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“I Should Have Read That Book” Tag (Ft. My TBR Screaming Bloodily At Me)

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The truest irony of the book blogger life is that I often spend so much time talking about reading that I don’t…have time…to read.

Hence my TBR is screaming bloodily at me at all times and I’m just sort of tiptoeing around it because it’s about to overbalance and flatten me. Just the good ol’ regular bookworm workplace risks, ya know? It’s fine. I’m sure it’s FINE.

I do feel guilty though. I probably shouldn’t? Reading (and blogging and reviewing!!!) is all my choice and a good deal of it is just for fun. (A very tidy sliver of my blogging purpose, however, is also to subtly flop all over your lives until you get sick of me and buy my books just to shut me up. #Marketing) So if it’s for fun, then I shouldn’t feel guilty for being behind, right?!

Meanwhile, My brain: …gUILT TRIP INCOMING ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Regardless.😑I do have a lot of books I want to read and I’m somehow going to motivate myself to get to it by telling you what they are. 

Here we are with the “I Should have Read That Book” tag!

created by Book Nest! And I was tagged by Jo! (Thank yoooou) 😘

Open For RULES AND QUESTIONS to use on your own blog!

Rules:

Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their post
Link to the creator’s blog (booksnest.co.uk) in your post
Answer the questions below
Tag 10 others to take part
ENJOY THE TAG!

The Questions

  • A book that a certain friend is always telling you to read 
  • A book that’s been on your TBR forever and yet you still haven’t picked it up
  • A book in a series you’ve started, but haven’t gotten round to finishing yet
  • A classic you’ve always liked the sound of, but never actually read
  • A popular book that it seems everyone but you has read
  • A book that inspired a film/TV adaptation that you really love, but you just haven’t read it yet 
  • A book you see all over Instagram but haven’t picked up yet

➢ A book that a certain friend is always telling you to read

My struggle with this question is that I never…remember…anything. Look you could tell me every day for a  YEAR to read a book and then take a break for a few weeks. I will forget.🤗If you need confirmation about this, pls ask @shewritesaboutbooks. She will happily confirm and complain about me.

So like I’m only vaguely aware of people recommending me books specifically. But I do feel like the whole blogosphere has been wildly recommending Night Circus forEVER. And I just found a $1 copy at an op-shop!! Clearly it is meant to be. And I shall read it [checks watch] between 2 weeks to 2 years.

 

➢  A book that’s been on your TBR forever and yet you still haven’t picked it up

Ugh SO MANY it’s terrifying. I actually was just rearranging my bookshelves this week and came to the wonderful conclusion that if I put my TBR on my desk — I will 100% forget about it. (Cue the Oct 2018 ARC yelling at me.) 😬

I’ll nominate The Glass Spare and Bridge of Clay for (ahha haha sob) being neglected ARCs. But I’ve also had Wolf by Wolf (2015) on my TBR forever. Also The Song of Achilles (2011). And eh why not self-burn me — More Happy Than Not too. I LOVE Adam Silvera books and I have noooo reason to not have read this yet. 😭Except for me, being, dysfunctionaaaaaaal.

 

➢ A book in a series you’ve started, but haven’t gotten round to finishing yet

Ok this is the Iron Fey series 👀Mind you I only actually started it last year, despite it being like 10 years old. But I’m mad at me because I really enjoyed the first two, devoured them in a week, and I own the next 4 but have I read them???? NO. Why? I DON’T KNOW, DON’T ASK ME THESE THINGS.

 

➢ A classic you’ve always liked the sound of, but never actually read

Sometimes people say “classic novel” and I develop 18th century pneumonia and cough up a lung and go die at sea to get away from it all.

Ok FINE. I have read many classics in my time, mostly the children’s ones like Treasure Island, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Five Little Peppers, etc…. But if you made me read another classic I might try a Bronte book?! I don’t even know what they’re called without googling lmao. Or wasn’t there a writer who locked herself in her attic and never came out? A poet? 🤔 Big mood. I should read from her.

➢ A popular book that it seems everyone but you has read

Right now it feels that way about We Hunt The Flame, Sorcery of Thorns, Godsgrave, and The Poppy War. And okay fine, again I have no real excuse. But look. Just look. I have to fit a great many things into my day. One is napping while my dog snuggles in my arms and the second is meticulously putting together a plan that will get me to be a bestseller so I can finally buy a castle. (This is why my Hufflepuff and Slytherin sides are constantly at war ok.)

I also haven’t read all of the million SJM books but I do not plan to. 😂

 

➢ A book that inspired a film/TV adaptation that you really love, but you just haven’t read it yet 

I never read the LOTR books. OKAY WAIT! I tried! I read The Fellowship and thought I might die. But I also really love those Lizzie Bennet Diaries youtube series! Does that count?! It’s an adaption. They’re HYSTERICAL and I love them and…I’ve never read Pride and Prejudice. Not even the zombie version, which is frankly disappointing of me. (I’ve read like 4 P&P retellings of it though??? Pls read the original, C.G., you chaotic terror.)

 

➢ A book you see all over Instagram but haven’t picked up yet

I just want and scrolled my instagram for inspiration for this haha.

So Shadow Of The Fox for sure is one! I think the sequel recently released?? So everyone is like “LOOK AT THIS GOOD AND PRETTY BOOK” and I’m buried too deep under my TBR to even get a peek. I do own it though. I take lots of pictures of it. 10/10 for likelihood to love. 0/10 for my life organisational skills.

 

more 2019 New Releases I Need to (Desperately) Read

| what do you think?|

tell me a book you should’ve read by now?! 👀 are you chronically behind on your tbr? and do yell at me if i’ve mentioned a book here that i should hurry up and prioritise!!! i’ll try!

 

Mid Year Book Freak Out Tag (Ft. New Favourites And General Soft Screaming…Seems Fine!!!!)

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You know how sometimes you look at your books and you just…scream? Yes me too.🤗

Better yet, we’ve got a tag for that!

It’s time for the…

But first I have to do the obligatory side-eye at the fact it is June and I don’t recall expressly giving permission for that to happen. I am a disaster of chaos this year and feel like I’ve achieved only T W O things, being (1) I survived the release of my second novel The Boy Who Steals Houses, and (2) I took many naps. An accomplished life I am living here.

 

If we’re being honest, this year has been a bit of a mess for me.

I’m not blogging as much which I’m so ashamed about?! Like I used to be this steadfast regular blogger, and what am I now?!? Some sort of limp CUSTARD SAUCE. But the author life has been going not well + I moved house (extremely stressful) + my mental health looks a lot like a feral cat that got hit by a car. Twice. (You’re welcome for that visual.😌)

But.

I have had a lot of satisfyingly good reads! My bookshelf set up is the BEST it’s ever been. I’ve started working for MTMC Tours and getting a few more freelance blogging gigs which meeeeeans — I CAN BUY MORE BOOKS. Which is the pinnacle of a good life for me. And I just have some really really good friends. 😭💛 They make me cry i love them so much. So shout out to internet friends who are the true national treasures, ok?! I would share cakes with you if I could but I CAN’T. So guess I’ll eat the cakes myself.

 

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Open Here To Grab The Tag Questions For Your Own Blog
Note: I’ve used a few different ones and made up some haha. But these are the original questions:

1. Best book you’ve read so far in 2019
2. Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2019
3. New release you haven’t read yet, but want to
4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year
5. Biggest disappointment
6. Biggest surprise
7. Favorite new author (debut or new to you)
8. Newest fictional crush
9. Newest favorite character
10. Book that made you cry
11. Book that made you happy
12. Most beautiful book you’ve bought so far this year (or received)
13.What books do you need to read by the end of the year?
14. Favorite book community member

1. HOW MUCH HAVE YOU READ?

95! And a…uh…little ashamed because every year it seems I read less and less aND WHO AM I if I don’t read 200+ books a year?!  An undercooked eggplant??? [insert crisis here]

I need to stop pressuring myself with the reading and, as an overachiever, that’s easier said than done. 😫 But I’m attempting to finish off this year and then maybe chill out next year with a lower goal.

2. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN READING?

I actually added this question in because I need a chance to make pie charts. Shh. This is a need.

i’m actually really shocked at the amount of epic fantasy I’ve read (aka the genre I keep avoiding because my brain is tired loool) and LOOK at all these high star ratings!! 🙌🏻 I don’t do negative reviews anymore so I’m way pickier about what I read so I don’t get stuck with myriads of unreviewed books.

