Retelling

A Curse So Dark And Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer || Retelling of Monstery Perfection? I Think YES

11th Feb 2019 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 41 Comments

This book is like receiving a warm, magical hug…and then getting a little stabbed in your little heart.

Just like a little stabbing. It’s ok. It’ll be fine. I’m only languishing like a flopped rag doll on the floor wishing for book two…(briiiiiing me closer to nEXT JANUARY).

I really adore Brigid Kemmerer’s work, with Letters To The Lost being one of my all time favourites. So I was excited to see her foray into epic fantasy too. And like, pfft, of course it did not disappoint. (I’m also keen to read her Elemental series which I have the first three books of so apparently it is The Year Of Kemmerer and do I look like I am complaining. I am not.)

Thank you to Bloomsbury Australia for the review-copy! This was out February 4, 2019!

➸ this is a beauty and the beast retelling!

I’m a ferocious fan of retellings, but I like them to bring something fresh to the old stories. And this one did. It’s obviously still Beauty and the Beast, but the plot twists were fresh and the characters felt new and I adored how this version has eternally replaying “Seasons” where Rhen tries again and again to break the curse — but he dies. And he reboots. And has to do it all over again. And over the course of the season, he has to make a girl fall in love with him as he slowly turns into a monster.

So basically he is in a Groundshog day of eternally being eighteen, a monster, and everyone hates him. HAve a good life Rhen.

Note: He is not having A Good Life.

➸ the magical castle was my favourite thing

It’s also stuck in time, so it’s this flawless cheerful and permanently lush and opulent castle (or prison) and it just mocks how horrible Rhen’s life is. Sweet music plays. Delicious food appears out of nowhere. It’s beautiful and eternal….and empty. Because his whole family is murdered, his kingdom is falling apart. He’s down to one guard (Grey). And this is the last season before the monster destroys him forever.

➸ but let’s talk about Harper ok?!

She was a fierce bucket of live-wire SPARKS. While Rhen is the Prince of a magical world called Emberfall, Harper hails from good ol’ earth (D.C. to be specific) and has a horrible home life. Her brother is a criminal, her mum is dying, and she gets kidnapped and zapped to a completely different dimension. So to say she is enormously pissed off is an understatement. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ She does NOT sit down and take this quietly. She will stab u. Twice. She also has cerebral palsy which I loved, because seeing badass girls with disabilities in magical settings is something YA needs.

Harper: I want answers!
Rhen: you…want to play cards??
Harper: a n s w e r s
Rhen: do you…want a nice drink?
Harper: aNSWERS OR I WILL STAB YOU
Rhen:
Rhen:
Rhen: do you want a snack”

➸ And shhh shh a moment for my fave: Grey.

I confess he was my absolute favourite of the whole book. He’s a secondary character, but I rotated shipping him with Harper AND Rhen. At least in the beginning, lol lol. He’s Mister Solemn Loyal Soldier Sir (but secretly plays with kids and is soft™) and he’s the mum-friend and the protector. He will BLEED for Rhen and Harper.

THE MUM FRIEND OK.

➸ so let’s talk about the romance…was it Stockholm Syndrome?

Actually no! Obviously Harper is Not Thrilled™ to be kidnapped. But Rhen wasn’t aggressive or domineering either. He was actually…dude, he was depressed. He hide it behind being aloof and princely, but he gets tortured by a witch at night and he knows he turns into this monster that kills people and he’s just…so so done. He’s tired and sad and smol.

Harper is this woman of ACTION (let’s SAVE Emberfall! Let’s FITE the bad guys! Let’s CHANGE things!) and Rhen is this exhausted Slytherin just like…watching her go for it.

Harper: *charges off to save something*
Grey: should go after her
Rhen: nah
Rhen: let’s wait till she’s stabs something and falls over then we’ll help

➸ The ending freaking ruined me also, thanks for that, and how was your day?

I’m just pining for the next book. I was blatantly HIT with emotions and then left with so so many questions. The plot twist? I applaud. The end was full of monstrous action scenes, blood and viscera, aching hearts and shredded hopes.

➸ it was very long.

So the pacing was slow (and they spent a lot of time going back and forth from an inn lol) but this also developed Harper and Rhen’s personalities and relationship so!! There’s that.

