’s refreshing and different. - Although that can backfire…I’ve read characters who are very very different personality wise to me and DO – NOT – CONNECT.
- It can literally be such a disconnect that I end up pushing the book to the very edge of the world and being ok if it falls off.
- When I end up disliking a book, I do feel 80% of the reason will be the characters. I didn’t connect. Couldn’t relate. Didn’t like them. And I think this happens more with characters who are opposite to you than similar. It’s like a 50/50 chance of = “will I learn from this experience” or “would i prefer to read about a tub of vegemite than this whining noodle”.
Obviously BOTH is good and we should definitely make sure we read it all!
But if you look at your favourite of ever books…what’s more common?! Relatable characters or ones who are pretty dissimilar to you? Which do you naturally prefer to read about??
This is such an interesting point, and I think the answer is: both. To remember the diversity of human ientities and experience, for a narrative to work there have to be characters that call to us because we share something and characters who compel us because we are so different. and sometimes one character can be both. I think I most enjoy reading characters that are a bit of both, like I can see myself in them in some way but they are different from me so that I am stillmade curious by how they respond to things. LIke I wouldn’t want to read a book about my own life because it would undoubtedly be too familiar to be interesting.
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Yes for sure! Like both is the definite answer, but I guess I wonder what we as readers naturally gravitate to or find ourselves preferring overall? For me, I do think I prefer reading characters who aren’t overly similar to me BUT still relatable!
I tend to read books with large casts of characters, so usually there’s one i mega relate to, and then the rest are pretty different. Yay fantasy!
Oh that’s the awesome part of big casts, right?!
Characters I can’t relate to are why I struggle with first person POV (especially present tense). I think it’s easier to have the experience at one remove, like in third person.
That said, I don’t think I’ve actually read a character who I relate to on a more than superficial level – I’m clearly reading the wrong books.
Got any recs for books with awkward girls with mood swings and perpetual discomfort?
Ohhh that is SO TRUE and I hadn’t really thought much about that. But giving some distance definitely does help, because you don’t feel 100% stuck in the head of someone you really don’t get.😂
i think I read both kind of characters , its good to have relatable characters but sometimes when you read about different characters it is easier to help you forget things that are happening IRL
Absolutely!! And that’s why books are amazingness!
Ooh, I’m not sure which I’d prefer. I mean, if I’m honest, I mostly read fantasy and sci-fi books and the MCs in those are always WAY braver and stronger than I (if I were put in most of these situations, I would just get frustrated, escape into my bedroom, and wait for someone else to solve all the world’s problems, haha), so I guess in a way I like different characters? I have fun reading about what nonsense they get themselves involved in, knowing that I’d be too lazy to do the same?
Wait, no, I know what it is. I like to read about characters that relate to my alter-egos. For instance, I like to read about villains because though in real life I am quite the typical goody two shoe, my go-to character that I create in every game I play is a snarky, intelligent, badass villain who mainly only does things for her own gain. It’s almost like a guilty pleasure thing. I know I shouldn’t like such characters because they’re evil and selfish and all those bad things, but there’s a part of me that embraces it because they’re just so unlike me I can’t help but get a thrill at finding out what they’ll do next. 😈
Yesss, that is ME too.😂I would totally be DONE if I was thrown into a sci-fi/fantasy situation and had to be on the go all the time. Like, no, I need my down time. I need to be away from humans. Let the world burn a while sheesh. (Note to self: Never leave me in charge of saving the world.) 😂 So ultimately I think I pick more characters who aren’t super like me but somehow still relatable?! (And OMG YES I always go for those sorts of villains/anti-heroes too!)
I think my most favourite books are a mix!
I loved Clean by Juno Dawson but the main character Lexi couldn’t be further from em or my experiences, and she’s a total bitch to boot, but I love it!
I Capture The Castle has Cassandra, who grows up in poverty and always dreams about something more, and like, yup, it me. Lucas by Kevin Brooks has Cait who’s kinda on the outside and a bit different and so accepting, and come here for cuddles fellow Hufflepuff.
Excellent post!
Cora | http://www.teapartyprincess.co.uk/
Cora @ Tea Party Princess recently posted…Books On My Autumn 2018 TBR
I love that you have a total mix here! And it’s interesting to think about, right?! Sometimes I think our favourites can also be people we’d LIKE to be too.😂
Great now I’m having this crisis. I honestly don’t know, maybe I like characters that are both relatable and different? Like Percy Jackson; I’m not dyslexic or have web ADHD nor have I been kicked out of several schools. But there’s something of me I still see in Percy. However some of my favorite books this year have been ones that I relate too, such as Starfish by Akemi Dawn Bowman which but so close for me in some parts it was a little uncomfortable. But I certainly don’t dislike characters I don’t relate to, like Rose Hathaway from Vampire Academy is nothing like me yet she’s the best part of the book (I can’t judge the series by because I the god procrastination). I think in the end both are necessary because both make us learn; if you relate to the character you can learn about yourself and that humans aren’t alone and it you don’t relate then you learn about other experiences. I only want to like my characters not relate to all them
I totally think we can relate to a character without totally identifying with them too right?! Like I feel all the things for a lot of the Raven Boys but personality-wise, I’m like none of them.😂 And omg I was the same with Starfish. I saw so much of myself in Kiko. 😭😭💛💛
I also like how you said that: “if you relate to the character you can learn about yourself and that humans aren’t alone and it you don’t relate then you learn about other experiences.” That is like an amazing summary of it!!