 

3. Best book you’ve read so far in 2019

I always make a “best of the year” shelf on Goodreads and so far I have SIX books on it. Which I’m pretty happy about.

Will softly scream how much I love and recommend them. But shout out, specifically, to RW&RB because it’s not my genre (adult romcom?!) but I laughed so much and then directly after wanted to cry — so it is a solid piece of masterful writing.

 

4. Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2019

Look I’m actually giving this to Finale because FREAKING YES. I feel bad because I’ve read Holly Black and Cassandra Clare sequels this year (and loved them extraordinarily) but I’m still obsessing over Finale 😫💛 So I must say it. The actual existence of Dante and Tella is a gift to my soul. Also I want to write this beautifully someday?!

 

5. New release you haven’t read yet, but want to

erm, just about…all of them?! I am SO behind this year, it’s not even funny. I say this every year, but no no, all those other years were lies. THIS year I am so behind. My TBR is honestly about to beat me up in a back alley.

6. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

Without a DOUBT it is Call Down the Hawk and Queen of Nothing!!!!!!!! There aren’t enough exclamation marks for how I feel about this omg. And I’m secretly so nervous about CDTH because The Raven Cycle means everything to me and…I just hope it is everything I’m longing for. 😭💛

 

 

7. Biggest disappointment

Ok not that this is a book (but it kind of counts since it’s a book adaption) but this goes to GAME OF FREAKING THRONES. Argh. If you get me started, I can angry rant for hours. Absolutely hours. I’m still procrastinating the last episodes (I got spoiled anyway because the internet is the worst) because it’s just sloppy storytelling, boring plots, horrendous attention to detail and STUPID. THE WHOLE SHOW JUST WENT SO STUPID AFTER IT USED TO BE AMAZING.

ARGH.

8. Biggest surprise

I really didn’t know what I’d think of The Brilliant Death. I just sort of picked it up because hi Italian-esque mafia family fantasy with genderfluid narrators — ok let’s have a go. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Anyway skip on into the future and there is ME. TODAY. OBSESSED.

 

 

 

9. New Favourite author (debut or new to you)

*flaps hand vaguely at this book* ARGH when I tell you Red White & Royal Blue is so funny I coughed up a lung laughing over it — just take my word for it. Also it’s very queer and very about selfworth, also, and about not being afraid to say you deserve to prioritize your heart. And it’s about not putting turkeys in your bedroom. Literal, actual turkeys. Don’t do it.

Also Casey McQuiston keeps teasing that they’re writing more books and I will take all the more books thank you.

Note: this book IS adult lit and does have explicit scenes!

 

10. underrated gems you’ve discovered recently

It’s so easy to just focus on the hyped books and tbh this year I’ve not been reading as many hidden gems…which saddens me?! As owner of The Boy Who Steals Houses which didn’t get much of a publicity push this year (I triiiied, but I was by myself lol), I keep wanting to point wildly at the smaller books that need more love!! So THESE.

11. rereads this year

I either reread books because (a) I’ve forgotten the first and need to refresh before a sequel or (b) I am utter hopeless and in love trash for them.😌 So THAT’S me, how are you. I’ve reread 16 books so far this year!

So many series sequels came out this year?? Like King of Scars appeared and my brain was all, “Let’s do a FULL GRISHAVERSE REREAD”…and subsequently I will never catch up on my TBR pile. 😑But also pfft, why am I complaining. It was so much fun to reread them all?! Six of Crows is still the best. Absolutely.

And then I’m extremely in love with the Caraval books — like wholly obsessed. So I had to reread those before Finale!

The Foxhole Court reread is purely because I’m angsty for found family, damaged family, and Andrew saying, “I want nothing,” and then getting d r a g g e d by Neil replying, “And you always call me nothing.¯\_(ツ)_/¯”. 

EEEE.

 

12. Book that made you cry

Ok ok ok…so I don’t actually physically cry while reading. I am an ice cube. But I do get very emotional inside and then slowly just obsess over a book for…ever. This year absolutely goes to I Wish You All The Best. I was BAWLING inside. It’s heartwrenching, but also about healing? So this was good crying.

This book just meant a ridiculous lot to me and my personal journey too. So just, reeeeead it. It deserves the world’s love.

 

13. Book that made you happy

This isn’t out till September SHHHH but it’s a good chance to add it on Goodreads or preorder but — The Tea Dragon Festival is absolutely gORGEOUS. It’s the softest ever graphic novel, with so so much loving diversity. Like the entire cast is POC, the narrator is nonbinary, and there’s deaf and lgbt secondary characters too. ALSO DRAGONS. It’s basically like falling into a magical world of colours and good food and love and…!!! When did I become so sappy. But this is everything.

 

14. Most beautiful book you’ve bought so far this year (or received)

Look, book covers these days are so freaking divine that it’s unfair to my wallet. I fall in love with so so many?! Unreasonable levels of beautiful art here, smh.

Anyhow…I need to talk about The Wicked King because (a) AHHHHHHHHHHH, (b) no, I see your point, that was not talking but still a 100% accurate representation of my feels, (c) it was truly wicked, cunning, clever, and absolutely incredible, and (d) did you know Queen of Nothing got moved forward to November this year?! THIS. YEAR. I’m really scared Cardan is going to die and then I will not be ok. Can’t Jude just stab him, just a little, and then they make up everything works out??? Yes???

 

15. goals for the rest of the year

➢ right. well I’d LIKE to think I can still read 200 books (hahhahahhah sob)
➢ I badly need to read more eARCs. Badly, so so badly…my ability to request and then not read is astounding.
➢ Do a full Raven Cycle reread before Call Down the Hawk!
➢ Make a point to read a few more adult books 👀
➢ See if I can figure out a way to monetise my instagram a bit so I can afford all these books I want to buy lmao
➢ WRITE?!?! A NOVEL!??! THAT IS SELLABLE?! A concept.
➢ Be a better blogger. Truly. 🙏🏻 I’ll try harder.

| What about you? |

time to tell me all your half-yearly news!! are you behind or on track with your Goodreads goal? what have been your highlight reads of 2019 so far???? OR tell me a book you really should’ve read by now but you haven’t?

 

7 Books I Nearly Didn’t Read (Ft. Who Almost Got Sacrificed?!)

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There are so many books I very nearly didn’t read.

And look, this is just the stark reality: when there are so many stories to consume (and we know we can’t get to them all) some books will be passed over. Someone’s got to be ✨sacrificed✨. It’s so very sad. Siri, pls play Hurts by Emeli Sande.

Now is when I probably should list all the books I have decided not to read, but if I do that someone will say “nO CAIT UR MISSING OUT” and I’ll add it back to my TBR. That someone, btw, will probably be me.

So instead I’m going to list books I tried to toss from my TBr…I really did try…but I failed and read them anyway. And I’m so glad I did!

Which just proves!!! I need to read everything !!!! h e l p

CITY OF BONES

➢ WHY DID YOU NEARLY SKIP IT: I read this back in 2014 which is basically the era when we still had to grind wheat by hand to make bread. It is that long ago. I was a lot more picky with my reads back then and sent things back to the library if they didn’t captivate me. This one just…kept running out of loan time? I read, maybe, a chapter?

➢ WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND: Ok so hear me out but — THE MOVIE. For once I watched the movie first and loooooved it (possibly because Simon and Jace were such a terrific hate/bromance) so I went and devoured the whole book…and then the rest of the series. Fastfoward to now where I have so many Shadowhunter books and multiple editions and will argue for 14 hours about how pure Mark Blackthorn is. Just give me the chance, u coward.

 

CINDER

(shhh I’m aware this is a photo of Winter but I don’t actually own Cinder haha…ooops)

➢ WHY DID YOU NEARLY SKIP IT: I read the first chapter and it didn’t make sense. Like this was back in 2013 and who knows where my brain was at. Clearly under reconstruction. So I sent it back to the library ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

➢ WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND: I think my little sister threatened my life? 🤔 That sounds like a familiar circumstance anyway. Also this was unusual because back then I was the explorative reader while she trawled along behind me. So lucky for me, I have a terrifying little sister I guess.

 

You Know Me Well

➢ WHY DID YOU NEARLY SKIP IT: I remember when it came out my eyes sort of glazed over the blurb and blanked out on the cover. Which I stand by — it’s not a particularly enthralling cover.

➢ WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND: Umm, don’t judge me ok? But look, I’m behind on my Goodreads goal. So I was in the library (this is just last week, by the way) and saw this on the shelf and it was SMALL and I thought “Brilliant, I can knock through that in a few hours and tick it off my goal.” Like…no, I shouldn’t be reading just for the numbers. But I did and I ended up loving this super cute queer friendship story 💛 So that feel when your shallowness pays off.

