Paper Fury

There comes a time when I just must acknowledge all the super weird random ways people find my blog.

Part of me is like “thank you to everyone who visits” but the rest of me was like “YOU FOUND ME HOW?????” after I’ve cruised the search term results for a bit. But look. Even though some are quite misguided, I feel a duty to try and answer all these questions regardless.

I used to answer a few search term results in my monthly recaps, but this year I tried to make the recaps shorter so whoomp. It got cut. But I miss it?! Where else am I supposed to put all my salt. So let me bring IT BACK with some very mocking sincere and pithy heartfelt answers. Unfortunately I don’t get as many cool ones as I used to. I guess internet searches are becoming more private?! Darn you, privacy, for stopping me laughing at ridiculous people.

You can see my answers to Part 1 here!

Also the tiniest update:

✧ I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging as much this month! This is NOT like me at all, but I went away and then got sick and then have been trying to read half a library in 3 weeks and then my life fell over like a badly stacked cracker house. So. I will do better in december.
✧ I haven’t actually started NaNoWriMo yet lol lol sob. I will be starting on Friday. I will die presently. How fun is this already
✧ I don’t even know what to blog right now, hence you’re getting a part 2. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Forgive me and love me anyway. I would give cake but I ate it all to live.

 

In case you don’t know what Search Term Results are — they’re just random things people google and they might hit your blog! You can find them in your blog’s settings and stats!

I find these 90% amusing and 10% depressing because the amount of “free pdf of such and such book” I get IS FURIOUSLY BAD. Go take your pirate selves somewhere else arghsgshofs.

does too much reading cost harm

Your bank account would say yes and then throw a shoe at you. I say think of it less as spending all your money and being broke and instead view it as having friends who can’t run away from you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

children’s books from the villain’s perspective

About 50% of me saw this and thought: “What do you want your little babies to be reading????” but then also 50% of me is immediately like: MY NEXT NOVEL IDEA. THANK YOU.

 

adrift by paul griffin ending / did they kill jojo in adrift

Oh this is hilarious. I’m getting SO many hits on my Adrift review. I’m guessing some school has it on their curriculum and these kids are supposed to be reading it but they’re googling?! Lmao. NO SPOILERS FROM ME. You’re on your own.

 

what kind of writers are there

✧ confused writers
✧ smol writers who can’t reach tall cupboards
✧ writers who (if interrupted) have bitten and will bite again
✧ writers who are just a stack of moths in a trench coat
✧ soft writers who do let nice things happen to their characters
✧ writers who have fallen over and can’t get up
✧ writers who plan novels and world domination in the same notebook
✧ writers who haven’t stopped screaming since 1785

 

monochrome bookstagram

yes you have come to the right place before, look at my monochrome, I think this is right

what book bloggers do

Mostly we type vigorously with one hand while eating small cakes with the other, until we are entirely made out of crumbs and passionate rants. We spend hours blogging! Networking! Taking photos of books! Chatting with other bloggers! Sometimes, we even have time to read a page of a book.

 

notebook sisters blog

AWWW THROW BACK!! Does anyone remember when I used to blog with my little sister Mime and we were “Notebook Sisters”!? We were adorable. We couldn’t blog. Every post was a gif nightmare. Aww!

 

i ate a cicada today

I am so happy for you??? Also how did this reach my blog (I hate bugs with every fibre of my soul). And lastly, is the bug fandom okay?

 

what is the iffect of reading to much

Sometimes you learnt to spell. Very dire effect. Tread with care.

 

how people get made overreading

Usually it starts when a modest stack of books are buried in the dark forest. The moon has to be just right, preferably during a blood moon or the cheese moon. Occasionally dig up this stack of books and add more. Eventually, when you go to dig up the stack, there will be a bookworm down there instead. Did they grow out of the books and dirt??? Did they burrow in from another land??? We don’t know. But this is how they’re made.

 

ladybug strengths and weaknesses

I mean??? I guess they’re pretty?? Their weakness is probably that they can’t sign up for a library card idk I have not really asked one. But seriously WHY THE BUG QUESTIONS I HATE BUGS. WHEN DID I EVER MENTION BUGS.

 

sucks to relax

Honestly? Big mood. how can one relax when there are 1,045 books to read per day and and twice as many books to write in a life time???? Also I feel like if I’m going to relax, someone should bring me and ice cream sandwich and nO ONE HAS.

 

6 of crows moral message

us trying to find Good Morals™ in a book lead by Kaz Stabby Thief Brekker

I’M JUST KIDDING! The morals are (1) waffles are better than boys, (2) if you are rude to Inej then Kaz will kill you, (3) keep your squad close because you love them! also because they might stab you idk! and lastly (4) if you haven’t made a pithy joke before you nearly die, is it even a good death??? Jesper would say no.

 

why do book covers change from the u.s. from other countries

See one time, the USA threw the Brit’s tea in the ocean and they are still angry about it. They won’t even let their book covers match so people know they are still upset.

(Also something about buying the cover image rights and this depends on the cost. Also marketing is different depending on the country and other things appeal. And then the UK just thinks the US is wrong. Etc etc etc. My first answer was better.

 

where are all the funny ya novels

Mine is HILARIOUS.

Right before I rip out your heart and use it as soup, but I have some utterly funny lines in A Thousand Perfect Notes. I am also super humble, but you knew that.

 

which is more popular acotar or tog

Bread actually. Toast specifically. There are very very few people who don’t crave toast. Even the people who can’t eat it (because they’re allergic or something) crave it mightily. Toast is more popular than ACOTAR or ToG. That is my final ruling.

 

should i reread or start a new series

Um, do BOTH?!?? You have two eyeballs don’t you?? That’s one for each book, why on earth are you whingeing.

 

fury is bad for you

Nick Fury and I think you’re rude.

 

what to say when recommending a book

“Read it! It’s my favourite! I’m sure you’ll love it! The axe I’m holding right now is in no way a threat! Go for it!”

 

i have decided to unfollow a few people

I’m so glad I get to share this moment with you tbh. I feel kinship because just today I decided to unfollow someone who was making me miserable. I think we should share tea and a quick biscuit and admire our life decisions.

 

tragic ya books

Lemme hit you with some recs. No really. Let me hit you with them. These little jerks are painful.

coconut boots

I have so so many questions as well…

 

i have a great story idea but i’m not excited about it

I’m laughing and also confused?!? It is probably not great.

 

paper fury review of zenith

If you found this, then it’d be news to you and me both because I haven’t read it lmao. (But seriously, the fact that people google specifically for my opinion is quite flattering?!)

 

im writing an essay and it sucks what do i do

Think to yourself: What would Chidi do? Then do it.

 

i am rather a book worm and fail to indulge in extra currixular activities..what should i do?

Same. Why would one go outside when there are books inside??? I don’t think there’s hope for us tbh. Although I’m now referring to my disinterest in other hobbies as “fail to indulge.” Thank you for this.

 

any writer who didn’t remember what he wrote?

Meeeee! Someone mentioned a scene in ATPN recently and I had to go look it up. I’d like to think this is because my brain has moved on to being filled with new story ideas, but in truth? I never remember anything. I swear I have bees for brains. Once I forgot how to spell my own name, so what more should I say here.

 

books similar to a thousand perfect nots

Try these! I recommend them highly.

Also in other news, I’m now referring to my book as A Thousand Perfect NOTS because that’s how I felt during revisions too.

 

i was here now ive gone

me @ parties and social gatherings

have you had any weird search term results lead to your blog?! please do tell me if there’s a children’s villain you want to read a book about? and hey writers! if you forget what you write, pls confess too so I’m not alone lmao

The world is full of magnificent wild creatures like emperor penguins, jaguars, and book bloggers.

Most people know how to approach emperor penguins (you dance I guess, I’ve seen Happy Feet) and jaguars (you put herbs in your hair and other seasonings and pre-prepare yourself because you’re about to get eaten, mate). But book bloggers??? People get SO CONFUSED about how to treat us. It’s not that hard. But yet you rarely come across a book blogger who doesn’t have a frustrated story of being treated badly. 

