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Paper Fury

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The Smashing & Dashing 2018 Character Awards #BookTag (Time To Choose Favourites From Your Kids!)

Hey it’s nearly the end of the year! Time to choose favourites from our kids!

And by “kids” I clearly mean choosing-favourites-amongst-the-book-characters-we-love…who are basically our kids now, ok. In 2016 it was all “who’s your book boyfriend” and now it’s all “WHO IS YOUR SON AND WHO WILL YOU SMITE TO PROTECT THEM” and I love it.

But to the business at hand.

I always do a “Best Of The Year” post (closer to the end of December! I can still squeeze some more reads in!) but I never manage to mention enough books?! And characters??? I want to mention SO MANY and give all the recommendations. Hence, in 2016, I made up a random book tag called…

THE SMASHING & DASHING CHARACTER AWARDS

Which is about as enthusiastic and violent as you can expect from me. What can I say.

Anyway! Feel free to join in. Basically we’re just…

  • nominating characters to fit the categories
  • just has to be from books you READ in 2018 (doesn’t have to have been published this year!)
  • and link back to meeeee (or tell me you did the tag so I can come see your post!)
  • also if you are reading this and eating a christmas cookie….share?

1. MOST RELATABLE CHARACTER

Look for me, it’s a toss up between Mark Blackthorn (from Lady Midnight) who has a lot of dramatic emotions and 10/10 would throw himself down the stairs to make a point if given the opportunity. (Every time Julian says “please chill out”, Mark just replies very calmly, “I am a fAERIE we are just this way.”) Plus I thoroughly headcanon Mark is also autistic and I cannot be convinced otherwise.

AND I also should pick a new character I just this year sooo…I also adored Alice from Furthermore! She loved shiny pretty things and if anyone startled her, she kicked them. She also could hold like grudges for YEARS and, I have respect.

 

2. MOST PURE ANIMAL COMPANION

Aww Leo’s dog in Satellite was ADORABLE and so pure (AND DIDN’T DIE) and it broke me how much Leo absolutely adored that dog and wanted him so much ajfkdslad.

3. FIERCEST FIGHTER

I only just read The Last Namsara (I knoooow, I am very late) but holy wow Asha was terrifying, stabby, majestic with multiple weapons at multiple times, and basically, if she stabbed you, you’d thank her.

Also WE STAN a dragon hunter who turns into a dragon lover.

 

4. AM SURPRISED THAT I LOVED YOU??

Look I confess I do read a lot of books I “might not like”, which seems bizarre at first (I am risking wasting time?!) buuut what if I just…really want…to read absolutely everything. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wasn’t sure I’d like Pacifica because I hadn’t liked the author’s previous books, buuuut THIS WAS AMAZING. It’s dystopian and basically has stabby girl trash pirate, the best boy-friendship duo ever (would dIE FOR EACH OTHER platonically) and characters who make and break your heart.

 

5. BEST SASSMASTER

  • Stalking Jack The Ripper — Thomas Cresswell cannot open his mouth without making a quip
  • Bring Me Their Hearts — Zera was so very sassy. She’s under a lot of stress (she’s kind of an undead witch’s slave?!) and she copes by making fun of everything. Relatable content.
  • To Kill A Kingdom — like no one could even help themselves here. Elian and Lira were just in a constant battle of who could be more pithy, aND WE SHIP THIS.

6. BEST ANTI-HERO

EVERYONE IN THE CRUEL PRINCE. Jude and Cardan were so backstabby and the entire fey court was terrifying. I am living for murder-faeries. (Just not, um, living if I am too close to them?? I would die in their world.) But I crave books were the girls are Slytherin and vicious. So this pleases me wondrously.

 

7. THE BEST FRIENDS OF ALL

I always mention The Raven Cycle or my Shadowhunters for this, soooo…accept that they are life goals. And let’s also nominate the squad in The Lady’s Guide To Petticoats And Piracy. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Plus they are an epic girls squad, where Felicity likes to cut up dead things, Joanna is a super fan of animals and will cuddle a dragon, and Sim would stab you and then protec you and how could you not love her ajdfsladklj.

 

 

8. BEST VILLAIN TO HATE

Can we just point to the Demon King from Girls Of Paper And Fire and LOATHE HIM. He’s a despicable rapist, conqueror, and entitled monster. Usually books like this give the villainous men a redemption arc, but NO THE GIRL ACTUALLY GETS SOMEONE GOOD AND DESERVING. Lei and Wren forever ajfdskald, these brilliant girls.

 

9. AWARD FOR THE BEST VS WORST YA PARENTS

BEST ➸ What If It’s Us was super super cute and had also some super annoying issues (for me, anyway) bUT can we point out that it had two sets of supportive and loving parents?!? They were 100% here for their queer sons and it was so heartwarming.

WORST ➸ It is like the absolute opposite of the above in It Looks Like This…parents who are cruel and close-minded and drive their queer kids to terrible heartbreaking things. This was such a hard book to read. (Also pointing out it’s #ownvoices and very important,,,crying)

 

10. SHIP OF ALL SHIPS IN 2018

  • Lei x Wren = Girls of Paper And Fire
  • Mark x Kieren = Lady Midnight/Lord of Shadows (shhh)
  • Tella x Dante = Legendary
  • Sarai x Lazlo = Muse of Nightmares
  • August x Jack = The Wicker King
  • Ronan x Adam = (I read the Opal novella and aww)
  • Andrew x Neil = The Foxhole Court

 

11. MOST PRECIOUS MUST BE PROTECTED

Look I don’t know if I can honestly nominate my own characters without being very very narcissistic. BUT I struggle with the fact it’s ok to flail over your characters when they’re unpublished…so like??? Can I pls still flail? I am still a blogger.

Also Beck, Joey and August need to be protected fROM ME but whatever. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Beck is so Soft™ and just doing his best and is so grumpy until he is fed cake.

 

 

12. HONESTLY SURPRISED YOU’RE STILL ALIVE

Dude I am just putting forth everyone in The Foxhole Court series. Because for Neil, my main question is: HOW. And for Andrew, the fact he hasn’t exploded a national monument with himself standing on top is an actual wonder.

