Paper Fury

For safety’s sake, it is very important to take a book with you wherever you go.

You might need it to protect yourself from an unexpected apocalypse, or use it as a disguise to hold in front of your face while you flee a crime scene, or use it to save a seat, or read it or (most importantly) hide behind it if someone tries to talk to you.

Now I actually don’t like reading outside the house, because I don’t like outside the house. (Like why is it there????) However, I do always bring a book! Or 3 or 7! Never know what will happen so be prepared, right?! And I thought today would be a great time to tell you about some books I have read when someone pried my cold dead claws off my house and dragged me outside.

I’m also notoriously proud of myself for even remembering which books I’ve read where, because I have the memory of a fractured cantaloupe.

Top Ten Tuesday: Books That Awaken the Travel Bug In Me…and look, this sort of fits the prompt??! Let’s go with this, I’m doing great.

1. ROYAL BASTARDS → READ IN A TENT IN BUNDABERG

This was nearly a year ago exactly! And I recall being so proud of myself for actually reading an eARC on time. This never happens!! I clearly was not myself!! Anyway, I also remember vividly reading this while camping because we were moving house, aka 2000kms away, and our freaking car bROKE DOWN.

So we were stuck in the middle of the Australian East coast, in a caravan park, with our furniture who knows where…and I read Royal Bastards.

Which was quite funny and good and I liked it! I also blinded myself using my kindle as my only light in a pitch black tent. So that’s Reason #98928 I hate camping.

2. TWO TOWERS → READ IN NANING, CHINA

Look I say “read” loosely, because I literally took this book as my only read to China * …(this has got to be like 8 or so years ago) to FORCE MYSELF TO READ IT. I ended up watching Despicable Me on a like 10cm wide MP3 player screen 60 times instead to just avoid the freaking thing.

This News Just In: TOLKIEN IS A NO FOR ME.

I also hate Despicable Me now???? hOW unforeseen, Cait, good job. Anyway, I at least read about half of it before I died and my ghost ascended so this counts.

* And yes this was my only overseas trip! My family went for 1 month because I had a sister living there and there was much to enjoy and also so many people and I’m kind of traumatised and will never never never travel again.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. THE FOXHOLE COURT TRILOGY → ON A ROADTRIP

In February we took a roadtrip down to visit my sister in NSW and I read these on the way. And by “read” I mean: I SUDDENLY GOT OBSESSED AND WANTED TO DO NOTHING BUT READ AND READ AND NO ONE TALK TO ME I AM A BOOK.

Also roadtripping + reading = very hard for me as I get carsick. So it’s more like “reading while my dad stops to get coffee” or “reading while my parents set up the caravan” or “reading at night in a tent because none can stop me”.

(Also I maybe just bought the paperbacks of these from American Amazon and literally sold my unborn first 9 children to cover postage. But WORTH IT.)

4. LONG WAY DOWN → IN A COFFEE SHOP

This book is actually in poetry-format so it’s so so short and you can totally read like HALF while waiting for your coffee order to come in!! This is amazing because by the time your coffee gets there, you’ve destroyed your heart and soul and mind reading this gut-wrenching book.

Good job, me. Very smart. Always read grief stories in public. What could go wrong.

5. DIVERGENT → SOME TEEANGERDOM CAMPING TRIP

I don’t even remember honestly why we went (this was in 2013 I think?)…even though “UGH WHY” is my first reaction whenever someone says the word “camping”. Look I’m not trying to be dramatic, but WE HAVE HOUSES AND WHY SHOULD WE LEAVE THEM TO SLEEP BETWEEN SOME GLORIFIED SHEETS ON POLES WITHOUT A REAL BED FOR “FUN”?????????????

I’m so confused. Who started the idea of camping. Bring them to me. I want to roast them in a pot.

Anyway, I also destroyed my copy of Divergent, totally gouged the back out. And people don’t think camping is evil, sheesh.

