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We Were Wolves by Jason Cockcroft, An Illustrated Story of Survival & Heartache

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We Were Wolves is a cold and dark tale of a boy and his father, and how everything implodes between them.

It has such a literary style of writing, introspective and thoughtful. It felt like the boy as an adult talking about this experience that shaped his life forever. At its bones, its a story of trauma and trying to save a parental figure when they should be taking care of their child. It’s about PTSD and retreating into imagination to escape, and it’s about grief and loss and neglect.

The boy (I’m racking my brain but now realising I don’t think he ever had a name?!) lived in a caravan in the woods with his father, John, who has PTSD after the Afghanistan war and he came home and couldn’t reconnect with his family. He’s fallen in with bad people and does robberies, but the boy persistently chooses his father, chooses to love and forgive him and see passed his wounds to be there for him. It’s unconditional love, and it is beautiful on the boy’s part — except for the fact he’s neglected and endangered by his father continually. Their bond is toxic but understandable. But the parental neglect hurt double because the boy HAS A MOTHER. But she just up and let her teen (pre-teen?) son go!?! She loves him, but I honestly found her behaviour unacceptable. This was an at-risk child the entire time. And not one adult cared.

The boy also has a dog 🥺 whom arrives at the right time to give him comfort.

There’s a layer of magic to the story too, with the boy seeing woods and ancient bison — basically him coping with his father’s erratic behaviour. When things are going wrong, he feels wolves. I always love this sort of element to a book, raw and dark and aching.

The illustrations are also beautiful! The style so perfectly complimented the tale, wintery with melting edges and dark colours. Totally maintain my belief that all books should be illustrated!!!

The only thing that didn’t click with me (personal preference) is that it was very slow and I felt like the narrator was worried the audience would drift so kept spoiling the book himself?! The boy would start off giving you a HUGE piece of information that took the weight out of any revelations. It’s the style though. But you really know the ending by, um, reading page 1…

A gritty and rugged story of survival and neglect, of yearning to save a parent and trying to find language to process what’s happening. Amazingly illustrated and told with a layer of yearning.

Thank you to Walker Books Australia for the review-copy! Out June, 2021.

Boy lives in a caravan on his own in the woods. His dad, John, is in prison and promises to get out soon. All the boy needs to do is survive alone for a little while longer. But dark forces are circling – like the dangerous man in the Range Rover, who is looking for his stolen money. And then there are the ancient forces that have lain asleep in the woods for an age…
A darkly intense illustrated novel about survival, the natural world and the complex bond between father and son.

Goodreads | Book Depository | Booktopia | Walker Books

Concrete Rose by Angie Thomas — The THUG Prequel Is Here!

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Concrete Rose is the highly anticipated prequel novel to the super-famous The Hate U Give!

I have to say, I am always so so curious when authors get to do sequels or prequels…flesh out their world and show us other sides to minor characters. This one is set in the ’90s and is about Starr’s dad as a 17-year-old. And — OH WOW — he was a disaster. But also I ached for Mav and all he went through and just the sheer weight of the burden left on his shoulders. He is still a kid through all of this, and he made so many thoughtless decisions, but the way he unpacks what it is to be a man makes for a story that will hit your heart hard.

I always really love Angie Thomas books. They are thoroughly worth their places of honour as permanent bestsellers. I think THUG and On the Come Up are my favourites, but Concrete Rose takes us on quite a different journey. It hits a lot of the themes Angie Thomas often writes about: life for Black teens, poverty, being in or around gangs, facing a world that is systematically built to crush them, everything from microagressions to vicious racism — and, so importantly, the joy of what life CAN and WILL be. There’s hope in these pages, as well as love and fierce pride over making a life for yourself no matter what the world throws at you.