Reasons Neil Might Die = 20% because of ticking of mobsters, 8000% because he got stabbed by the enemy and then Andrew stabbed him again for getting stabbed in the first place.

(LOOK I SWEAR THIS SERIES IS AMAZING. JUST GO WITH IT. OUR FAV PROBLEMATIC DISASTER SONS.)

 

 

13. AWARD FOR MAKING THE WORST DECISIONS

Boomerang was just one long list of bad decisions, with Sean and Trip just needing to pause for a moment. But did they? No. I love them so so much bUT BOYS….THINK ABOUT THIS.

Also Todd from The Knife of Never Letting Go series? (Which I finally finished this year! BEST trilogy. Ruined me.) He is a prime example of someone who is Doing His Best and yet the worst happens.

 

14. MOST IN NEED OF A NAP

Absolutely going to say Jack and August from The Wicker King. I LOVE THIS BOOK. I deeply deeply love this book. I’ve read it twice this year and it just took my heart and…you know, smashed it. But also healed it. Books about being broken and healing are incredibly special. And afjdsladjk they were both so so tired by the end. They need to just take a long nap together, thanks.

 

15. WANT TO READ MORE ABOUT YOU

Absolutely nominating the squad from the Strange The Dreamer duology. I am absolutely starry-eyed and in love with these two books. Best of all ,it finished, but left the world WIDE OPEN. I can see infinite possibilities for more stories and I want them all!! (Especially I want a story about Nero and Calixte and their queer squad.)

A DUOLOGY WASN’T ENOUGH.

 

…the questions if you want them…!

1. Most Relatable Character
2. Most Pure Animal Companion
3. Fiercest Fighter
4. Am Surprised That I Loved You??
5. Best Sassmaster
6. Best Antihero
7. The Best Friends Of All
8. Best Villain To HATE
9. Award For Best vs Worst YA Parents
10. Ship Of All Ships In 2018
11. Most Precious Must Be Protected
12. Honestly Surprised You’re Still Alive
13. Award For Making The Worst Decisions
14. Most In Need Of A Nap
15. Want To Read More About You

do you always struggle to talk about your favourite books enough at the end of the year?? tell me (1) a character/book you’re surprised you loved, and (2) a character you would totally protect

and if you want to do the tag, go ahead!!

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Are You On The Bookish Naughty Or Nice List? (Ft. Confessions…sHHhhh)

I really like making lists and checking them several times and then being judgemental.

So in other news, I would make a GREAT Father Christmas! Although I am much shorter and also crankier and have a dog, so possibly I would make a better Grinch? But ok fine whatever…we’re going to talk about naughty vs nice lists and leave the Grinch out of it because he was actually far too decent to have lists. He went ahead and hated everyone without discrimination. An icon.

I saw this tag on Jenniely’s blog and it looks far too fun AND also Christmassy (which, I suck at being Christmassy so look at me go here).

I feel like I’m going to confess all the things here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ RIP THE OUTCOME OF THIS.

 

RECEIVED AN ARC AND NOT REVIEWED IT → NAUGHTY

At this point, I’m afraid to LOOK AT MY KINDLE. You know the “deer in the headlights” look? That would be me every time someone talks about ARCs and I remember the ones from 2016 I still need to review… I SWEAR I’ll get to these. Soon. I’m actually 15% sure I’ll gift myself a kindle for Christmas so I can finally read on a screen bigger than my iPod. That would help.

Yeah now I feel quite bad. Some are early 2018 but still…how the heck did this happen. And these aren’t all because I’m too ashamed.

HAVE LESS THAN 60% FEEDBACK RATING ON NETGALLEY → NICE!

May I present to you…

BOOM. I am a slack undercooked lettuce broth, but despite that — I am at 93%. Although HA don’t you worry! Everyone still hates me there and everything is still freaking “TO WISH”. What? wHy. If it’s not available to request, why is it on there. Netgalley frustrates me so much I could screeeeeeeeam.

RATED BOOK ON GOODREADS AND PROMISED FULL REVIEW…BUT NEVER DID IT → NAUGHTY

Um, I do say this. Not often! But while I was deciding whether to keep doing negative reviews as an author (ps I decided no…unless it’s heckin’ problematic and I feel the need to call it out), I was leaving some “I’ll come back later!” like the perky liar I am!

I don’t even know if this is a completely shameful or slightly-famous thing to admit, but this is actually THE Hafsah Laziaf who’s coming out with We Hunt The Flame next year which…wasn’t it a 6-figure deal??? FAME. Anyhow, I’m 99% sure We Hunt The Flame will be a bestseller and it’s being mega hyped. So I actually beta-read for her back in 2013 wooo. My tiny claim to fame. But then I’d forgotten too much before she (self?) published Unbreathable so like lmao bury me. (I will review We Hunt The Flame as soon as it comes out though. I AM EXCITED. And I’m not getting any privileges. I’m sure she doesn’t remember me haha.)

FOLDED THE PAGE OF A BOOK → NICE!

I WOULD NEVER.

 

ACCIDENTALLY SPILLED FOOD ON BOOK → NAUGHTY

Alright this was an ACCIDENT. But I was once reading a library book (I do not remember which…but I was young…) and also eating lasagna. I mean, the story can end there, right? You know how this ends. I intended to fork lasagna into my mouth, it fell back onto my plate, sauce went everywhere, the book looked rather like a crime scene had hit it.

I LEARNED. I’M A BETTER PERSON NOW.

DNF’D A BOOK THIS YEAR → NICE!

I don’t DNF because it really bugs me and I end up obsessing about the book. But. I don’t think it’s bad to DNF?! You don’t have to finish books you don’t like! Life is short and you could be eating cheesecake.

 

BOUGHT A BOOK PURELY BECAUSE IT WAS PRETTY WITH NO INTENTION TO READ IT → NAUGHTY

Ohhhhh I was actually typing up: “No way! I wouldn’t do that!” when I remembered…I’VE LITERALLY ORDERED THE SIX OF CROWS COLLECTOR’S EDITION UGHGHG. There is 0% chance I’ll ever read that copy. I own the paperback and I actually prefer it on audio. (The voices are great. 10/10 recommend listening to Kaz be disappointed in you.) So yeah.