A Curse So Dark And Lonely is a vivid retelling that’s full of lush magic, complex charaters and and over whelming feeling of loneliness. It’s about people who think they are alone in their fight…until they’re not. And it’s about wanting and fierce love and getting back up when you’ve been cut down. It is about a girl who brings hope to a boy who is terrified of the monster inside him.

It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.
Nothing has ever been easy for Harper Lacy. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she’s instead somehow sucked into Rhen’s cursed world.
A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn’t know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what’s at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

Goodreads | Booktopia | Bloomsbury | Book Depository

➸ similar titles to try…

tell me what your favourite YA retelling is?! are you a fan of Beauty & The Beast and is this one on your TBR??

Why You Should Read The Darkly Magical Reckless Series By Cornelia Funke (Because I Said To & Other Helpful Reasons)

20th Mar 2017 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 88 Comments

I have found the most WONDERFULLY dark and magical story!

And I won’t lie: I’m in love. I had absolutely no idea what to expect from Cornelia Funke’s MirrorWorld series. I read Inkheart about 99 years ago in my wayward youth, but this series never accosted my eyeballs for some reason??? BUT HERE IT IS IN MY LIFE NOW. And I love it 500%. And I’m about to throw the first three books at your head and demand you read them. I’ll give you good reasons though, aside from “because I said so” even though that’s the only reason you truly need.

Also since this is an overall list review it will (A) contain NO SPOILERS so don’t freak out! and (B) you can read my Goodreads reviews for the first three books individually here: The Petrified Flesh, Living Shadows, The Golden Yarn.

Note: These were published originally back in 2010 I believe. They’ve been republished, reprinted, re-written, and recovered. #Lovely And they’re translated from German!

Thank you Allen & Unwin for the review copies!

1. IT’S FULL OF DARKLY MAGICAL FAIRY TALE AWESOME.

I’m a huge fairy tale addict but I like dark fairy tales and I rarely find any that actually fit what I’m craving. But this??! THIS?!?!??! This is like a checklist of everything that is awesome in retellings! Plus it’s a massive mashup. So you’ll see snippets of folklore, Russian tales, mythology, Grimm tales, and magical mythical twists. And it’s full of magic that’ll eat you up and spit out your bones. THE MONSTERS UNDER YOUR BED ARE REAL, MY CHILDREN, AND THEY ARE HUNGRY.

Why do you like your retellings so dark, Cait.

I just…I just do okay.

2. IT’S SET IN MIRROR WORLD VS OUR WORLD.

Which means they get to fling themselves through mirrors to get around. It’s very nice. And since I’ve had zero luck with my wardrobe and Narnia, if you need me, I’ll be trying to crawl like a hellion through my mirror and hopefully land in MirrorWorld or Wonderland. I’ll take either/or.

3. ALSO THE WORLD BUILDING IS MY ACTUAL NEW FAVOURITE THING.

Since it’s a mirror world, it still vaguely resembles Europe, but like EUROPE + SO MUCH MAGIC. And some of the borders/names are different and like some countries are not French or whatever, but rather Goyls who are made out of stone and will probably kill you. But the best part was how deep and complex the world was. Each book just added more layers! You could get lost in all the endless possibilities of this world, and the myths and magic and people and powers and thorn bushes that want you for a snack.

4. JACOB RECKLESS IS BASICALLY A MAGICAL INDIANA JONES X WINCHESTERS.

You better know who Indiana Jones is, okay? Don’t make me feel old. But basically: treasure finder, part time thief, collector of magical artefacts that he sometimes sells them and he shouldn’t. He’s spent most of his life in Mirrorworld because he likes it better there. And book one takes off with his little brother climbing in after him and, you know, NEARLY DYING AND GETTING TURNED INTO A BOY OF JADE. So Jacob has to fix that. Basically Jacob’s aesthetic is: making very bad decisions and nearly dying to fix them. He is precious. He’s also extremely proud (“don’t help me I can do this”) and fails a lot (“but yet I’m dying pls help”) and loves very intensely but denies it and will stab you in the face if you say he has feelings.

SO MANY FEELINGS.

I HAVE FEELINGS NOW, DARNIT, JACOB.

Also the brother love is strong with this one and makes me think of my favourite Winchesters. This series just keeps getting better seriously.

5. I THINK I’M IN LOVE WITH ALL THE CHARACTERS TO BE HONEST.

There are a lot and I mixed up a lot of minor ones — but this is on me, because I can’t even remember my own niece’s names. But the main characters were such amazing little dangerous tragic violent children that I loved them so much.

