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Batman Nightwalker by Marie Lu || Asylums, Sociopath Girls, and Not Enough Batmanning

I’ve always wanted to be Batman when I grow up, so this book is an actual gift.

This is the second in the DC Icon series, following up Wonder Woman: Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo, which I freaking LOVED because a magical island full of warrior woman seems like the smartest idea anyone’s ever had. So I was pretty excited to try Marie Lu’s Batman: Nightwalker! Even though I was a bit cautious because (a) I seem to never connect to Marie Lu’s books (I WANT TO THO) and (b) I fell asleep watching a DC movie once and haven’t tried since. Haha haha.

I’m sorry.

So Batman Nightwalker ended up being a mixed bowl of cereal for me. I loved the tech and the writing and the mysteries, but I found the plot a little unrealistic. It was definitely fun! But it was also a bit like lifting a spoonful of cereal to your mouth and not paying attention and tipping it down your shirt. Not that I would ever do that. Haah ahaha.

Okay let’s move forward.

  • The story is more: Bruce Wayne > Batman.
    Which if I’m going to be honest, I find disappointing. I meant the cover says BATMAN not “Bruce Wayne: Nightwalker”. So while we get the Why Does He Don The Suit™ tale, it’s like…the end goal. Mostly we just have billionaire boy Bruce learning to find his way in this world with his heartache and his complex to make ALL THE WORLD A GOOD PLACE. And wow he was so aggressively Gryffindor. All you had to do was point and say: “SOMEONE NEEDS HELP!” and there’s Brucey…flapping over to help them. Hmm. My Slytherin soul just did a double take, but anyway. But Bruce was still cute and winning and I liked him!

 

  • It’s nothing like the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy so don’t expect that.
    AKA DON’T BE LIKE ME. #Awkward. That’s like mega dark with a devious and sometimes-cruel Batman and blood everywhere. This is more the kid-friendly version which is a bit fluffy at times and is more here to make you feel good about heroes and being brave and eating eggs for breakfast so you grow up so strong. I EAT EGGS FOR BREAKFAST. I’M GOING TO BE BATMAN, MUM.

 

  • It’s really fun seeing the familiar names come up!
    But there ARE new characters too so it’s not overly predictable. But Harvey Dent is in there and it mentions Gordon (!!) and OF FREAKING COURSE the light of the universe, aka Alfred, is there. I love Alfred! He’s the perfect mix of father, butler, and teacher with a side-dish of tea and British disapproval. He tells Bruce to slow down while driving and makes him breakfast and says he has 0% sympathy when Bruce does something stupid. Basically Alfred is just a stressed mother, doing his best.

 

  • I found the actual plot a little bit unrealistic.
    Says me…reading about A MAN BAT. But okay. So this is in the blurb, so not a spoiler, but this is how it goes down:

    • Bruce wretchedly saves the day but also technically interferes with police business so.
    • SMACK ON THE HAND, BRUCE.
    • He gets community service!
    • Which he has to serve at…wait for it…waaaait…
    • ARKHAM ASYLYM.
    • So literally we have this billionaire famous kid moping floors at the worst asylum ever where he’s verbally abused by the inmates all day.
    • He is a kid.
    • So.
    • I do find this hard to believe. I get they wanted to make him “learn” but LIKE WHO THE HECK WOULD DO THIS. Especially for such a lowkey offence as he committed. He really should fire his lawyers because they suck if he got landed with this.
    • And then he gets all involved talking to this girl inmate whom he’s getting info from and nUNGH NUNGH she’s attractive so of course his little heart beats faster.
    • But why would they let him chat with an inmate.
    • Dude.
    • Duuuuude.
    • And they’re like “Now, Bruce, she is a MURDERER and bad and will manipulate you.”
    • Bruce: “ok but what if she’s not.”
    • DUDE.

 

  • So like I had FUN but I also blinked a few times and said, “Mate lmao what.”
    But I’m here to have a good time so I won’t lose an eyeball over this.

  • All up? Fun, but a bit silly, and didn’t have enough Batmanning in it.
    But it was really short and I ate through it after being in an annoying book slump so for that I AM PLEASED. And it adorably kept the bloodshed low and even the asylum inmates kept their language ok for the children (very kind of them) and basically it was a quick and fun story of LI’LE BRUCE before he finds his batwings. 

THANKS TO PENGUIN AUSTRALIA FOR THE REVIEW-COPY. Batman Nightwalker (DC Icons #2) by Marie Lu is published January 2018.

★★★☆☆

Before he was Batman, he was Bruce Wayne. A reckless boy willing to break the rules for a girl who may be his worst enemy.
The Nightwalkers are terrorizing Gotham City, and Bruce Wayne is next on their list.
One by one, the city’s elites are being executed as their mansions’ security systems turn against them, trapping them like prey. Meanwhile, Bruce is turning eighteen and about to inherit his family’s fortune, not to mention the keys to Wayne Enterprises and all the tech gadgetry his heart could ever desire. But after a run-in with the police, he’s forced to do community service at Arkham Asylum, the infamous prison that holds the city’s most brutal criminals.
Madeleine Wallace is a brilliant killer . . . and Bruce’s only hope.
In Arkham, Bruce meets Madeleine, a brilliant girl with ties to the Nightwalkers. What is she hiding? And why will she speak only to Bruce? Madeleine is the mystery Bruce must unravel. But is he getting her to divulge her secrets, or is he feeding her the information she needs to bring Gotham City to its knees? Bruce will walk the dark line between trust and betrayal as the Nightwalkers circle closer.

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do you have a favourite Batman movie/version?! and is there a superhero you would like a childhood-origin-story about!?? also are you reading the DC Icon series and what do you think so far??

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Double Review || The Build-Up Season by Megan Jacobson & This Mortal Coil By Emily Suvada (Robots, Abuse, and Apps for Naps)

It is time to BLESS YOUR EYEBALLS with a double review.

This is similar to double chocolate chip ice cream except less chocolate…unless you bring the chocolate? Like totally go get some, I’ll wait.

I’m reviewing two books today: The Build-Up Season by Megan Jacobson and This Mortal Coil by Emily Suvada! They’re both by #LoveOzYA authors which is freaking awesome, but both different genres because reading ALL THE GENRES is what makes you happy in life. Also eating all the chocolate. But I’m trying not to get distracted here.

 

Thank you Penguin Random House for both these review-copies!

THE BUILD UP SEASON BY MEGAN JACOBSON

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★★★☆☆

Seventeen-year-old Iliad Piper is named after war and angry at the world. Growing up with a violent father and abused mother, she doesn’t know how to do relationships, family or friends. A love-hate friendship with Max turns into a prank war, and she nearly destroys her first true friendship with misfit Mia. She takes off her armour for nobody, until she meets Jared, someone who’s as complicated as she is. 

This book was very serious and hard to to read. It deals with domestic violence — and really focuses on the psychology of the after-effects. I think that’s an important story to tell and while this book wasn’t exactly “enjoyable”, it was totally well written. It explores that “ripple-effect” of what it’s like to escape abuse and how that impacts your life. My ONLY disappointment was that the character development came a little too late. But that could be just me!

✓ I loved that it was set in Darwin!
I’ve been to Darwin before and the whole thing felt SO authentically written! Now, my mates, Darwin has one temperature setting (MORDER) and it’s full of crocodiles and no speed limits. Great place. Totally felt the humidity and heat on every page!

✓ I loved that there was Indigenous Australian representation!
I read a far amount of #LoveOzYA and there’s still a woeful lack of Indigenous characters. So it was amazing to see them featuring here (particularly Max who is an adorable prankster) and the book nods to their words and culture too.