Super naughty and not even sad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It’s gorgeous. I’d do pictures by my copy isn’t here yet.

 

READ INSTEAD OF DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT → NAUGHTY

I want to say…who hasn’t. And also give you a fun little list of times I’ve read when I should’ve been doing something else, including:

  • I’ve read instead of doing copy-edits…aCTuaLLy I’m doing that right now (don’t tell my editor)
  • My entire highschool life was reading > doing actual school work.
  • I remember being about 8 and reading instead of joining in Christmas festivities lmao. (It was Tintin! Tintin is everything.)
  • I’m currently rereading Lady Midnight (for the 3rd time!) instead of facing my life problems! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

SKIM READ A BOOK → NAUGHTY

I do this all the time and I’m not even ashamed. This is my deal with myself instead of DNF’ing. I finish the book but I skim the boring parts. And OH look at me and say you haven’t skimmed prose sometimes to get to the good dialogue. I SEE YOU. I KNOW.

(Or else I’m a super shady little smidge and alone in this…oops.)

 

FAILED YOUR GOODREADS GOAL → NICE!

NEVER. Although this is the part where I confess I give myself a lower goodreads goal than I know I can achieve — so I can overachieve and be very self-satisfied.

Although not this year. I’ve struggled to keep up my 200 books goal, mostly because I’ve alternated between edits and depression sitting on my head. Both are uncomfortable. I read through A Thousand Perfect Notes SO MANY TIMES THIS YEAR, it got to the point where I wanted to fling myself 60000ft into space.

In other news! ATPN is very well edited! You should read it!

 

BROKE A BOOK BUYING BAN → NICE!

I’ve never broken a ban! Because I’ve never been on one.

I just accept myself for who I am: a hoarder.

 

FINISHED A BOOK BUT DIDN’T ADD IT TO GOODREADS → NICE!

Here’s the true confession: I update Goodreads obsessively religiously. It’s the first thing I do! I love my stats, my updates, shelving things, arranging books in pretty categories and rows. It makes me so gleefully happy, I can’t even.

I know people like to say “it’s not about the numbers” but…THE NUMBERS BRING ME SUCH JOY. I find it just as satisfying to write down reading stats as I do to read. Let me live my happy happy life.

 

LEFT A REVIEW TOO LONG AND FORGOT THE BOOK→ NAUGHTY

OH YES. In fact, I did that just this year with What If It’s Us! I read an eARC like 3 months early and did the, “Oh I’ll review this later haha,” and…did not. But I needed to blog it, so I had to reread. That book actually makes me so — arGHSgh tWISTY — because (A) I love it, and it makes me laugh, and it’s funny and cute and relatable…but also (B) WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT CONCLUSION. I’m pretending the prologue didn’t exist.

Anyway.

I have feelings about What If It’s Us, can we tell. And I have read it twice this year. Win? Fail? We’re not sure.

 

SO AM I NAUGHTY OR NICE?

7 = Naughty
6 = Nice

Ok guess it’s life with the Grinch after all, wow, I missed out on going to The Good Place by like 1. This is so typical of me.

hey ya! would you be naughty or nice for these bookish sins? and do you have any ARCs you feel sooo bad about not having read yet? what are your thoughts on skim-reading? and do you update Goodreads ALL the time or forget?

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Do YA Books Have Too Much Romance? (Ft. List of YA Books With No Romance!)

If you ask “Is this a kissing book?” while pointing to a YA novel, the answer is usually: yes.

Finding a YA book that doesn’t include romance AT ALL is pretty much like spotting a wild faun and convincing it to make tea for you and nOT sell your soul to a random witch. It happens. But only to a lucky few of us. The rest get sold to the witch. Smh. Look at the state of society today. Witches will buy anything.

Now the conversation about whether this is good or bad comes up a lot. Which is fair! We bloggers like to gloriously dissect everything (insert happy flail) but there are SO many valid points to both side of the argument. And so I’d like to present to you one of my very lovely INDECISIVE LISTS where I talk about both sides to the kissing books and also use the word “nomance” because no one said I can’t. And even if someone said to stop, I wouldn’t. Because NOMANCE IS A THING. LET ME LIVE.

I must that I, for one, am about as romantic as a piece of bread. So it pleases me greatly to find nomance books. Yet that saying I have TONS of ships I would fight to eternity for. I ship ships that shouldn’t be shipped ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and would angrily throw a fig in a lake if an author killed off my favourite couples. Let them kiss and be hAPPY, you coward.

But the trouble is the ratio fo YA with romance vs YA without romance is…unbalanced. To say the least.

 

WHY NOMANCE BOOKS ARE IMPORTANT

➸ not all readers want or even need romance (and it’s really important, especially for teens who don’t want sexual romantic relationships, to know there’s nothing wrong with that)


➸ it’s actually heckin’ annoying to read a book where tHE wOrLD is ending and now we’re caught up in a pointless love square with lots of hormones and tension. It makes the stakes of the book seem flippant.


➸ some teens?!?! don’t have time?!?! for romance. Between school + jobs + being a druid idk what kids do these days = it’s hard to find time to find a decent human you don’t want to hit with a fork.


➸ not everyone meets their soulmate in their teens. (I personally have no interest in romantic relationships, but seriously all the boys I knew in my teens were gross??? How do all these teens in books find Peter Kavinskys and Blue Sargents???)


➸ books that put friendship first and foremost instead are super special and needed!! Without complicating them with unnecessary romances!!


➸ the amount of times romance doesn’t even fit with the book is unbelievable. Don’t stuff in romance. No one likes bad stuffing okay. Not even dead turkeys.


➸ it’s super important to have characters who are whole and happy and fulfilled without finding a love interest. You’re not “alone” if you don’t fall in love!! FRIENDS. FAMILY. YOUR PET PYTHON IF YOU ARE SLYTHERIN. All are important.