Therefore it’s time for a handy guide.

 

Before we go on though, a little FAQ about book bloggers in general:

✧ Do book bloggers bite? Yes.
✧ Can you poke them with a stick and survive? No they will bite the stick and then bite you.
✧ What happens if you put them in direct sunlight? This is actually ok. They will take book photos.
✧ Can I tap the glass? No. What’s wrong with you.
✧ What do they eat? You can throw small delicious cakes at them. No lettuce. If not vegan, they may eat the hearts of those who mock YA books.
✧ Do they have odd habits? They sometimes tunnel under piles of books and rest there indefinitely.
✧ Do they make good friends/companions/pets? Yes, they actually do, they are very intelligent and loyal and kind, and also: if you leave your pantry open they will eat all your cereal

1. WHEN YOU SEE ONE IN THE WILD, REMEMBER (A) THEY HAVE A NAME, AND (B) THEY ARE A PERSON.

This means that, no, we are not a faceless platform or company. We are a very smol person behind a phone or laptop, probably covered in toast crumbs, most likely typing frantically 2 seconds before we meant to post. And we have feelings. A lot of them. That is why we blog.

It’s also not hard to find a blogger’s name! Most of us will have an “About Page”. Or at the bottom of a post there will be a signature. Or check our social medias! It makes a 10000% difference to be talked to BY NAME. It means you actually care who you’re talking to.

FUN FACT: Someone’s it’s ok to get names wrong. For instance, I’ve received an email addressed to NICK FURY before and I’m ok with that.

UNFUN FACT: Just saying “Hello” (with no name following) if you’re randomly emailing a blogger is a HUGE red flag. It says you’ve never so much as looked at our blog. At all. When I get emails like this and I’m already saying “byyyyyyyeeeee”.

2. NEVER TELL A BLOGGER WHAT THEY “SHOULD” BE DOING.

Because the fact of the day is (a) we aren’t paid, (b) we do this FOR FUN which means we can do what we want, and (c) look if someone tells me to do something, my interest in doing it goes down by 87%.

3. SERIOUSLY THO…WE AREN’T PAID.

That means our time is absolutely golden and valuable and RARE. We squeeze blogging in amongst our dayjobs or school or other things we want to do in free time.

And no, getting free books isn’t payment. I mean (very roughly) you might spend 3-4 hours reading, then 1 hour writing a post, then 1 hour formatting the post and finding gifs and taking photos and making graphics and emailing publicists and promoting the post…dude, that was just 6 HOURS WORK FOR A BOOK MAYBE WORTH $15. If you get given a product (like a book) to advertise, then that’s what you’re doing! Advertising a free product! It’s not paid!

(Also this DOESN’T MEAN we are ever ungrateful to receive free books! I’m just simply talking about payment.)

UNFUN FACT: I have had publicists (freelance? IDK) inquire if I’d promote a book for them. I’ve had to say no because the book didn’t interest me or I’m too busy etc etc. And then they’ve gone on and asked me to round up other book bloggers to do the promotions. This makes me SO MAD. I am BUSY. That is YOUR JOB THAT YOU ARE LITERALLY HIRED FOR. Unless you want to pay me to suddenly be a publicist for a day?! DO NOT DO THIS.

4. WE DO THIS BECAUSE WE LOVE IT. WE SERIOUSLY DON’T OWE ANYONE ANYTHING.

This is freeing. Be freed by this, you little sprite. Any part of blogging you don’t like? DON’T DO IT. Any part you do like? DO IT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.

Personally? I don’t like blog tours (unless I really know/like the author already)! I also don’t like organising blog events because it stresses me out. And I LOVE tags and memes, no matter if others say they’re cliche!! So I just go ahead and live my life my way. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

FUN FACT: This means we don’t owe people reviews or promo posts if it doesn’t work for us. This is our platform that we built????? I do not see the part where I OWE it to random people to now use my hard-worked-for-platform to promote them unless I want to.

5. SUPPORT BLOGGERS!! AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!!

This is what we THRIVE on ok. All of us! Big or small, it means a lot to us to have our readers’ love and support. Here are some examples:

✧ interact with us by leaving a comment or tweeting!
✧ don’t be shy shhh seriously we love talking to you
✧ share their posts
✧ feed them pie
✧ comment on each other’s work (something I try to do! If you comment here –> I always try to visit you back!)
✧ don’t be scared to congratulate each other for milestones (a little “hey congrats on your blogversary!” is lovely for anyone!)
✧ you’re not annoying or “too small” to talk to

6. DON’T GET MAD AT THEM ABOUT GIVEAWAYS!

This peeves me SO MUCH when people roll out their: “OH BLOGGERS DON’T CARE ABOUT INTERNATIONAL READERS. THEY’RE SO SELFISH.”

Dude, we are so not rich!?

I would love to giveaway more books or send my friends an ARC I don’t want. I cannot freaking afford it. (I can only afford books because I freelance blog for a bookstore and get review-copies from publishers!!!) So no, I haven’t forgotten INT readers. I feel constantly guilty for not being inclusive…but bloggers are not being mean when they do this!! This is all out of pocket.

7. BE RESPECTFUL OF BLOGGERS’ SPACE.

This one I’m struggling with because I am an author now. And I feel like I should get the heck out of the blogger world in case I see negative reviews of my book or people feel stifled reading my work because I’M LURKING. I don’t mean to lurk!! But I love blogging! I am in the midst of a messy divorce with myself apparently!!

But seriously, censorship? Can we not. Authors shouldn’t tell bloggers what to think/say about their book.

Bloggers shouldn’t do this to EACH OTHER too. I have had people message me completely randomly to say: (1) I am trash for owning a book they didn’t like, (2) I should rearrange my opinion about a book because I’m wrong, (3) I am problematic for not having read a certain diverse book yet.

I wish I was jokinggggg but I’m not.

8. DON’T ASSUME YOU KNOW A BLOGGER!

We don’t HAVE to be super personal on our blogs. And I chaff at this because there’s a lot of identity and diversity policing that goes on. This genuinely happens to me:

Me: This book has problematic autism rep.
Other Blogger: Well you’re wrong!! mY COUSIN is autistic and I loved this book!!
Me: Well...I am autistic…and this is problematic rep. And having an autistic cousin doesn’t make you an expert on what autistics feel.
Other Blogger: [blocks me]

I’M SO TIRED SOMETIMES. I shouldn’t have to list my credentials to avoid getting attacked. ALSO this goes for all bloggers! We don’t need to state our finances. Or ages. Or how much time we do/don’t read. Don’t assume a blogger is/isn’t part of a minority. Don’t assume anyone has an easy or perfect life either!!

 

The overall thing to do when approaching a blogger in the wild?! RESPECT THEM.

So simple!! Yet so forgotten sometimes!!

If you want to work with bloggers, TREAT US LIKE PEOPLE. And don’t make friendships just to get something out of it. Make friends with bloggers because we’re awesome and passionate and have a fun hobby absolutely dedicated to sharing books. Which is pretty epic!!

ok tell me your blogger “horror stories”!? annoying emails you’ve been sent? trolls you’ve had to deal with?? do you get enough cake?? have you had people assume things about you? let us rant therapeutically.

 

PS. My blog is no longer sending out emails…wHIcH is a technically difficulty that is breaking my hEART. (Bloglovin’ subscriptions are still working though!) So if you happen to be subscribed through email, can you let me know if you are/are not getting emailed my posts like normal?? (I always post Saturday/Monday/Tuesday.)

When it comes to book blogging trends, I am…not fast.

You’re probably thinking this is because I like to be my own person or whatnot. But actually no. It’s because I’m distracted and oblivious and also if people say “HEY GO LEFT!” I go right. Not to be contrary. But because I can’t tell left from right.

But that aside, I actually truly enjoy so many trends that gallop through the blogging community! Some I dislike for sure. But I feel like “follow the crowd” gets a bad rap when…if you enjoy doing something (even if a million people do it too) then YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT. Likewise it’s ok to do your own thing and not be pressured!