 

I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST

➢ WHY DID YOU NEARLY SKIP IT: This is for sad, smol reasons but…it was super expensive. I’m talking like over $30 Australian dollars and I just was like ahhhh 😫I’d recently lost a freelance job and I wasn’t sure I could justify that much on a book I wasn’t sure about.

➢ WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND: Um the price came down. 😂And can we pause for a minute and say THANKS, BOOKISH UNIVERSE, because I love this book so freaking that my heart is just a mess of feels. I read it this week and 5!!! STARS!!! All the stars. I’m crying. It meant so much to me and had my favourite romance of shy-withdrawn-anxious kid falls in love with the sunshiney-sparkling-will-annoy-you-into-friendship kid.

 

PACIFICA

➢ WHY DID YOU NEARLY SKIP IT: I’d read another book by the author and hadn’t…clicked with it. So when this one turned up vaguely amongst the book community I was more like: “eh, probably won’t.” Plus it was dystopian and I’m a bit over dystopian because finding love while the world ends doesn’t make sense to me. You know what I’d be looking for?? No a frikkin’ boy. I’d be searching for chocolate and somewhere to take a comfortable nap. Gee. 

➢ WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND: Good news! I got sent it for review hahahahh. (THANKS, TOR TEEN 😘). Better news: I absolutely adored it and it was unique as well as had epic friendships (like “I’ll die for you bro” sort of friendships) and trash sea pirates and riots and beautiful writing and not sure if anything matters but Ross and Adam and Marin.

 

TRULY DEVIOUs

➢ WHY DID YOU NEARLY SKIP IT: I don’t even have a good reason tbh. I just looked at it and felt like a lazy noodle flopping languidly off the table and becoming one with the carpet. Obviously a valid reason to flake on a book. I just don’t think it caught my attention + I didn’t hear anyone rave over it originally?

➢ WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND: Ok my friend @cosyreads raved about it and then the sequel came out and I felt mildly left out. So I actually ordered it with a gift voucher, but the lovely Aussie bookstore said, “Hey! It’s gonna take 2 months to get to you for no discernible reason!” And I couldn’t threaten to stab a company with a butterknife through a laptop, so I got it out from the library. And I LOVED IT. I headcanon Stevie is thoroughly autistic — and it’s just quirky and murdery and fun to read.

 

Last Night I Sang To The Monster

➢ WHY DID YOU NEARLY SKIP IT: I couldn’t find it in print anywhere in Australia!!! I really like Benjamin Alire Sáenz, and Aristotle & Dante is just one of those books that stole my whole heart. But this an older book, 2009, so I also wondered if maaaaybe I wouldn’t like it?

➢ WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND: I found it for sale🤭and then I snabbled it up. And then I read it. And then I LIKED IT. It feels more like adult lit, to be honest, and it’s about an alchoholic teen (I think he’s 18 or 19) in a rehab camp and it has found-family and soft healing, but it’s really a gutwrenching heartache of a book. Obviously I recommend it now — if you can find it. 👀Moral of the story: If you like an author, just go ahead and read everything by them. JUST in case.

 

| WHAT DO YOU THINK |

tell me a book you nearly didn’t read? or is there a book you’re tossing up whether you should read now? 👀tell me and I’ll convince you mwhahaha.

 

 

Starworld by Audrey Coulthurst & Paula Garner (Ft. Friendship and Your Heart, Over There, Breaking)

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This whole book is so deeply about friendship, heartaches, and imaginary escapes.

And oops, yes that would be my heart flinging itself into the void while weeping all the way. 😭 Honestly — I’m still processing how I feel about this. It’s been a few days, and my heart feels sore. But I still also understand that this was a small glimpse through a messy cracked window into two girls’ lives. I appreciate that.

It’s a soft book, slow and quiet and thoughtful. Absolutely funny at times too! It has families with problematic dynamics, intimate friendships, stolen moments for escapism into fantasy worlds, messages about loss and growing up. And it kinda broke me at the end.

*:·ﾟ✧ THE STORY IT TOLD *:·ﾟ✧

Basically this is the story of two girls, Sam and Zoe, who seem to be totally different sorts of people — but the accidentally connect and end up becoming each other’s safe space. Particularly through their (basically roleplay) fantasyworld: STARWORLD. Aka let’s talk about escapism. 🤗I really appreciated the book tackling that because I feel like so so many teens rely heavily on escapism, especially during highschool. My way of escaping was always writing my own fantasy stories. So like, is this book relatable content??? Yes. Yes it is.

Zoe and Sam text each other these silly, fun things about flying to the stars on a dragon who loves eating hot sauce. They go back and forth. They accidentally tumble into telling secrets to each other. When their lives crumble, they have their unlikely friendship. And they have Starworld.

And I think the core of the book was that: it’s ok to need a safe place, a safe person, while you gather the strength to climb your own mountains. You don’t have to be alone.

 

*:·ﾟ✧ FRIENDSHIP VS ROMANCE *:·ﾟ✧

Ok so truly this book is about friendship. Don’t go in expecting a focus on f/f romance (there is queer content though and Sam is questioning). And while I kiiinda wanted more romance, I also think it’s important for YA to emphasis and value friendships.

SPOILERS HERE -- Beware
I am disappointed with the ending. Like Sam had a crush, she didn’t really talk about it before she kissed Zoe…who was very very straight. And Zoe’s reaction WOULD have been absolutely devastating (she was so shocked, it would’ve been easy to translate that to “horror” or “repulsion” even though it wasn’t for Zoe. And then that was it? It took them years to speak again. So while the book built up friendship as such a solid and important thing — I almost felt the takeaway was “but it can be broken and dissolve to nothing if you mess it up”😫.

 

*:·ﾟ✧ SAM & ZOE *:·ﾟ✧

Ahh I loved them BOTH and how they clicked in such unexpected ways. They are fierce and wonderful girls!

➢ SAM: She’s the antisocial geek the loner, an incredible artist and mathematician with a cynical outlook on life. She has exactly one friend (Will) and she wants to design rocks after she finishes highschool. She’s queer-questioning too. But she feels like she’ll never be able to leave home because her mum has severe OCD, and Sam is trying to help her, protect her, and cover for her all at once. Sam’s basically taken on the burden of her mum’s illness and it’s ruining them both.

➢ ZOE: Basically Miss Perfect, who is the sweetheart of school. So kind! So nice! Just…nice! But inside Zoe is a hot MESS because she has severe rejection issues she’s working through from being adopted and she has zero self-worth and is swallowed by her guilt of loving her adopted family…but wanting to know about her birth mother. And her life is cracking to pieces because her adopted-mum has cancer and then Zoe’s 15yo extremely disabled brother is being considered for a disability-needs-home. Aka, he will be leaving. Aka, Zoe is freaked out that they’re “tossing him out” because he’s too much work. It’s triggering all her anxiety AND she’s so upset and worried about her brother.

And Sam and her friendship just becomes this no-judgement safe zone. They have messy families, uncertain futures, and they both ache to be seen for who they truly are.

 

*:·ﾟ✧ THE WRITING *:·ﾟ✧

Just want to shout out to the writing for being a thorough DELIGHT. The dialogue had a wondrous flow and the whole book just made me want to keep devouring chapter after chapter. Sam and Zoe had really different voices, personalities, and reactions to things and…they were just so *clenches fist* so so relatable and loveable despite being utter disasters.

 

*:·ﾟ✧ MENTAL HEALTH & DISABILITY REP *:·ﾟ✧

Ok YES I was nervous about reading potentially bad rep (which is common in books grr) but I think, overall, Starworld did a good job. I can’t speak from personal experiences of having OCD or a very severe nonverbal disability — but I do fit at different places on the mental illness/disability spectrum, hence I had a deep interest in reading this. 👀

I definitely broke for the disability rep — it was loving! It was hard to read about a family giving up their son, but their mum had cancer (not in remission) and they were breaking apart and not giving their disabled son the best quality life they could. It destroyed them to feel like the “failed” him. So there’s no “oh he’s too hard, we’re tossing him out” feels here. It was really well handled, I felt. Still made me WANNA CRY.

The OCD rep…gahhh. I had problems with it, particularly how it felt Sam blamed her mum for being OCD. But a kid shouldn’t have to take care of their parents’ burdens (the mum needed help/counselling), but I do find it tough reading about neurotypicals being all “I’m shouldering this burden 🙄of my mentally ill family member.” Because just…can we not.