➸ look I’ll say it…sometimes society has an unhealthy obsession with romance. It would be nice if we could CHILL on thinking it is The Everything Of Life™. (I just came back to add this after seeing a post of people shipping their three year olds. And hearing someone discuss a male/female friendship duo and how they were clearly “in love” because they spent so much time together. BOTH of these are super problematic but yet not uncommon. ARgh.)

WHY ROMANCE IS ALSO STILL IMPORTANT

➸ lots of people absolutely love reading it! adore it with every fibre of their being! I’d hazard a guess that more people like romance vs people don’t like romance in stories = and this would show up in publishing stats and book sales too (which pretty much rule what kind of books get published).


➸ diverse romance representation is sooo important. Because the world has coded the POC/queer/disabled/ill people as “undesirable” for so despicably long that we NEED to see these people falling in love too. In romcoms and fantasy worlds!

➸ look it is a good subplot…wondering who will get together and if they’ll kiss or stab each other. We don’t KNOW. Exciting. And when people list favourite tropes, you better believe ones like “there was only one bed!” come up super fast. Often romance sucks IRL because there are no Blue Sargents in your vicinity to love (seriously what is wrong with real life) so people actually want to see cute couples get together and be happy!


➸ it’s good that now a lot of problematic romance tropes are being dismantled! There are WAY less possessive and gross boys in YA. We neeeeeed books with healthy romances to model for readers (especially younger teens) and good discussion on boundaries and being safe and communication etc.


➸ it’s also good to show messy romances in books too, because most teens don’t stay with their lover from highschool. So reading about a breakup or working through a tough issue can be helpful. Also probably like opening a papercut and pouring lemon juice on it bUT ANYWAY.


➸ sometimes? it just cute (seriously, I love reading soft cute and shy romances!!! I wrote one!)

 

also pet peeve?! I hate it when people ask for non-romance or very very mild romances, but phrase it as “i want clean books”… romance isn’t dirty. Can we lay that one to rest thanks. You can dislike reading romance or sex without making it sound evil.

But hey, since they’re hard to find…I’m going to merrily list some YA Books With NO Romance!

I did a list like this back in 2015 but we’re due for an update, right?! Also joining in the TTT prompt of: Platonic Relationships In Books.

All the covers link to goodreads too! Speaking of which, I have a goodreads shelf specifically for this.

NOMANCE

                               

 

NOTE: there are some side romances in some of these, but not for the protagonist.  

tell me all your feels about this! should YA feature more platonic relationships? can you add any recs to my list?? have you ever read a book where you wished it didn’t have the romance? haha And do you think YA is doing better with featuring diverse romances ??

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Should We Blog About Backlist Titles More Often? (Ft. Books I Should’ve Read By Now…My Baaaad)

Every so often it occurs to me that there are more books than just the shiny new ones.

This is wild information and constantly astounding. I forget there are books published before, like, 2014 when I got super into reading YA and blogging. FANCY THAT. And, as a blogging community, we do tend to all talk about the new books. What’s just released. What’s coming up. What is shiniest. What ARCs we have. What cakes we ate for breakfast because cake is the new cereal.

(Ok I admit the last thing is off-topic but very important.)

Mostly I don’t think it’s a huge shame if I mostly new books. I have lots of good reasons! And I will slide my list covertly under the table to you because you asked so nicely.

 

  • newer books are actually more readily available
  • SO many titles go out of print so fast, and this is sad !! but what can one do
  • if you’re low on funds —> getting the opportunity to review books for free is super helpful (and obviously this is only for new books!)
  • having a blogosphere all excited about the most recent super cool release turns our community into a HUGE BOOK CLUB and this is fun!!
  • look i want to celebrate new authors (imagine excitedly and nervously tumbling your work into the world to be met with dead silence?! noooo. here is some cake! and I will flail over you!!)
  • new books are shiny and I’m a dragon so what more can I say

I also love reading newer books because they deal with current issues.

Yes lots of old books are timeless. But sometimes I pick up a title published in 2009 and am smacked in the face with really ableist gross language, problematic diversity rep, and tropes I’m 100000% done with (IMMORTAL HOT AGGRESSIVELY MACHO BOYFRIENDS…GO AWAY). The old tropes are existing fair — they weren’t tired back then. But YA has done wonderfully marvellous things with diversity now that it wasn’t doing 10 years ago. And hey…I want to read diverse books.

I want to read about sharp girls and books critiquing the social climate and I want #ownvoices narratives and disabled heroes and POC characters not to be the background people who die off. I don’t want to see Bury Your Gays. I absolutely DO want to read diverse romances and more books written by women.

None of this is to say that older stories are bad! Many are timeless gems. Many are invaluable.

But I do think I’m more drawn to newer books and I’m not ashamed about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And if you don’t think cover art has also gotten 10000000 x better and I am 1000000% shallow enough to consider this a viable reason to buy new books — THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. Still not ashamed for this one, but probably should be tbh.

But here’s the thing: I want to read ALL THE BOOKS and I’m terrified of missing out on a good one: old or not.

So backlist books?! Yes. I still want to read you, even if I’m more drawn to the newer ones. Some I want to read because I’m terribly curious. Some I want to read because they used to be famous and missed that wild hype wave so, excuse me, I need to tagalong 10 years too late.

Now here let me introduce you to (1) backlist books I reeeally should’ve read by now and (2) backlist books I probably WON’T ever read!

Which is also part fo the Top Ten Tuesday prompt: backlist books I want to read! But, ya know, rebel me, I’m doing the inverse as well. I cannot be stopped. *

 

* I mean this is a blatant lie. I can be stopped if you give me left vs right directions because I will have to pause and consider this for like 2 minutes while staring at my hands. Also if you lay cupcakes about, I am forced to collect them. Ergo I CAN be stopped but please don’t tell my enemies.

           

        

psssst shout out if I’ve got anything on this list that I must ABSOLUTELY CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT AND READ (!!)

 

ok tell me a backlist title you’ll NEED to read and one you probably will NEVER read?! and do you prefer new vs older books?? or are you tired of everyone reading the same new releases?