✓ Plus Max is the freaking gift to the universe.
He and Iliad have a “prank war” going and “hate each other” (HAHA HAHAHA HAHAAH #shipit) and he’s like dorky, cheeky, and super sweet underneath it all. He also wants to be a nature documenter.

✓ I think it handled the devastation of domestic violence well.
It is NOT an easy topic. It’s horrible and terrifying. Iliad’s dad is in jail, but she’s living with the repercussions.

✓ The book is also really arty!
I mean look at that cover. That cover is GORGEOUS and just lets you know the inside is full of artists. I personally have the artistic skills of a 5 year old with a piece of chalk that’s been slobbered on by a great dane BUT HEY, I can appreciate art in books! I also loooved the contrast of Iliad expressing her art through bullet shells and violent colours, while her mother was into healing crystals and chakras.

✗ OK so unlikeable characters…
It’s tough to analyse it in the story because I understood why Iliad was so “horrible”. She is the direct result of a childhood of trauma and abuse, so it makes sense that she’s mean, acidic, and gravitates towards problematic relationships for herself. But like I said…I felt her character arc started too late. I wanted to root for Iliad but she was also being domestically abusive, especially to her mother. Violence isn’t just a slap — it’s also intimidation, screaming, and the threat of violence. So every time Iliad smashed a plate near her mother, she too was being abusive. And this is “okay” in the sense that it’s REAL. The entire book felt attuned to reality. But when you excuse your actions because of your past…that’s a problem. I couldn’t root for Iliad when she was being cruel. (It’s like my beef with Snape all over again smh.)

Plus I was confused because Iliad’s boyfriend is awful and abusive and he is 100% condemned in the book. But he was abused at home too??? So why is Iliad redeemedable but he’s not?

THIS MORTAL COIL BY EMILY SUVADA

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★★☆☆☆

When a lone soldier, Cole, arrives with news of Lachlan Agatta’s death, all hope seems lost for Catarina. Her father was the world’s leading geneticist, and humanity’s best hope of beating a devastating virus. Then, hidden beneath Cole’s genehacked enhancements she finds a message of hope: Lachlan created a vaccine.
Only she can find and decrypt it, if she can unravel the clues he left for her. The closer she gets, the more she finds herself at risk from Cartaxus, a shadowy organization with a stranglehold on the world’s genetic tech. But it’s too late to turn back.
There are three billion lives at stake, two people who can save them, and one final secret that Cat must unlock. A secret that will change everything.

This one feel flat for me because I READ TOO MUCH, OKAY??? Wow I never thought I’d say that. But I honestly read 200+ books per year and this felt like a remix…a nice remix! Well written and complex. I just knew EVERY plot twist coming because of having read the same story 24 other times.

✓ It features reverse-zombie viruses which is pretty awesome.
So instead of the zombies eating you, YOU have to eat the zombie to get immune. #Clever And it’s also a lot like X-Men with sort of mutant diseases and mutant people full of hightech devices and SuperSoldier children. And angst! Gotta love some superkids with angst. (I DO.)

✓ Cole was super sweet.
I do so love some badass terrifying “I AM A WEAPON” soft cinnamon boys. Like yes, Cole, we realise you could destroy the world but you just want to cuddle a puppy.

✓ Full of interesting sci-fi tech stuff.
I mean…I have no idea what was going on with it BECAUSE I DON’T SCIENCE. But I appreciate that it was cool.

 

✗ It’s…so long.
I’m terrified of books over 400 pages because they almost NEVER need to be that long. The action didn’t even start till after 100pgs and I rapidly felt my eyes glaze over.

✗ Catarina was a little bit of a vanilla pancake.
She’s introduced as the genius daughter of a genius scientist and then…well that’s her full personality. She just gets more and more SPECIAL as the book goes on. Like the blurb says “only she can find and decrypt the vaccine!!” and that’s just the edge of her Specialness.

✗ The plot twists felt SO obvious to me.
And I’d read them…so many times… Like Catrina’s here saying: “My dad is a GOOD MAN and would never experiment on children! I am allergic to technology! My dad would never lie to me!” And I’m there like: I felt it LABOURED the “surprises” so early that you could see them coming a mile away. For example, I’ve read these plot twists in: Disruption, Frost, Vicarious, The Body Electric, The Adoration of Jenna Fox, Because You’ll Never Meet Me, Spark, and Eve & Adam. I wish I was kidding. I need to read less.

✗ And while I DID like Cole, I found him overbearing.
He’s programmed to protect, so aka he won’t let Catrina even breath or make decisions. Look overbearing boys are NOT my thing. I don’t care if it’s “program”. Shut up, son. I wanted Catrina to take more charge of her own fate, but she relied on males EVERY TIME to tell her what to do. sIGH.

✗ Still a bit confused on how humans can run on apps.
I guess we’re cyborgs in the future?? Like they have technology panels in their arms, but they didn’t APPEAR to be robots?? But I still don’t understand how these apps could like heal you or whatever. BUT OK. I hope there’s an app for napping because I want it.

✗ It really really didn’t work for me buuuuut….maybe that’s just me!
It’s low on romance, big on science/tech talk so if that’s your THANG…you might like this. I was just a bit bored and disenchanted. #My #Bad.

have you ever read a book that felt a bit like deja vu?? and would you rather read sci-fi or contemporary??? and have you read any of these? PLS DISCUSS I AM DESPERATE.

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The Dark Prophecy (Trials Of Apollo #2) by Rick Riordan // Narcissistic Teen Greek Gods Are My New Favourite Ever

It’s the #1 fact of life that any book set in the Camp Halfblood world CAN DO NO WRONG.

The Dark Prophecy is a completely fabulous sequel to The Hidden Oracle! Although I didn’t like it quite as much because (A) it wasn’t as hilarious, although still funny, and (B) the plot wasn’t as exciting and twisty as the first one. But it was still an entirely winning read for me! And I think I’m half in love with Apollo — who is a dork, narcissist, and delusional god, but what can you do. He’s adorable.

 

THIS IS A NON-SPOILER REVIEW!

Although may reference things in previous Percy Jackson books but nothing huge or massively spoilery. So you can be safe.

Apollo’s character development is just so fabulous. He’s still full of himself and really surprised when the world doesn’t revolve around him (this happens to the best of us tbh), but he’s also SO LOYAL to his little demigod companions. And he’s utter trash for looking after Meg. And, on occasion, he might even do something self-sacrificial instead of letting everyone else perish in his wake. #lovely

I do hate how they ALWAYS give him a rough time though!! I mean, I get he was a horrible god and gets blamed for everything. But he tries so hard now! And Meg is so mean to him and Calypso and Leo give him 500% of a rough time. Althoooooough. ISN’T THAT WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR. It’s actually surprising that he stays in such good spirits about his own godliness when he’s cleaning toilets and peeling carrots.


I’m still trying to bestir my soul to care about Meg though. I wasn’t really impressed with her in book #1, and she just continues to be a rude little turnip. I suppose it’s meant to be endearing??? I find the actual root vegetable more endearing. I guess I’m a fan of manners and kindness, both of which Meg is allergic to.

 

  • the unexpected; because seriously you have no idea what this book is going to throw at you
  • greek gods on facebook
  • monsters, murder, and mayhem
  • booby traps at the dinner table
  • prophecies that nearly kill you
  • tofu turkey
  • mechanical dragons that are designed like lego
  • a house that only shows you the rooms it wants to and expands when requested
  • griffins
  • a featuring f/f parent couple
  • bisexual Apollo
  • sass
  • WAR AND CALAMITY
  • did I mention sass? because multiply that x 6

 

It’s also hysterically funny! 

I think Apollo’s tendency to use “god like speech” but then mesh it with modern pop-culture references and narcissistic haikus is just the best thing since cupcakes were invented. I am such a fan. He’s also got a really different voice to Percy Jackson too, which is GREAT. I love Percy, but it’s nice to have something different. (Considering Magnus Chase is like Percy’s twin.)