I genuinely don’t know which I relate to more considering the majority of my life has been spent consuming Star Wars, LOTR, Warriors Cats, and Redwall books, and, well, the latter two are only characters who are animals but also anthropomorphized in some fashion, and the first two deal with crisis during wars. I’m not sure what that says about me considering all I’ve read from the time I was a wee bairn are books by constant strife, struggle, death, etc. (I promise I’m not a grim reaper.) But these are the things I tend to gravitate toward more–books with hundreds of characters and a million places and OH MY GOSH WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE. I guess I do prefer more plot/world driven books. BUT I DON’T KNOW because Star Wars has some of the most well written characters ever and I will fight people on that (Wraith Squadron, my babies).
The WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE books are great though! Who needs fluff when we can have drama and dEATH. 😂😂
I’m exactly the same! The characters make the book for me. Plots are fine, but if the characters are flat, I will just not be able to follow. I’m reading this book right now (or rather, struggling with it) where the main event happens within the first few pages and nobody bothers to let me get to know the main characters better. Like thirty years of their lives are covered in a few pages. I CAN’T EVEN!! The book lost me right away. It’s a review copy, unfortunately. But I won’t be blogging about it because I’m changing my format and only blogging about books I care about. Still have to finish it for the Goodreads review.
I guess that’s why I know I’ll love all your books! Characters are the best.
I definitely gravitate towards characters who are like me – but I don’t mind rearing about opposites either, that is with the exception that they make some choices that I’m super against. Morally, mostly.
Your points about why one should read about opposites is very good!!
I can so relate about the anxiety. I’m reading a nonfiction book now, a memoir by this woman who is basically me when it comes to worrying. She writes it all SO WELL! Like, it’s like how I’d write it. It’s truly amazing. Makes you feel less alone.
And yes! OMG how I love reading about little Hufflepuffs.
Which reminds me. When I visited England a few weeks ago, in some generic clothes shops they had HP stuff. Which was EXCLUSIVELY for Gryffindors and Slytherins. Me and boyfriend are Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. WE WERE MAD. What kind of housism is this??!?!?!? It’s not that they were sold out either. We went to similar big shops of the same brand and that’s what they had. They didn’t bother to even stock anything for the other two houses -.- I just. I JUST!!!
Now how did I go on such a tangent 😀
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Characters > everything else.😂All the time. I think a book just isn’t worth much if the characters don’t interest us, because how do we get invested?! (Aww that is the BEST COMPLIMENT TO MY BOOKS THOUGH.😘I’m seriously very honoured!)
And definitely with the minority experiences…reading really helps you feel not alone and I DO love that. Like that whole moment of “woah it’s not just me”!? It’s so worth it.
What tho??? How dare they ignore the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws?? Smh. That’s discrimination of the Houses.😭😭
YES YESS YEEESSSSSS, Cait !!!! THIS IS SOOOO RELATABLE <3 I mean, it is always stunning to find characters that are like me because i can see myself in a novel, i can be inspired and see myself reflected in their stories. Of course! Yet i don't think that we people are just one thing, so i've actually seen pieces of me in characters that are my opposites in general terms. For instance, Lila Bard would be my exact opposite xD and yet i've seen so much of myself in her. It's… funny.
THIS POST WAS AMAZING, SWEETIE <3 <3 <3
Kisses!
Ahhh I’m glad you liked the post!! And we basically just need it aLL right?! Choosing is too hard.😂 (Omg I love Lila! I don’t feel like I’m very much like her but I ADORE HER.)
I like both! I can’t decide! It’s cool to read about someone like me because it’s relatable, but I’m really, really boring. I would never want to read a book about me. I like reading about characters who are different from me because they actually do stuff. Like go on awesome adventures.
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Ahhh same. 😂😂I am like SO boring and it’s nice to read and get a break from that sometimes lmao.
If I relate to the character, then I can excuse almost anything in a book.
The character I recently related to the most was Xifeng from Forest of a Thousand Lanterns (and I don’t know if you’ve read it or not, so I won’t say why, but like….that girl is close to my heart. <3)
I very very much want to read it!! I have a library copy so like whyyyy haven’t I yet. WHAT ARE MY LIFE CHOICES.