 

*:·ﾟ✧ OVERALL WHAT DID I THINK? *:·ﾟ✧

I really liked it and it made me super emotional so many times!! The ending left me unevenly frustrated, but, after thinking about it, I do think the story it told was important still. It’s a tale that’s equally soft and sad, but also whimsical and special. It felt so real, with all the family issues and the school-stresses and the intricacies of newly formed, but super strong, friendships.

It’s about friends who teach each other to be brave.

 

thank you to Walker Books AUS for the ARC. Starworld is out July 1st!

GOODREADS | BOOK DEPOSITORY | AMAZON | BOOKTOPIA | Walker Books | ★★★★☆

Sam Jones and Zoe Miller have one thing in common: they both want an escape from reality. Loner Sam flies under the radar at school and walks on eggshells at home to manage her mom’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, wondering how she can ever leave to pursue her dream of studying aerospace engineering. Popular, people-pleasing Zoe puts up walls so no one can see her true self: the girl who was abandoned as an infant, whose adoptive mother has cancer, and whose disabled brother is being sent away to live in a facility. When an unexpected encounter results in the girls’ exchanging phone numbers, they forge a connection through text messages that expands into a private universe they call Starworld. In Starworld, they find hilarious adventures, kindness and understanding, and the magic of being seen for who they really are. But when Sam’s feelings for Zoe turn into something more, will the universe they’ve built survive the inevitable explosion?

 

| WHAT DO YOU THINK |

tell me another YA book you love that has a focus on friendship? is this one on your TBR? do you read a lot of contemporary?

How To Make Your TBR Taller Than You (Ft. June-September 2019 Releases I Need Desperately)

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It’s that tiiiiime again when you open this post to the tune of your TBR screaming “nooooo”.

Yes, oh yes. I’m listing more highly anticipated YA releases! I hit you with my January-April list at the beginning of the year, so now you need to know what’s coming next. 👀 I’m sure you’ve successfully read all those beginning-of-2019 books anyway, right?

hysterical laughter

All covers will link to Goodreads! All death-by-TBRs are not my fault!

Also how is it June already. This seems rude and something no one ran by me first to ask for permission. I am behind on my Goodreads goal, my ARCs, my life tbh. But I am excellently up-to-date with baking delicious bread. So who’s winning at life here.

YA 2019 releases from June to September

I WANNA BE WHERE YOU ARE | a girl chasing her ballet dreams (which her mum said no to) while her next-door-neighbour-annoying-boy tags along and if that isn’t going to be a super cute romcom, what will. 🤗

WILD AND CROOKED | ok this is about kids whose parents have terrible pasts and they’re trying to be themselves, but also queer!! and cerebral palsy rep!! AND LOOK AT THAT COVER.

SORCERY OF THORNS | and tbh this is like one of the top releases of the year so excuse me while I softly scream over the concept of sorcery librarians. Also I think books can become literal monsters? And that speaks to me because that’s how I feel while drafting.

GHOSTS OF THE SHADOWMARKET | I mean I am utter and absolute Shadowhunter trash and totally here for it so 🙌🏻 excuse me while I am all heart eyes over this short-story collection!

STRONGER THAN A BRONZE DRAGON | I mean DRAGONS and I don’t care about anything else tbh. I do believe a girl has to marry a dubious boy who turns out to be a thief and she ends up (probably) smacking him down. Sounds good.

LIKE A LOVE STORY | It’s about 3 teens and has Iranian, gay, and POC rep and it’s set during the 1989 AID crisis so like….! Important story and the three teens dynamics sound amazing.

CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT | ok I just love Brigid Kemmerer and will read everything she writes of ever. 😭💛Her contemporaries wreck me in the best possible way!!

WICKED FOX | this gives me total Teen Wolf vibes and I am no sad about that. The girl (a nine-tailed fox/gumiho) has to choose between her immortal life and a boy.

HUNGRY HEARTS | it’s an anthology about FOOD. Do I need to say anymore ok this one just calls to me from all of it’s 350-pages. Also so many epic authors involved, like Sandhya Menon, Anna-Marie McLemore, and Rin Chupeco!!

 

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

 

THE MERCIFUL CROW | this one just looks epic and badass. An undertaker girl is trying to haul away the prince’s body except he faked his death. And is still alive. Seems awkward. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SHATTER THE SKY | this is about queer girls stealing dragons and all I can say is 🙌🏻 i will take ten of those, thanks so much.

THE UNDOING OF THISTLE TATE | duuuude, this is about a famous teen author…who secretly didn’t write the book she’s famous for. And I cannot say how much I want to read this.

SPIN THE DAWN | This is an #ownvoices Mulan retelling where she has to sew three magic dresses, from the sun, the moon, and the stars…and tbh you thought your wardrobe was unruly at times. It’s got nothing on this.

THE BECKONING SHADOW | this is about a girl who can summon fears and turn them into realities and that sounds absolutely terrifying. Imagine her around me; she’d summon infinite tins of tuna and I’d cry.

THE STORM CROW | ok uh July is the month of crows?? I will 100% get these confused, I just know it. Anyhow. It’s about a kingdom that has elemental crows and the princess is being forced to wed an enemy.  And I assume has a POC cast!

WILDER GIRLS | ok basically this is like a foresty queer horror with a toxic illness spreading around and girls being badass and I have an ARC of this so I’m happy! Nothing like something to freak you out!

 

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

 

ALL THE BAD APPLES | Alright I adore Moïra Fowley-Doyle and The Accident Season is one of my faves and LOOK!!! New book!! Also it’s about cursed families and her writing is always aesthetic goodness. 😍

LET’S CALL IT A DOOMSDAY | Again I loved this author’s first book (Heretics Anonymous) so I’m here for sophomores. This one is also about mental health and the end of the world.

ZIGGY, STARDUST AND ME | I think this one is gonna make us all cry and that’s ok, wreck me, little book. It’s about a withdrawn queer kid (seems like he’s disassociating from the blurb?) who thinks he needs to be “fixed” and journeys of selflove are just 😭💛

SWIPE RIGHT FOR MURDER | tbh this sounds like a good way to deal with your problems (KIDDING) but also murder mysteries that are also queer = yes thanks.

THE SILENCE BETWEEN US | this one has deaf rep and is about a deaf-hearing relationship and the cover is, quite frankly, gorgeous.

WE ARE LOST AND FOUND | I’m so so excited for this one because WOULD DIE for the author’s previous books (Boomerang is my fave!) and this is about queer teens and the AID crises and school anxiety. I have an ARC of this and I’m so so reading it soon.

HERE THERE ARE MONSTERS | i mean the cover absolutely says it is 100% for me but also the blurb has the words “building monstrous sculptures out of sticks and bones” so like YES.

THE REVOLUTION OF BIRDIE RANDOLPH | this one is about a black teen who falls for the “wrong” boy and also gets closer to her ex-addict aunt…much to her parents disapproval. Also family secrets yay.

 

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

 

 

SLAY | it’s about a girl who’s this honours student, very responsible and has a family who doesn’t believe in video games…and secretly she’s OWNS a very famous video game. I think it’s about fighting back trolls too!

SUGGESTED READING | this is about a teen who’s school starts banning so many books so she starts an illegal library. Which speaks to me on so many levels. YOU GO, GIRL.

SERPENT & DOVE | ok this is about runaway witches and the cover has just called to me and I cannot!!! look away !!!

THE TYRANT’S TOMB | I am still in denial over the last Apollo book and how it ripped out my heart and ate it for a snack. BUT. Apparently I want more pain because am back for a fourth serve.

A COURT OF MIRACLES | this doesn’t have a cover yet but I’m already screaming. It’s a “diverse fantasy reimagining of Les Misérables and The Jungle Book.” And it’s being compared to Six of Crows os does that mean a heist?! HOLD ME.

KINGDOM OF SOULS | this cover is so badass it could kill you with its pinky finger. A witchdoctor’s daughter is sadly magicless and so she starts trading pieces of her soul for magic and I just 👀

PERMANENT RECORD | considering Emergency Contact was one of my favourite reads of this year I have to read Mary H.K. Choi’s next book. I’m not convinced it’s YA though? But it’s about famous vs nobodies falling in love.

GIDEON OF THE NIGHT | ok!! Again not YA but I’m breaking my own list rules because this has lesbian necromancers but the pitch is literally “this the most fun you’ll ever have with a skeleton” and considering I’ve never had fun with a skeleton — bring it.