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Let Me Creep Up On You || Ft. Creepy Things In Books I Love VS Hate!

I kept staring at the title of my post thinking, “Is that too creepy???” But eh I’m going with it.

Gets us all ready for today’s glorious LIST of creeptastic things. I assume this is in the spirit of Halloween which I would like to mention I don’t celebrate. Now that fact might be slightly odd considering I do like paranormal things and woods that eat people and shadows that slither out at night and grab your ankles. BUT! I am Australian. Halloween is a very Northern Hemisphere thing. Like it’s not even autumn for us. How can you celebrate harvest when we are gearing up for allergies and spring?!?

IT IS NONSENSE.

However. I still want to be creepy write a creepy post. So here I am. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I thought I’d creepily throw at you:

CREEPY THINGS I LOVE TO READ VS ONES I HATE

I mean you can “love” some creepy stuff, right??? That’s not weird??? It’s not like I have skeletons in my closet or am a part-time necromancer. (I’m a full time necromancer thank you very much.) Everything is fine, nothing to see here.

I also feel like it’s worth noting I don’t really read horror! I have watched Supernatural though and when I started some episodes really terrified me. Then I got old and “eh” about the horror parts. But I really haven’t read any traditional horror! Unless Coraline counts?!

 

Top Ten Tuesday || Halloween/Creepy Freebie

1. SINISTER FAERIES CREEPING OUT OF THE WOODWORK

Let’s take a moment to doubly confirm: FAERIES ARE SUPER CREEPY. They’re so ethereal and deadly gorgeous and enjoy playing with people and then ripping them up, either emotionally or physically. Like, options here! If a book does faeries right, then they should be equal parts disturbing and entrancing. I AM ENTRANCED. I LOVE IT. Bring me the immortal creepy gorgeous queens and hobgoblins and kings of the dead. Briiiiing it.

2. SUPER CREEPY CHILDREN

Ok but kids in general are creepy. Sometimes they just stare at you or you give them scissors and glitter to do craft and think: “Yes, this is how I die.”

But I do have a total softness for the super creepy kids who turn up in books. Minya from Strange the Dreamer is a recent favourite since she’s stuck-as-a-child and catches ghosts souls and wILL MURDER YOU AAAAALL for wronging her. But yes, I will read about the disturbing children you are dead or eat your face or stare at you with big round eyes and start singing a freaky song.

3. CREEPY DARK FORESTS

YESSSS I LOVE THESE!! There is nothing quite like “THOSE” woods where people go in and don’t come out. And things claw out of the earth. And the witches make snacks. This is 10000% of the reason I will never leave the house also. So thanks, forests! You can keep the fresh air! I will keep alive, inside!

4. GHOSTS!

Aww bUT THEY’RE KIND OF CUTE!! I’ll just throw myself into the arms of Timekeeper and my ghosts in the clocktowers and also at The Raven Cycle with the softest ghosts who, yes, do the most creepy things on occasion. But who are ultimately soft. I love ghosts. I maintain there aren’t enough ghost stories?! I WANT MORE SOFT SWEET GHOSTS. (This sounds like an ice cream order, but fine.)

5. ALL-POWERFUL DARK FORCE OUT TO GETCHA

Especially the ones that don’t have bodies yet, because: that stuff is CREEPY AS HECK. I’m particularly thinking of Osaron in A Conjuring Of Light and his whole “I NEED A BODY AND THEN I’M MAKING THE WORLD RIP ITSELF APART.” Steady on there, mate. I need popcorn before you begin.

No but really, I also find this terrifying…like you can’t look away from it?! They seem so all-powerful and impossible defeat it’s terrifying.

1. APOCALYPTIC DISEASES AND SICKNESS 

I CAN’T DO IT. PLEASE TAKE IT AWAY. This just lights up my anxiety like the kind of Christmas Tree that explodes in your face. I watched this movie about the world dying from a fast-spreading disease and I DIDN’T SLEEP AGAIN. Ever. Ughgghghg. I can’t do it. It’s so out of control. (And cOULD HAPPEN?????)

2. HUGE AGE-GAPS IN RELATIONSHIPS

Well isn’t this one not like the others.

But seriously, this is creepy. Don’t pretend it’s not. Especially if they’re teens. There’s not a huge developmental or life difference between being 30 and 35. But there IS between being 15 and 20 (not to mention illegal?!?!?) so please take these books away from me where one part is 10000 years old and the other is sixteen. 

I also watched Call Me By Your Name and am still asking how that is not predatory. RIGHTO.

3. SOMETHING IS IN THE WALLS / UNDER THE BED

jUST pLeASe DON’T. Omg. This freaks me out. I am definitely the person who doesn’t hang their limb over the edge of the bed!! Forget that my bed is on the floor. Evil doesn’t have to have dimension ok, it can still get me.

And things in the walls??? I don’t like it. I want out. Do not rattle things around in the basement or attic or walls or floorboards unless you want me screaming for 24 hours at the book.

4. ASYLUMS

This is also because I loathe even the IDEA of asylums and how despicable all the 1800s ones were. Also because it’s ridiculous. Any book that features an asylum IS GOING TO BE HAUNTED. And yet we have a gaggle of people going, “Yeah! Let’s put a school in an old asylum!”

I get it. You want the kids to get eaten. Stop acting surprised when everyone’s clawing out their eyes.

5. FALLING INTO GOOP

I JUST…NOT WITH THE TOUCHING THINGS. Like when they stick their hand in the residue of the monster?! Or start sinking in like this gross globby mire that sucks them down??? I throw up. (It’s worth noting I am very sensory sensitive so anything sensory offence is going to crawl up my skin and kILL ME if I’m reading.)

Just get it offfffff.

okay give me your list! some creepy things you LIKE to be freaked out by and ones you genuinely avoid because noooooope. do you agree with any of mine? (and link me to your TTTs if you want!)

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Villains Award Tag || Should Villains Be Pure Evil Or Redeemable?

I admit I have an awful fondness for villains, antiheroes and antagonists.