Wow I love this!! Lately I’ve felt a lot of pressure (and negativity) when it comes to MCs that look like me. I mean obviously looks aren’t the thing that defines a character (or a person!!), and I love reading about diverse characters. But so far, I’ve never read a book with an MC who acts/has values like me, so ig looks and general demeanor are what I latch on to. Personally, I think diversity = everyone. So I think it’s important when reading diverse books to get exposed to as many sides as possible, whether minority or majority. I think both have some wonderful (and not so wonderful) things, and plenty of things to learn!
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I definitely agree we should ALL be reading diverse books and learning about what life is like for different kinds of people. So obviously we just need both characters we relate to vs characters we learn from.😂But I think I gravitate towards ones who are different?! Or who I’d like to be.😂
Exactly! It’s so important to get a lot of perspectives, no matter your skin color, heritage, religion, etc. I love books that include as diverse a cast as possible. I just finished WIldcard by Marie Lu, and loved how she included Asian characters, Hispanic characters, African-American characters, and white characters. I latched on to each of them in a special way. I love books that include as many diverse characters as possible, to give everyone (including the minority) someone who looks like them. 🙂
Also I forgot to say this, but I sooo agree about wanting to escape. Which books have you read with sexism? I’m trying to think of some I’ve read. XD For me personally, it’s more that I’m tired of seeing the same messages all the time. I read Flame in the Mist and 90% of the book was Mariko saying how strong she was and how she didn’t need a man and it bugged me. I was like, I’m here to read an awesome story!! And it just kind of ruined the book for me.
As a writer, I love being able to explore different sides of things. I obviously don’t want to misrepresent anyone (which is why I like #ownvoices) but I think it’s important for me to learn about other people and include them in my stories. I’m planning a novel about a white girl in a prominently black community and the struggles and challenges she faces. It’s going to take a lot of work and research, but I enjoy being able to share different perspectives. Being a writer is awesome! 🙂
Thanks again for this post, Cait!
*sorry, I meant including the majority. XD
I mean…which books HAVEN’T I read with rampant sexism. 😭 I would struggle to list enough to tick off on one hand…
Oooh, I love all your points here! At first, I was like, well, of course I read about characters that aren’t anything like me because I like ninjas and assassins and epic fights, and I am … not graceful. Also, not a serial killer, despite what my search history seems to imply, okay?
But you made some really good points! I remember reading Animorphs when I was a wee little girl and Cassie was the first little brown girl I ever remember reading about. And I was like OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME AND SHE LOVES ANIMALS AND THIS IS SO AMAZING! Then, I related more to Rachel and fell in love with Tobias, and eventually, I decided I’d just rather marry Ax, and Cassie was pushed to the side, but that’s not the point.
There are definitely benefits to both sides of this, and I love that there’s the choice? I think I read a pretty good mix of characters I can relate to and just plain new experiences, so it keeps things interesting.
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So truuuue.😂Like I ADORE heist books but I have not yet stolen, um, anything.😂So it’s really good to do the whole “live a thousand lives” thing! But on the flipside, it’s so reassuring to read a book where the character is so much like you! I’m so glad you found that in Animorphs when you were younger!!
This is such an interesting discussion, Cait, I love it! I think that there has to be a little bit of both in my reading experience. I love it when I find a character I can relate to, in some way, whether it’s from their life experience, the way they think, things like that. It makes me so happy and it makes me feel less alone at a time, too, and I feel like I connect with a book so much more because of that. But, like you said, sometimes I just want to get away and it feels great to read about some badass character I can’t and will never be… well, I love it too haha and I feel like we can learn so much from that, too.
Fantastic post! <3
Aww thank you, Marie!! And I do think relating, even in a tiny way, to a character is pretty important. Like it can even be their motivation that connects to us instead of their personality.
I completely agree with you about characters being the most important part of the book. I’ve read books that have literally made me consider ripping the pages out and setting it on fire because the plot is sucky, but I’ve stopped because the characters are AMAZING (whyyyy must you do this to us authors???) I find it the same with movies. Characters will either make it or break it.
While I LOVE reading about characters that are super relatable to me (yaaaas for reading about characters with severe anxiety that have been portrayed accurately, I LIVE for relating to those characters), I do get annoyed at reading so many characters that are like me because I get so fed up of myself, haha. I do love diving into a brand new world with a MC who is the complete opposite of me. But you also touch on a great point about how you gain empathy for things you’ve never experienced, which is exactly what I took from The Hate U Give, as one example. Books have the power to educate us, to make us feel things that other sources of media may not be able to do as well, and to make us feel so many emotions, which is the exact reason I love reading so much.
Oh so so agree. I think one of the best things about books is how much they can teach us, even if that wasn’t the author’s total purpose in writing it, it still really changes us and the world! I loved THUG for that too. (The movie afjdklsad I can’t wait too.) And so basically we need both types of reads. 😂
I think reading about characters who seem very different to me at first glance helps me understand that actually, we all do have a lot in common. I’ll be reading about someone who’s totally different to me, but then they’ll say one thing and I’ll be like “I say that too!”