SWORD AND PEN | This is the 5th book and FINALE of the Great Library series and afjldksad I have so many emotions. The last one rather destroyed me. But I’m so ready to find the ending??? Pls survive, Jess. 🙏🏻

AMERICAN ROYALS | ok this is an alternate history where America has a monarchy…and now the Washingtons are like this long line of royal family. I believe this is about the 3 royal siblings who are utter disasters and it just sounds super fun.

LOKI: WHERE MISCHIEF LIES | it’s Mackenzie LEEEEEE!!!! Aka the author of The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue (one of my all time favourite books) who is writing a Loki, gendfluid and sassy and troublesome, story! I seriously hope this lives up to the extreme hype because omg.

 

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

 

| TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS |

uhh how is your TBR going? anyone ready to yell?😬also tell me what your favourite 2019 release has been so far this year!!

 

What Happened In May? (Ft. Author Anniversary + My TBR Growing Taller Than My Writing Crisis)

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It is official: even my TBR is taller than my writing crisis.

Which is saying something because that crisis is very tol.

I also want to apologise for my lack of blog posts. See aforementioned crisis. But I’m…trying…to get myself together. Thank you for sticking with me. 😭I’ve officially been blogging for 8 years because GUESS WHO MISSED their blog birthday. Oh wow I am in a bad way. But see after this long you kind of run out of ideas, hence I’m struggling to blog at the moment. 😂

But hey you know how I moved last month?! Well I now have a library. YES A L I B R A R Y. It is mine. It’s all mine and I shall read all of it. (And yes I’m already neatly in their request box, asking them to buy my wishlist.) The only downside is signing up for a library card is always a delightful headache. 😑 It basically goes like this:

Librarian: here’s your card CAIT ANDREWS
Me: …it’s Drews?
Librarian: And oh wait sorry but your mum needs to sign for the card!
Me: ….i’m twenty five.
Me: the novel that i have written is on your shelf

I mean I actually just smiled awkwardly through the whole thing but ya know. 😂 In some alternate reality I am going to SNAP and yell “IM TWENTY FIVE” in the middle of a crowded airport or something. (They do this to me in airports too yes.) I was born in ’94, sir, not 2001. Get back before I hit you with the ’90s.

Anyhow the library is (1) huge, and (2) mine.

It’s so ridiculously good to have a library again…to be able to carry out stacks of books and wield my library card like the weapon it is. I have been starved (FOR TWO YEARS) from library access so I have a lot to make up for. The downside is I’ve read a lot of what’s on the shelves lol. But they don’t charge you for adult reservations like the last library I had!!!!! This is grand news.

I am unstoppable and full of books.

“Cait,” you start nervously, “what about all the books already in your room on your TBR pile–“

Hush.

 

So most importantly…I’ve been a published author for a year!!

Well, nearly. In seven days, it will be A Thousand Perfect Note’s first anniversary and I just 😭wait a second while I dissolve into so many emotions. It feels absolutely wild and surreal to have two books out already. Like ONE YEAR. I am just a baby author here, I am so green and soft and confused. And I worked so so hard for this, but I also am lucky that I got this opportunity.

However a lot of being an author IS built on luck (lol sob) so I’m in a rough patch at the moment. It takes 2-3 years after selling a book for you to see it on the shelves and…no I’m not hiding any secret surprising book deals. I’m standing shakily while look up at a wall of rejections that make very little sense to me since I feel like my first two books have been loved and done well.

I’m not here to complain to you, but I guess I’m trying to say — please be patient with me. I am a little broken about the edges (having your plans crumble + having depression is a bad mix, 0/10 do not recommend) but I’m trying valiantly to keep going.

(and this is when I pile absolutely all the grateful thanks onto you for supporting my first two books. I want there to be more books from me so so desperately. So thank you for your sales, your reviews, your love! It is, quite literally, life changing.)

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧  OTHER THINGS… *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

  • A Thousand Perfect Notes hit 10,000 adds on Goodreads WHICH IS A LOT AND I JUST 😱
  • The Boy Who Steals Houses has nearly been out for 2 months — and it didn’t make the splash ATPN did, no, but I love this book so ferociously afjdkslad so I’m glad it’s been really lovingly received!!
  • I’m cautiously toying with the idea of writing some short stories for them…
  • My author copies for TBWSH finally arrived. I’m trying not to be mad that it took 6 freaking weeks but 🙃they are at least here.
  • Sometimes I do giveaways on Instagram! So be sure to watch there. I will definitely be doing something fun for ATPN’s first anniversary.

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ NEW WRITING *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

And look, I have had a rough time recently for writing. I can’t give you all the details but arusghsoooossssssss has been the general mood. But I wrote a new draft. It is a fantastic disaster but it is finished and it was a good solid reminder that I can still do this writing thing. It took me 2 months and I wrote 89,000-words. I even had a cute little calendar with flowers on it to mark my writing word counts. I am an inspiration. 🙌🏻 It wasn’t what I should be writing, but it was a passion project with monsters. Ergo it was very satisfying for me.

(Remember when I wrote a book in 3 days? LOL @ THE GOOD OL’ TIMES. Writing fast and fiercely? We don’t know her anymore.)

 

erm so I basically abandoned SHIP and wrote for 2 months which is 0% helpful for one’s overwhelming TBR. All I can say is R.I.P my goodreads goal. I mean I could lower it. But chill out??? Don’t overachieve??? What are those things.

I read a lot of comics and poetry this month and I’m still 4 behind 😭😂

(all covers link to goodreads)

BOOKS BOUGHT…

From library

FOR REVIEW…

FROM NETGALLEY / EDELWEISS…

…ok so I didn’t do a wrap up last month, that’s why there are so many. But also:

H E L P   M E

I have made some bad decisions. But also library life so 😍

What Should I Read Next?

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Usually I do the cover-hover-flippy-thingie, but…I’m feeling lazy (at least I’m honest?) so I’m just doing a rundown of my top reads of the May. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

BEST OF THE MONTH

FINALE | It was freaking amazing. I was super nervous for the end of a fave trilogy… but it was good! It lacked backstory and I felt there was missed potential but hoLY WOW I FREAKING LOVED IT. My heart soared. I can’t stop thinking about it!!! Excellence.

LEGENDARY | I did reread before Finale! ok this is absolutely one of my all time favourite books AHH. Gorgeous, vicious, beautiful and twisty…Dante and Tella are my faves and I just sort of scream softly every time they breath. Also the writing?? The world building? EXQUISITE.

ROMANOV | this is the Anastasia retelling that I’ve wanted foreverrrr. It was sad and dark, but also mixed in hope and the sweetest cinnamon heroine. ALSO magic. Good amounts of magic and heartbreak.

AURORA RISING | ahh for the mega hyped ones *awkward flail* I did enjoy it, but it felt like an Illuminae repeat. 10/10 would die for Finian but I wasn’t emotionally invested in the rest of the squad. Which made the ending a bit meh. BUT!! It was hilarious and good fun.

THE DISASTERS | Another fun space opera! A+ to the diversity with queer, trans, Muslim, and POC characters all leading!!! I want more of this in sci-fi ok. I did sadly get lost with the plot a bit and didn’t click with the humour — but I still rec it so much.

THE LOVE INTEREST | dude everyone said this was so bad AND YET I LOVED IT?!? It mocks so many YA cliches, but also tells a good story, plus two adorable dumbass boys fighting for a girl when they actually love…each other ajfdklsa. Aussie author too! #ownvoices

THE POET X | Silly me for not reading this sooner. Oh wow it hit hard emotionally too, with how cruel her mum was in the name of “religion”. I just wanted Xiamora to be herself, be epic and be loved. And her poems were amazing. I do love novels in verse.

HEARTSTOPPER VOL 1 | AGH THIS WAS SO CUTE IT IS A TOTAL FAVE. I love Alice Oseman’s cutest ever stories. And also these soft bois and their adorkable expressions. Unimpressed where the cliffhanger was lolol bring me Vol 2…

OTHER BOOKS READ

I have too many books to read, a very low attention span right now, and I need !!! to write a new novel !!! that is somewhat saleable !!! what is June and why is it attacking me.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

tell me if you’re ahead or behind of your Goodreads challenge? 🤗 no shame here, only mutual loving screaming. and tell me what to read next because i have too many decisions!!

 

The Pancake Book Tag (Ft. Breakfast Opinions & Chaotic Recs)

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It’s pretty much official that breakfast food is better than most other food.