 

Speaking if difference…I also love how the structure of the plot is different in the Apollo books! They’re on an adventure that continually unravels, so it’s not the same-old-same-old plot set up of the PJO books (get a prophecy, assemble a team, go on a quest, nearly die, etc.) #Refreshing

But the real question: do you read the Apollo series if you haven’t read the original Percy Jackson books?

Erm, no. There are spoilers for the Percy books because it all happens chronologically. And you wouldn’t get a lot of references or understand the importance of reoccurring characters.

This was hilariously glorious and a solid sequel!

Maybe it wasn’t as fast moving or exciting as other Halfblood books, and maaaaybe it dragged a bit in the middle. But it was still funny and used many lesser-known Greek myths so I was forced to learn things. How dare it. I‘m definitely a huge fan of Apollo!! 10/10 will recommend giving Apollo a warm pretzel and perhaps a nap because he does try so hard even though he sucks. And it’s absolutely hilarious to read about a Greek God being a mere mortal human.

 

THANK YOU TO PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE FOR THE REVIEW-COPY. The Dark Prophecy (Trials of Apollo #2) by Rick Riordan was published May, 2017.

★★★★☆

Zeus has punished his son Apollo–god of the sun, music, archery, poetry, and more–by casting him down to earth in the form of a gawky, acne-covered sixteen-year-old mortal named Lester. The only way Apollo can reclaim his rightful place on Mount Olympus is by restoring several Oracles that have gone dark. What is affecting the Oracles, and how can Apollo/Lester do anything about them without his powers? After experiencing a series of dangerous–and frankly, humiliating–trials at Camp Half-Blood, Lester must now leave the relative safety of the demigod training ground and embark on a hair-raising journey across North America. Fortunately, what he lacks in godly graces he’s gaining in new friendships–with heroes who will be very familiar to fans of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Heroes of Olympus series. Come along for what promises to be a harrowing, hilarious, and haiku-filled ride.

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are you a fan of the Camp Half Blood world?!? (who’s your favourite character??) and have you tried the Apollo books yet?? THOUGHTS? also do you prefer when books use myths you recognise VS obscure ones so you learn things???

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The Sun Is Also A Star by Nicola Yoon // InstaDrowning in InstaLove

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I really wanted to like this one but…we, tragically, did not get along.

I finished The Sun Is Also A Star and just felt entirely mad. The author’s extremely famous debut, Everything Everything, was also not my favourite (#sadface) so I’m officially JUST A CANTANKEROUS MARMOT AND THESE BOOKS ARE NOT FOR ME. Which is okay! Books are subjective!

I’m very confident others will like this one because it is beautifully written…I just couldn’t handle the instalove.

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LIKE

  • It features immigration representation! This is very exciting because it’s a topic I don’t see enough of in YA and we NEED IT. We have two narrators, Natasha and Daniel. Both are from immigrant families to the USA. Both immigration experiences are so entirely different. Natasha is an illegal immigrant from Jamaica and she is obsessed with facts and science. Daniel’s Korean family are forcing him to live the ultimate American Dream and be a doctor when he wants to be a poet. Also #OwnVoices? YES.
  • Natasha and Daniel were both complex. They also had really different voices, which is a win win when it comes to multiple POVs.
  • THE COVER IS FREAKING GORGEOUS. This needs to be said. #ShallowBookwormPriorities
  • It’s a unique story. It takes place over one day…SO A LOT HAPPENS IN, LIKE, 12 HOURS. Buckle up, kids. We cram in finding your future, eating delicious food, being honest and open when it’s important, being venerable, taking risks — and it’s really easy to have your eyeballs glued to the page. Well done, book. Plus the words are beautiful.

 

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DISLIKE

  • Did I mention the incredibly HIGH LEVELS OF INSTALOVE???? Because it drove me beyond mad. I basically packed my bags and moved to Severly Cranky territory  which means I even stamped my foot a few times. Daniel is working with this theory that strangers can fall in love if they talk about deep questions and stare into each other’s eyes a lot. The first part of that turned the book into a pretentious ball of angst. They didn’t have a SINGLE normal conversation because it was all “WHY DON’T POETS TALK ABOUT THE SUN!” and “WHAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF GOOD AND HUMANITY AND CUSTARD TARTS!! WE SHOULD FIND OUT!!” (Okay. #lies Custard tarts did not enter this book and honestly that’s another reason it’s disappointing.) And it was just so not my thing. Also secondly staring at people’s eyes is weird and awkward. Lemme look at, like, your earlobe instead.
  • Going from “strangers” to “WE WERE MEANT TO BE” in like 8 hours is unbelievable to me. I can’t swallow all these “it’s fate that I’m in love with you” lines.

There’s a Japanese phrase that I like: koi no yokan. It doesn’t mean love at first sight. It’s closer to love at second sight. It’s the feeling when you meet someone that you’re going to fall in love with them. Maybe you don’t love them right away, but it’s inevitable that you will.

THAT IS THE DEFINITION OF “INSTALOVE” OBVIOUSLY???? I felt like the book was trying say it wasn’t instalove, while being instalove.

  • I didn’t understand a lot of Natasha and Daniel’s actions. For instance: at one point Daniel at one point saves her life and she gets annoyed because her headphones get broken in the process. What? Another instance: Daniel spends so. much. time outlining how horrible his brother is. And true! His brother is really awful. But when all Daniel talked about for his entire intro-chapters was how his brother was a jerk?? I was flipping pages like “When do we get the part where we explore who Daniel is?” It made him come across very whiny.
  • Fair time to mention I don’t understand poetry. Where is my corner of shame. I shall relocate there.
  • Coincidences. SO MANY COINCIDENCES. At first they were cute. At first they worked. You can set up a book with lucky coincidences just fine…but when the entire story only exists because of them?! It gets unbelievable real fast.
  • Plus many ominipresent snippets. Let’s have a quick chapter from the POV of the security lady! And the train conductor! And the random violinist in the street! I get that the story wanted to show how a life can affect a billion other lives but…it really dragged me away from the story at hand and I felt confused and disorientated. I wanted to focus on knowing Daniel and Natasha.
  • The prologue complicates apple pies so much. It’s just not on. Don’t ruin an apple pie with your pretentiousness.

To make a thing as simple as an apple pie, you have to create the whole wide world.

Or you could buy a tin of apples from Woolies + whack together some pastry + stick it in the oven = BOOM A PIE. Like, mate, I appreciate the thoughtful soul-searching and world-philosophising here (except not really) but you must understand know it’s easier to make a pie than this.

the-sun-is-also-a-star-4I’m sad this book wasn’t for me.

I don’t like instalove romances. I don’t like philosophical conversations that never seem realistic or natural and make me absolutely not click with the characters. And the overload of coincidences (especially the entire last chapter) just left me feeling like it’s fantasy when it’s supposed to be realistic contemporary.

But apparently everyone else on goodreads loves it so if you read it, I wish you all the best luck!

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THANK YOU TO PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE FOR THE REVIEW-COPY. The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon was published November 2016.

2 stars

28763485Natasha: I’m a girl who believes in science and facts. Not fate. Not destiny. Or dreams that will never come true. I’m definitely not the kind of girl who meets a cute boy on a crowded New York City street and falls in love with him. Not when my family is twelve hours away from being deported to Jamaica. Falling in love with him won’t be my story.
Daniel: I’ve always been the good son, the good student, living up to my parents’ high expectations. Never the poet. Or the dreamer. But when I see her, I forget about all that. Something about Natasha makes me think that fate has something much more extraordinary in store—for both of us.
The Universe: Every moment in our lives has brought us to this single moment. A million futures lie before us. Which one will come true?