Too exactly like me would be boring, I never went on an epic adventure or saved the world while in school. I never even had a boyfriend! I went to school, and I went to my part-time job. I went out with friends, played videogames and read books. That was my life. But some similarities are nice, they help me relate to a character. But even then, I personally love reading about people who are very different from me, because I’ve learnt a lot through that!
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This so much too!! I really enjoy just living from a different perspective for 300+ pages. It’s amazing and totally that whole “a reader lives a thousand lives”, which is GREAT. 😍
I AGREE WITH IT ALL. That’s not a very great comment when it comes to discussion but it’s TRUE. I really like reading #ownvoices books about characters with anxiety or depression because it makes me feel understood and that’s SUCH a nice feeling. But then I also totally get that thing where you just want to ESCAPE from like sexism. It’s the main reason why I don’t want to watch The Handmaid’s Tale. Women get enough BS in real life, why should I also have to deal with in the entertainment I consume? I mean, it’s not like I don’t want to watch anything about sexism, but the cruel stuff in THT is just too far for me. Give me Supernatural with its demons and ghosts and angels, or New Girl with its funny and I’ll be good.
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And I am in total agreement with you comment.😂Like sometimes we just want to ESCAPE right?! This is why it peeves me when fantasy can give us dragons but not equality. Like, gah, I get enough of sexism everyday so let’s have a world where a girl’s plotline isn’t JUST proving she’s a human!? Pls. 😭😭
Ooooh this is such a hard decision!!! But I think I like to read more about characters who are mostly like me, but with a quality that makes me want to be better: kinder, wiser, snarkier, braver, etc. I really think it helps improve my life!! 😄😄
On the other hand, I’m occasionally drawn to characters who are completely unlike me, because they’re so interesting and different!! And so I love that reading gives me that huge range of characters to love!!
Fabulous post!!
Aww yes it’s nice to look up to characters too and be all like “yess I want to be like that”.😂
Ooooh this is such an interesting post! I literally love characters who are relateable because I can read their reactions to weird situations and be like AAARGH I WOULD DO EXACTLY THE SAME THING WE’RE LIKE TWINS! But I also love characters who are super different, not just from me but from anyone else. Little gems who are completely their own person and unlike anyone I’ve ever met or read about is always so interesting and can be a HUGE learning curve, especially with #ownvoices books – I’ve learned so much about so many different things from these stories!
Gorgeous post Hun this was so much fun to read as always! x
Grace Louise || http://www.gracelouiseofficial.blogspot.co.uk/
Yes SO true! I especially love #ownvoices stories for that…like that chance to gain knowledge from someone who wants to share their perspective is incredibly amazing!! But I also like that moment of “omg I would be exactly like that” when reading too.😂
Okay, so how is legal for you to be this funny? I can’t even get over how engaging, wonderful, and just completely entertaining your posts are! I really liked the topic of this one too because it got me to think about why I like the characters that I do. Is it because I connect with them, or for some other nebulous reason? *brain explodes from too much thinking* Anyways, thanks again for an AMAZING read 🙂
THIS COMMENT MAKES ME SMILE THE MOST. YOU ARE SO KIND. 😍😍😍And there are so many potential answers for this question right?! I kind of love that my favourite characters are a mix of “I relate” and “omg you’re so different and it’s awesome” which is probably a good balance. 😂
I feel like I’m fairly boring, so I suppose I prefer reading about people who aren’t like me!
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Pretty much how I feel too.😂😂
I’m so torn on whether I like relating to characters because sometimes when I do relate to a character I also get really annoyed by them and just think “child, get a grip” and then other times I won’t relate to a character at all and really like them. But then the complete opposite is true and I can’t relate to a character at all and just can’t deal with them. Like, almost every review of Radio Silence I read said that they could totally relate to the main character but I just couldn’t?? It’s great that so many people could relate, but I just couldn’t for some reason.
I guess if I had to choose I’d rather read characters who are completely different to me because I really like escapist books that make me forget about things that are going on. Plus, I think that a character based on me would be the most boring and annoying character ever 😂
Saaaame for sure. Sometimes I look at my favourites and am like: “I have zero in common with you but I love you so much.” Like Kaz Brekker or Ronan Lynch?! NOTHING IN COMMON but they’re my favourites. I am so much strangeness.😂 (I related more to Aled in Radio Silence than Frances, tbh.) And I think it’s the escapism and just that whole chance to “live another life” that is really marvellous.
Wow, this post got me thinking!!