I mean, cereal. Waffles. PANCAKES. Although if pressed, I do admit I am: waffle > pancakes. Waffles have those nice organised squares see and when you put toppings in those squares they stay, while pancakes are over there like “whAT IF EVERYTHING SLID OFF YOUR PANCAKE WHEN U PUT IT TO YOUR MOUTH!!” Little demons. They are still delicious though.

In Australia we do mini-pancakes and call them “pikelets”. Because we’re special and we make no sense.

Anyhow, this is all to say I’m doing the…

…which I lovingly stole from Marie @ Drizzle and Hurricane Books (I think I steal a lot of foodie tags from you!? But you’re wonderful. Thank you. 😘) And the tag was originally created by Becky @ Blogs of a Bookaholic!

I actually started off today planning to write this very sensible post for mental health may but my mental health took off on a train, leaving a postcard that said, “SEE YA SUCKA” which is, quite frankly, rude. So instead you get a pancake tag and I get a quiet existential crisis — which hopefully will be cured by pancakes.

It’s like nearly 10:00pm and yet I need a pancake.

 

🥞✨💛

pancakes with a sprinkling of sugar

(book with beautiful prose / descriptions)

I adore beautiful prose…like if you even breathe the phrase “purple prose” I will be THERE, with a bucket of blueberries and a fold out chair to set up and stake my claim on that book forever. 🙌🏻 It is mine now and we shall be married at dawn. And (since it’s hugely on my mine because it is my most reason obsession) I’m going to say the Caraval series. It’s so perfectly stunning with the lush and wickedly delicious prose that I just !!!! want to fall into this writing.

 

pancakes with lemon drizzle

(character with sharp wit or temperament)

*screams in Locke Lamora*

He is like a Slytherin inside a Hufflepuff badger fluffy softest coat. He will, literally, mock himself out of danger. And he’s so sassy that his friends often consider stuffing him in a barrel and selling him for a jar of pickles — bUT they don’t because his also wickedly sharp and could steal the world. If only you dared him to.😌10/10 to this series I am obsessed.

 

pancakes with chocolate nutella

(a comforting read you could devour again and again)

This is absolutely hands down THE RAVEN CYCLE. It’s definitely my most reread series and somehow manages to stress me the heck out — and be comforting? Like “oh will the kids softly give each other the family they deserve…or will they raise a demon and nearly die in the woods! we don’t know! What has Gansey got scheduled!”

I love them. Would die for Blue and all four of the raven boys she accidentally collected.

 

pancakes with golden syrup

(novel that gave you a serious book hangover — sugar crash alert!)

I want to say Finale by Stephanie Garber because — guess what’s on my MIIIIIIND. 🤭 But hey we’ll go for something new. I definitely flopped in a wailing pile after The Wicker King. I mean you know I love this one. It’s right up there with The Raven Cycle. I just !!!! my anxious disaster neglected kids + prose that stole my breath away. I want to write this well when I grow up.

 

pancakes, strawberries, and cream

(a book that gave you all the indulgent feels)

Aww I shall definitely shout out to Red White & Royal Blue here! I so so rarely pick up romances, especially adult/new adult ones, because there aren’t nearly enough knives. I do like stories with knives. But this one was hyped and queer and #ownvoices and, you know what?? HYSTERICALLY FUNNY. Also it had so many pockets of deep and heartachy feels. Henry, you depressed princely lump. And Alex, you hotheaded explosion.

 

pancakes with blueberries

(a character that seems sharp at first, but actually has hidden depths)

My first and immediate thought was just ISABELLE LIGHTWOOD 😍 whom I love with just my whole heart. I mean she is terrifyingly good at weapons, frighteningly gorgeous, and didn’t murder any of the boys in her life during TMI which (let’s be real) is an actual miracle because they were all useless loafs.

 

pancakes and banana toffee

(a book with a slippery plot that kept you guessing)

Ok I truly had no idea who was going to be the killer in White Rabbit. This book is good. I do remember thinking it would be super fun to read this to relax (lol @ me) and ended up stressed and turning pages aggressively while I hoped my damaged little queer detectives didn’t accidentally step into a TRAP AND DIE.

 

pancakes and crispy bacon

(a romantic pairing you weren’t sure you’d like at first, but ended up being the perfect match)

Ok, I won’t lie: I didn’t ship Cardan and Jude at all when I first read The Cruel Prince. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ They’re both absolute messes, but Cardan didn’t seem to have enough nuance behind his tragicness to make me really ship them? THEN CAME THE WICKED KING. Hahha…oh yes. They’re still terrible for each other. But they’re terrible enough to each other mutually that it works. I stan.

 

pancakes and peanut butter

(a character that makes you recoil)

I actually am glad this question equates peanut butter with recoiling because I’m tragically allergic.😫 Not like anaphylactic, I just get like hives/rashes. And it SUCKS because peanut butter is good. I wish to file a complaint to the universe.

Anyway there are so many characters I hate so I’m literally making today’s pick because I just finished reading…✨The Poet X.✨ I loved the book a lot. Xiamora broke my heart and her mother made me FURIOUS. She was outright abusive, under the guise of being good and holy, and she misused what religion truly even is. I shake my fist. I’m still so angry at her.

 

pancakes with a bit of everything!

(a book with wonderfully diverse characters)

Ok I can’t even pick one so I’m just going to leave you with a list of delightful recs (these are books I’ve read THIS year) and only quietly demand you read them all, asap, while your TBRs yell at me because didn’t you have enough to read?? Then you made the bad decision to read my blog — and now look at you.

I love them. 😍

 

i didn’t have an pancake photos!! the shame! So here is a pie instead.

 

🥞✨💛

So what do you think?

pancakes vs waffles? what’s your favourite way to eat pancakes? and tell me some diverse books you’ve loved and discovered THIS year!

Mental Health May | YA Anxiety Book Recommendations From Your Local Anxious Fish (Me)

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Since May is for mental health awareness, I am going to pile my favourite books featuring anxiety into your arms and stare at you till you read them.

10/10 for this method of book recommendation. I’m sure it can’t backfire.

Actually I had a whole lot of posts planned for May because YAY (!!) mental health is a topic I’m passionate about and it’s a topic that’s layered in stigma, misunderstood, and given confusing rep in media. But somehow it is…May….18th…and I have posted a grand total of TWICE this month. Yikes. Ok but I did disappear to move house and write a novel. And while I could’ve scheduled posts…Organisation??? We don’t know her. Focus?? A stranger. 🙌🏻

So let me squeeze a bunch of mental health posts into the end of the month.

Today I’m recommending books featuring ANXIETY because…I have it! And it’s really hard to find good rep for it!

This, I feel, is because it’s so misunderstood. “Oh you’re anxious? Just stop overthinking it!” they say. Cue our eyes rolling out the back of our heads. Plus there’s a difference between “oh I feel anxious” to “I CYCLE ANXIETY BETTER THAN A WASHING MACHINE CYCLES MY SOCKS AND THERE IS NO END. EVER.” Anxiety vs anxiety, basically. I’ve been diagnosed with Anxiety, social and general (also depression). I long to read books that hold that comforting whisper of “Hey you’re not alone…” But often times, the rep I come across is gut-wrenchingly bad.

So I want to share my faves. 🤗

also, the obvious disclaimer is: not everyone’s anxiety disorders manifest the same way. So these hit a chord with me, but that doesn’t mean they’re perfect or universal anxiety rep.

onwards!

 

OTHER POSTS you might like 👀

➸ How To Keep Writing When You Have a Mental Illness

…The Wicker King by K. Ancrum

honestly if you only read ONE BOOK from this list…make it this one. It is the kind of book that steals your whole heart and just wrecks you — in the best possible way. It’s narrated by August (who has anxiety) and he is trying to keep his best friend Jack afloat (who has a degenerative illness) and honestly I broke for these two boys. For their love that they didn’t have words to describe. For their need to be loved and taken care of and how that was never given them. How they would die for each other. The book is the softest, and most deepest heartbreak — coupled with pure hope. (And August’s anxiety was very very dear to me.)

 

…Emergency Contact by Mary H.K. Choi

OH. If this isn’t one of my favourites of 2019 already!!! Sam’s anxiety was like…oh I felt seen. He’s basically an anxiously depressed heap, existing on coffee and unrequited love, and I 100% loved this book with all my soul. It’s also dual-narrated by Penny, who is a writer, so like hit me with how good this book is, why don’t you. I think Penny also had anxiety? But Sam’s was like a washing machine on a spin cycle that never ended and Penny was self-imploding by herself.