JACOB RECKLESS: treasure hunter and Mister I Am Invincible who is always getting very hurt but will scowl his way back to life.
WILL RECKLESS: Jacob’s little bro who will kill you with kindness and happiness. Is basically a puppy who will cuddle you to submission. Worships his brother.
CLARA: Will’s girlfriend who’ll save him because cute boys needing saving a lot; they are so incapable.
FOX: a shapeshifter who Jacob saved and who saves Jacob at least 76 times a day and they are MADLY IN LOVE but will MADLY DENY IT. “Just friends”, pfft, save it. She’s epic, complex, capable, will bite you, and also cuddle you.
DARK FAIRY: likes to play with people and kill them slowly. #1 hobby is messing with Jacob.
THE BASTARD: Jacob’s rival in the treasure hunting business. Would like to shoot Jacob with shiny crossbow but then he would be bored with no one to squabble with??? Sherlock/Moriarty relationship. 10/10 am a fan.
CHANUTE: Jacob’s mentor and is also Grumpy Cat.
VALIANT: sassy dwarf who will sell you for a grape.
ALMA: healer and will fix you up kindly when you get impaled with magic all the time; everyone’s mother; gives you The Look when you lie.

Precious. All of them. Help me I have too many feelings of adoration here.

6. IT’S ACTUALLY QUITE DARK ALTHOUGH NOT GRAPHIC.

I mean, heyyyyy you know me. DARK BOOKS FOR LIFE. (Or death. I don’t even know.) So I always say “the darker the better” but if you like stabbing but no graphicness than this is for you! But like the characters are not spared and if something bad is going to happen or someone’s going to get stabbed: IT GOES DOWN. They’re all always bleeding all over the place and yet keepin’ on keepin’ on until forced to take a nap.

But stabby levels = very pleasing.

7. THE PLOT HAS NO CHILL.

I mean, could these characters do with a nap? Yes. Will they get one? No. They go straight from facing monsters who eat children’s souls to busting people out of prison to kissing sleeping stone boys awake to getting magically cursed by fairies who’d like to see you dead yesterday. Also the pacing is A+! There’s lots of travel but it’s never boring. And we see SO MANY different countries (including a magical version of Russia!!) and settings and scenery.

8. IT TREATS WOMEN LIKE THE EPIC CREATIONS THEY ARE.

I get really sick of all the sexism I have to generally put up with in fantasy. This isn’t a world of equality, though, and most of the characters are men. But it has so many awesome women and they do NOT let themselves be walked over. I looooove it. We have Sleeping Beauty twists but the boy is asleep. And Fox/Jacob equally have to rescue each other.

9. THE ROMANCE IS SUPER SLOW BURN.

Lots of people love romance to feature in books, and this DOES have it! But it truly doesn’t overpower the main plots (rescuing brothers; finding treasures; breaking curses; not dying, etc.) and it’s absolutely one of my favourite ships. I mean, the way Fox and Jacob just dance around their feelings MADE ME WANT TO HIT THEM WITH A SMALL FRYING PAN. But #ShipIt. I tell you, I have not been invested in a romance like these two for quite some time omg. And this is ME. The unromantic VULCAN.

10. YOU SHOULD READ IT BECAUSE I SAID TO.

Come on. I HAD TO PUT THIS ON HERE. I am the Fury Queen and it’s imperative that you listen to me. I gave each book 4-stars (!!!!) and I’m suffocatingly in love with them. Dark and stabby and gorgeous I just — I AM AN IN INTENSE ADORATION. And there’s more coming. Apparently they’ll be 6!! I’m so happy. They’re creative and intense and unique and will stress out your small feelings. Such a fan here. SUCH A FAN. Also those covers are despicably gorgeous. I want to eat them all.

RECKLESS: THE PETRIFIED FLESH BY CORNELIA FUNKE

Buy Reckless I Buy Reckless II Buy Reckless III Goodreads

★★★★☆

Ever since Jacob Reckless was a child, he has been escaping to a hidden world through a portal in his father’s abandoned study. Over the years, he has made a name for himself as a finder of enchanted items and buried secrets. He’s also made many enemies and allies — most important, Fox, a beautiful shape-shifting vixen whom Jacob cares for more than he lets on.
But life in this other world is about to change. Tragedy strikes when Jacob’s younger brother, Will, follows him through the portal. Brutally attacked, Will is infected with a curse that is quickly transforming him into a Goyl — a ruthless killing machine, with skin made of stone.
Jacob is prepared to fight to save his brother, but in a land built on trickery and lies, Jacob will need all the wit, courage, and reckless spirit he can summon to reverse the dark spell — before it’s too late.

who’s a fan of dark retellings?!? or do you prefer fluffy ones?? have you read a Cornelia Funke book? and what do you think of Reckless??? ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT IT BECAUSE I AM.