So for me . . . my favorite books of all time . . . I’m actually shocked by HOW MANY of them have characters who are very, very, very similar to me. And it’s not often that I read books where the main characters are super similar to me!! (really shy & introverted & anxious & nerdy) But when I DO, apparently, that book skyrockets to the top tier of my “favorites” list. Like Fangirl. Which may now be my Actual Favorite Novel of All Time. Not only because it’s sooooooooooooooo well written and cozy and beautiful, but because Cath is like the fictional version of me. <3
Ohhh I loved Cath and like the first thought I had when reading it was, “WOW FINALLY SOMEONE I CONNECT TO” and that was so special?! But other of my favourites are so wildly different to me, because I guess it’s refreshing to be someone else for a while too.😂 (Also this makes me want to reread Fangirl!)
I’m rereading it now & it’s just the best 😀 😀 😀
CHARACTERS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME. I AGREE WITH THAT 100%.
I feel like I am drawn to a wide range of characters though, Some of them are like me and some of them are SO NOT. I think what’s important is that I CONNECT to a character. I used to be super confused and I was like “How do I relate to Ender Wiggin AND Jo March because they’re nothing like each other and neither of them are really like me???” But it wasn’t really that I related to them exactly, I just connected with them. I like to read about a wide variety of humans because I want to connect with as many types of humans as possible. I have this idea that the more I gain understanding and connection through reading the better I will be at connecting to actual humans.
Great post!
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I totally agree! Like most of my favourite characters are NOTHING like me, but sometimes who I’d like to become. 😂But other times I just enjoy their wild differences for a chance to be someone else for a while. And sometimes it’s not their personality we relate to, but like, their dreams or motivations, right?
Also a good writer should mostly be able to make us empathise with a character even if we don’t relate to their lives!
Hmmm, this is a hard question that I don’t think I can answer properly. I just did a mental rundown of books that I like and I think I lean towards characters who are dissimilar to me. I mean some of these characters are just teens but they’ve already gone places, or been through a lot emotionally or committed heists and even murder! I mean, how can I compete with that, I am just a barnacle who lives under a rock and has a very limited life experience?! And then they sound so smart, they banter and they are funny and I am not those things. And then they got their goals in life despite obstacles and I am just the cheering reader shedding happy tears for their success. There is this video essay that I’ve watched and agreed on saying that the character’s motivations are more important that the character’s relatability. So yeah I think I’d rather read about a very motivated evil incarnate than a cinnamon roll who wanders the plot aimlessly.
I also love learning from books and I think I learn more from characters who are not like me. I am quiet and soft-spoken IRL so I like sassy heroines who smash patriarchy with their witty comebacks. Before, I am somewhat timid when I encounter everyday sexism but now because of all these characters that I’ve read about, I think I am more equipped on dealing with those kind of vile things.
It’s the heists that get me *shakes head sadly* I mean I’ve clearly done NOTHING with my life here.😂 (Just kidding…I enjoy, um, a life out of jail.😂) But yes I do tend to gravitate towards the books where I think “wow they’re cool” and also coincidentally nothing like me. Haha. And sometimes it’s a bit of just getting a chance to “live” with a different personality for a while which is nice? I’m VERY quiet too and often like the sassy loud characters a lot.
(Also agreed that books give us tools for living too. They’re never just escapism!)
I think I’m more likely to LOVE characters who are in some way similar to me, because it does make it easier to relate, but I do like reading about characters who have had different experiences as well, so I think it’s all about getting a balance!
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Definitely about the balance.😂I mean, we want relatablity but we want to expand our perspectives too!
Oh of course! It would be boring reading about people who are exactly the same as me all the time!
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I do love to find relatability in books. But I think I do tend to gravitate toward characters that are more or less my opposite. Couldn’t tell you why. Just my favorite characters are people not too much like me. Unless I really am an egomaniac….
But that’s fair too! It’s like getting a different perspective!
This post came at such a right time!
I’m reading I was Born For This and Angel is lITERALLy me during my early teenage years as a One Direction fan–except for the shipping band members together, though at the same time Jimmy’s anxiety and general headspace feels like looking into a mirror…and for this reason this book, I think, will always be one of those things that I’ll treasure for a long, long time.
Being part of a minority (not where I live-i’m surrounded by people like me in terms of religion, race, etc) but I almost NEVER see them in YA books-Muslims that is. Even when they are there, they’re misrepresented *glares at Paper and Fire*
And seeing basically myself in a character feels so. SO good. It makes you feel understood-sometimes when irl people might not make you feel that way, y’know? even if they do care, and try to.
But at the same time, reading about someone who is wildly different from me feels great too. I remember reading from a villain’s perspective in this Marie Lu book and I could see both sides clearly–the villain, why she viewed herself like she was in the right, and the rest of the cast, why they were against her. The dual perspective without actually reading from another pov like that was pretty cool.
YES!!! IT WOULD BE SO GREAT IF SEXISM IN BOOKS JUST!! S T O P P E D ! !