Today I want to list 10 things that are popular in the book community and whether I love vs flee from them!

1. BOOKSTAGRAM ✓

Oh I love love LOVE bookstagram! (Although I frequently weep at the algorithm and how I have 5% engagement fsfshfosh.) But I love how we all gather together to gush over glitter and book covers and the aestheticness of gorgeous fonts. It’s so wholesome. Truly.

And I actually was taking book photos LONG before I knew about bookstagram! So I feel like I was right on the cusp of this trend when it started?! I just…had…no idea it was happening. TYPICAL.

2. BOOK BOXES ✓

Wow I am SUCH a fan. It took me a while though. At the beginning my brain was like: “Um that is very expensive for not knowing what you’re getting…” But then I applied to rep/work with some of the companies, got accepted, and go thoroughly converted. The signed books! The merch! The exclusive covers! IT’S ALL PRETTY COOL. (Although to be very very honest, I couldn’t afford this if I wasn’t working for them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

I am here for having a Harry Potter mug so if someone talks to me while I am in the midst of tea and writing? Evanesco, you fools.

3. BOOK CANDLES ✗

But why tho. WHY. All I can think of is how fire and books are very very bad together and also…I genuinely hate smells. I will actually sprint the Sahara instead of being forced to smell perfume. And I’m still not sure how burning a candle that represents the musk of some book boy isn’t SUPER CREEPY.

HERE, SON, LET ME BURN YOU. YOU SMELL SO GOOD.

I realise it’s like, sandalwood and fragile masculinity we’re smelling, not human flesh, but still.

4. COLLECTING MULTIPLE BOOK EDITIONS ✓ 

I just used to believe this was pointless. You can only read one book at a time, why have two copies of the same one, hmm?? Now I look back at my sweet innocent self and laugh and laugh and laaaaaugh.

It’s for the art of COLLECTING. And I freaking adore it. I have several multiple editions! Although I confess for many of them I actually haven’t bought them myself. I’ll get given one + get it cheap at a sale + get it in a book box, etc. etc. But otherwise it feels me with such joy to have some in multiples so WHY NOT. It supports my fav authors.

5. GIFS EVERYWHERE ✗

I actually used to be known for how much I gif’d. Now??? Don’t haaate me but I don’t love gifs. I find them super distracting from the text, so if I can’t scroll enough so that I DON’T have to see the gif flashing and can concentrate on the text??? Then I’m lost. I am an unripe pumpkin peel.

That saying: (1) yes I will use gifs on occasion!! and (2) I still read PLENTY of amazing blogs that love gifs!!

I just got old. SO OLD. (I love emojis though. I’m simultaneously 80 and secretly 12.)

6. JOINING IN BLOGGING MEMES ✓

Sometimes I think: “CAIT! This is your blog! Take control of it and use your imagination!” But those thoughts are frail and I would much rather meld with the carpet and not take control of my own fate. That’s for Merida, thanks. SO blogging memes? My lifesavers. Yes please tell me what to do for the week. Top Ten Tuesday is my favourite.

I love ones with open prompts so (a) you have an idea of what to blog about, and (b) you can still add your own creative flair around the edges!

I get how they CAN feel repetitive, if your feed is just 57 What Are You Reading type posts in a row…buuuuut. I still love them and it’s always easy to start a conversation with them!

 

7. DOING “INCORRECT QUOTES” ✓

I swear I was doing this before it became popular!! I WAS OK?! I AM THE TRENDSETTER. (shh let me live in my delusions.) I have been doing it on Goodreads for years! Actually to the point where I do it and people yell at me for “spoilers” and I’m like…my dear, my mate, my little frangipani: I’M BEING HORRIBLY SARCASTIC WITH THIS UPDATE IT IS NOT A SPOILER.

Anyway I highly love these. I follow Incorrect The Cruel Prince, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, and a couple of Marvel ones on twitter. You will also absolutely see me making memes of these for my own books. Shame? I have none.

I swear I DIE REGULARLY with laughter over these. (I don’t know who runs it but they’re hilarious.)

 

And here’s one of mine from Goodreads:

8. READING CHALLENGES / READATHONS ✗

The truth is I am just very bad at group activities. I WORK ALONE, ALFRED. (I also very much am Batman. Fight me if you don’t believe it, but I even have batman socks with little golden capes on them.) I also struggle to commit to challenges of “read this and this book!” because MOOD READER.

I do have a Goodreads goal, but I caaaan’t pledge to read certain amounts of certain types of books.

9. PASSIONATE RANTS ✗

This is NOT a call out against rants! Because I enjoy reading a lot of them. But writing them myself??? Here is basically what transpires in my brain:

• Oh I have opinions about this topic!
• I should write a post!
• Wait am I sure about my opinions??
• no i could be wrong
• actually everyone will hate me
• what if I’m misinformed??????
• if i get into an internet fight I WILL JUST CRY
• everyone else has ranted on this topic before me anyway
• i have nothing new to say
• i am a piece of bread

And therefore I never get around to writing rant posts. It’s very pathetic. Look at me, so smol and sad.

10. ARCS ✗✓

I’ll finish up by cheating, because…BOTH! I have such mixed feelings about ARCs I’ve basically turned myself into a baking pre-mix and, just add water and anxiety = and you get a PAPER FURY!!

Good Parts Of ARCs: You get free books (and I can’t afford many soooo this is crucial to my existence) + you get to read highly anticipated books early sometimes!! + I feel like there’s more chance to read things you might not have tried?! Ergo NEW FAVOURITES!

Bad Parts Of ARCs: pressure reading is…pReSSureFUL ugh + getting sent unsolicited ones is overwhelming + that anxiety of disliking a book you HAVE to review + often everyone’s reviewing the same ARCs + the who-gets-them is REALLY unfair and sometimes is so so frustrating you just feel 1000% done with it altogether + they’re ugly.

Lmao to the last one. I’M SORRY. But with my love of bookstagram —> my interest in ARCs has decreased because they’re just ugly, ok. I also have SUCH rotten luck with Netgalley and Edelweiss, it’s just depressing.

I would probably quit ARCs altogether if I were rich. Then, obviously, I would soon NOT be rich because I would have bought a lot of books. Regrets? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I see none.

hey so chat with me!

what are trends you like vs ones you avoid in the blogging world?!? do we agree on any?? do you join in reading challenges? or how do you feel about ARCs?

 

PS. My blog’s email subscriptions appears to have FAILED on me. So if you happen to usually get emails from my blog but haven’t lately…can you let me know?! I’m trying to fix it. I hate wordpress gah. (If you follow via bloglovin‘, it should be fine though!)

I’d like to think we book bloggers are mostly chill creatures, just here to enjoy books and with our pockets full of cake crumbs and magic.

And yet. Haha…oh wow, we can definitely get annoyed. The little dragon part of our souls will unfurl its wings and roast some humans and potatoes alike if anyone insists on being downright annoying. And hey it happens! We bloggers put up with a lot! And we work hard over here, OK?! Don’t be mean, or we’ll tell on you.

So just in case you either (a) want to nod vigorously in companionable agreement over the annoyances we put up with, or (b) you secretly want to know just how to annoy a book blogger yourself because you are eVIL (how dare you) — I am writing a post on:

10 really annoying things that happen to book bloggers

Bless us for surviving this, seriously. Between authors murdering our feels and internet-humans sneezing on us, it’s A WONDER WE’RE ACTUALLY SOMETIMES A LITTLE HIGHLY STRUNG INSTEAD OF CHILL.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE…

 

1. WHEN PEOPLE STEAL YOUR HARD BLOGGING WORK.

And pfft to anyone who says “Well it’s the highest form of flattery!” If I made a sandwich and you waltzed up here and ate it, then no. I would not be flattered. I would eat you as revenge because that was my sandwich, you limp lettuce leaf. I made it. I wanted to eat it. You didn’t even ASK. It’s the same as stealing art — except art is a little less edible unless it’s paint and you can eat it if you want to see another dimension.