Roseblood by AG Howard // Phantastic Review (!!) Q&A (!!!) #Giveaway (!!!!!)

14th Jan 2017 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 156 Comments

I’m so excited to be doing an incredibly special post about Roseblood by AG Howard!

And you should be excited too because I have a Q&A with the amazing master wordsmith AG Howard herself. And there’s an international giveaway at the end. BLESS THIS UNIVERSE.

Roseblood is like one of my #1 anticipated books of the year because (A) I’ve always been obsessed with the Phantom of the Opera, (B) and I mean I had a stage of my childhood where all I did was bash out the theme song on the piano most horrendously, and (C) I’ve also got a soft spot for ghostlike morally grey grapes like the Phantom, and (D) AG Howard’s books always impress and I’m a huge fan of her Splintered Alice in Wonderland retellings too. #BeStillMyBeatingHeart

Are we ready?? ARE YOU SINGING PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IN YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW? (Because you better.) LET US FLAIL, ANGELS OF MUSIC.

(Also this cover, amirite?!? It’s too gorgeous.)

Goodreads Amazon Twitter Author’s Website

In this modern day spin on Leroux’s gothic tale of unrequited love turned to madness, seventeen-year-old Rune Germain has a mysterious affliction linked to her operatic talent, and a horrifying mistake she’s trying to hide. Hoping creative direction will help her, Rune’s mother sends her to a French arts conservatory for her senior year, located in an opera house rumored to have ties to The Phantom of the Opera.
At RoseBlood, Rune secretly befriends the masked Thorn—an elusive violinist who not only guides her musical transformation through dreams that seem more real than reality itself, but somehow knows who she is behind her own masks. As the two discover an otherworldly connection and a soul-deep romance blossoms, Thorn’s dark agenda comes to light and he’s forced to make a deadly choice: lead Rune to her destruction, or face the wrath of the phantom who has haunted the opera house for a century, and is the only father he’s ever known.

THE #1 REASON YOU SHOULD READ IT IS I TOLD YOU TO AND I AM FIERCE.

IT IS CREEPILY BRILLIANT. As all gothic retellings should be. The actual aesthetics of this book just make my soul give a happy sigh. Dead gardens and bleeding roses and violins and ancient theatre masks and DOOM with a sidedish of psychotic Phantoms. And it’s set in a boarding school inside a very old opera house and if that’s not aesthetically pleasing THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS.

IT HAS A SORT OF SEQUEL VIBE. It’s set in modern times (in Paris #blessthisbook) and follows Rune who is a super amazing opera singer — basically because she’s magically possessed and controlled by music. It ruins her life. So you’d think the Phantom would be dead? BUT NO. HA HA HA. In fact the Phantom has adopted a son (Thorn who is a magical violinist) which is just about the best plot twist I’ve ever heard of. IT’S LIKE AN APPRENTICE MANIAC PHANTOM.

IT’S DUAL POV! And it does it in my favourite way, with having Rune in 1st person and Thorn in 3rd. SO BASICALLY AG HOWARD WROTE IT WITH ME IN MIND. #ActualTruth

There is much music! I actually love books about music and can’t find many of them. So here we have Rune + singing. And Thorn + magical violining. AND THEY COMPLETE EACH OTHER. I’ll mention here that their ship name is Rune + Thorn = Tune. Also Thorn played music inside Rune’s head. Because why not. All the cool kids are using dreams for communication. Out of the way iPhone 6. We gotcha creepy brain possession.

I EMPHATICALLY LIKE THE CREEPY. It even reminded me of This Savage Song with the themes of monsters and mayhem. Also Rune was 5000% aware how creepy it was and I loved her comments about “help me I’m in a horror movie”. Very meta. Very nice.

And the writing is gorgeous. It has AG Howard’s trademark luscious prose and descriptions, although sometimes it was a wee bit too much and I would’ve preferred it to be more fast-paced and been IN the story more, instead of being TOLD the story quite so much. But that’s just me whinging a little in the background and considering I am entirely obsessed with this book still? It didn’t affect my enjoyment.