Honestly I’m not sure which one I prefer. Like reading about Muslim characters all the time would make me feel like my perspective was very narrow, and reading just characters who are a bundle of anxious nerves will probably destro my mind, I think.
I love reading logical, clear thinking characters who are very focused and try to figure things out. I love reading characters who are confused and don’t know what they’re doing. I love reading SASSY characters, as long as they’re not annoying me. they’re often annoying other people in the book itself though, and I find that hilarious.
Honestly, if a character just feels like a real life person and I can stand them and there is something that feels real about them, it’s great. I loved all the characters in The Infernal Devices–Tessa and Sophie and Charlotte and Will and Gem and Gideon and Gabrielle, and Henry, even though all of their personalities were so, so different.
It’s alot about the writers’ skill too, whether you end up enjoying the characters and their story. They need to be dynamic and have SOME sort of growth by the end, y’know? The writer has to choose a group of characters whose personalities contrast and compliment each other in a really good way.
In conclusions: READ EVERYTHING! lol
THIS IS A GREAT COMMENT AND I LOVE ALL THE THINGS YOU’VE SAID HERE!! I totally agree, too, like sometimes it’s exhausting to read things that we experience too? Like I have super super intense anxiety and reading Turtles All The Way Down was like “yeah I connect to this” BUT it also pretty much gave me a panic attack.😂So I can understand like how that might be for you a bit with it feeling different to read your anxiety being repped vs your religion. And I’m SO glad I Was Born For This really connected with you!! I loved it ajfskdla and Jimmy was so sad and precious and Angel was just THE BEST.
(Also wouldn’t it be nice if like fantasy books could imagine worlds without sexism?! *eye roll* I can’t believe we can have dragons but not equality.)
And absolutely it is about the writing too! Like I have authors who I’ll have 0% in common with their characters, but I still super love the books because of the excellent storytelling!
RIGHT!! <3
Yeah, I like both. When I find a character that is basically reading my mind and saying what’s in there {Hello Nathan in I Have Lost My Way!}, it helps me to feel that I am not alone, because obviously someone else is out there who feels this way. On the flip side, when a character is in a situation I’ve never experienced or comes from a background different from mine, I learn so much. I just love a well-written character, whether they’re like me or not.
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Exactly! We need both for this exact reason.
I’m good with both and any other options that are out there! (Ha, story of my life.) I will say that I usually find *something* relatable about a character – but that is because I’m painfully empathetic and tend to love everybody (even people I hate,)
Also, reading Something Beautiful by Amanda Gernentz Hanson which has a depressed girl and a Sexually Fluid boy didn’t make me cry… I was just reading upside down so my eyes were watering *shifty glances*
I’ve used books, for a v. long time, to understand my own self and how I react to things. Like, I get that a lot of people use reading as escapism – that’s awesomeness 🙂 – but I use it to understand reality. 🙂
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Being really empathetic is a good thing! I kind of am…not super empathetic 😂 unless it’s a dog. Then wOW HOLD MY SANDWICH I will absolutely do anything for some random dog. Ahem. But like I don’t feel I need to identify 100% with a character’s life, I think it’s how their emotions can be relayed or their motivations for doing something?
I’m SURE your eyes were just water a little. Allergies, right? :’)
Yeah, but dogs are fluffy and cute, so, like, why wouldn’t you? Also, cats are awesome. Just saying.
IT WAS THE GRAVITY PULLING THE WATER OUT OF MY EYES.
(You are always a bad influence on me with the ALL CAPS.)
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Ooh, very interestng thoughts! I agree 20000% that characters are the most important part of any story. It made me think about the way I (and others) write characters, too. Obviously there is always some part of an author in every character they write, but I am a super nosy reader, so I often wonder how much of a character is like the author!😶
Also, WHEN YOU DROP YOUR TOAST JAM-SIDE-DOWN AND ALL YOUR LIFE’S WORK IS MEANINGLESS? Relatable content.😂
I’m the same though! Like all my characters are really different and yet I always feel I’ve left pieces of myself in every book. (This is why writing is HARD. You have to be so vulnerable!)
Omgggg what is it with toast and completely hating us.
Honestly, I feel both of these lists. Because I like reading from both sides. I think the thing that matters most to me is that a character is fleshed out and seems relatable even if I can’t exactly relate. The characters I get annoyed with on either end are characters whose motives I just can’t understand. Like, they have one trait and purely act on it, or do every stupid thing possible. As long as the character is a thinking, multifaceted human I usually have no issues.
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Both is always the answer right!? 😂😂 And I totally agree with this too…like I need something to relate to or I can’t connect. And it can even just be the tiniest thing, like understanding their motive really well or something, but it HAS to be there.
I prefer characters who are like me. It makes me feel like I’m the one experiencing the story. My life is not so exciting, that’s probably why. 😂
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I love that feeling of really feeling IN the story too!