 

…HISTORY is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

Technically Griffin has OCD … but that’s anxiety! And also this is #ownvoices and you can tell because it just has so much heart. It’s also here to break your heart, because Silvera is constantly nice like that. Look it’s been a while since I read this so I’m clinging to feels more than actually remembrance of what happened (lol, yes, I am the worst) but I do remember feeling my heart knot up in my chest at how Griffin was at war with his compulsions: does he ask for help for them or deny them? Because I get that. Also this book is queer and sad and, yet still, hopeful.

 

…A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard

Steffi has social anxiety and selective mutism and…🙌🏻 if this wasn’t some of the most relatable rep for me eep. It’s actually such a Quiet YA™ story, soft and wholesome and she’s kind of forced into being “buddies” at school with the new kid, Rhys, who is deaf. Since Steffi knows a bit of BSL (British Sign Language) due to her selective mutism, she can sort of talk to him. And the whole “I don’t wanna be around this boy” turns to “😍THIS BOY😍”. And if you’re worried it has a “romances cures all” plot? NOPE. That is not to be seen here. It so firmly stays true to the realities of mental illness…but how life can be so much sweeter when you have someone on your side.

 

…Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Also gonna shout out to I Was Born For This also for being amazing with anxiety. Jimmy!! 🙌🏻 She just writes perfectly accurate anxiety-rep ok?! Ok. So in Radio Silence my heart was just stolen by Aled, who’s actually a secondary character — but he’s ace and anxious and an absolute geek and he and Frances fall into this such deep, wholesome friendship. It is EVERYTHING.

I love friendship books!! I want 100 more of them at all times!! I also need to badly reread it because I’ve forgotten too many details.

 

…Starfish by Akemi Dawn Bowman

Yes this one will slowly turn you into a star shaped puddle of tears and you’ll just be there whispering, “This is beautiful” while the book repeatedly smacks you in the head. Bless. Kiko has social anxiety, too, and also PTSD from an abusive mother. Like you don’t really imagine your own mother would be…racist. But she IS and it’s disgusting and horrifying and I felt so bad for Kiko I wanted to steal her from these very pages. Also she’s an artist — so the book is a painting in itself.

 

…Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson

This isn’t explicit rep…as in: it’s not on page with Stevie saying “I have anxiety.” But I can SEE. I feel it in my bones. She’s so socially awkward and she absolutely overthinks everything and isolates herself (actually I headcanon she’s also autistic 😌my child, I love) and she sort of buckles inwards when things get Too Much and she panics.  Also there’s murder and boarding schools and it’s SO quirky. I just loved it!!!

 

…Anger Is A Gift by Mark Oshiro

Ok I loved Moss but this book will hardcore make you CRY. It’s a #BlackLivesMatter story (#ownvoices too) and it’s about the absolute discrimination black teens face in some highschools. Moss has very intense anxiety disorder, partially brought on also by his father’s murder and how Moss feels he’s expected to fit in those shoes and be an activist, but he is struggling just with highschool. It also has a soft queer romance and I just 😭 Reeeeead this one. It’s so important.

 

…The Weight Of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf

Another super important one! This is set in the riots of 1969 in Malaysia (#ownvoices!) and Melati has OCD/anxiety and it is SO intense. Her spirals are described in acute detail and it’s so hard to read sometimes. My heart broke for her. And also this was a pocket of history I knew literally nothing about, so it was good to learn?? And also I just loved the writing, how it was about family and facing your demons and admitting you need help.💛 A tough read but SO GOOD.

 

…The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

Why have one type of anxiety when you can have FOUR. Ok you know that this is my favourite series adjfkasld and one thing I love is how accurately Maggie Stiefvater gets anxiety. (Well, she lives it, so that makes sense.) But Gansey has full on panic attacks, Adam has PTSD and dissociates with his anxiety, and Ronan self-medicates his PTSD and gets stuck in literal anxiety-dreams of visceral nightmares. And Noah? Noah is so anxious what can I say. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think it’s important to talk about how anxiety can be displayed so differently too?? So bless this book for that. (ALSO IT’S MY FAVOURITE AHHHHH.)

 

…The Boy Who Steals Houses by… Meeeee

What can I say. I wrote a book. I am anxious. The book turned anxious. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And now my life’s work is loudly subtly recommending it to you at every opportunity with zero shame.

My two main characters, the Lou brothers — Sam and Avery — both have anxiety. It presents in different ways, a contrast that really meant a lot to me to write. Sam implodes and Avery explodes. Sam helps Avery manage his anxiety but Sam feels like no one notices his…HA BOI. Just wait till I gift you with a whole new family. 🤗 Anyway this book was very personal for me to write, particularly with the anxiety rep. So I’m just glad it got a chance to be in the world!

 

💖✨☁️🌸

| WHAT DO YOU THINK |

tell me some YA books with anxiety rep that you loved?? have you read any of these? (and have you posted much this month or been a slacker like me oops lmao🤭)

 

Rainbow Bookshelf Tour (Ft. New House, New Shelf Setup, Same Internal Scream)

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I haven’t done a bookshelf tour since 2017, so it’s time to show you my latest library set up!

I am especially overdue for a bookshelf tour since I’ve moved through two different houses since my last one…lol. (Why are you tired, Cait? Why are you aLWAYS TIRED.) If you aren’t stalking following me on instagram, you may not know but: I moved house again. I used to live in Far North QLD and now I’ve tumbled 1,300kms down to mid-QLD coast. I’m on the beach, ok. I love the beach.

I have very complicated feelings about how often we move. I have very difficult feelings about our last house, which was in a tiny town with no library and more dairy cows than people. But we won’t go into all that 🙌🏻 You are here for BOOKS. I am here for CHOCOLATE. One of us, at least, should be satisfied. (I guess it won’t be me unless someone brings me chocolate??? w o w the sacrifices I make.)

I’ve been in this new house for a total of 6 days, so things are still super shiny and full of odd corners I’m learning to fit into. This is why I haven’t been blogging. But I’m BACK.

you might like…

➸ Bookshelf Tour 2017
➸ Tour Of My Work Space 2017

So the first thing to know is that my last room was TINY. It was a shoebox and when you have as many books as I do, you do not cope in a shoebox. I had my shelves nearly blocking the door, something my parents complained about but tbh it meant no one could get in my room easily. Who’s the REAL winner here. (Me.)

The new house…has an excellent sized room! I can even have a desk! I can WORK at a desk! Will I?! Probably not. I am in bed currently, cosy and listening to a storm roll in. But I could work at a desk….

Also if you want a video tour, just look at my instagram Stories! Tbh just look at my instagram all the time. It’s pretty. And I spend so much time over there (Reason #3898 I have not been blogging oops.)

It’s kind of like a LIBRARY NOOK now and I appreciate this so much.

As always, I have my main rainbow shelf. Plus my two tall smol brown bookshelves are basically hardcovers. Then to the left, I now have some white shelves for the oddballs. I’ve actually got these shelves on their sides so they don’t block the window. SELF FIVE for making it all fit.

Now this rental house gifted us with some odd pieces of furniture the last tenants left behind. Incluuuuuding!!! This white set of IKEA bookshelf cubes! It fits perfectly on my IKEA shelf! Like GO IKEA for everything fitting like a prepackaged cake mix! I mean, it would be nice if it was brown. Not pleased with the last tenants of this house not considering my colour scheme. But whatever.

I’ve put my Owlcrate books up here. And my shrine to the author of A Thousand Perfect Notes, because I am a HUGE fan. Love them so much. Kinda suspicious about their love for depressing content, but ya know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My The Boy Who Steals Houses author copies are not here. 😒 They are, in fact, missing. I am storming over to England directly, and perhaps throwing a stale scone at their postal office.

I also have my mug collection on top. These are mugs I LOVE and therefore will never use. #smart

Hardcovers! MY TOL SMOL SHELF.

“Cait do you have a favourite author where you’ll actually ignore your favoured rainbow shelf in order to keep their books together???” you say.

I MEAN. MAYBE I DO.

I also want to shout out with sad love to my Stiefvater shrine, because these books are SO worn and battered. Literally from just all the photos I take. 😂 I usually reread them via audio so the books are worn out and barely read. #bookstagrammerlife

And below my window I just have, what I affectionally call: THE UGLY MISFIT SHELF.

These rogues are either (1) the rejects, (2) grey spines which do nOT fit with my life plans, (3) or series that I wanted to stay together. I wish my Schwab collection was more cohesive, but here I am.