I’ve had blog posts, pinterest boards, tweets, and photos stolen. I’ve practically got one foot in the grave, one in a seafaring ship, and once I find my tricorn hat and my kraken under my piles of books, REVENGE HERE I COME. *

 

* Just kidding. Well, not about wanting to wear a tricorn hat. But I am not very much into revenge unless it is the petty kind like I eat your favourite cake in front of you but don’t share.

2. WHEN SOMEONE APPEARS OUT OF THE GLOOM TO EXCLUSIVELY HATE ON YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK.

 

I like discussions! I like seeing other perspectives, you know that whole “walk in someone else’s shoes”?? That’s a fantastic saying! I love your shoes! I will take them and run away and you will nary ever catch me! Ha ha ha!

Excuse me.

But I just can’t when I say “I LOVE THIS” and someone appears to say “WELL YOU’RE SO DUMB THIS IS ALL THE REASONS IT SUCKS.” What does this even achieve except me wanting to sprinkle staples in your hair??? It’s negative and unnecessary. If I’m really raving about a book you hate — DON’T READ MY POST. Stunning idea.

3. WHEN SOMEONE JUST POINTS OUT TYPOS AND NOTHING ELSE.

Okayyy negative Nancy, I’m sure spelling ITS instead of IT’S is going to ruin the whole post. It doesn’t actually! It’s good to spell correctly, but you literally don’t need to stampede out of the snow to juuuuust point out problems. Look I’ll break it down for us so we can differentiate which typos are bad and which are not that big of a deal:

TYPOS THAT WON’T KILL YOU

• it’s vs its
• their vs they’re
• the vs teh
• cait vs cake (it’s the same thing anyway)

TYPOS THAT WILL KILL US ALL PLEASE FIX THEM

• i ate evil = I hate evil (this is important to be clear about ok)
• Legolas vs Legacy
• TBR (to be read) vs TBC (terrifying bear close)
• I’m not buying A Thousand Perfect Notes = I am definitely absolutely totally buying 42 copies of A Thousand Perfect Notes
• “I want to eat cake” vs “I want to eat Cait” (just so I have warning)

 

4. WHEN SOMEONE SAYS “OH LOL YES BLOGGING WOULD BE SO EASY.”

SO IS RAISING MY OWN PTERODACTYL SON IN THE BATHUB OBVIOUSLY.

I’m joking. That was me being facetious. Because raising my pterodactyl son in the bathtub is hard and blogging is hard and there is not enough cake for how hard my life is, clearly.

Bloggers work hard! We promote and champion books because we enjoy it, yes, but it doesn’t stop it from actually basically being an unpaid job! We spend HOURS coming up with content and organising things and most of us will spend some money on our blogs at some point. And we squeeze 5 hours of blogging into 15 mins before bed so like, we’re also time-turning wizards too. Take that.

 

5. WHEN YOU GET OVERLOOKED FOR COOL OPPORTUNITIES FOR NO GOOD REASON??

Or because you’re that terrible terrible thing…ready for it? (TAKE A BREATH).

NOT IN THE USA.

Gasp. How dare you, peasant.

But honestly, it never ceases to boggle me how wildly unpredictable opportunities in the blogging realms are! Like why do I get rejected for 90% of my requests on Edelweiss and Netgalley!? (Despite having a good ratio!) Why do bloggers who WANT the ARCs miss them in favour of bloggers who probably won’t even read that ARC?!? Some bloggers get the Famous interviews. Some don’t. Some get all the follows and pageviews. Some don’t. None of it makes sense??? And then the sun will go and NOT SHINE WHILE I’M TRYING TO TAKE BOOKSTAGRAM PHOTOS and sheesh I’m done here. I’m crying in my batcave, I’ll get back to you.

6. WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DECLARE YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION.

I tend to think if it’s rude to ask it TO MY FACE, don’t ask it online either! Although apparently it’s a bizarre concept!?? It really bothers me when people assume things about others’ finances online. YOU JUST CAN’T KNOW. Online lives are notorious for just displaying the “pretty” side, but only a peahen would assume that it’s the full story. Come onnn.

I particularly hate it when people tell me how rich I am (like, I wish but yet?!?) or ask me to tell them how much I earn for a living and I just??? When about is it your business.

 

7. WHEN WE DO NOT GET OFFERED ENOUGH CAKE.

There’s literally nothing more to clarify about this. It’s a travesty and skies are falling because of it. Someone ought to bake more. Be ashamed, world, for failing us like this.

8. WHEN OUR REVIEW REQUEST CRITERIA GETS IGNORED.

Just…just read it. Starting off an email with, “Look I know you said you don’t take review requests…BUUUUT!” doesn’t help your case! It just makes me realise you already don’t respect my words!

FUN (NOT) EMAIL EXPERIENCES I’VE HAD

• getting emailed with “hi!” but no name because that was too hard to find
• or better yet, “Dear Paper Fury”…
• it’s not mY naME actually
• (although I would reply if someone called me Nick Fury, let’s be real)
• Being asked to BUY the book to review it.
• Being requested for sequels…how does that even make sense?!
• Emailed about adult books when if you spend 2 seconds on my blog you’ll know I’m a YA blogger
• Being followed up 4+ times…mate, please take a lowkey no from someone who hates confrontation
• being told “Now I know you love [insert book title] which is similar to mine” WHEN I’VE NEVER READ THE BOOK THEY MENTIONED THAT I SUPPOSEDLY LOVE??
• When you end up on mailing lists you NEVER SIGNED UP FOR???????????

9. WHEN OTHER BLOGGERS INVALIDATE OTHERS’ NEEDS.

Just because you don’t care if a series doesn’t match, or if spines aren’t the same height, or if your bookshelf is organised a certain way — dooooesn’t mean IT CAN’T BE VERY IMPORTANT TO OTHERS. This is like the second rule you should’ve learned in preschool. *

Just let people live! Unless they are already part of the undead! Then let people die for goodness sakes!

 

* The first being, if someone steals your cookies, you level all your 5-year-old anger into declaring a dire and despicable ice war which will last 100 years as they become your arch-nemises. This is how Sherlock and Moriarty did it anyway I guess.

 

10. WHEN SOMEONE SNARKS THAT BLOGGERS MUST HAVE SUPER PURE™ REASONS FOR BLOGGING.

You know why you should blog? BECAUSE YOU WANT TO. And also (keep calm now this may come as a shock) because it might help you to achieve something you want! Now, much like cleaning the house if you have a toddler, this is a bit of a controversial thing I’m suggesting. But I think it’s perfectly valid to blog for MANY reasons and they don’t have to be selfless! (Also I’m a Slytherin, yes. Hello.)

REASONS YOU CAN START A BLOG

• Because you’d like to receive free books to review! YES! This is a valid reason to blog! I know people say “don’t blog just for free books” and while, yes, you should blog because you enjoy it…but why not also get books?! I love getting books from publishers! I love working with them! And for someone with a smol-book-buying-budget, I need this.
• Because you’re launching a platform for your business! Maybe it’s graphic design, or your publishing a book, or starting a candle-making business or running a book box or an etsy store?! It’s perfectly OK to launch that off your blog. None of this “eh they’re only here to make money”…IT’S A VALID WAY TO MAKE MONEY IF YOU CAN MAKE IT WORK.
• Because you want to rule the world. Oh oh…um, sorry wait typo. This is only my reason and you can’t borrow it.
• Because you just want to fangirl over books and make friends! Also a valid reason! You do not have to be writing massive discussion topics or championing a cause or anything! You can simply blog because it’s fun. Zero pressure, you fun octopi.

what are some things that really annoy YOU as a book blogger?!? do you think there are good vs bad reasons to start a blog? do you get enough cake??? (im asking in concern here)

Book blogging is absolutely a collision of spilt sprinkles, late nights, delirious rants, and typos.

And also books. Haha, small detail there! Easy to forget.