A bit of both? I guess. Personally, I would prefer to read characters that are more like me? But I do tend to like some that are blunt. Like Bliss from I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman. I tend to relate more to characters like Lara jean, Kiko from Starfish and maybe Harriet Manners? And a little bit of June from Tiny Pretty Things.
I can also probably relate to a morally grey character like Kaz Brekker? Since he’s kinda quiet and just wants people to shut up. I CAN RELATE. I just need to read more, to be honest. I’m still a bit lost about my reading tastes *shrugs*
Omg Kiko was amazing, and Lara Jean too I definitely related to with her love of home and cookies and soft and quiet lifeness. *cries happy tears for these books* But like even with the ones who are WILDLY different from us, there can still be a little something to relate to! Like Kaz.😂
I think when i look at the books I read I tend to gravitate more towards characters that are different from me. One of the reasons I avoid contemporary and mental health a lot is that I don’t always want to be confronted by parts of me. Being me is hard enough without that already haha.
Great post.
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I think so too, tbh. And sometimes it’s actually nice to get a break from people “like us”?! Books about anxiety just amp up MY anxiety so I tend to avoid them.😂
When I read the title I literally yelled “both is good!” and then I see it in the actual post and I understand why we get along so well 😂 But yeah, variety all the way! I mean, I don’t need to read about a moderately dramatic overanxious white girl on the regular, you know? I need MORE. All KINDS of people! Honestly, I feel like books have helped me grow and learn SO MUCH. Like- since I was an actual person of the young adult demographic, things have changed. About a million percent for the better. If there was diversity in the books I read, it was either tokenism, or stereotypes, but actual decent representation of basically anyone was rare. (Hell, young adult books themselves were basically unicorns- and I am not *that* old so it should really say something.)
Now, I feel like I get to “meet” so many different kinds of people, and learn SO much. And I know it is nowhere NEAR where we need to be, but the progress is definitely awesome- and I can’t wait until there is an even bigger pool of diverse characters to choose from to read about!
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😂😂 It’s like, why have a restful chill life, when we can ask qUESTIONS THAT STRESS US OUT AND REALLY DON’T MATTER. *self-five* But I agree, I more end up loving characters who AREN’T super similar to me, in personality at least.😂 (Also I didn’t really start reading YA properly until I was like 16 and woooah am I mad about that now, because it’s changed and helped me grow SO MUCH having access to these amazing books. Diversity is the best though. AHH.)
I had fun reading this! 🙂
I agree, a bit of both is nice. Maybe sometimes I just like reading about people more confident and outgoing than I am, because characters like that can drive the plot somewhere (which I doubt I would ever do… I would ignore the plot and go sit down somewhere and read a book… which is boring. Obviously. Like me.)
But’s also nice to recognise your experiences in someone else’s work too.
🙂
Thanks for an interesting post!
Exactly, right?! It’s fun to read both but since I am THE most boring person ever 😂 I do very much enjoy reading about characters who aren’t like me so I can flail over them!
I feel like I lean more toward characters I can relate to. I love characters who are introverted and awkward because that’s me. xD But at the same time, characters who are different from me ARE refreshing and fun. So while I connect on a deeper level with those I can relate to, the ones I can’t relate to I can appreciate for their different traits and attitudes.
Dude, I just love characters. Thinking about people’s quirks and personalities and how we can actually use those things to create people in our books? It’s super awesome. (And just thinking about it kinda makes me want to go write.)
Yesss CHARACTERS THOUGH. It’s just so interesting to like be in someone else’s POV for a while, if they’re similar or even super different to us. And I have so many feelings for characters I relate a lot to, even if it’s not personality wise, but just like their wants or quirks.
I like reading a mix, it’s always nice to have at least one character I can relate to in a book though. I am with you on characters being my main love – I can overlook plot issues if I love the characters.
Characters over everything else for sure! Like books have to make us truly CARE right?!
Oooh, this is such a hard question because I want to say both, of course. But I guess if I HAVE to choose one, I’ll say characters who are different from me because I just think it’s SO valuable to see the world from other perspectives.
Yess! I agree! I just love that moment of living life as someone else for a while. 😍
I definitely love a lot of characters that are different than I am, and I think with a talented author the reader should be able to find a way to understand and/or empathize with the characters. That being said, I also love seeing characters I can see myself in because then I don’t feel alone in my way of thinking but I would say that I generally end up loving characters that are very different from who I am.
Great post, thanks for sharing!
~Brittany @ Brittany’s Book Rambles
Oh absolutely! Like empathising with a character doesn’t have to mean our personalities match or compliment each other. It can just be good solid writing and really connecting to their motives or something. (Although like I’d consider some authors SUPER talented at doing this and some people would still rate them 1 star. 😂 So it’s always going to be so subjective!)
I like to alternate between reading about characters who are similar to me and ones who are different. It’s nice to switch between the two so it doesn’t become too much.