Also it’s nice reading about a teen dad! I don’t think I’ve read a YA featuring a teen dad before. Mav ends up with near sole custody of his 3-month-old baby, Seven (omggg Seven 😭) and it’s so sad how it all happened, but like Mav is the BEST dad. He gets overwhelmed and has no idea what he’s doing. But he never, never does anything but love his son and want to be the best father. Of course there’s all the drama we know from THUG —  Seven isn’t Mav’s girlfriend’s baby. And Mav’s expected to work, go to school, raise his kid, keep his head up in the gang he had to join for protection, and win back Lisa. It’s a lot. His overwhelm and heartbreak is really palpable on page. You LIVE this with him. And he’s just so proud of his kid, no matter what. He’s ashamed of himself at times, but never his baby. It’s really lovely.

The plot mostly is Mav learning to bloom in hard places. (Concrete !! Rose!!) It’s not super fast-paced, but there’s drama and angst and heartbreak and baby-shaped-poop-catastrophes. I whipped through it all in one day and that was nice 😪💛I will admit, Mav is quite sexist and I felt all the girls (Iesha and Lisa included) were barely developed. And NO ONE cut Mav slack?! Like the girls were so so harsh on him but…um 👀 they were not blameless. So that was frustrating.

It’s a story about Black boys learning what it is to be men — and the strength of vulnerability and love and being gentle. Another incredible read from an incredible author.

“Son, one of the biggest lies ever told is that black men don’t feel emotions. Guess it’s easier not to see us as human when you think we’re heartless. Fact of the matter is, we feel things. Hurt, pain, sadness, all of it. We got a right to show them feelings as much as anybody else.”

If there’s one thing seventeen-year-old Maverick Carter knows, it’s that a real man takes care of his family. As the son of a former gang legend, Mav does that the only way he knows how: dealing for the King Lords. With this money he can help his mom, who works two jobs while his dad’s in prison.
Life’s not perfect, but with a fly girlfriend and a cousin who always has his back, Mav’s got everything under control.
Until, that is, Maverick finds out he’s a father.
Suddenly he has a baby, Seven, who depends on him for everything. But it’s not so easy to sling dope, finish school, and raise a child. So when he’s offered the chance to go straight, he takes it. In a world where he’s expected to amount to nothing, maybe Mav can prove he’s different.
When King Lord blood runs through your veins, though, you can’t just walk away. Loyalty, revenge, and responsibility threaten to tear Mav apart, especially after the brutal murder of a loved one. He’ll have to figure out for himself what it really means to be a man.

Goodreads | Book Depository | Walker Books | Booktopia

Thanks to Walker Books AUS for the ARC!

The Mermaid, The Witch, And The Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall [Brilliant And Brutal!]

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This was just so brilliant and brutal, it will absolutely take you by the throat and not let go.

I was just not expecting to adore this book this much, and I’m so grateful it exists to grace our human eyes. It’s phenomenal. Definitely darker than YA usually dares to go, and yet so beautifully written. That contrast? I live for that kind of contrast.

both the world building and characters were incredible

Usually I find YA fantasy does one or the other, but we got both here? 🥺💛 My whole heart is aching. While I didn’t understand the full dynamics of the world (a lot happened off page, I felt) it was just so vast and dark and commanding. It also honed in to class separation, contrasting Evelyn’s life as nobility to Flora’s life literally in the muck and murder of the streets. Add in the chapters from Rake and the horror of a childhood where his town was taken over and colonised. (I wasn’t totally sure if the people groups were separated by fantasy-versions of our race, but the Empire was Japanese-fantasy inspired.)

would die for these characters!!

Well, for Flora and Evelyn!! The pirates on the other hand can go die by themselves!!! These aren’t your frolicsome robin-hood-esque pirates: these are marauding, evil, wickedness incarnate pirates. They murder, rape and pillage, and Flora is basically in a “cabin boy” (she goes by the name Florian) position along with her brother Alfie, because it was better than death on the streets.

The Dove is a ship that pretends to cart passengers to their destination, but halfway there, they stage an uprising and lock all their rich passengers in the brig and then sell them as slaves. It’s their running con. They also murder and drink mermaid blood as a kind of drug/alcohol.