6. HORSERADISH → IN A…UM…BOOKSTORE

Look, I was careful. And this has got to be when I was like 13 or something?! But I couldn’t afford to just buy books and I was obsessed with Lemony Snicket and was left (read: ran away whilst parents shopped) in a bookstore for a while, so I read the whole thing!

It’s all verses/sayings so it probably took like 10 minutes haha.

And I promise I was so so careful and didn’t break the spine at all.

But still. Evil little Paper Fury.

7. THE ISLE OF THE LOST → IN THE CAR

While my mum was in a shop called “Rainbow Wholefoods” and if this doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about my family, WHAT WILL. She was probably buying organic zucchini.

However this store also often gave us free Moon Balls! They kind of look like this. And I would do unspeakable things for those, they were delicious.

Anyway, she was off with organic zucchini. I was in the car after a wholesome library haul, and I picked up this book which is, arguably, the STUPIDEST and also worst book I’ve ever read. Fond memories.

8. MY LIFE NEXT DOOR → AT THE LIBRARY

Well…only a few chapters because I was also babysitting my two nieces and one nephew and in retrospect I probably should’ve been watching them??? But they’re all still alive. The have most of their limbs attached. I don’t know what more you want from me.

Also, this book, had a STICKY DUBIOUS STAIN on the plastic library covering. It was the kind of stain you couldn’t hold the book without touching. It was the kind of stickiness you wanted to cut your whole arm off after touching. Look, this says something about how good the book was — because I kept reading.

But talk about being violated. MY BONES ARE GAGGING RIGHT NOW IN MEMORY.

9. GAME OF THRONES → WHILE WALKING

I love walking! I go for a run in the morning + a walk in the afternoons (and then I return quickly back inside, believe me). Before I had a dog, I used to listen to audiobooks while I went. This is great multitasking, plus Game of Thrones is 48728 hours per book. SO! I had to be clever to get through these tomes.

I want to also say it’s really weird walking down the street while the book is loudly talking about gruesome murders, zombies, incest, and blooooooood. I mean, I’ve got headphones on.

BUT STILL. YOU WONDER IF OTHER PEOPLE KNOW.

10. HOW TO LEAD A LIFE OF CRIME → AT MY SISTER’S HOUSE

This was back in 2013!! Aww!! Little tiny tiny me!! Anyway, for some reason I cannot remember, I was staying overnight at an older sister’s house??? 0/10 do not like staying at other people’s houses. Anyhow, I recall reading this covertly because the cover is kind of, um, well…CRIME.

Look, I am dark and nefarious (despite the rainbows around here) and I do pretty terrible things like tell my little sister there’s no more chocolate while eating the last piece. But I’m not actually out to lead a life of crime! That’s aaaall on the title. The fact that my family seemed to think the title was pretty normal for me says…nothing.

Anyway, the book had some great tips, not knocking the knowledge I gleaned. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ What can I say.

do you have any memories of being out-of-the-house reading a specific book?!? tell me!! and do you read often while you’re out? and do you like camping or is it evil?

Names are really very important in books, I remind myself, as I forget literally every single one.

No, truly, I am horrible at names. Look at my family, for instance…I don’t even know what’s going on there. I have 5 siblings, 2 parents, 7 nieces/nephews, a dog, and a partridge in a pear tree. The partridge is ok. I call him Frank. I also call a ton of my niblings “Frank”. I cautiously say “hey you” to just about everyone else. I even misspelled my own name once and just sat here staring at it wondering what I did.

I’m really really really bad at names ok.

So if I can’t even get a grip on names of REAL LIFE HUMANS…book characters ain’t got a chance. But I want to point out why book characters’ names are really hard to remember?! I mean look:

• often YA is written in 1st person (I actually prefer 3rd, by the way) so we don’t even SEE the protagonist’s name!!
• there are a lot of the same names out there so they blur, mate
• I read too fast…we all know this. I can’t kEEP UP with me.
• if a name is super unfamiliar OR super average, my brain just goes “DELETE.”
• authors get super fond of like ONE letter and they use it to much and I die trying to tell Sal and Sam apart.
• I actually spend a lot of time misreading names…like my childhood hill to die on was Henry Huggins’ dog being named Risby (it was Ribsy) I fought this valiantly with my sister. I was wrong, obviously. Did it stop me? No.
• I’m also like that old grandpa who just yells wildly a name that sounds sort of similar and goes with it. Is your name Devon or Darren or Declan? IT’S ALL THE SAME.