I especially like reading about people who get themselves into awkward situations, so I can learn how they get out of it (and get some advice!).
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Yes exactly! I think we can’t really live without both?! But it’s interesting to see what we naturally gravitate to!
As someone who doesn’t read much of fantasy or sci-fi, after reading your post I realized I generally go for books with chracters I can relate to. I never thought of it that way, but thanks to your post now I do. Now I can consciously take an effort to read more off my comfort zone!
Aww, only if you want though! I think it’s important to also read books we like.😂
As a child, I always gravitated to books that allowed me to escape into the life I wanted. I may have wanted to be the girl who got a huge makeover and had the best life (Princess diaries, let me telll youu). I think it’s part of when you’re growing up and you’re so totally unsure of who you are as a person.
And right now, in my early 20s, I’m looking at books with relatable characters. Just started We Are Okay By Nina LaCour and it features a protagonist who is spending her vacation alone in her dorms being super lonely and I went through that experience once and it wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be.
So yeah, a mix of both 🙂
Ohh I totally get that with the age thing too! Like I think we tend to read characters who we also WANT to be like as well, especially when we’re younger. But even now I still like to read characters who give me new experiences vs ones I can go “wow yep I relate”.😂
This is a very interesting discussion. I agree with you, since I’m also an incredibly character driven person, if I can’t connect or relate to a character I might dislike the book. Characters do it for me. If I don’t like them, there’s a 90% chance I won’t like the story.
However, it’s not always about not connecting with them, it’s more about me not liking the. Their attituted, decisions, personality traits… they might different from me OR I might recognize some aspect about myself that I don’t like on said character that motivates me to do better in my day to day life to not follow the same path the character does. One thing is clear though, if I don’t LIKE them, chances are I won’t enjoy the story either.
I also think that a lot of times, characters that are completely different from me can be incredibly interesting even if they aren’t likeable but they have to have something that grips me or intrigues me.
Yes absolutely! I think “relating” to a character can often be to their thoughts/feelings, instead of actually their circumstances. Because I mean, most of us won’t relate to a character riding a dragon or whatever, but it goes deeper than that. And I LOVE when the characters drive the plot. They are the #1 thing for me!
I think I like both kinda books – those with characters I can relate to, and those I don’t. Sometimes, I think it’s possible to connect with characters I can’t relate to too – simply due to how realistic they’re written (and how lovable they may be 😆💕). And you’re right, reading about other peoples’ perspectives & experiences does help us to grow empathy. 💯 That’s why it’s important to different kind of books. 📚
Awesome blog btw! 😉
Absolutely! I think we need ALL types of books to read and a well-written book can help us relate no matter what the characters’ life is like.
I think a little of both!
But I think that a lot of characters might have a little of both in them. They might share some characteristics with us, but then they will be completely different in other ways.
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Yes! It’s good to have the balance of both for sure.😂
I’m either one extreme or the other! Half the time I need to read books with characters just like me but also sometimes it’s painful and I need a break or its painful and cathartic!
But I also love reading about people different from me with different experiences.
I read to learn, first and foremost. I want to avoid being an ignorant idiot who says the wrong thing.
I want to do the right things because I don’t ever want to cause other people pain, and the best way to make sure of that is to read about life from other people’s perspective and really listen to what people have to say about their lived experiences instead of brushing it off as ‘it can’t be that bad’! I might not be able to understand 100% what life is like for them but I can at least try to be empathetic and listen and ensure I don’t add to any kind of discrimination they might face for being themselves and just existing.
I wholeheartedly believe that being a reader can make people be more empathetic as well! Might not be the case for everyone but I know that reading has helped me understand far more than I would have if I had not read books with diverse characters.
Omg I so agree. I’ve learned so much from books and grown a lot and moved away from a lot of ignorant thinking that I used to have. I think it’s frustrating when people cling to the “well I didn’t KNOW not to say/act/think like that about certain types of people!” when we live in a society full of freely given knowledge. Go read a book! Go read some internet articles! It’s so important to be well read and empathetic. (And completely agree that reading makes you empathetic. It’s such a good study in “living life as someone else” for a while. I’ve pulled myself up thinking judgy stuff about people before and been like: “ok if this was a book, they’d have reasons for what they’re doing.” It’s important to think about it from all angles!)
Yes both type of characters are great!
A couple of days ago I would have said relatable characters are the best but this weekend I was reading a book where the character was so much like me, her life was pretty much like mine and it was super depressing and then I got triggered so I had to leave the book.
On the other hand her best friend was this cheery talkative ball of stardust that I did not like because I definitely could not relate like humans like her exist???
I guess my favourite type of characters who are different from me but have a few similar aspects. Case in point Magnus Bane who is sassy, glittery and so bold unlike me but he’s also such a deep thinker and like feels so much so I relate. (At this point I have merged the personalities of book and show Magnus and also maybe fanfiction Magnus 😛)