If you want an emotional and slightly manic retelling of the Phantom of the Opera: here it is. It calls to you, it sings to you, angel of music. I spent the entire ending freaking out over our morally grey Phantom and the starcrossed lovers of Rune and Thorn and wondering if EVERYONE WAS GOING TO BURN AND DIE. And a good book is one that is slightly stressful and entirely beautiful.

A.G. Howard is the International and NYT bestselling author of the Splintered Series, with a slew of other classical spinoffs and original stories in the works that she hopes will one day find a place on the shelves.
She was inspired to write her tribute to Carroll’s Wonderland while working at a school library. Her pastimes are reading, rollerblading, gardening, and family vacations which often include impromptu side trips to 18th century graveyards or condemned schoolhouses to appease her overactive muse.
SPLINTERED, UNHINGED, ENSNARED, and UNTAMED, the first four books in her urbanized /gothic Alice in Wonderland series, are now available from Amulet Books. Also soon to be available from Amulet is her Phantom of the Opera spinoff, ROSEBLOOD — slated to launch January 2017.
THE ARCHITECT OF SONG, the first book in her New Adult historical literary romance saga, will be available in August 2016.

HOW LONG DID IT TAKE ROSEBLOOD TO GO FROM FIRST IDEA TO FINISHED NOVEL?

A.G. HOWARD: Hmmm. That’s an interesting question, because I actually contemplated a Phantom retelling even before I wrote Splintered. I’d seen other adaptations of The Phantom of the Opera — and one prequel that I adore (Phantom by Susan Kay) — but not many spinoffs or continuations. Like I did with Splintered, I knew I wanted to make it modern and contemporary to set it apart, while still retaining the elements of the original (gothic in this case). All I needed was a way to explain the Phantom’s longevity…how he had survived so many years. While I was trying to figure that out, the AiW idea came to me, and I opted to write it first. After it was so well received, it gave me the confidence to tackle the Phantom’s spinoff possibilities. So if I’m counting from the actual idea phase, it took 7 years for my story to make it onto paper. However, it actually took me a little over 7 months to research and write it once I finally began.

EVERYONE HAS SUCH BEAUTIFUL AND UNIQUE NAMES IN ROSEBLOOD! DO YOU HAVE A PROCESS FOR PICKING OR FINDING CHARACTER NAMES?

A.G. HOWARD: Thanks! Often, when I start a story, my names don’t always have a meaning. I just know my characters—who they are, the role they’ll play, even a head shot of what they look like—and I hop onto Internet databases and skim through baby names. The right ones will simply jump out at me. Hard to explain, but my gut knows what name is right. However, in RoseBlood, there were two names that I chose before I even knew anything about the characters other than that they would be the main POVs. I wanted the male POV’s name to be Thorn, in keeping with the rose theme/symbolism that’s prevalent throughout the book. As for the female POV’s name, I chose the word “Rune” because its definition parallels the book’s magical, otherworldly subplots: a prayer, poem, or a saying with mystical meaning or for use in casting a spell. Her surname, Germain, was also chose specifically to play a role in the mystical elements. If you surf the net for “Comte Sainte-Germain”, you’ll turn up fascinating rumors from the 1700’s of a man suspected of being immortal and having great talents and intellect, along with a knack for alchemy and black magic. I wanted Rune to be related to him, so his surname became hers.

CLEARLY YOUR GOTHIC RETELLINGS ARE ABSOLUTELY THE BEST THINGS TO GRACE OUR SHELVES. ARE THERE OTHER TALES YOU THINK WOULD MAKE EXCELLENT GOTHIC RETELLINGS?!

A.G. HOWARD: You’re so kind to say that! Thank you. 🙂 There are so many! Here are just a handful off the top of my head (fairytales and classics both) that I would consider expanding/reworking: Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel (although it would be hard to beat Disney’s Tangled), Jekyll and Hyde, A Midsummer’s Night Dream, and Dracula.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STOPPING BY, ANITA!

OPEN INTERNATIONALLY!!
3 x mask and swag sets (donated by the author! yay!)
1 x Amazon ebook of Roseblood (from me because YOU ALL MUST READ IT!!)
there’ll be 3 prizes, with 1st place getting a swag set AND the ebook, and the two subsequent winners getting a swag set each
Also you must sing Phantom of the Opera to enter. I’ll be checking. Better believe it.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

do you have a small soft spot for The Phantom of the Opera?!? have you read any of AG Howard’s books?? OH OH. and what classic or fairy tale do YOU think would make an epic gothic retelling???