So obviously I’m going to sit here and make a list of demands I ask for when it comes to book character names. Which is ironic for someone who forgets names all the time but OH WELL.

Linking up with Top Ten Tuesday: Best Character Names

1. THEY CAN’T ALL START WITH THE SAME LETTER.

Look as I say this, I do have a book with two minor characters starting with the same letter. So we can open up this entire list by yelling at me. bUT. As a general rule I avoid this like I avoid lettuce. (Which I’m intensely good at. Ask my family.) But look there are 26 letters in the alphabet. USE THEM, PLEASE, OH DEAR BOOKS.

I seriously read a book with a Maddox and a Maddison and mostly I am dead.

However it can work if the characters are super different and introduced differently and rarely take up scenes together. Cress and Cinder for instance (from The Lunar Chronicles)…I’ve never had a problem with them! But they’re actually rarely in the same scene. So. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. A LITTLE BIT O’ A THEME IS NICE.

Like names that sort of go together?! Like a nice patchwork quilt. Get all those colours melding like me into the wall when I’m expected to socialise. Self five. Like I enjoy how The Hunger Games had a lot of THINGS as names (Primrose, Clover, Glimmer, Thresh, etc. etc.)

One complaint (out of MANY lol lol I’m sorry) I had with Iron Gold was how there was a character called Liam. But everyone else is like Darrow! Sevro! Cassius! Ephraim! DUDE, HOW DID LIAM GET IN THERE.

3. I KIND OF LOVE WHEN NAMES DEFY “GENDER RULES”

I don’t quite know why names “have” to be so gendered anyway. Eat me. * I am totally happy to read Angel as a boy and Devon for a girl!

PS. Actually most of my own books feature gender-neutral character names and it is something that pleases me muchly so.

* Actually I am very salty. I would probably not be healthy for anyone to eat.

4. SHORT NAMES ARE KIND OF MY FAVOURITE.

Less letters to forget. It’s really helping me out here. Although that saying, I generally only pay attention to the first 2 letters in a name anyway so…yeah, well my bad.

5. NICKNAMES = NO GO, PLEASE DON’T, I LITERALLY BEG OF YOU

This is the quickest way to have me run screaming underneath the opera house until someone throws a chandelier. I just can’t. If a character gets introduced as a name —> KEEP THAT NAME. Like it’s okay if your character’s being called Jon and their full name is Jonathon…just don’t switch it around constantly on page, ok?! (Unless they’re being yelled at.) Consistency is key for baking cakes and using nicknames!

6. SOME NAMES SHOULD BE ON THE “TOO TIRED TO REUSE” LIST.

Because they come up a lot. I love you Simon, I do, but wHICH ONE AM I TALKING ABOUT. Simon in Simon Vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda. Simon from Shadowhunters?? There’s a Simon in Furyborn, Simon Snow from Carry On, Simon in Spiderwick, Simon in Nanny McPhee.

SIMON SAYS WE NEED TO STOP GOING WITH SIMON.

7. I LOVE NAMES THAT HAVE SIGNIFICANT MEANING IN BOOKS!

Okay I confess this happens in both my upcoming novels. Beck from A Thousand Perfect Notes simplifies his name because he’s embarrassed, and Sam from The Boy Who Steals Houses gets constantly misnamed as “Samuel” when it’s not his true full name. I have thing here ok.