No one’s going to deny that book blogging is hard work. And sometimes we have love/hate relationships with our little corners of the internet. And for me? After 6 years of blogging, I’ve had a ton of things I’ve screamed into the void about (including me @ plagiarising my oWN POSTS) but after the void rudely screamed back at me (how dare tho) I started thinking up all the really epic things about book blogging.

Why do we blog?! What about blogging is so enticing?? Obviously cake doesn’t pop out of my computer screen (I’m confused too ok) so what keeps us bloggers gnawing away at gifs and html and trying to format a post before it starts crying?

Because book blogging is full of EXCITING THINGS and here am I shouting about them!

Or, well, shouting politely because I was not raised in cave. I was raised amongst the forests and faerie mushroom circles with the changeling children and this is why you all still read my blog after all this time because mAGIC MIND CONTROL.

Anyway.

1. WHEN SOMEONE APPRECIATES AND SHARES THEIR WORK WITH PROPER CREDIT AND CALLS YOU QUEEN OF ALL.

Not gonna lie: if someone just happens to shower confetti in my direction while saying I am so great…well. That’s just nice. Continue!! Don’t let anyone stop you!

In all seriousness though…actually seeing your work appreciated is FRIKKIN’ AWESOME. I think it’s common for we book bloggers to feel a bit underfed. We’re not “allowed” to want money (despite other types of bloggers, like beauty and cookery bloggers, turning theirs into careers and that’s allowed) for our work and we do a LOT of unpaid work for authors / publishers. Because we do love it!! But sometimes we feel like a fork in a drawer and we just??? We just want to bE A FANTASTIC CUP OF ORANGE JUICE SOMETIMES TOO. *

The flipside of this, obviously, is having your work stolen or shared without permission. Then we burn cities and skies fall.

However:

Sharing —> crediting —> telling bloggers you love what they do —> giving them a private island —> turning them into a magical demigod —> saying “I like your stuff, mate” —> all is really exciting!

It makes it worth it x 100.

 

* No I don’t know where this metaphor is going either. Try not to think too much.

2. BEING GIVEN BOOKS AND / OR DRAGON EGGS TO RAISE AS OUR OWN.

Unfortunately not many publishers send me packets of dragon eggs??? But it’s still early in the year. However I do get books! I am so grateful and lucky to be on publisher mailing lists here in Australia and to get soooo many books. Because I honestly can’t afford to keep up with my appetite.

No one can look at me and say, “Getting packages of book mail is not exciting.”

It is always super exciting!!! Even if I know what’s inside!! It’s just like: look it’s Christmas and you get to open this and a whole magical world will fall out!!

I love mail. I love raising books to be my strong and independent young children.

My family doesn’t like my mail so much, however. These days they collect the mail and say in a dead voice, “Oh look Cait another book for you…[distant grumbling] I never get anything…”

3. GETTING TO TALK TO AUTHORS, OR INTERVIEW THEM, OR HAVE THEM VISIT YOUR BLOG.

I feel a bit starry-eyed when I get to talk to an author. I mean!! A real live author!! And when it’s your favourite author or a super famous one…it just makes me feel special and important.

Also by the by, I’m a total fangirl and prone to spontaneous combustion so talking to authors is also super terrifying. I love them but awKWArd tURtle here.

GENERAL INTERACTION BETWEEN ME + AN AUTHOR:

Me: I wish authors would talk to me…
Author: hi
Me:
Me:
Me: omg i have to go now

4. WHEN YOUR STATS LOOK NICE.

Usually for no reason you can divine, even though you’ve done everything to figure it out?? 9 hours analysing stats. 16 hours experimenting with failed repeats. A day talking to the clouds and asking why your stats are good one day and horrid the next. But whatever, right?! When stats are good, WE GET EXCITED.

And maaaaybe you don’t care about stats, but I’m not ashamed to admit I do. Let me be the excite! My ego and I appreciate the numerical display of our worth. *

 

* HAHAH I’M JOKING. Your stats are not your worth. Your worth is only, and I mean ONLY, tied up with how often perch atop a mountain and yodel.

5. WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT SOMETHING BLOGGISH THAT WAS CONFOUNDING YOU.

This could be like figuring out how to do a bit of coding! Or just getting your photos lined up! Or making some epic graphics when all your other attempts failed! Or just having a really really nice design that makes you go all starry-eyed!

POWER IN THE CONQUERING. NONE STANDS AGAINST YOU AFTER YOU JUST GOT A WIDGET TO WORK.

6. IT’S BASICALLY JUST EXCITING NOT TO FANGIRL ALONE.

I am a person who enjoys my own company due to being an introvert and a little narcissistic. * But it’s actually 100 x better to be able to shout with someone who loves the same book you do. And if they don’t, you can follow them around and keep shouting until they do.

This never works but I still try it because #persistent. I may also be murdered and stuffed in a barrel at some point! But not until you all read The Raven Boys!!

 

* JUST KIDDING. I’M NORMAL, MUM.

7. IT’S EXCITING TO BE HEARD TOO.

Look it’s easy to feel UNHEARD still in the blogosphere. There’s a lot of voices. If you have more followers, obviously you get more traction with your shouts. But at the end of the day, someone is listening if you’re blogging. And that’s pretty cool. Instead of hoarding my opinion on best types of bookish friendships, tropes I hate, and whether Snape was evil * or not — I can share them with you!

It makes me feel better anyway.

And sometimes if, by some weird reason, you have important things to say about important matters…it’s exciting to be heard for them too. I have no idea what that’s like though hahaha. Remember the time I blogged about putting dragons in The Fault In Our Stars?? Ya. I’m quality.

 

* HE WAS DISGUSTINGLY EVIL BY THE WAY.

8. THINGS ARE PRETTY AND WHOSE EYEBALLS DON’T WANT THAT?!

With the rise of #bookstagram, the blogosphere has really flooded with gorgeously aesthetic photos of books.  People put a lot of work into this!! It’s amazing! My eyeballs feast every day on bookish photo art and I just get excited about my TBR which is, coincidentally threatening to kill me, but who cares if it’s pretty right?!

Nothing makes me quite as excited over a book as a gorgeous photo of it!

I think I just admitted I was shallow…? Don’t tell.

9. THE BOOK POSSIBILITIES SUDDENLY BECOME ENDLESS.

Do you ever walk into a bookstore or a library and just get that overwhelmed flooding feeling of HAPPINESS in your chest because so many books?!? HEART EYES. I swear, nothing makes me more excited than rows and lists of books.

10. YOU CAN RAISE AN ARMY AND THAT’S FUN.

Bonus part about this is all the things you can do with your army once you have them! For example:

• I’ve told everyone that in Australia we get our WiFi fuelled by the blood of the gumtrees and this is now a known fact across the earth.
• Ask any other Aussie you know.
• If you write a book = your army wants to read it to see what damage you can do in 300pgs. (SPOILER: Lots! Aren’t you excited about mine!!)
• You can slowly infiltrate their minds until they associate you with something. Like who doesn’t think Cait and Cake are entwined, hmm? I have done this. I have achieved mind control.
• You can make friends with these people??? I guess??? Weird tho.
• It’s fun to meet people who agree with you and helps your delicate sense. Especially if you, unlucky soul, have too many siblings who disagree with you for no reason. (No joke: my sister won’t eat apples because I told her to. This is what I live with.) Get yourself an agreeable army instead.
• You get to know people from all over the world! And complain about time zone differences together!
• You can band together and conquer Mars or eat the sun or something. IDK what you do with an army. But I want one so here we are.

tell me what makes YOU most excited about book blogging?! (or any type of blogging!) and what book will you keep talking about until everyone has read it??

It’s time for a friendly Q&A with someone you really really admire!!

Um, stop looking around confused…it’s me. I’m talking about me.

Oh hush. You love it when I answer questions…well at least I love it and that’s what’s important here. But anyway! I’ve been tagged for The Sunshine Blogger Award by Jen who is so lovely!

And despite having a darkly stabby aura with the books I read and write I totally still qualify as a sunshiney creature! For instance, I frequently wear yellow shirts! * And I adore shiny things, I’m literally a dragon/magpie/hybrid with how much I love shiny things.