Upcoming Problems:

  • I have not left room for Darkdawn.
  • Cassandra Clare is coming out with like three books this year AND WHERE IS THE SPACE FOR THEM, CAIT.
  • Also Aurora Rising will need to fit in next to Illuminae. Current chances of that? no lol.

So the moral is: yes all my books fit perfectly…If I do not get any more. Will I get more?

Yes. 😭😂

My feelings towards the people who made The Dark Artifices exactly 1cm taller than The Mortal Instruments? 😡

My feelings towards beautiful spine art and even better typography? 😍


New life goal: write a book with every colour spine and have a RAINBOW OF ME.
#humbledontweknowit

 

➸ I got rid of over 150+ books before I moved! Now I have 561 books!

➸ That…doesn’t…include the dark depths of my kindle (and my overdue eARCs, erm we don’t…talk about those)

➸ I have about 140 unread physical books.

➸ who is that screaming? oh. oh it me.

➸ I get asked “how do you know where to find books if they’re in rainbow-order?” But well see I just KNOW. Some people remember their siblings’ names and birthdays. I delete those from my brain files. I remember that The Boneless Mercies goes next to my paperback of Blue Lily Lily Blue.

➸ Another thing people say to me is “Oh you’re SO RICH to have all these books.” Lol no. To be honest? I’m lucky. I have been blessed with amazing publishers gifting me books in exchange for promotion, not to mention library sales where a hardcover will be 50cents. And book boxes I’ve repped for! I lost a freelance job so my book-buying budget is SO tight now and it’s making me sad. There are so many books I want to read??? Authors I want to support?? GAH. So yeah, #lolno to being rich. But I wish.

➸ So so many of my books have brown speckled pages now from living in the tropics.😫I’m so SAD. They’ve deteriorated so much.

➸ I’m keeping my immediate TBR over on my desk! So I can lie in bed, stare at it, and feel ashamed, woo!

➸ When I get stuck writing a scene, I stare at my shelf. It is equal parts motivating (“look! you too could have another book on a shelf!”) and makes you grumpy (“wHY DIDN’T I THINK OF that brilliant idea jafkdsrsrffsss”). I definitely recommend it.

➸ When we moved in, I unstacked all my books first…my 16 boxes of books. THEN I did my clothes. My…one…small suitcase…of clothes. Peak bookworm behaviour. I’m not even sorry.

I’m quite excited to be living by the beach! I promise I’ll also get my life together hahaha what a JOKE it’s never been together and get back to blogging regularly. I do admit I’ve thoroughly dropped the ball on reading too. I’m 4 books behind my Goodreads goal?! This is the first time since 2013 that I’ve …just STOPPED reading for nearly a month!? But I’m writing! Writing has been so hard for me lately so I’m focusing on a Secret Project™ that’s making me happy. And maybe I can’t write 30K a day anymore. But I am writing something.

I am still freaking out about not reading as much as I used to. But maybe I can play catch up and still make 200 by the end of the year??? Send help, extra eyeballs, and chocolate. thx.

how do you organise your books? by genre or author or rainbow? and which author have you collected the most books from? (mine is Cassandra Clare! I have doubles of hers…oops. but not sorry)

 

The Boy Who Steals Houses #BookBlitz! (Ft. Signed Annotated Giveaway)

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Did you know it’s been 2 whole weeks since The Boy Who Steals Houses came out?!

My son! Already so old and accomplished and honestly bringing me great joy. 😭💛The amazing AUSYA Bloggers team hosted a blitz for me last week and I don’t even know how to say how grateful I am! It went from the 19th-21st and I meant to post about it but…ok here’s the truth: I’m moving house and packing everything, including my brain. So I’m late to my own blitz but HI. Am here finally!!

So the most massive thankyou to everyone who joined in!

The buzz on Instagram and across the blogsophere was so so amazing. And it makes the world of difference for my small author self ajfdklsad can I just say how much I love that the blogging community has supported my blog AND now my books?? My heart😭🎉I looooove you.

I also want to give a super quick note that…I hope this post doesn’t come across as bragging. Look I’m not a bestseller, I’ve actually had a pretty hellish time with a lot of things regarding my publishing journey. But I am lucky and nice things have happened to me and I’m blessed by the community, so this is my thank you. 🤗And I am rooting for all you other writers’ successes too, ok?!

 

Anyway! Giveaway will be below! But before we get to that…

10 Favourite Moments of The Boy Who Steals Houses Release So Far!

1. I’ve made people cry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alright! Wait wait! Before you go thinking I’m a monster who thrives on tears (because that is not true at all 😌), I actually take so much heart in this because it means my little paperback novel of ink and printed words — has made people feel things. That’s actual magic.

People have sent me photos of tearstained TBWSH pages. When I announced the book, my editor basically tweeted “IT MADE ME CRY” which tbh is a life goal achieved. I’ve had dozens of “Cait!!!! First of all I CRIED” messages. And I just 😍 am thriving knowing my book has given people emotions.

2. It was put in an #AutismAcceptanceMonth Big display in Waterstones!

Curated by an autistic bookseller so like, I HAVE ASCENDED.

3. Some of my favourite authors have flailed over it!

Tbh my impostor syndrome is real. I know a lot of authors struggle with the whole “yeah but I’m not really much an an author” thing and bleashosrhgs I’m sure it comes from a place of anxiety. But this time round, I’ve chatted with several kind authors who didn’t have to take time away from their days to support me…but they did??? 😭They’re my heroes and I am starry-eyed.

So all the love and thanks to Mia Kuzniar, C.R.R. Hillin, Nadine Brandes, Helene Dunbar, Brigid Kemmerer, Mary Weber (also Laini Taylor said congrats to me on release day!!) and Marissa Kennerson!

4. The instagram buzz was SURREAL!

Release day was amazing! I was actually alone for the day and…ok I admit it. I had a pre-release cry. Overwhelm plus disappointment about some things that had gone wrong. I like to talk about the positives, but my string of disappointments and mishaps surrounding TBWSH was long and hard.

But then the 4th of April came and…bookstagram just gave me this intensely soft hug and whispered, “We’re proud of you,” and I just (!!!!) wanted to cry again, but for happy reasons. Thank you so so much to everyone who posted or messaged or cheered for me! If you think it didn’t matter? Pfshsfhsogh NO. It meant the world to me. Every single one.

5. It reached 39 bestseller on Book Depository!

And like freaking BOOK DEPOSITORY gave it a shout out on their instagram page?! I’m still confused as to why lmaooo. It was the best moment but I didn’t think they did that!

6. I commissioned fanart which turned out the actual best.

You’ll be able to win one of these in the giveaway! But I’ll also be giving away more on instagram eventually and potentially selling some?! Hold on for more news about that.

my heart = belongs to fanart.

7. My parents sent me flowers and I had my first magnum in like…5 or something years.😂

I knoooow. How dare I betray cake and not eat it on release day but can you look at this vegan magnum and tell me you wouldn’t want one. It was delicious.

8. It’s in bookstores!!

This is mostly in the UK and Australia…! But BOOKSTORES. Honestly this was the pinnacle of my life goal: walk into a bookstore and see my book. And no I haven’t seen TBWSH in stores myself yet (there are 3 people and 17 cows in our town…and the local bookstore solely stocks Harry Potter and The Hunger Games because nOTHING ELSE has ever been printed since obviously). But I will find it in a store soon! Moving house remember?! Going to the city. Bring it, civilisation.

I’m so grateful for people who send me photos of it in the wild! Better believe I SAVE ‘EM ALL.

9. I’ve had a lot of absolutely heartfelt and touching messages about it.

Like 10/10 I love the ones screaming at me. But I’ve also had people saying how much the autism rep meant to them, how they connected with the big messy De Lainey family, how the book has nestled into a very safe and special place in their hearts and they can’t stop thinking about it.💛I live for this.

Like there are simply thousands of books you could choose to read. But you chose mine. And I’m grateful.

10. So so many asks of “will there be a sequel?!”

Which as of right now: sorry, but it’s a standalone! Like I would want to write sequels, yes yes, but so much depends on sales and a few other things. Honestly at this point it doesn’t seem likely. But just knowing you WANT a sequel has me freaking out with happiness!! Look I miss the De Laineys too. But do you really think I should be allowed near Sam again? Do you reeeeeally. 😂 PART 2 OF RUINING HIS LIFE…ajdkfslad maybe we should all think about what we’re asking.