 But I love this in books!! Like:

• Julian Blackthorn in Lady Midnight hates his childhood nickname of “Jules” and Emma uses it to put distance between them.
• Gansey from The Raven Cycle goes by his last name because his first name is, um, Dick.
• Kell from A Darker Shade of Magic doesn’t even KNOW his full name. He only has his initials: K.L.
• Puck from the Scorpio Races has a real name of “Kate” and I’m not actually sure why she goes by Puck??? But I like it.
• Neil in The Foxhole Court has significant feelings/memories attached to his old name (Nathaniel…yeah he’s great at undercover names haaaa) and when he’s traumatised, he slips back into referring to himself as his old name because he associates it with pain.
• In Here Lies Daniel Tate, we never even find out the main character’s REAL name because he is so good at having no identity. He’s literally blocked it so he is Nobody when he’s not running a con.

8. I AM 100% IN FAVOUR OF CULTURES EXPRESSING THEMSELVES THROUGH NAMES TOO.

Diversity is taking over YA and it is glorious to see other cultures and their names marching down the hill to devour the bookstores. GOOD ON THEM. I struggle with names, yes, sure…but I want it to be just as normal in YA to see “Emma” as it is to see see names like Aru, Kiko, Miel, Lada, and Twinkle.

9. FANTASY KEYBOARD SMASH NAMES STILL … WOUND ME MORTALLY.

I can’t even with Eragon. I just…like if you asked me what the actual country is called, I would very confidently say, “Algeasfasdkh.” And I still maintain in Throne of Glass her name is Celery Sardine. And in Of Fire And Stars?? I’m still trying to cope with Dennaleia and Amaranthine.

AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON GAME OF THRONES. Danarygygyg Targygyggy is a great character but also: why.

10. I CAN’T DEAL WHEN SOMEONE I KNOW IN REAL LIFE HAS THEIR NAME IN A BOOK.

Is it just me or is it super weird?! The only time I’ve come across my name (CAIT) has been in Three Dark Crowns and it was for 2 sentences for some old grandmother who died probably. It was sooo weird. And in Gallagher Girls one of them has the same name as my brother and THAT’S JUST WEIRD. Also my niece’s name is Eva, and you know how often the derivatives of EVE come up in books.

It’s doomed. I can never concentrate. My relatives have ruined so many names for me. Useless creatures, they are. I suffer.

most importantly: have you ever seen YOUR name in a book?! is it weird?? do you have any pet peeves or particular loves when it comes to book character names???

Are you ready to feel happily ATTACKED by your TBR pile?! Hands? Hands? Can I see a show of hands?!! Whooo!

Oh stop crying, you’ll be fine. Look 87% of being a book blogger is casually taking up necromancy so that you can keeping coming back to life and finishing off your TBR pile. Or adding to it. I’m not judging your afterlife priorities. The remaining 11% is trying to convince your post to format nicely and I guess there’s 2% of actual, you know, reading or whatever.

Anyhow I’m very keen today to make a list of some upcoming YA releases I’m monstrously excited for.

I did a post earlier this year, covering January – May releases. So let’s add to that mess!

Linking up with Top Ten Tuesday for “Books I’d Love to Get Early”

Also this is how I keep track of the upcoming releases I want to read! Because Goodreads is a black hole basically, so we’ve migrated back to paper ‘n’ ink style. My unicorn notebook is actually the cutest thing.

• THE SURFACE BREAKS: Okay but an actual retelling of the dark original Little Mermaid? #YAS My fins are ready. Also is that cover not something you want to eat?! I want to eat.
• I WAS BORN FOR THIS: I adoooore Alice Oseman and I’m so keen for this. Plus it’s orange (“SUNSET ORANGE, PEETA”) so I’m in love.
• ALL OF THIS IS TRUE: A writer steals actual teens’ lives and secrets and writes about them, which sounds AWFUL and also I 100% believe it would happen.
• THE QUEEN UNDERNEATH: This just sounds like a fun fantasy with a motley crew of unlikely heroes. Also maybe people live below ground?? My hobbits! Arise!