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how do you feel about rapid romances? (or 1-day romances?) have you read one that worked well for you??? do you think instalove can be done right or is it a no-go for you?? have you read this book? (or Everything Everything?) and what did you think?!

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Magnus Chase and the Hammer of Thor by Rick Riordan // A Magnus-ificent Sequel

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I mean, obviously I loved it. IT’S A RICK RIORDAN BOOK.

Oh and before I apologise for the atrocious pun in the title of this post, lemme give you another one. Magnus Chase and the Hammer of Thor was ASGARD as the first one. (Because “Asgard” = “as good”…get it!?? Oh I’m hilarious it actually hurts.) OKAY BUT PUNS ASIDE — I totally collapsed in a fangirling heap over this exciting instalment of gods, demigods, dead people, falafel and mild doom.

Also it’s hilarious. Obviously. But there is a 100% chance I will laugh OUT LOUD when reading a Rick Riordan book.

Before we launch in, feel free to trot back to my review of Magnus Chase and the Sword of Summer, which is book 1 of the series. This is the sequel. NO SPOILERS WILL BE SPOILED. Obviously. I am a delightful person not a monster.

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Can we talk about the characters first?!

Because they are enormously amazing. And the diversity levels are on point which makes me very pleased. And the secondary characters?! They are complex and intriguing, JUST AS THEY SHOULD BE. But let’s go into list mode, yes. Because I can’t help myself.

  • MAGNUS CHASE of course remains my favourite. Although at times he nearly felt like a secondary character in his own story…just because the plot REALLY centred around Loki’s children in this one. And Magnus is a child of Frey. SO. #awkward But he still has so much snark and sass and is really a squishable darling with a very bad haircut due to needing his locks to stitch up a bowling ball bag. UM, I SWEAR IT MAKES SENSE WHEN YOU READ IT.
  • SAMIRAH is still a puddle of awesomeness and stubbornness. She’s also Muslim and POC and wears a magical hijab! And her love remains strong for her betrothed. Also someone give this woman a medal for all the dorky quips she has to put up with from Magnus. (Also 1000% happy she and Magnus can have an epic friendship with no love-triangle. Bless this book.)
  • ALEX FIERRO is a newcomer (child of Loki) but very important to this plot. At first I didn’t like Alex because they’re really rude…but noooo, stop your flapping about in panic there Cait, because Alex is AMAZING and is a cinnamon roll. Truly. Alex is gender-fluid, but uses either he or she pronouns depending which gender they identify with on the day. I also thought it was super interesting how they tied this in with Loki being gender-fluid too (YA KNOW THAT TIME LOKI WAS A HORSE AND GAVE BIRTH….) Mythology is awesome, peoples. Plus Alex shapeshifts. So, epic levels are just exploding.
  • HEARTH and BLITZ are present as always and we get so much more of Hearth’s backstory! Also I commented in book 1 how I thought it was unrealistic how accurately Hearth read lips (when in fact it is very hard to read accurately), but you know what? NONE OF THAT WAS HERE OMG. There was much more emphasis on sign language! I’M SO PLEASED.
  • THE GODS were all nuts. Truly. I love it. Every time a new deity was introduced, just prepare yourself to laugh at the nonsense levels.

 

“Why doesn’t Thor go check this barrow himself?” I asked. “Wait…let me guess. He doesn’t want to draw attention. Or he wants us to have a chance to be heroes. Or it’s hard work and he has some shows to catch up on.”
“To be fair,” Otis said, “the new season of Jessica Jones did just start streaming.”

magnus-chase-thor-2-riordan Also there remains NO ROMANCE. I have a feeling we’ll ship Magnus/Alex eventually? They could be cute. I can see it in the future. So far though, it’s FRENS. And I love this so much about this series!

I love all the pop-culture references too. They’re hilarious. Everything is hilarious. And yes if I say “hilarious” one more time in this review you can come smack me with a replica Thor’s hammer. (I say “replica” because are you worthy enough to lift it? hahah. No. Me on the other hand…) I love how the gods are taking selfies and watching Netflix. Plus the talking-sword, Jack, loves singing pop-songs. I KNOW. JUST APPRECIATE THAT STATEMENT FOR A MINUTE.

 

I flung him overhead. Jack spiralled out of view, flying after the goat-killer while singing his own version of “Shake It Off”. (I have never been able to convince him that the line isn’t cheese graters gonna grate, grate, grate, grate, grate.)

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The actual plot was 80% awesome and 20%“this is kind of a needless side-tour and wut r we doing here get to the point mate”.

The quest to find Thor’s hammer was a bit too rambly, with some of the side-quests feeling like unnecessary detours. But you know what? I’m a concise person. I like to see something and GO GET IT IMMEDIATELY. So a more patient person would probably be cool with this. I just want to CUT TO THE CHASE (hahahah, get it…because Magnus Chase?! Okay, to be fair, I warned you my pun game was strong today). But we have bowling competitions with giants and talk about butt-dialing the apocalypse too. And it’s all amusing, so I shall shush.

But I still couldn’t put it down! I zooooomed through those 470-pages and JUST WANTED MORE.

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Basically it was a monstrous tome of fantasticness.

I finished off with a huge craving for (A) more books which are not out yet dangit, and (B) falafel because Magnus has quite a thing for falafel and like I need to get onboard with this?? Someone make me some, yes?? But HEY. I laughed! I flailed! Any time Percy Jackson’s name was tossed in I THINK I FANGIRLED FAR TOO HARD.

And now, if you need me, I’ll just be petting the cover, because the font is slightly raised and shiny and beautiful.

 

Etiquette tip: if you’re looking for the right time to leave a party, when the host yells “No one leaves here alive,” that’s your cue.

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THANK YOU TO PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE FOR THE REVIEW-COPY. Magnus Chase and the Hammer of Thor (Gods of Asgard #2) by Rick Riordan was published October, 2016.

4 stars

magnus chase and the hammer of thorThor’s hammer is missing again. The thunder god has a disturbing habit of misplacing his weapon – the mightiest force in the Nine Worlds. But this time the hammer isn’t just lost, it has fallen into enemy hands. If Magnus Chase and his friends can’t retrieve the hammer quickly, the mortal worlds will be defenseless against an onslaught of giants. Ragnarok will begin. The Nine Worlds will burn. Unfortunately, the only person who can broker a deal for the hammer’s return is the gods’ worst enemy, Loki – and the price he wants is very high.

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do you have a favourite Riordan character?!? (i know it’s a torturous question, but do your best) and what do you think of the Magnus Chase series? do you think the books are too long, or just perfection?? and what’s another book that made you laugh out loud??? LET US CHAT!

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Holding Up The Universe by Jennifer Niven // levels of #FABULOUSNESS are extreme

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I’ve been waiting for Holding Up the Universe for BASICALLY 74 YEARS.

Give or take, like, a few years…but it feels forever since I had my fragile and delicate destroyed by Jennifer Niven’s All The Bright Places (which coincidentally is one of my top favourited reviews on Goodreads with 400+ likes!) and I was SO READY FOR THIS NEW BOOK!

I’ll be honest: I don’t think it’s as good as ATBP. But it’s a different story, a different feel, and a different message. I don’t want to compare them too much! (I mean, it’s BAD ENOUGH that this poor book has that horrible permanent sticker on the front cover reminding it of its older sibling’s success while it is yet a new hatchling…poor dear.) All you need to know is: (A) I thoroughly enjoyed this, (B) even if I do have a few twitchy qualms, and (C) I am not destroyed! Yay!

HAHAHAH JUST KIDDING. THERE IS MUCH MORE YOU NEED TO KNOW. Read on, dear Algernon. We have much to discuss.