Oh don’t look at me like that, I can see your fondness for the dark side reflected in your little eyes. I mean, part of this is the cookies (especially if they’re chocolate) and part of it is the intrigue of the human psyche. Why is a villain the way they are? Are they in it for the chaos or have they justified murder or are they merely an “antagonist” who is doing nothing wrong in the scheme of the world except getting in the hero’s way???

Villains intrigue us.

And they have cookies. So I don’t know what to tell you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but I’m here for it.

Alright so very randomly, I’m throwing together a Villains Award Tag for the sole reason that it fits the Top Ten Tuesday prompt and I want to.

Totally take this for your own blogs too!

Just link back to meeee. And nominate whatever villains YOU want to fill the categories!

VILLAIN YOU ABSOLUTELY DESPISE AND HATE

Look I realise this is my own tag and it is quite terrible to struggle on the first question. But I don’t read a lot of books with Big Unredeemable Villains that really get me riled up. I mean obviously there’s Voldemort, Umbridge, and President Snow…but like newer ones??? I had to think.

Possibly going to go for ALL the villains in The Foxhole Court series. Neil’s dad was a mob boss who totally was down to murder his son and Riko enjoyed torturing without killing. And like?!?! How dare you touch Neil. How dare you. I will sick Andrew on you and then you’ll be sorry.

VILLAIN WHO IS ENTRANCING

Omgggg THE CARAVAL AND LEGENDARY VILLAINS. My opinion on them is just a long long line of !!!!!!!!!!!!

They’re deliciously tricky because everything IS A GAME and it’s impossible to know whose interests they have in mind. They’re cursed and morally grey and wickedly intriguing. I hate things they do, and I also want to know WHY THEY DO IT. But seriously: Jacks and Dante. Yes.

Also Schwab’s Villain series!?? I can’t even with how much I love it. Eli Ever and Victor Vale are usually unapologetically DARK VILLANIOUS SOULS but you can’t even look away. And then I went and felt sorry for Eli in Vengeful. These little sociopathic super-powered monsters…I can’t even. I should not feel the things I feel. How dare you.

BOOK YOU’D LIKE TO READ FROM THE VILLAIN’S PERSPECTIVE

Is Cardan from The Cruel Prince a villain?? I don’t even know by this point. I think everyone in that book is a backstabbing villain and you love it because they’re all so morally ambiguous it’s impossible to know if (a) did u stab him for a good reason, (b) did u stab him for a bad reason, and lastly (c) DOES IT MATTER, U STILL STABBED HIM, MATE?????

Anyway. I would happily read The Cruel Prince again from Cardan’s perspective. This fills me with vicious delight.

WORST ANTAGONISTIC YA PARENTS

That moment when I nominate The Maestro out of A Thousand Perfect Notes which I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE WRITTEN. But alright, hear me out: if you’re going to spend 7 years trying to get published, and it happens, you just end up going on and on about it.

You love me, shh. Don’t leave.

Anyway the Maestro is despicable. She abuses Beck to motivate him into being “great” which is a massive parenting fail. Oh yes Beck is a great pianist, now, thanks…WITH CRIPPLING ANXIETY, WELL DONE, MOTHER.

ANTIHERO WHO IS A LITTLE BAD, LITTLE GOOD

It’s the THIEVES. I confess. Show me a book with thieves in it and I will fall over myself being accidentally in love with their schemes and cons and slight soft sides.

Let me just hit you with my thieving love list:

  • Kaz from Six of Crows
  • Locke from The Lies Of Locke Lamora
  • Levi from Ace of Shades
  • Lila Bard from A Darker Shade of Magic
  • “Daniel” from Here Lies Daniel Tate (omg we never know his real name)
  • Cassel from The Curseworker trilogy

VILLAIN MADE FROM TRAGIC CIRCUMSTANCES

Dresden from Keeper Of The Bees is technically a “villain” because his paranormal power is to sow madness and discord (which he gains energy from to live). It’s kind of BAD TO STING PEOPLE so they turn insane. But yet…he is…actually soft™ and cursed. He didn’t choose this life omg…

Oh and also Sebastian from the Shadowhunter series. Look he was MADE into a villain by his wicked father Valentine. I actually feel really bad for him gahhhh.

ANTAGONIST WHO GETS IN HERO’S WAY BUT ISN’T NECESSARILY “PURE EVIL”

I think it’s fair to point out that not all antagonists are pure evil!! Like Minya from Strange the Dreamer. Like you look at her, catching ghosts soul’s and threatening to murder cities and think:

“OK, Cait??? Um. You need help.”

But LOOK. She witnessed a massacre at 6 years old and has spent her entire life force on keeping the surviving babies alive and looked after and!! All she wants is to protect them!!! She is the ultimate Slytherpuff and you can fite me but I love Minya and all her stabbiness.

A NON-HUMAN VILLAIN

Society sucks. In general. So it’s very easy to point to it for being a non-human villain so so often. Particularly in contemporaries like The Hate U Give which speaks out against racism and police brutality. UGH THIS BOOK WILL MAKE AND BREAK YOUR HEART.

 

VILLAIN WHO YOU THINK IS WICKED BUT THEY’RE INTRIGUING

omg not even going to lie, I LOVE Piper Greenmantle from The Raven Cycle. She’s just so Slytherin she could turn into a snake and no one would even be surprised. I mean, I hate her. But she’s so unapologetically self-serving, it’s fascinating?!

And also The Jackal from the Red Rising series. I HATE HIM. But he’s a treacherous little creep and I’m forever intrigued by his plans and goals and he’s so BACK STABBY. He is so good at being bad ok.

ANTAGONIST WHO GETS A REDEMPTION ARC

First off: AIDAN who is a slightly terrifying AI system with a god complex and crush on a human girl aaaaaand would mass murder the multitudes. But OK YOU SORT OF END UP LIKING HIM A LITTLE. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ He really is designed to protect people, and if that means killing off 100,000 of them…well he does it. He is not…good. But omg he comes through magnificently in Obsidio.