• THE SMOKE THIEVES: My favourite author is BACK and hopefully will smash hearts and souls and minds, etc. Not that I have those left after Half Bad.
• LEGENDARY: Ohhh so I got sent an ARC aaaand it actually has my name on it. Best thing ever. I didn’t even have to work and got my name on a book cover WOOO. Anyway I hear Tella is narrating and 10/10 glad because Scarlett needed some cheese with that whine.
• LIFELIKE: Is that a HONEYCOMB. Anyway I’m excited! Jay Kristoff!!
• SHIP IT: This is about fandoms and queerity (shh it’s a word) and I’m super excited and hoping it’s a happy wholesome book?! I need more good fandom experiences in books!

AKA THE MOST IMPORTANT MONTH OF THIS WHOLE YEAR BECAUSE LOOK:

My debut, A Thousand Perfect Notes, comes out on the 7th. And you want to know how freakishly surreal it is to be able to say this?!? Get an umbrella. I’m going to cry all over you. Now go love me and pre-order (links here!) because that means (a) my dark soul will burst into glitter, and (b) you will get to see MORE books from me in the future! I am only a smol author OK, so this is really important (!!).

alsoI’mexcitedandfreakingoutabitholyhecklookhowclosereleasedayis

Anyway…other books are coming out too. Not that they’re obviously important. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• THE BIRD AND THE BLADE: So reviews seem mixed?! I think it’s based on a tragic opera? But anyway! It’s a Chinese retelling and has riddles and wars!
• WHISPER OF THE TIDE (#2): I loved the first book with smugglers and pirates and I need this yesterday.
• CITY OF BASTARDS (#2): The first book was so fUNNY!?? I love sassy fantasy romps and also I think the first had a subtle stab in the feels. Must reread.
• A LITERARY TEA PARTY: Ohhh I’m so excited for Alison’s cookbook!! She’s an epic blogger who does book foodie recipes so basically I love her and THIS IS THE BEST. (Also PS. we’re doing an epic collab closer to our books’ release dates!)

• ARROW HEART: I think this is modern?! But with GODS and a girl is cursed to make the boy who falls in love with her into a mindless slave. I mean. Seems fun but apparently she’s distressed.
• FINAL DRAFT: It’s about a writer!! I need writer books by writers about writers SO WHINE ABOUT WRITING.
• SOMETIMES AFTER MIDNIGHT: Queer Prince Charming, I mean. Also uses the internet to find the owner of “the shoe” which seems fun.
• RUNNING WITH LIONS: OMG I’M SO KEEN it sounds like The Foxhole Court?!?!!? With childhood bestfriend/crushes returning and hearts being wrung around and I just !!!

• LITTLE DO WE KNOW: Alriiiight so the story sounds like two best friends fighting, which I actually don’t usually like. BUT. The author’s other book, Every Last Word, was incredible so HI. I am here anyway. My TBR hates me already so what the heck. Also quilling on the cover!! Ah!!
• THE ART OF ESCAPING: This is about escape artists! A girl is obsessed with Harry Houdini (possibly f/f??) and leads a double life doing escaping performances and I am KEEN.
• WILD BLUE WONDER: I think this is magical realism?!? Which I adore (also loved the author’s debut) so I am here for blue and wonder.
• THE UNBINDING OF MARY READE: Pirates!! I am here for pirates!! (I also think it’s f/f!?) And honestly if it has Calico Jack and Anne Bonny in it, then I’m pack my bags. I’m sailing.

• SMOKE AND IRON (#4): I’m freeeeaking OUT! Book #3 ended on such a cliffhanger and I swear this series is one of my favourite. Magical libraries, murder and mayhem! #SantiAndWolfeForever
• FAWKES: Ok but just so you know I am famous…the author is my friend! EEEP. Anyway, she sent me a copy so I actually have this gorgeous book. It is (surprise!) about assassinating the King of England and that is so fun.
• CONTAGION: Monsters and murder in space?! Like it doesn’t sound original (lol lol) but I’m still here for it. Also that COVER.
• BRIGHT WE BURN (#3): I am here to see my prince and love Radu get a happy ending (NOT MEHMED) and honestly I’m terrified Lada will die. Help. Also she is so epic but kind of looks like the witch in suicide squad.