Hold Me Like a Breath by Tiffany Schmidt // Mafia Organ Pirating Fairy Tale (!!)

8th Aug 2016 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 64 Comments

I was pleasantly surprised by this book!

Call me a Skeptical Sally * but I went in with very low expectations due to hearing a LOT of negative things about this book. ** But you know what? Having zero expectations paid off! I enjoyed myself! Several times I wanted to mildly murder the protagonist (as you do probably) and I had to turn my over-analysing-logical-brain off. BUT APART FROM THAT — IT WAS A SOLID STORY!

And can we appreciate the fact that it is a fairy tale retelling with a Mafi Family (!!) who sell organs on the black market?!?? Because I appreciate this.

* Except actually don’t because that’s not my name and shame on you.
** And by “a lot” I mean a ton of 1 and 2 star reviews. YIKES.

MAFIA (!!) FAMILY (!!!) Excuse me, I have ENTHUSIASM. It reminded me of White Cat (aka the best book of ever) with the entire family being involved in the crime world of selling organs on the black market. (Although we won’t discuss how, erm, competent this crimey family was. Because no.)
IT’S A FAIRY TALE RETELLING. Of the Princess and the Pea! Which is a tale I never see retold, so yes please and thank you. (Also I just realised while writing this review that Penelope’s name is because of the PEA. OH. GENIUS.)
FEATURES A PECULIAR DISEASE. Penelope has idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura — basically she bruises really easy, her blood platelets are attacking themselves, and she could die. Like, any minute now.
SECONDARY CHARACTERS ARE MY DARLINGS. I full admit I loved them more than Penelope.
- CARTER: He’s Penelope’s older brother and he’s basically dashing and dorky all at once. Plus he loves his ~~ridiculously irritating~~ little sister so much. SO CUTE. Plus he’s heir to the Family business and all that. Good times.
- GARRETT: He was adorable and tragic. He’s a bodyguard to the Family and he and Carter are BFFs. His whole family are bodyguards and they’re AWFUL and Garrett is abused by them and he’s so loyal to Carter and he’s kind and fajdksalfdj. #GarrettAppreciation
- Why was the book not specifically about Garrett and Carter? I ASK YOU THAT.
- Also FYI don’t be like me: don’t call them Carrot and Garter.
- I admit to doing this a lot. Accidentally.
- (Or was it an accident?? MWHAHAHAH.)
THERE IS DEATH. Excuse me, my dark side is showing. But I like it when books don’t threaten to get bloody, but they actually do. Plus I got quite cut up about one plot-twist-death so FEELS ALERT.
PLOT TWISTS = A+. Seriously. There are many twists. All are glorious.

PENELOPE WAS A BASKET OF WHINE AND CHEESE. Mostly whine, but when she got sappy and flirty at the most ridiculous moments, there was cheese. She’s been raised a spoiled Mafia child BRAT, so I get it. She has this disease and her parents love her (TOO MUCH PROBABLY) so she’s coddled. But honestly? She was insufferable at times. Whiny, demanding, selfish, etc. etc.
PLUS HER REACTIONS WERE RATHER OFF. Like she should be scared/sad/grieving but no she is having a summery romance fling.
THE ROMANCE IS NOT GOOD. Hahahha…#nope. It starts off (obviously) with Penelope crushing on Garrett (aka the only boy she’s ever known) but later on she’s hiding out in the city and meets a random boooooooy and it’s truuuuuue looooooove. #nopeagain For STARTERS: Penelope and Garrett had zero chemistry, so I do not ship them. (Probably because I’ll have Garrett for myself.) But the second half of the book is just SWAMPED in this random romance with this random dude. Coffee shop dates. Museums. Walks in the park. LIKE, NO. I AM BORED. WHERE IS THE ORGAN SELLING? WHERE IS THE MAFIA? WHERE IS THE MURDER??????
PACING IS OFF. See above. The first 50% is MURDER AND CHAOS and then the next 40% is dull coffee shops and duller flirting argh aargh arghghh.
NO ONE TOLD PENELOPE ANYTHING. Which is fair since she is a delicate whine and cheese basket. But, as a reader, it was super irritating. The book is basically: Penelope says “Please tell me what’s going on.” Everyone else answers, “NAHHHHH.” Well I’m about to break a plate. The Family was very condescending and sexist towards her and it was frustrating.