(And OBVIOUSLY this review will have no spoilers. But since it’s such a highly anticipated book across the blogosphere, I figured I should put that disclaimer.)

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I loved the message of being seen and finding self-worth.

Doesn’t everyone feel invisible and unwanted on occasion?? So this should resonate with basically 97% of everybody. Bless it. The story is equal parts about Libby (who is known as the “fattest teen in America”) and Jack (who has prosopagnosia, aka face blindness and recognises NOBODY). I adored their dual-narration and I loooooved their story line. NO BORING MOMENTS. Perfect pacing. And Jennifer Niven’s writing is A GIFT TO HUMANKIND ACROSS THE GALAXIES. Her writing always makes me feeeeel all the things.

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And the characters? BE STILL MY RAPIDLY BEATING HEART BECAUSE: JACK.

HE IS A PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL OF BAD DECISIONS. Seriously, such bad decisions. Stahp, Jack. He has prosopagnosia, which is face-blindness, which is actually a disability I’ve researched a lot and am quite interested about. I really felt for Jack. He doesn’t want anyone to know he can’t recognise faces, so he compensates by being “untouchable” like nothing and no one can hurt him with all his swagger. Plus I relate hugely to him, not because I have prosopagnosia, but just because I relate to (A) Jack having social anxiety, and (B) when he walks into a room he can’t recognise people so it’s basically like being surrounded by strangers all the time, and I struggle to read faces so Jack’s drowning feeling of “WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE, WHAT DO THEY THINK, WHAT’S GOING ON” was relatable to me and so so so well written.

Plus Jack has SWAGGER and an afro that he calls his LION’S MANE and the dude is just downright #FABULOUS.

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DUUUUUUDE.

 

Buuuut…I struggled to care about Libby.

She has a very self-righteous attitude and she makes DUMB DECISIONS TOO…but Jack is 100% aware of his, while Libby just denies/justifies hers. How is this fair??? It is not??? Jack and Libby BOTH assume people are going to make their lives hellish (#socialanxiety) but Libby deals with it by ALWAYS assuming the worst of people…even when they’ve done nothing but be nice to her. Ask first. Accuse later, maybe?? But HEY! Libby was seriously brave and intent on spreading messages of self-love and her sassy clap-backs to bullies were AMAZING.

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BRIEF LIST OF OTHER THINGS I LOVED

tiny fire arrow

  • SUPERNATURAL REFERENCES!! Which gives me life, honestly.
  • There is so much dancing. DANCING. The only time I’ve ever danced in my life is when I walked through a spider web, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate it. They rocked the dancing here.
  • So much diversity! Of size, ethnicity (Jack is biracial), mental illnesses, and disabilitites.
  • #HAIRAPPRECIATION. I’m not even sorry. I have a deep love of fabulous hair.
  • Hate to love romance. My FAVOURITE romance trope.
  • I HAD AN EMOTION. I actually got totally squished with emotions. At one stage it was SO INSUFFERABLY CUTE that I had to stop reading and just squee. Also there are times when I had to stop reading and HOWL.

 

BRIEF LIST OF DISLIKES, UNFORTUNATELY

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  • Well, Libby. Which I feel bad about, but seriously…sometimes I didn’t feel like shipping them?
  • Not really sure what everyone’s motivations where. Like why wouldn’t Jack tell his parents he was face-blind?? His family was having Big Issues, but STILL. And why wouldn’t Libby go to the principal when she was bullied? She told another girl to go to the principal for being bullied??? And why would Libby BULLY HERSELF and then turn around and speak about self-worth? She legit wrote nasty things about herself in the bathroom. I just…I don’t…understand???
  • Sometimes Jack’s face-blindness didn’t make sense. For instance, he can’t recognise his family’s faces. Yes. But he kept saying things like “the man I assume is my father walks into the room” WHICH MAKES NO SENSE. I can freaking tell which member of my family is coming down the stairs without seeing them. He has “identifiers” like hair and weight and voices and physical features like sticking-out-ears…so it seemed silly that he KEPT underlining he couldn’t recognise his family.
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I’M HOLDING UP THE UNIVERSE, YES.

This book is still a precious little universe * of wonder and I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN.

Sure I had quibbles, but I love love loved it and I just wanted to stay devouring it forever. Jack and his precious #FABULOUSNESS rates as one of my top-favourite-contemporary-boys. And any book that wants to talk about self worth is DOING GOOD IN THIS WORLD, THANK YOU. It hit me in the feels several times and just…HOLD ME. ** I love this book.

 

* See what I did there? HUH? HUH? GET IT?
** And see what I did there? I’m on a title pun ROLL right now, go me.

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THANK YOU TO PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE FOR THE REVIEW-COPY. Holding Up the Universe by Jennifer Niven was published October, 2016.

4 stars

28686840Everyone thinks they know Libby Strout, the girl once dubbed “America’s Fattest Teen.” But no one’s taken the time to look past her weight to get to know who she really is. Following her mom’s death, she’s been picking up the pieces in the privacy of her home, dealing with her heartbroken father and her own grief. Now, Libby’s ready: for high school, for new friends, for love, and for every possibility life has to offer. In that moment, I know the part I want to play here at MVB High. I want to be the girl who can do anything. 
Everyone thinks they know Jack Masselin, too. Yes, he’s got swagger, but he’s also mastered the impossible art of giving people what they want, of fitting in. What no one knows is that Jack has a newly acquired secret: he can’t recognize faces. Even his own brothers are strangers to him. He’s the guy who can re-engineer and rebuild anything, but he can’t understand what’s going on with the inner workings of his brain. So he tells himself to play it cool: Be charming. Be hilarious. Don’t get too close to anyone.
Until he meets Libby. When the two get tangled up in a cruel high school game—which lands them in group counseling and community service—Libby and Jack are both pissed, and then surprised. Because the more time they spend together, the less alone they feel. Because sometimes when you meet someone, it changes the world, theirs and yours.

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have you read a Jennifer Niven book?! what do you think?! tell me someone else here has serious fictional-hair-appreciation because i need to flail hairily. also: do you ever find yourself loving one character but not the other, so not shipping them so much?

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#MiniReviews // The Thrilly Thriller Edition

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We’re back to nefarious MINI REVIEWS!

Ah, now, I do realise I only did a batch last week, but I’m drowning in surprise review-copies so here we go anyway. This week I’m bunching the rather thrilly thrillers together — the ones that’ll make you shudder and consider moving to a lone island in the Maldives because people are scary.

Although (as seems to be popular with my mini-munchies) I personally wasn’t particularly terrified with any of these. But I always struggle to be impressed by thrillers. Why? I blame Dangerous Girls by Abigail Haas. It was THE most amazing thriller I’ve ever consumed (aka it left me traumatised for weeks) and since then nothing has quite lived up to it. I’m just apparently very hard to scare. (Unless you take away my cake.)

BUT MOVING FORWARD ANYWAY! Some of these might appeal to you, and in that case: ENJOY! And remember! Don’t talk to strangers, kids! Or better yet, don’t talk to anyone! They’re probably a psychopath!

 

(Thank you to Hot Keys, Simon & Schuster, Penguin, and Bloomsbury for these review-copies!)

with malice

WITH MALICE BY EILEEN COOK

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★★✩✩✩ // published June, 2016

with-malice-1Wish you weren’t here . . .
When Jill wakes up in a hospital bed with her leg in a cast, the last six weeks of her life are a complete blank. All she has been told is that she was involved in a fatal accident while on a school trip in Italy and had to be jetted home to receive intensive care. Care that involves a lawyer. And a press team. Because maybe the accident . . . wasn’t just an accident.
With no memory of what happened or what she did, can Jill prove her innocence? And can she really be sure that she isn’t the one to blame?