So I’m practically a flaming fireball of sun flare in the sky.

I’m going to answer 15 random burning questions you never wanted to ask me! But you get to anyway! Fun!

Oh oh wait, just before we DO launch into this…I’m still travelling home from my holiday at my sister’s house to see her new smol son. Hence my blogging has been really slack this February and I’m mostly just screaming internally lately. But I’ll be home soon?!

 

* I said to my sister “LOOK AT ME BEING A HUFFLEPUFF IN YELLOW!” and she said I was a snake in Badger’s clothing so wow. Isn’t that nice. In unrelated news my sister is for sale.

1. OTHER THAN READING (AND BLOGGING) WHAT IS YOUR PASSION IN LIFE?

I mean, obviously I have interests away from books haha. Obviously! I like um…well see I’m passionate about…

OKAY FINE. LITERALLY EVERYTHING COMES BACK TO BOOKS. My truest passion in life is writing. But that’s books. And I also like running/exercise (wow way to smash the turtle bookworm stereotypes) but I also think about books while I run so???

Leave me here in my obsession.

2. IF YOU COULD GIVE SOMEONE A PIECE OF ADVICE BASED ON YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Let me hit you with some blogging themed advice! I mean, I’ll hit you softly though because I’m nice and sunshiney dangit.

• Write the blog you want to read. I’m serious! Kick the expectations of what you think “a true book blogger should be like” and just blog the things YOU enjoy reading. It’ll make the world of difference and stop you from eating the sun in frustration. 10/10 recommend.
• Totally ignore people who insult your blog. There is literally NO reason to read someone’s blog if you don’t like it, so they are always just trolls. Beat them back with your witch’s broom.
• Make your blog look pretty. It’s part of the quality of your content!
• Please please have a navigable home page. If I enter your blog and can’t find your most recent post on 0.2 seconds? WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
• Talk to people! This is fully just how I grew my audience: interesting content + I talk to everyone who talks to me! It’s okay if you can’t visit-back-blogs, but that will affect how your blog grows. I’m so much for making blogging a friendly discussion and there’s not much point if we’re not connecting on each other’s blogs right?! (That saying I am behind hahah but I will catch up when I have consistent internet at home!)
• Is it worth it for writers to be bloggers?! YES. Infiltrate your audience. Get a behind-the-scenes view on what readers want. Make them all love you. When your book comes out, they will desperately buy it to see what havoc you can wreak in 300+ pages. Slowly fill their houses with your books. INFILTRATE. TAKE OVER. CONQUER. Haha…not that I would do any of these…

3. IF YOU COULD MEET ANY FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN REAL LIFE WHO WOULD IT BE?

I really want to say “MY CHARACTERS!” but there is a 500% chance they’d kill me after all I put them through.

So can I just pick Sean Kendrick and Puck O’Connolley from The Scorpio Races. I seriously could handle living on Thisby and playing with the murder horses and eating November cakes and probably falling off a cliff because I’m disorganised like that. But windy dusky cold Irish aesthetic — TAKE ME.

4. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO EAT AND YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL?

I honestly choose home! I find eating out very stressful thanks to social anxiety coupled with I hate surprise and unknown meals and have a lot of allergy restrictions. So like, just leave me in my Hobbit hole thanks. (Although I do so love chips so there’s that.)

I’M ALSO FOND OF CAKE. Surprise.

5. MARMITE: LOVE IT OR HATE IT?

I haven’t had it in like..??? WOW MAYBE 10 YEARS?!? Technically it has gluten in it which I’m not supposed to have, haha, but back IN THE DAY I did love it! It’s actually sweeter than Vegemite and I prefer it to Vegemite and–

Okay wow, I just lost my rights to be Australian I guess.

(I still do like Vegemite though?! If I could eat it…)

6. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO VISIT?

• THISBY from The Scorpio Races as we’ve covered
• Also heck yes leave me in HENRIETTA too just for the Raven Boys because goodness knows America doesn’t appeal
• Also RED LONDON with Kell because yes.
• And I kind of want to visit the fey world from The Cruel Prince even though I MIGHT DIE but I also want to have a sword and shout at belligerent faerie boys with Jude so.
• LAZLO STRANGE’S LIBRARY. What else is there to say.

7. WHAT REAL PLACE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT?

• London! The real one instead of the Red one because I’m actually being published there so like?! I feel visiting would be nice.
• Paris! I’ve always been obsessed with Paris for no logical reason. Croissants maybe?
• So basically…Europe. Except I hate travelling so who is even writing the answer to this question.

8. DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE QUOTE?

Is it just me or is remembering favourite quotes REALLY HARD?! I’m going to be cliche and pick the one from The Deathly Hallows:

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

Because it meant SO MUCH to me when I read it…maybe it’s not intended to be about mental illness or just your own imagination — but it was for me. If it’s happening to you, then it’s real. No matter how other people might try to invalidate you.

Ugh emotions.

9. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE TV SERIES OF ALL TIME?

• Stranger Things! It’s SO GOOD. And stressful wow.
• The Good Place! It’s so DUMB but yet I love it.
• Psych. Seriously this show is amazing and also dumb but great.
• Leverage. Clever heists!
• Supernatural…it used to be the top of the list but hello they RUINED it. I haven’t even finished S12 (and I haven’t gathered the willpower to see Wayward Sisters because I hate Claire, haha…oops.)
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine! omg it’s so dumb and funny…also I’m seeing a pattern in the shows I watch.

10. WHAT BOOK WOULD YOU RECOMMEND TO EVERYONE AND WHY?

I don’t believe one book fits all. I just can’t. Humans are so different and their needs are different and it’s like assuming everyone needs cake to survive?!? They clearly don’t. Some people can live on pancakes instead and I respect that.

So instead I’m going to list some TYPES of books I think everyone should read.

• #OwnVoices stories: Peoples…just do it. You can find some in any genre you like, just FIND SOME. Read it. Understand what it’s like from the perspective of someone who’s lived it.
• Specific diverse stories: Like this goes with above, but also non-ownvoices authors still write amazing and unmissable tomes you should devour! But you should be reading books that change your world-view. And shake up your perspective. And make you THINK. Read about disabilities and OCD and autism and asexuality. Read about PTSD and being biracial and #BlackLivesMatter and f/f or m/m relationships or nonbinary protagonists or about immirgants. If you don’t understand a type of people: read stories about them. LIKE I JUST CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH. GO WALK IN THEIR SHOES.
• Something out of your comfortable genre. Hey this is important too! As much as I’m all for reading whatever you want, occasionally read a memoir okay? Or read a poetry book. Or read sci-fi or contemporary YA or whatever it is you don’t often read. Sometimes you get surprised by a delicious gem.

11. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

• THAT I WON’T BE ABLE TO READ ALL THE BOOKS IN THE WORLD BEFORE I DIE.
• That I won’t write another good book. (THIS ONE IS LEGIT…it always comes after I finish writing something. I know it’s ridiculously untrue, but I think most writers get scared with this one.)
• That someone will read my blog archives ah ahhahaa. * Oh help.

* Don’t you dare. Get your beady eyeballs back here.

12. WHICH OPTION WOULD YOU PICK BETWEEN: HAVING A GOOD STABLE JOB WITH GOOD PAY OR DOING SOMETHING YOU LOVE FOR VERY LITTLE MONEY?

I already do something I love for very little money so let’s go with that, shall we?!

13. WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR BIGGEST STRUGGLE WTIH YOUR BLOG?

This year it’s been…the actual…blogging part. Look I know the year is young! But it’s terrifying that I’ve either had no idea what to post OR had no time?! Like what is this, you fiendish brain. Blogging has been a life staple of mine for 6+ years — I am a mere refried bean with out it.

Anyway, I will fix this come March.

14. WHAT QUALITIES DO YOU ADMIRE MOST IN PEOPLE AND WHY?

• People who actually buy a book and then IMMEDIATELY read it. I think that’s called black magic though.
• Writers who are really confident like wow.
• People who are driven and achieve things and don’t blame other people for their mistakes.
• People who value treating others NICELY.
• Anyone who has the perfect gif for the perfect moment.
• I admire, most of all, that quality some people posses in preordering my book. Like wow, those are the people who will change the world.

15. WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS FOR 2018?

I’m sorry about all the lists within lists today (BUT AM I REALLY SORRY?!) but here have one last one:

• I want to write a novel I’m REALLY proud of and I haven’t achieved that since September last year so RIP my confidence but I’m going to do it?!?
• I want to still manage to read 200 books even though it’s been haaaard this year. (First time ever I was actually behind on my Goodreads goal for a while. WHO AM I.)
• I want to NOT freak out when A Thousand Perfect Notes comes out in June. Hah hah hahahaah.

Wow I really have no goals for this year which seems un-Slytherin of me?! I guess write 400 million books and become famous for them is taking up all my thinking space. Ah.

okay tell me like a stereotypical famous food for your country/town and if you like it or not?!? and do you have any interests that don’t relate to books?? (also has blogging been hard this year or just me??)

Now that 2018 is well and truly upon us, I think there are some habits we should bury.

I brought a nice shovel!!

Hopefully by this point you have said 2018 at least once instead of 2017. Or! Like me you’ve skipped forward to typing 3018 which is exciting but there are not enough spaceships around. Anyway. A big part of a new year rolling in is everyone pretending to give up sugar for 3 hours and valiantly stating the phrase “New year, new me!” (I’m only a fan of that phrase if it means you’re turning into a dragon.)

But! As a bookworm, book blogger, and book screamer, * I think there are definitely some things we could all leave behind in 2017. Ditch ’em like that body you’ve been keeping in your freezer. TIME TO BURY THE BAD!

This also 100% works because I have seen the 1995 version of Jumunji and if you bury the evil boardgame nothing goes wrong afterwards. **

 

* My new word for when a bookworm looks at their TBR and briefly contemplates their mortality.
** LMAO BUT WE CAN TRY.

Today I’m going to list 10 things I think we bookworms and book bloggers should stop doing this year!

I have a shovel! It is a good shovel and I have never buried anything unsavoury with it before! This seems honest!

1. FEELING GUILTY FOR HOW MUCH OR HOW LITTLE WE READ.

I see people saying “Oh I’m not a real bookworm, I barely read 20 books a year.” And I’m like????? I’m sorry, did we have to apply to become a bookworm? Fill out a list of criteria? Submit moon rocks we gathered at the equinox? Bake the correct kind of cake?

WHAT THE HECK, MATE, A BOOKWORM IS SOMEONE WHO LIKES BOOKS. The end. There isn’t a number you have to reach to be a “true” bookworm.

And this goes both ways because people are always hassling me about how much I read. Did I really read it? Did I even comprehend it? HUH, HUH, CAIT? I’ve been told I read 200 books a year for the attention and to be a “wannabe”. The later is only true if it means I “wannabe a bookshelf”. Because yes.

So read 2 books a year. Read 20. Read 200. Listen up!

No guilt or shame from now on!

2. CRITIQUING #OWNVOICES AUTHORS PORTRAYAL OF THEIR OWN CULTURE.

This happens on twitter a lot and it’s so bizarre. Why don’t we just walk up to a chef who literally sets a bowl of food they’ve cooked before you and say, “BUT DO YOU REALLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT COOKING??”

Yes the food metaphors are strong today. They rise like glorious bread dough and I cannot stop them.

One you might have seen is about Sandhya Menon, author of When Dimple Met Rishi and the upcoming From Twinkle With Love…and little internet trolls appear to tell this #ownvoices Indian author that her character names aren’t Indian but silly and made up. Wow. What if these people just s t o p. *

No more critiquing cultures you’re not part of to someone who is part of them!

 

* Interesting that these people don’t stomp on Four from Divergent + Mare from Red Queen + Blue from The Raven Cycle + Finch from All The Bright Places.

3. ACTING LIKE AUTHORS WHO WANT TO GET PAID ARE TERRIBLE BUCKETS.

Look the only terrible bucket are those horrible castle shaped ones that fool you into think you can make a true sandcastle at the beach but they never NEVER come out of the bucket right!! 99% of my childhood distrust springs from this.

Also authoring is a business. It is a career. It is VERY hard to support yourself with it so heckin’ GO (!!!) to the authors who can or try.

Enough thinking art isn’t worth time or money. It IS and you, smol artist, are also worth it.

4. NO MORE TELLING ANYONE TO “REREAD A BOOK YOU HATED SO YOU GET THE RIGHT OPINION.”

This one basically makes me laugh. If I hated a book, why the heck would I reread it?! What is that going to achieve?! If I had a dollar for every time someone on Goodreads told me this, I could afford to buy half of the Dead Sea.

I’m not sure what I would do with it. Probably just canoe in a very dark cape because DEAD SEA.

 

5. NO MORE ASSUMING THAT ONE MINORITY EXPERIENCE IS EVERYONE IN THAT MINORITIES EXPERIENCE. 

I did have to pull myself up about this one too! I have social anxiety, as you might know, and sometimes I read books with HORRIBLE social anxiety rep. Other times…the rep is just not right for me. Doesn’t make it bad! Or wrong! In fact, other people with social anxiety might really really feel connected to that book.

So take a breath. Take a minute. Analyse if it’s problematic or just not relatable to you!

This goes for any minority experience, okay. Let’s eat an ice cube * before assuming that everyone with autism or an amputee or who has bipolar or who’s on the lgbtqia+ spectrum or who’s black will have the SAME life experience. Because no.

 

* This is me trying to say “CHILL OUT” creatively because for some reason I’m thinking about Antartica a lot today and I want to make an igloo and name a penguin Paul.

6. NO MORE JUDGING ADULTS FOR READING YA.

This comes so up so much!! I talk about it so much!! I’m very passionate about it because I see adults being told they don’t belong in a YA book community because it’s for teens. Actually YA is for readers. Its first priority is teens, for sure!! Teen voices are important. Teen voices should be heard. But YA is for DRAGON SPAWN.

Um, wait.

I mean: YA is for anyone who wants to read it.

Can we stop all this censorship!??

7. NO JUDGING PEOPLE WHO BUY TONS OF BOOKS.

Yes it’s a lucky privilege to be able to afford books, but instead of assuming someone is rich or selfish can we consider:

• it’s actually none of your business if someone else is buying lots of books (!!)
• so you can’t afford it (THAT’S OKAY!!) but look! these people are buying the books and showing the publishers they want more like that! There is literally no downside to someone else buy tons of books!! they buy books = publishers pick up more authors.
• lots of people budget their money differently. I, for one, have been wearing the same jacket for 11 years.
• (It’s a nice jacket okay. Lots of colours. Also I don’t grow.)
• you went out for dinner = that person bought a book
• see?!
• try to adjust perspectives if seeing someone with a big library makes you angry

8. TIME TO BURY THOSE SKELETONS IN YOUR WARDROBE AS WELL!

I mean, only if you’re cleaning the closet. It’s 2018! New year! New clean wardrobe! Brush out those bones and get ’em buried in the back yard, probably at night by the light of the blood moon and wear good shoes and don’t wreck the rhododendron bush. *

Wow you come to Paper Fury for such good life advice. Self five.

 

* I just want to put it out there that the same person who wrote the word “rhododendron” also probably wrote fantasy and keyboard smashed all their names. And yes I realise it’s like an ancient Greek word but DON’T SPOIL MY BACKSTORY HERE.

9. NO MORE AUTHORS GETTING INVOLVED IN BOOK BLOGGER’S REVIEWS.

As someone who is LITERALLY watching their ARCs make it into the wild (holy heck hold me I’m freaking out), I totally get why this happens. I also wish it wouldn’t! And there are a lot of bloggers out there who still think authors should “learn from their critiques in their reviews”…ah ahhaah haha no. Do not think that way.

Reviews = readers.
Authors = dark cottages in the witching woods.