It’s not a favourite, but I definitely enjoyed myself!

I think low-expectations helped and if you skim the random romance fling (because literally nothing important goes down in that section) then it is a glorious book of Mafia and organ-black-markets and intriguing fairy-tale-retelling twists. Guns! Tragic boys! Plot twists! GOOD STUFF. *

* It just needed less Penelope and more everything else of ever. Like anything else. Literally. I will beg. It could’ve been narrated by Carrot or Garter or a potato. #BetterOptions

THANK YOU TO BLOOMSBURY FOR THE REVIEW-COPY! Hold Me Like A Breath by Tiffany Schmidt was published July 2016.

Penelope Landlow has grown up with the knowledge that almost anything can be bought or sold—including body parts. She’s the daughter of one of the three crime families that control the black market for organ transplants.
Penelope’s surrounded by all the suffocating privilege and protection her family can provide, but they can’t protect her from the autoimmune disorder that causes her to bruise so easily.
And in her family’s line of work no one can be safe forever.
All Penelope has ever wanted is freedom and independence. But when she’s caught in the crossfire as rival families scramble for prominence, she learns that her wishes come with casualties, that betrayal hurts worse than bruises, that love is a risk worth taking . . . and maybe she’s not as fragile as everyone thinks.

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is there an obscure fairy tale you wish was retold?? tell meeeeeee. and do you generally go into books with low or high expectations?? OH and have you read this book?! i definitely wish to compare thoughts!

42 Reactions While Reading Winter

23rd Dec 2015 by C.G. @ Paper Fury 143 Comments

Do you know how hard it is to review series finales!? SUPER HARD. So instead of my normal review, I decided to show you my reactions to Winter (The Lunar Chronicles #4) by Marissa Meyer. Like Goodreads status updates. (Basically this was inspired by all the shrieking emails I sent to Lisa while I read. She is a good friend to put up with so much shrieking from moi.) But you can read a normal(ish?) review on Goodreads too, if you wish it. I listened to it as an audio and let me just say…best decision ever. I wasn’t so intimidated by the monstrous amount of pages!

SO LET’S DO THIS.

(Although I’m so sad it’s all over…this series definitely goes down as a favourite of ever.)

(Also no spoilers below!)

This book is ridiculously huge and I am ridiculously excited. BUT IT’S SO HUGE. I could possibly wage war on Sauron with this brick and win from sheer intimidation.

The audiobook pronounces “Jacin” like “Jason“….which is messing with my delicate grey matter because I have been saying “Jack-in” all this time. Please tell me I’m not alone…

Winter is a little adorable popsicle of sunshine and crazy.

The audiobook has also given Scarlet a French accent. EXCUSE ME BUT I LOVE THAT.

Wolf is sad, for obvious reasons at the conclusion of book 3, so Cress just made the sad-Wolf-puppy a sandwich. 50-pages in and I’m having feels.

Wolf made a strangled sound, pulling everyone’s attention toward him as he lifted a handgun from the crate. “It’s just like the one Scarlet had.” He flipped the gun in his palms, running his thumb along the barrel. “She shot me in the arm once.”
This confession was said with as much tenderness as if Scarlet had given him a bouquet of flower rather than a bullet wound. (pg79)

Jacin is a guard and NOT ALLOWED to talk to Winter, so she brought her painting project into the hallway where he’s on duty. So they can be together. SO THAT IS CUTE.

Everything that comes out of Thorne’s mouth is my favourite.

“And once we get Scarlet back, she and Wolf are going to retire to some farm in France and have a litter of baby wolf cubs.”

My entire thoughts on “The Plan To Overthrow Levana And Put Cinder On the Throne of Lunar”:
Who’s organising this plan? WHO THOUGHT OF IT? IT IS SO FULL OF HOLES SWISS CHEESE IS JEALOUS.

I adore how Winter is such a complex character. She has horrible delusions she can’t control and they really mess with her mind…but she uses this. She lets everyone think she’s a silly crazy child, but when it matters, she can manipulate people (without glamour) just by letting them underestimate her and then being awesome. She is so clever.

So Wolf’s real name is Alpha Ze’ev Kesley? Wow. I probably should’ve known that. But I did not. His name sounds like a sneeze.