 

tiny thoughts

While it definitely kept me intrigued and suspicious of everyone, With Malice honestly failed me for pure slowness. Nothing much happened??? Which is weird for a thriller. And it felt like it was trying very very hard to be “the next Dangerous Girls” with the kids-overseas-for-a-holiday-and-something-goes-terribly-wrong thing but sort of bellyflopped. Or maybe I am just a moody grape. That option is viable too.

tiny pros

  • Good writing! I wanted ANSWERS, DANGIT and it was very easy to gobble up.
  • Everyone was suspicious. Always excellent for a murder-mystery-thriller-thing. I even suspected the cleaners at one point, which was ridiculous because they weren’t even there at the crime, but I like to be thorough.
  • Gelato. A book with gelato is doing it right, obviously.

tiny cons

  • It’s only half narrated by Jill. The rest is newspaper clippings, police transcripts, interviews, snippets from a guide book. Yes. A GUIDE BOOK. I don’t understand how that related at all. But all of these “extras” obviously gave us different opinions on the WHO DUNNIT, but they were also quite boring to read and just telling telling telling. I felt very unattached to the whole story.
  • Oh hello amnesia trope. I only see you in every thriller ever. #cliche
  • And poisonous friendships trope really frustrate me. It’s not a BAD trope, per se, it’s just one I’m thoroughly sick of. Particularly when BFF-stories (even when they are nice to each other) have little impact on me because how can girls be so backstabby and still say they’re friends??? I just??? I can’t????a415cecef23a9b66f90303e3df8fb14a
  • I felt like a lot of the story was IMPLIED instead of EXPLORED. Detachment = me.
  • The finale felt really out of character for Jill. I suppose when you’re under pressure…YOU CAN BREAK AND DO STUPID THINGS! Sure! But it made. no. sense. and therefore I disliked the ending.
  • It’s not even REALLY set in Italy. It’s mostly set in a rehab hospital. #napping
  • The message I’m taking away is: IF YOU HAVE A BFF ONE OF YOU IS PROBABLY GOING TO DIE AND THE OTHER GET ACCUSED OF YOUR MURDER SO LET’S ALL BE HERMITS ON SMALL ISLANDS OFF THE COAST OF WALES AND RAISE GOATS AND EAT CHEESE AND BE ALONE.
  • #winning

 

nerve

NERVE BY JEANNE RYAN

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★★✩✩✩ // published July, 2016

nerve-9781471146169_lgA high-stakes online game of dares turns deadly.
When Vee is picked to be a player in NERVE, an anonymous game of dares broadcast live online, she discovers that the game knows her. It tempts her with amazing prizes taken from her ThisIsMe page and teams her up with her perfect boy: sizzling-hot Ian. At first it’s exhilarating – Vee and Ian’s fans cheer them on to riskier dares with higher stakes. But the game takes a twisted turn. Just how far will Vee go before she loses NERVE?

tiny thoughts

Ah, a delightful book featuring stupid people doing stupid things for money. See the main problem here is I am a very logical person so I didn’t at all connect with anyone in this story because I couldn’t understand how they could DO STUPID THINGS FOR MONEY. Don’t you like life???? (Note: I like life.)

tiny pros

  • Initially it did keep me hooked. The whole premise is a bunch of people on the internet making other people do dares (the people who do the dares get money/prizes) and the whole time I was like “What whacky thing will happen next???”
  • Quick ‘n’ easy read! So if you’re curious but not sure, at least it won’t take you very long to devour. It’s under 300-pages!
  • The movie trailer looks good! Shh, this isn’t cheating. Also the movie trailer looks…nothing…like the book. Hmm.
  • tiny consIt hates on shy/quiet people. Vee is this shy/boring/responsible girl who decides those are really negative traits, ergo doing crazy dares will make her into a more interesting/better person. I HATE THIS TROPE. I think it’s harmful.
  • The rest of the characters felt irritatingly cliche. Like the combination of: (A) Tommy; the boy with an unrequited crush on Vee that she entirely is oblivious about, (B) the BFF who is a star and drama queen and gets angry if Vee dares be cooler than her; and then (C) the absolutely JERK OF THE YEAR boy who Vee is in luuuuuuve with (even though he only wants to talk about her bra size) and then (D) the hot, charming and too-nice-for-this-world NERVE partner Vee teams up with to do the dares WHO SHE GETS AN INSTA CRUSH ON BUT DON’T WORRY IT’S PROBABLY TRUE LOVE.
  • Most of the dares felt really dumb to me. Maaaybe that’s the point? But the Watchers have to PAY to watch people do this stuff. Would you pay to watch someone dump coffee on their head? #no
  • Vee is a Chronic Whiner. And crier. I mean, forget that SHE SIGNED UP FOR THIS ON HER OWN ACCORD, but she will sob her way through at least every dare.
  • Do people actually TRUST anonymous internet companies that get ahold of your personal information and start blackmailing you??
  • USE YOUR GOD GIVEN BRAINS, PEOPLE.

 

burning

ERM YES I COVERED MY WALL IN PENGUIN POSTCARDS #NOREGRETS

BURNING BY DANIELLE ROLLINS

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★★✩✩✩ // published July, 2016

27280428After three years in juvie, Angela Davis is just three months shy of release. She’ll finally see her little brother again. And she’ll get the hell out of the pit that is Brunesfield Correctional Facility.
But then Jessica arrives … She’s young, only ten years old, and she’s brought to Brunesfield in shackles under the highest security possible. She doesn’t speak and is placed in the segregation ward. No one knows what she did to end up there. But there are plenty of rumours. Soon creepy things begin to happen to Angela and her friends that can only be traced to the new girl’s arrival and it becomes clear that Jessica is more dangerous than anyone ever expected.

tiny thoughtsThis book is a crimey-paranormal-horror-thriller-sci-fi….I think. A book with an identity crisis? Anyway, it’s basically about Angela (who’s in Juvie) who gets manipulated into caring for a psycho 10-year-old WHO SETS FIRE TO THINGS WITH HER MIND. Epic premise, but the extremely far fetched sci-fi conspiracy series and the slow setting did ultimately turn me off.

tiny pros

  • Despite not being creepy enough, Jessica (the 10yo burning girl) still had some creeptastic moments! And she was cute! And psycho! SO YAY.
  • There is a pretty cool friendship dynamic between Angela and her two roomies: Issie and Cara. #FRIENDSHIPWIN
  • Plenty of diversity: including a variety of ages, ethnicity, and Angela has dyslexia.
  • Juvie is always an interesting setting. Reminds me why I’m a super good person and always keep on the right side of the law. (Except for that library fine that one time…)
  • tiny consSO SLOW. SOOOOO SLOOOOOOW. It’s a thriller, isn’t it?! But so many mundane chapters of kitchen duties where NOTHING HAPPENS and monologues from crabby guards and then Angela having no idea what’s happening for 94% of the plot = snooze.
  • I’m really not into the whole “evil creepy scientist conspiracy lady”. I mean, she wasn’t even being evil for a reason.
  • Angela’s backstory as SUCH a let down. She narrates in 1st person and is lumped in with the “dangerous/high security girls” and constantly says “I’M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT I DID TO END UP IN JUVIE AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME.” Well obviously the truth does come out and it’s incredibly lame. She’s claiming to be a “monster” but…seriously? No. Sit down you mild cucumber.
  • Let’s not even talk about the RANDOM ROMANCE WITH THE GUARD. Zero chemistry. Zero sense. They didn’t even know each other. Whyyyyyy was there romance????
  • Suspend disbelief. Suspend it all. Twice. Ugh.94b60447a1b4dbc71a265d884cf9eae1

 

miss peregrine's (2)