Everyone needs to stay out of each other’s spaces. I’ve already heard of several authors harassing book bloggers this year (IT’S BEEN LIKE 2 WEEKS, PEOPLE). I truly get the pain of having your book misinterpreted, but it doesn’t MATTER!!! Let people think how they think. Authors should just go write another book and book bloggers should just go write another review.

Occasionally glitter should be thrown and Mad Hatters tea parties should be had and 12 croissants should be put in pockets.

But otherwise. No.

10. TIME TO BURY THE IDEA THAT I’M TERRIFYING AND HAVE POINTY TEETH AND WILL BITE YOU.

Look I do NOT bite! Except on Tuesday afternoons and like, maybe, between 11:30am and 12:00pm on weekdays because I get very hungry and lunch never comes soon enough.

I’m not scary, my little mortals. * I know I might seem a little intimidating. I know I have a big blog and have a book coming out and those are intimidating things and then top it off I’m also 5’1 tall!! I’m terrifying!! No one asked for this!!

But hear me out: I’m a dork who likes books and gets anxious and makes sandwiches backwards sometimes and can’t pronounce the word “gnat”. ** So come talk to me! Ask me questions! I promise I won’t bite and I blog to chat with you so here we are together. Isn’t this nice.

 

* Probably calling you “mortals” doesn’t help me trying to be less-scary-and-more-relatable here but I GET STICKERS FOR TRYING.
** I don’t like that the G is silent. That seems unfair. I say it with the G.

 

tell me some things you hope the book blogging world leaves behind in 2017!?? what are some habits/happenings you’d rather never see again?

If there’s two things I love in life, they are lists and lists within lists.

I have my love life in order, you know I do.

And as is common for this time of year, it’s time to talk about goals! I admit I actually really struggle to write goals because pressure. It’s like having someone look over your shoulder all the time…except it’s you looking over your own shoulder and that’s creepy for multiple reasons. But I digress! As I usually do!

But before I dive into my 2018 * goals, let’s do a quick recap of last year’s list. So basically this post is listastic and I’ll show myself out for being so badly punny.

* Why is it so weird typing that?! Does anyone else start a new year and go “HOLY HECK IT’S WEIRD TYPING THIS NEW DATE” for the next 11 months??? No? Just me? Ok.

• READ 200 BOOKS. ✓ I actually read 251 because I am an OVERACHIEVER and no one is surprised.
• RE-READ 10 BOOKS. ✓ I’m so proud but I actually did this!! I reread 22 books!
• REACH 40,000 FOLLOWERS ON #BOOKSTAGRAM. ✗ Ok well I do believe my original words were “LET ME DREAM” so I did dream. Then I fell over. But I’m at 36,000!
• DO COLLAB POSTS WITH OTHER BLOGGERS.✓ I did this! I actually did it!! I collabed with genre predictions and then with Mish and Daley.
• WRITE 2 BOOKS AND EDIT 2 BOOKS. ✓ This is so adorable at least 5 of us are laughing very hard into our popcorn right now. I actually wrote the most I’ve ever written in my life. I got down 1 MILLION WORDS, 7 drafts and 3 rewrites. Not to mention copy-editing my book A THOUSAND PERFECT NOTES which you will get to eat in exactly. 6. more. months. AHHH. Also I broke my laptop keyboard. Twice. Also I’m very tired.
• WRITE A SEQUEL.✓  I ended up writing 3!
• GET SERIOUS ABOUT WRITING ADULT FANTASY. ✗ Okay so funny story…I was trying and then I realised my tone and style is just far too YA. So I’m just going to cry in this awkward corner because I’m too bloody for YA and too smol for adult.
• GET NEW PRODUCTS INTO MY ETSY STORE. ✗ LMAO I DIDN’T EVEN TRY.
• START A READING JOURNAL. ✗ I did but then, predictably it died about 3 months later. I ended up just keeping track of new book releases and my instagram challenges in it.
• UPGRADE MY IPOD. ✓ Oh I remember putting this on the list because I knew I was about to buy one 3 days later. Cait. You’re so fantastic and hopeless. I like ticking lists, ok.
• UPGRADE MY BRAIN. ✗ I mean…I wrote 1 million words. But I’m not sure if that’s an upgrade or a down??? I HAVEN’T SLEPT IN 7 MONTHS.
• CONTINUE QUEENSHIP. ✓ Heckin’ yes My book is about to infiltrate all your houses.
• BE A DRAGON BUT NOT BURN DOWN THE CONTINENTS MAYBE. ✗ No I failed. I’m sorry if I ate you. This was perhaps one of my most anxious/depressed years.
• READ LESS ARCS. ✗ Technically I read 114 library / bought books and 127 books from publishers so haha hahah. Mate.

7 achieved out of 14 isn’t…too…bad????

Haha haha. Oh dear.

• READ 200 BOOKS. I am nothing if not PREDICTABLE. Also, true story: I’m doing a lot of editing lately and less reading so I reeeally want to not overachieve this. Reading has been stressing me out a bit so: Cait. Calm down.
• DO EDITS ON MY 2019 NOVEL. Which you will someday read holy heck. My second novel honestly has my heart and I cannot frikkin wait to announce it.
• WRITE 4 NEW NOVELS & REWRITE 2 NOVELS. My goals should actually be “don’t write 1 million words cait you broke your laptop remember.” But yet here we are.
• WRITE A BOOK SLOWLY (AKA NOT IN 3 DAYS). This is actually a huge challenge okay!! I’m not sure if I can do it!! I write fast because I have 13% of an attention span and when I get into hyperfocus I’d rather just stay there. But it’s also really exhausting. So can I pretend to be mortal? Who can know.
• WRITE SOMETHING THAT SCARES ME. And by “scare” I don’t mean horror and blood (haha I can do that already), I mean write some risky things and some #ownvoices narratives for autism and mental illness. I want to write things that could be amazing if I don’t scuttle anxiously away.
• READ BACKLIST TITLES. My TBR hates me so trying to rekindle our relationship before it asks to move out.
• REREAD 30 BOOKS. I’m actually addicted to this rereading thing but this will be a challenge!
• DON’T STRESS ABOUT MY BOOK’S RELEASE IN JUNE. Ha haha HAHA Hahha hahahahahah.
• INCREASE MY RUNNING ROUTE TO 6 OR 7KMS. I currently do 5kms every day and it kills me but you always wanted a ghost blogger didn’t you? haha hah. I’m so punny.
• REVIVE MY ETSY STORE. Ah unrealistic expectations I see.
• REACH 20K ON TWITTER & 45K ON INSTAGRAM. This is actually hilarious but I can dream.
• NOT BREAK EVERYTHING I TOUCH. I literally break…so…many things. My headphones. My power cords. My laptop (TWICE THIS YEAR FROM TYPING 1 MILLION WORDS). My sanity. My shoes. If I break a mirror next, I want someone to come and pet me gently because I am not okay.
• MAYBE PLAY PIANO AGAIN. I miss playing! I haven’t practised properly in 3 years but I could start up again?!?
• WEAR MY NEW CLOAK. And rule darkly or something. I do have one. Be feared.

Honestly I think the take away from this is my #1 goal of the year is to SLOW DOWN which is hilarious. Most people want to achieve things for their goals and I need to chill out ah haha hahha. Anyway I do not plan to read my socks off this year so if you want to beat me –> this is your chance.

what are your 2018 goals??! how many books are you planning to read? do we have any similar goals???

I just want to pause and thank Google for sending the absolute most strangest people ever to my blog.

Well done, Google. For all the people who typed something random into your search and then found ME, well I (a) appreciate the page stat, and (b) think you’re probably terrible at your job, because (c) HOW DID MOST OF THESE SEARCH RESULTS LEAD TO ME.

Move over Stranger Things, we have the Strangest Fury Blog coming right up.

Because YES! I’m going to answer some of my blog’s search term results for this year! Now I do this every month in my recap posts but last year I did a whole post on it and who is arguing with that kind of quality content, amirite?!? * This will be glorious. Also you might recognise me answering some of these from this year but probably not because: let’s be real. Both our memories are no