And Holland from A Darker Shade Of Magic. Hollaaaaaand. I mean, I can’t even. I never hated him, even in book 1 where he was a burnt box of disagreeable cornflakes the whole time. But by book 3, when you find his backstory and his motives, I just…it’s ok (crying) I forgive you for nearly murdering Kell 1 or 29 times. YOU’RE JUST DOING YOU’RE BEST (crying).

QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO TAKE

1. Villain You Absolutely DESPISE And HATE.
2. Villain Who Is Entrancing
3. Book You’d Like To Read From Villain’s Perspective
4. Worst Antagonistic YA Parents
5. Antihero Who Is a Little Bad, Little Good
6. Villain Made From Tragic Circumstances
7. Antagonist Who Gets In Hero’s Way But Isn’t Necessarily “Pure Evil”
8. A Non-Human Villain
9. Villain Who You Think Is Wicked But They’re Intriguing
10. Antagonist Who Gets A Redemption Arc

 

okay what’s your FAVOURITE type of villain to read!? the pure evil ones? the redeemable ones? the antiheroes?? tell me a villain you’ll NEVER forgive and one you’ve totally forgiven!!

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10 Books I’m Terrified of Because They’re So Loooooooong

Two of my top fears in life are (1) rotting exploded pumpkins, and (2) very very long books.

Don’t even get me started on my pumpkin explosion story ok, because it’s traumatic and I’m still withering from the disgusting smell. Also it happened while I was home alone, therefore dousing the pantry with cleaner to try and get rid of the odour while considering renting a kayak and disappearing into the mountain river system.

Anyway.

We’re actually here to talk about books, believe it or not (since apparently I DO run a book blog). And I have said it quite a few times but: I AVOID LONG BOOKS. It is a bit ridiculous because I’ll read two 300-page books in 2 days but I hate reading one 600-page book in 2 days. Does it make sense? No. Will I eventually out grow this and get some sense? Also no.

(ILLOGICAL) REASONS I AVOID LONG BOOKS

  • I actually have lost my attention span as I get older wow were did it go.
  • I like ticking off my TBR fast ah ahah, sorry, this is a terrible confession. But I can tick off 2 smaller books faster = makes me feel industrious.
  • Most long books just seem to draaaag. Like if you can’t say it fast, then I WANT TO KNOW WHY.
  • They’re huge and my hands are so smol.
  • They’re DAUNTING.
  • Seriously, it could’ve been edited much shorter…
  • If I don’t like the book = I’m stuck with it forever because I finish everything I read ugh.
  • If I drop one on my face while reading, I will die.

However I DO like a lot of long books and I DO have a lot of long books on my TBR that I want to read!! But am avoiding them!! Which leads us to:

Let me just list 10 Really Long Books that I haven’t read yet, but WANT TO SOMEDAY.

Probably. And also yes I’m aware 500pages is probably not “long” to some people, but it is to me so laugh at me, ok, but softly as I am delicate.

 

Top Ten Tuesday [Longest Books I’ve Ever Read]…I’m twisting the prompt just a little. REBELLION ARRIVES.

 

1. THE ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE

Page Count: 490

Okay laugh at me, because this isn’t even 500 pages sO WHAT AM I WHINING ABOUT??? Well, sir, I whine about everything. Just give me a chance and I will come through. But I also just find epic fantasy really daunting at the moment. Getting into worlds and staying focused…ahhhh. Watch my brain fritz.

However I fully intend to start some Hobb books soon because my friend adores them!!

2. THE SECRET HISTORY

Page Count: 600

So I’m not even sure I’d like this because it’s adult and kind of literary isn’t it??? But I’ve heard it’s about dysfunctional teen squads and the blurb also indicates they all end up betraying and corrupting each other which is honestly what I am here for. SLYTHERINS??? DO I SEE YOU???

I’m so so undecided about this one bUT YET…

 

 

3. REPLICA

Page Count: 520

I actually got this one at a library sale for 50cents!! And it is so huge…so so huge. I actually love a love/hate relationship with Lauren Oliver books so I will probably just look at this one and scream vaguely at it for the next 15 years.

Why must it be so long though.

 

 

4. JONATHAN STRANGE & MR. NORRELL

Page Count: 1,006

Why are adult book covers so freaking boring though. It’s like all the cover designers got together and were all: “Ok adulthood sucks so let’s make sure book covers reflect that so no one thinks there’s any possibility of fun.”

Anyway. This is about books isn’t it? I’m 99% sure it’s about books and magic and that is what I aspire to in life. BUT AT 1000 FLIPPING PAGES LONG. what the heck and why the heck.

5. TALES FROM THE SHADOWHUNTER ACADEMY

Page Count: 670

Now I’m just being a little wilted daisy here because I love Shadowhunter books. ALL OF THEM. I’m so obsessed with Lady Midnight and that series is clocking well about 600 per book.

But yet (sobbing) I’m just finding it hard to start this one because it’s so looooong.

I shall procrastinate a little more until it, perhaps, gets smaller over time. This seems logical.

6. CITY OF BRASS

Page Count: 533

I mean look at that freaking cover!! LOOK AT IT!! This book is so pretty you would name your kid after it! Or, like, your goldfish or something. But moving forward! I was so excited for it until I got an ARC in an Illumicrate box and…it…is…huge.

I keep waiting for it to magically transfer its words —> to my head —> without me stressing over the page count, but it has yet to happen. Rude.

 

7. BRIDGE OF CLAY

Page Count: 592

Look at these adult covers go again. DO WE NOT DESERVE GLITTER WHEN WE ARE OVER THE AGE OF 25???? But regardless, I was so lucky to get sent a surprise ARC of this and … I’m only slightly panicking that I haven’t read it yet. I was going to read this via audio (I find long books much more manageable that way) SO THIS CRISIS ISN’T EVEN MY FAULT.

Also my ARC says “most anticipated book of the decade” and pfft, um, excuse you? My book was the most anticipated of the decade. I mean, for me and my dog and my mum probably. But still. Settle down there, Clay.

8. BEFORE SHE IGNITES

Page Count: 480

I could’ve sworn this would’ve been like seventy billion pages long because the hardcover sure looks like it? Anyway. Apparently not. Apparently I’m panicking over nothing.