MISS PEREGRINE’S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN BY RANSOM RIGGS

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★★✩✩✩ // originally published 2011; movie-tie-in-cover August 2016

9781594749025A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. And a strange collection of very curious photographs. It all waits to be discovered in Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children, an unforgettable novel that mixes fiction and photography in a thrilling reading experience. As our story opens, a horrific family tragedy sets sixteen-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children who once lived here—one of whom was his own grandfather—were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a desolate island for good reason. And somehow—impossible though it seems—they may still be alive.

tiny thoughts

I’m kiiiiind of cheating here, because I read this book back in 2014. BUT HEY! This is the new movie-edition-tie-in-cover and I think it’s downright gorgeous. Unfortunately it doesn’t make me love the actual book. I know. I’m a complete letdown to society.

tiny pros

  • The weird vintage photos are COOL. And it’s just such an original and unique idea to tell a story with the help of creeptastic old photos.
  • The setting was super vivid! Boggy moors! Wales! Rain! Please never let me go there I’d drown!
  • It’s definitely peculiar. I AIN’T ARGUING WITH THE TITLE.
  • tiny consIt wasn’t really that creepy. I was not creeped. I demand to be creeped. Even though the photos were weird I didn’t think they were horrifying.
  • The writing didn’t really strike any emotions in me. It actually felt middle-grade in style/simplicity.
  • Which brings me to Jacob…he felt twelve. SORRY BUT HE DID. He was also quite boring and spoiled and he sits there whining “I have no friends” while I am like “DUDE LOOK AT YOUR ATTITUDE.” Plus most of the Peculiar children he meets are actually children. So why was he so much older?
  • Just for a book that’s so famous and hyped, I was monstrously underwhelmed.
  • Also — WHY IS JOHNNY DEPP NOT IN THIS MOVIE???? WHAT IS THIS????

 

 

CHAT

are you easily thrilled by thrillers?? recommend me a thriller that knocked your socks off??! and have you read any of these because me + your thoughts = an excellent idea. PLEASE CHAT COPIOUSLY.

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And I Darken by Keirsten White // Stabby Gender-Bent Vlad The Impaler

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And I Darken was a very viciously stabby book and for that? I AM A FAN.

Excuse me, I think my psycho is showing. Ahem. Let’s move forward to my thoughts, shall we? Because I have MANY THOUGHTS on this book. Unfortunately some of them clash — for instance: I loved the angry stabby characters but the plot felt as dry as burnt toast. See my problem here?

Basically, I am like so:

Me: This was deadly boring.
Brain: But the characters were precious violent cinnamon rolls.
Me: But I napped.
Brain: But gender-swapped Vlad the Impaler.
Me: …
Brain: RIGHT???
Me: OK SO TRUE. SO COOL.

(Myself and I have very stimulating conversations by the way.)

So despite my dubiousness, I am still SOLD into liking it.

“But what is the book actually about, Cait?” you ask, because it is an oddly unique tome. And LUCKY FOR YOU today I’m writing a list of things this book is about. So you can (A) know what to expect when you read it, and (B) know if it’s for you. It ain’t your average YA, so this list will help you know whether you should devour it at dawn.

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7 facts about

  • IT IS NOT FANTASY.
    Whoever is bopping around the internet saying “Ooh epic fantasy!” is WRONG and needs to sit down. This is historical fiction. Granted it is gender-swapped, but I don’t call that fantasy! I call that a retelling. So it’s a sort of historical fiction retelling. But there is zero magic okay? OKAY. Just clearing this up.

 

  • HELLO MONSTROUS AMOUNT OF POLITICS.
    It almost reminded me of Game of Thrones in that respect. Because And I Darken it is 90% about who is at war with who and who wants to stab and impale who and it’s about alliances and broken alliances and who gets the throne and etc etc.

 

  • HERE LET ME DROWN YOU IN ALL THE HISTORY OF EVER.
    This is definitely not a negative if you like historical facts! Except (A) not all the facts are historical (the author mentions this in her note at the end) so I unfortunately cannot wax poetic about Vlad the Impaler to my family because I’m not sure what was real or not. And (B) there was too much. The sheer amount of history actually drowned the story occasionally. We were so busy being told all these DETAILS about all these PEOPLE who hated each other that sometimes I just wanted them to sit down so we could actually get back to the characters. Here, let me calmly summarise: EVERYONE DISTRUSTS EVERYONE AND THERE’S STABBING.

 

  • WELCOME PRECIOUS MURDEROUS CHARACTERS.
    Peoples, the dark and viciousness in this book is THE REAL DEAL. Often I read books where it crows “I am so dark and scary!” and the character, like, sneezes on a puppy and doesn’t apologise or whatever. So scary. Please no. YOU GET NONE OF THAT HERE. Lada is downright CRUEL. She stabs and bites and she’s 100% feral and wild and she’s basically amazing. I loved her. She is the most violent thing I’ve read in a long time. (Although, that saying, the book isn’t actually written very graphically.) Also Other Things To Know:

    • It’s actually narrated 50% Lada and 50% Radu.
    • Radu is the younger brother and basically my favourite thing ever. He’s the “weak” one. He spent his childhood being abused and neglected. And despite Lada tormenting him 89% of the time, they have this awesome SIBLING BOND WHICH I ADORED.
    • They are the only ones they can depend on.
    • Seriously, these killer pumpkins are my favourite.
    • I cry over them.
    • I would never ever ever ever ever like to meet them in real life.
    • Just putting it out there.
    • I LOVE THEM FROM A DISTANCE.
    • OTHERWISE:

rara

 

  • ROMANCE? WE GOTCHA ROMANCE.
    It is a love triangle. But I’m going to call it an Unrequited Oblivious Triangle Wherein No One Expresses Feelings And Everyone Is Somewhat Awful. <— Much more accurate and you’re welcome.

    • See, there is this young Sultan named MEHMED who is actually a little beast but also very charming.
    • He loves Lada.
    • Lada takes a loooooooooooooooooong time to love him back.
    • Radu? RADU IS SO FREAKING IN LOVE WITH MEHMED THAT RADU BASICALLY SENTENCES HIMSELF TO HIS ROOMS SO HE CAN NEVER SEE MEHMED AGAIN. #logic
    • Mehmed has 0% of an idea that Radu loves him so much.
    • Do you see what I mean??? It ain’t your average triangle. Particularly considering most of the parties don’t even realise the other parties have feelings.
    • They are all for Oppressing Feelings.
    • And honestly, everyone’s so stabby and Mehmed has a harem and Radu manipulates people and Lada scares the living liver out of me that I don’t even know who I ship.
    • (Although Radu is only 16% stabby and too precious for this world and very clever and also a spy and will probably end up ruler of all, to be honest. #TeamRadu)

 

  • IT’S 500 PAGES.
    That, in itself, tells you a lot. AKA = it’s tooooo loooooooong. But there is, obviously, impaling. And my favourite scenes were the conversations between Mehmed and Lada and Radu. They were such an awesome and complex and dynamic trio. I will squish them. But I honestly wish the book had been half as long and involved MORE ACTION instead of all the monologues about politics. (Far too much telling vs showing.) Also I got completely befuddled by the dozens and dozens of minor characters. There’s a grand betrayal at the end, but I was sitting there like “Now how did what say now?” because remembering characters and names = HELP ME.

 

  • IT’S VIOLENT AND DARK.
    But I wouldn’t say overly graphic? There is death! But I felt like it mostly told the murder and mayhem instead of describing it in deep detail, which kept it well in the YA category. PEOPLE DO GET IMPALED THOUGH. Blood is shed and Lada is violently vicious. Just sayin’.

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and i darken (3)

I have fond feelings for this vicious book.