At this point I’ve just remembered that the original Snow White tale involves the Huntsman “killing” Snow White in the woods. ALSO A POISONED APPLE. And Marissa Meyer always weaves this stuff in perfectly but — yelp! I wonder how this’ll play out…

Jacin has “Protection Syndrome”. He sees a thing and just…wants…to…PROTECT IT.

If you mess with Scarlet (and her ADORABLE French accent) — you will get no sympathy. You will get growled at. Possibly punched.

Winter is a precious little gem who cannot be harmed. She is sweet and kind and naive and oblivious and tortured and precious. Precious, I tell you. She reminds me a bit of Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter.

Wherein, in the midst of a high energy action scene, Winter pauses and tells her companion to buckle up their seatbelt. SAFETY FIRST. I told you she is precious.

I confess: I dislike how unorganised the rebellion is. It’s relying on hope and trust and pixie dust basically. I kind of hoped there would be an intelligent plan to squee over… As a reader, I nearly feel detached because victory is SO slim. (I’m also mildly attracted to intelligence and none of the characters are being geniuses right now. Boo.) Every time something bad happens, all I can think of is, “Duh, of course that’s what would happen. Logic.” So I am feeling a little let down.

Scarlet and Winter’s friendship is just about my favourite thing ever.

Thorne is glorious. This is why:

“My point is that I am going to figure this out, like I always do. First, we’re going to find a way to get into Artemisia. We’re going to find Cress and rescue Cinder and Wolf. We’re going to over-throw Levana, and by the stars above, we are going to make Cinder a queen so she can pay us a lot of money from her royal coffers and we can all retire very rich and very alive, got it?”

#priorities

I feel so bad for Kai right now.

I love Cinder. I DO. But I feel a bit weird that there’s been so much Cinder POV in this section (I’m around page 400) instead of Winter. Considering, ya know…Winter is the title…

Okay THAT action scene was the best of the book so far. The B.E.S.T.

The book honestly had such a drag there in the middle … but now the writing is back to being A+, the action incredible, and the humour snortingly golden. Thank goodness.

APPLE ALERT! APPLE ALERT!

Yes eat the apple the creepy old woman gives you, Winter. Good job. Very smart.

Everything is horrible and wrong and I’m 90% worried right now. I’m reserving the 10% because it’s not even the finale yet.

YELP. WOLF. WHAT HAVE THEY DONE.

I want to cry. Just so you know.

Basically me listening to the audiobook when a human tries to talk to me:

This book is everything. LEAVE ME WITH MY FRIENDS OF THE MOON.

Kai’s chapter just gave me goosebumps and I am so sad, but SO PROUD of the darling….

And Kai’s incredible, heart-pounding chapter is followed directly by Iko complaining about clothes — this is why I love this series.

And this is why I love when Throne and Cinder are in the same room:

Thorne scoffed. “Careful is my middle name. Right after Suave and Daring.”
“Do you even know what you’re saying half the time?” asked Cinder.

You know how many tears I have right now? PROBABLY MORE THAN 12 TEARS.

But yet Jacin’s horrific driving gives me life.

The narrator’s “Australian” accent….HAHAHAHA NO. It’s basically offensive. Please stop.

Cress is a tiny adorable anxious hacker and I love her. I love anxious characters who are epic. Also she’s wearing an orange tutu and is causing infinite chaos.

Action scenes with Thorne are always quite fun.

Except now they’re not.

Help me. I’VE FALLEN INTO A PIT OF AGONY AND CAN’T GET UP.

Reason #22424 to love Winter:

“Let’s not be cruel. One should never save cake for later when it can be eaten now.”

I’m pretty sure Marissa Meyer was thinking “Now what would Cait like in this book…oh yes. CAKE. I’ll add it in just for her.” #legit

There are so many shippable moments right now, it’s basically like watching a fleet prepare to sail but yet not knowing if a shark is going to eat someone.

I PRONOUNCE THIS A VERY SATISFYING ENDING. I’m not bawling. I’m not in pieces. I’m not 100% happy and there are things that have made my soul crinkle in sadness (also a bit of frustration) but I love it anyway. Many of my predictions came true and just…GAH. It’s a fabulous conclusion!!

have you read Winter yet?!?! what did you think?! was it a solid conclusion or are you disappointed?! share aaaaall with me in the comments. also who is your favourite couple in the series?! (mine is Wolf + Scarlet)

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