I actually got this in an Owlcrate box and it’s about DRAGONS so whyyyyy have I failed my own good name and not read it?! It’s not even over 500 omg.

 

9. THE QUEENS OF INNIS LEAR

Page Count: 570

Ok to be fair, I actually (1) used to think this was YA but it isn’t, and (2) I realised reading a retelling of King Lear might not make sense if you don’t know the original, um, at all.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’M SMART, I TELL YOU. So I was going to buy this one, but it’s being pushed further and further to the bottom of my list.

I don’t know if I’ll ever read it?? Or if I will just complain recreationally.

 

10. THE PRIORY OF THE ORANGE TREE

Page Count: 840

Now this isn’t out till February 2019!! So It’s not like it’s on my TBR actively yet. But I’m so torn?!! I didn’t like The Bone Season but tHIS HAS DRAGONS. And the author is awesome on twitter, making me feel like an overturned codfish for not liking The Bone Season. I realise I don’t make sense, shh.

When I get back from panicked sobbing about the fREAKING PAGE COUNT I will probably try and read this! It has DRAGONS and hopefully oranges which are delicious. I don’t actually understand the title at all…? But I do love orange.

And psst before you go, just know that I DO love some long books incredibly much! I’m not a total limp seaweed spiral! So here are some I’ve read and adored and wouldn’t miss a page.

       

 

hey! chat with me!

do you like or avoid long books? what do you consider a daunting page count?? tell me which of these are still on your TBR too?! should i hurry up and read some?? HELP

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10 Authors I’ve Actually Talked To (Without Freaking Out And Vanishing) Part 2

As I’ve said quite often: authors are mystical beings whom I revere and therefore avoid talking to at all costs.

I should also mention two things here: (1) I am an author, so I am in the midst of avoiding myself at all costs, and (2) I misspelled “mystical” and autocorrect wanted me to go with “hysterical” and I’m like…where is the lie.

Most authors = mystical wondrous beings.
Me, as an author = hYSTERICAL

Now I’m also very very very shy. Many people don’t believe me when I say it, because I’m very outgoing online, but I’ve worked up to this! Talking to people in real life?!? AH HAHAHA HA NO. So when other bookworms are all “Oh I’m dying to meet my favourite author”…I am over here, dying to not meet anyone. (I have social anxiety eep.)

Online I am marginally better at making connections. All my very closest friends are people I’ve met exclusively online. And I WILL work up courage now and then to talk to authors. Although I most adore them from a distance. I mean that’s the obvious conclusion right??? If you admire someone you absolutely and entirely IGNORE THEM.

Self five.

Now it’s time to tell you about 10 Online Author Interactions I’ve had that didn’t end up with me turning into demon smoke and vanishing. Which is a very very real thing I do.

This is actually a part 2! And you can see part 1 here, where I confess to talking to Cornelia Funke, Jennifer Niven, Derek Landy, and Leigh Bardugo on twitter in the past. (Spoiler: I DIED.)

 

I’m also twisting the Top Ten Tuesday prompt of “Authors I’d Love to Meet”  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

1. LAINI TAYLOR

So no big deal but LAINI THE QUEEN TAYLOR congratulated me on my debut novel’s release and I just….!!!!! I mean she also follows me on twitter and this is totally unrelated to me becoming a truly dedicated fan who would be eaten by a leviathan in some far mystical realm for her. Totally unrelated.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(No but seriously. As a debut author who largely gets ignored by most writers now for reasons I am completely lost by…THIS means everything.)

2. AKEMI DAWN BOWMAN

She’s also a new(ish) author too and I know has anxiety so I thought, “Ok!! Anxious people unite!” Which is hilarious considering anxious people do not unite…we hide from each other. But regardless, when Akemi posted about some things she wished she’d known in her debut year (a totally encouraging and incredible post by the way) I actually replied and said how helpful the post was!

AND SHE REPLIED BACK.

Awww!! And she’s excited about my book, which (by the by) you should read Starfish because it is actually a little similar to A Thousand Perfect Notes. They would make good friends.

3. KAYLA ANCRUM

Now you ALL KNOW how much I adore and love The Wicker King to the point where I’ve read it twice this year and frequently look at it upon my bookshelves and let out a high, keening wail. (This is true love, obviously.) I never actually tag the author in all my flails because I am shy. So shy. So ridiculously shy…

Anyhow, this happened:

I’M SOBBING. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. (Also 10000% respect that her author photo doesn’t face the camera either. Kinship here omg.)

(Also I find it hilarious how I’m like “Oh authors won’t see me being a flailing fangirl haha!” when I, as an author, search hashtags for my books to spy on people flailing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It’s like my logic has holidays, and these holidays are 363 days of the year.)

4. JAY KRISTOFF

He’s really cool ok and famous and I think as tall as 17 people on top of each other. I think I must’ve been fuelled by the power of the new moon (when I am at my strongest) because I replied to a tweet of his randomly. (I think his reply was just a laugh but I only screeshot this much.)

ALSO EVERYONE ELSE THINKS I’M FUNNY TOO I GUESS.

(Also the audio of Nevernight truly is fantastic but also not something you listen to while eating lunch, as I discovered while wondering why my sandwich wasn’t so appealing whilst listening to gory bloodbath scenes.)

5. NEIL GAIMAN

This is absolutely cheating because a retweet doesn’t count as an “author interaction”. But WHO CARES. NEIL GAIMAN RETWEETED ME THIS ONE TIME AND I IMMEDIATELY FOUND THE DOOR TO ANOTHER DARK DIMENSION AND GREW MAGIC BUTTON EYES.

6. RACHEL CAINE

I was super lucky to be on the blog tour for her latest book, Smoke & Iron, and might’ve fangirled quite a little in my blog post. And by “quite a little”, I mean “I splattered my flailing all over the place.”

I hopefully can work this into, like, my resume or something. SKILLS INCLUDE: MAKING AUTHORS SNORT THEIR MORNING COFFEE WHILE LAUGHING. I have peaked.