It wasn’t an easy read. It was gritty and brutal and cruel and it was intense and actually kind of emotional?! I FREAKING LOVED THE CHARACTERS SO VERY MUCH. I will definitely read on with the series!! I NEED MORE RADU.

Definitely try this one if you like (A) gender-bent historical fiction retellings, (B) actually brutal characters, (C) impaling, (D) tragic precious darlings who turn out to be wickedly intelligent, and (E) detailed historical universes.

Although, confession, I’m horribly disappointed it’s not Vladette the Impaler. I mean, MISSED OPPORTUNITY THERE. Apparently Ladislav is the female version of Vlad. Which is probably more logical than Vladette, but, ya know. #disappointed

and i darken (6)

THANK YOU TO PENGUIN RANDOM AUSTRALIA FOR THE REVIEW-COPY! And I Darken by Kiersten White was published June, 2016.

 

25324111No one expects a princess to be brutal. And Lada Dragwyla likes it that way.
Ever since she and her brother were abandoned by their father to be raised in the Ottoman sultan’s courts, Lada has known that ruthlessness is the key to survival. For the lineage that makes her and her brother special also makes them targets.
Lada hones her skills as a warrior as she nurtures plans to wreak revenge on the empire that holds her captive. Then she and Radu meet the sultan’s son, Mehmed, and everything changes. Now Mehmed unwittingly stands between Lada and Radu as they transform from siblings to rivals, and the ties of love and loyalty that bind them together are stretched to breaking point.
The first of an epic new trilogy starring the ultimate anti-princess who does not have a gentle heart. Lada knows how to wield a sword, and she’ll stop at nothing to keep herself and her brother alive.

4-stars

Publisher  Goodreads  Author’s Website  Buy

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\\ click to read the reviews //

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do you like historical fiction? how about viciously stabby anti-hero princesses? do you like when books include tons of politics to make the world deeper, or does that terrify you? OH AND HAVE YOU READ AND I DARKEN? AND PLEASE DO.

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Mini Munchy Reviews ~ Anna and the Swallow Man & Iris and the Tiger

iris and the tiger + anna and the swallow man

It’s been an awfully long time since I did some #MiniReviews. A TERRIBLE TRAVESTY. So today I’m combining Anna and the Swallow Man and Iris and the Tiger since they are a) both remarkably similar in title, b) featuring young children, and c) surprise review-copies and d) because why not.

Thank you to Text Publishing and Random Penguin House!

anna and the swallow man (2)

  Goodreads  Publisher  Purchase  2 Stars

Click To Read Blurb
Kraków, 1939. anna and the swallow manA million marching soldiers and a thousand barking dogs. This is no place to grow up. Anna Łania is just seven years old when the Germans take her father, a linguistics professor, during their purge of intellectuals in Poland. She’s alone.
And then Anna meets the Swallow Man. He is a mystery, strange and tall, a skilled deceiver with more than a little magic up his sleeve. And when the soldiers in the streets look at him, they see what he wants them to see.

The Swallow Man is not Anna’s father—she knows that very well—but she also knows that, like her father, he’s in danger of being taken, and like her father, he has a gift for languages: Polish, Russian, German, Yiddish, even Bird. When he summons a bright, beautiful swallow down to his hand to stop her from crying, Anna is entranced. She follows him into the wilderness.

Over the course of their travels together, Anna and the Swallow Man will dodge bombs, tame soldiers, and even, despite their better judgment, make a friend. But in a world gone mad, everything can prove dangerous. Even the Swallow Man.

My unfortunate thought, when closing this book, was emphatically: “WELL WHAT.” Since it’s getting stunning reviews mostly everywhere I go, I’m pretty sure it’s a “this is me being a melon, and the book is actually fine” sort of thing. But I didn’t “get” the story. And, because I’m mildly addicted to lists, I’ll write down the WHYS.

Why I Do Not Love This Story:tiny fire arrow

  • The narrator is 7 years old…but it’s written in a “literary” style that makes me think it’s for adults. But it’s being marketed as YA? I AM CONFUSED.
  • But trust me: this is not middle-grade. NOPE.
  • Since the story is set in WWII and is about Anna losing her father and being rescued/protected by the “Swallow Man”…it involves a lot of walking. And starving. And walking. And waaaalking. And I was mildly bored.
  • Anna spends the entire book having complicated thoughts that no seven year old really has.
  • I don’t actually know what the point of the Swallow Man and Anna’s journey was. Like what were they trying to achieve?????
  • Also, usually, I’m a fan of open endings? But I only feel like I read JUST HALF A BOOK. Where is the conclusion??
  • Also since Anna is so young — she misses stuff. This makes the reader needs to read between the lines and interpret. Now this complaint is “purely me”, okay?! But I’m not so good at reading between the lines, so I felt left out of the conversation.

 

Alternately, A Few Good Things About This Book:tiny fire arrow

  • It really truly is BEAUTIFULLY written. The words are all very exact and clever and the style is charming.
  • I haven’t read a book like this before?! CUE UNIQUENESS.
  • I definitely felt the cold and hunger and bewilderment of Anna…and books that make one feel a thing are very admirable. 
  • I feel like it’s meticulously well researched. 

 

The Truest Disappointment:tiny fire arrow

  • The Swallow Man actually swallows nothing. WHAT IS THIS LIFE.

iris and the tiger

Goodreads  Purchase  Publisher  3-stars

Click To Read Blurb
iris and the tigerTwelve-year-old Iris has been sent to Spain on a mission: to make sure her elderly and unusual aunt, Ursula, leaves her fortune–and her sprawling estate–to Iris’s scheming parents.

But from the moment Iris arrives at Bosque de Nubes, she realises something isn’t quite right. There isan odd feeling around the house, where time moves slowly and Iris’s eyes play tricks on her. While outside, in the wild and untamed forest, a mysterious animal moves through the shadows.

Just what is Aunt Ursula hiding?

But when Iris discovers a painting named Iris and the Tiger, she sets out to uncover the animal’s real identity–putting her life in terrible danger.  

And because I’ve started with the lists…WE MIGHT AS WELL CONTINUE. (I have a list addiction. I did warn you.) But, unlike the above review, Iris and the Tiger is emphatically Middle-Grade. Please find copious 12-year-olds and stuff this in their faces. They’ll thank you.

What I Liked Quite Gargantuanlly:tiny fire arrow

  • It features Iris, who is a mixed-culture kid, going to Spain to see a zany aunt, and there’s MAGIC. All the good stuff.
  • The zany aunt was incredibly awesome and weird.
  • Also the aunt’s house?! WEIRD AND WONDERLAND SORT OF DEAL.
  • While on her holiday in Spain, Iris makes friends with Jordi who was adorable.
  • I loooooved the Spanish setting and it felt so natural and nicely described that I FEEL LIKE I’VE VISITED SPAIN NOW.
  • Iris was a very factual, intelligent small human whom I easily admired and enjoyed reading about.
  • I discovered what a churro was. (A kinda donut thingy?!?)
  • I want one.

What I Am Not A Fan of Unfortunately:tiny fire arrow

  • I actually struggled to care about the storyline because…I’m not that interested in paintings. Like, I am a bit??? But reading a book about “finding the meaning” in a painting and all that is soooo not me. If it’d just been about the crazy magic, I would’ve been fine. BUT IT WEREN’T. Cue gnashing of teeth.
  • Also there was a lot of sub-plots about tearing down forests and building houses instead and…let me blink rapidly and not particularly care about that either.
  • If I was 12 reading this, I might’ve been a tiny bit uninvested?
  • But I was also an uncultured swine at 12 years old, so probably we should ignore me.

Iris and the Tiger was definitely a good, zany, fabulously written book. And pfft, even if I struggled to care about the storyline, I adored the characters so that’s good enough for me.

 

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