But you do you, Lada. I won’t judge.

• KILL THE FARM BOY: This better make Princess Bride references is all I can say. And I think it’s a total parody?! But I want it.
• SEA WITCH: Look we are being #blessed with mermaids recently and I am a fan.
• SPINNING SILVER: Someday I will tire of fairy tales BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY. I think it’s adult though?? But regardless, she turns things to gold and I’m hoping for some life tips.
• HEART OF THORNS: I’m here for girls with knives and witches.

• THESE REBEL WAVES: Piiiiirates. Honestly I should read the blurb, but who needs to do that when you know THERE WILL BE PIRATES.
• THE FOREST QUEEN: I think a girl runs into the woods for justice and to help the commoners, so I’m here hoping this is a genderbent Robin Hood. And !! that !! cover!
• MIRAGE: I thought it was fantasy, but maybe it’s sci-fi?! But anyway there’s evil kingdoms and a hateful Prince/Pauper body swap!
• SEAFIRE: MORE PIRATES. I seriously love 2018. Anyway it’s like this all-girl-pirate-crew but then they might need to take on a boy to save or ruin them. I’d say skip the boy but ya know. Accidents happen.

• FINDING YVONNE: This is about a violinist!! And she might not get into the conservatory, which sounds stressful so let’s be stressed.
• WHITE RABBIT RED WOLF: The blurb is tiny but basically = math prodigy + anxiety disorders. I relate to one of those things a lot already and it ain’t the math.
• BRAVE ENOUGH: This is about an unenthused ballerina and a boy with an addiction and the cover looks like it splattered paint everywhere. My eyes are hearts.
• CITY OF GHOSTS: Our queen and saviour SCHWAB is back with a middle-grade book about a girl who sees ghosts and it sounds very Schwabish.

• DARKDAWN (#3): I still haven’t read Godsgrave yet (sobsob) and I’m totally sure Mia is gonna die but oh well.
• THE CURSES (#2): For some reason it’s been 2 years since the first book!? Which I really did love eep. So hopefully this is as dark and messy and creepy.
• IGNITE THE STARS: Look it has RAINBOWS. Anyway it’s apparently “perfect for fans of the Lunar Chronicles” and has a dark fearsome outlaw who is secretly a 17 year old.
• THE LANTERN’S EMBER: Witches and immortal boys and deals with the devil!

• THE DEEPEST ROOTS: It’s about three super close friends + magical healing / fixing things…and I just love magical realism so my opinion is: !!!
• SUMMER BIRD BLUE: I loved the author’s Starfish! But there’s an anxious girl + it’s set on Hawaii + a surfer boy + writing songs and music!
• AND THE OCEAN WAS OUR SKY: It’s Patrick Nessss!!!!! What else is there to say!! (Also is it illustrated?!?)
• NOT EVEN BONES: The pitch is literally: “Dexter meets This Savage Song in this dark fantasy about a girl sells magical body parts on the black market — until she’s betrayed.” AND I’M SO IN I CAN’T EVEN.

• UNBROKEN: This is an anthology of stories about disabled teens BY disabled authors! I’m so excited. I think this is going to be incredible!
• A BLADE SO BLACK: An #ownvoices black Alice in Wonderland. YES.
• RULE: Three girls are gonna be QUEEN…I mean, why can’t they share it, but I guess sharing isn’t so fun.

• FOR A MUSE OF FIRE: Look it’s got smuggler sand puppet shows and magic AND I love this author.
• THE DARK DESCENT OF ELIZABETH FRANKENSTEIN: As much as I love Keirsten White…this cover is a frikkin horror and I hate it. Hahah. #DecidesToBuyTheEbook
• VENGEFUL: OMG IS ALL I CAN SAY OMG. Eli and Victor are back and I think this book murdered Schwab (from seeing what she went through writing it wow) so I’m guessing it’ll nicely murder us too.

did i mention any you hadn’t heard of yet?! tell me what you’re SUPER excited for!! and how do you keep track of upcoming releases? or do you just cry and let your tears form book titles?