Evelyn is the beautiful empire daughter, off to marry a rich unknown military husband. Flora is assigned to watch her so none of the men mess with her.

Together, they…💛💛💛😭😭 start feeling things. Their dynamic is teacher/student as Evelyn shows Flora how to read, and then they turn to friends, and then soft crushes, and then escapees and lovers. 🥺 They will ruin you with their soft, yearning love. They are each other’s safe place, but they also  give each other this knowledge that they can be loved in this world that has always deemed them disgusting or unwanted.

“We don’t just read to imagine better lives. We read to be introduced to all kinds of lives. Any kind. Not just for ourselves, but for everyone around us. To understand others better. It’s escape, and it’s also a way to become more connected to everyone around you. There’s power in that, you know. In understanding. It’s like magic.”

Flora/Florian is Black and genderfluid (this is discussed on page!!), and mostly uses she/her pronouns though not always. Evelyn is Japanese (fantasy version) and maybe bisexual since she does crush on Flora as Florian too. Evelyn and Flora are so gentle together, challenging each other’s beliefs and privilege.

The story also has chapters by Rake (a pirate spy who secretly serves the Pirate Supreme and wants to take down the Dove and its twisted captain) and the Lady Aya and Genevieve who are also not who they seem. I actually liked their chapters too, because it rounded out the story and gave a lot more depth to the world. ALSO the Pirate Supreme is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns on page!! (Okay I am just SO EXCITED TO FINALLY READ AN UNAPOLOGETICALLY QUEER FANTASY.)

the story is…

Brutal, beautiful, gallant, tragic, hopeful. It’s literally got everything, including the witches and mermaids in the title! It does NOT spare you, but it won’t leave you gutted like poor gasping fish either (well, mostly 😌😙) The middle did get a bit slow though, and the witchy section confused me a bit, but honestly pfft @ my two braincells. I marched on and loved it.

But I will say that Alfie deserved way way better and I would cry for him. He was too soft for this world, and I ached that Flora sort of despised him for it. I would totally take a spin-off about Alfie!!

tl;dr list of why to read this

  • queer romance of softness and yearning
  •  nonbinary and genderfluid rep
  • dark, despicable pirates
  • sea voyages and island stays
  • complex sibling relationship 🥺
  • that time Evelyn gets a gun and shoots someone and Flora just goes 😍😍😍

“I was aiming for his heart,” Evelyn admitted a little sheepishly.
Evelyn. Evelyn with a pistol! Flora felt a strange pride billowing in her heart. She wanted to take Evelyn in her arms and kiss her the way a pirate out to be kissed.

Overall, just this book is everything I want in a fantasy and it was exquisite and painful, dark and sewn with hope.

Thanks Walker Books AUS for the ARC! The Mermaid, The Witch, And the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall comes out Sept 2, 2020.

A desperate orphan turned pirate and a rebellious imperial daughter find a connection on the high seas in a world divided by colonialism and threaded with magic.
Aboard the pirate ship Dove, Flora the girl takes on the identity of Florian the man to earn the respect and protection of the crew. For Flora, former starving urchin, the brutal life of a pirate is about survival: don’t trust, don’t stick out, and don’t feel. But on this voyage, as the pirates prepare to sell their unsuspecting passengers into slavery, Flora is drawn to the Lady Evelyn Hasegawa, who is en route to a dreaded arranged marriage with her own casket in tow. Flora doesn’t expect to be taken under Evelyn’s wing, and Evelyn doesn’t expect to find such a deep bond with the pirate Florian.
Soon the unlikely pair set in motion a wild escape that will free a captured mermaid (coveted for her blood, which causes men to have visions and lose memories) and involve the mysterious Pirate Supreme, an opportunistic witch, and the all-encompassing Sea itself.

Goodreads | Book Depository | Amazon | Publisher

do you like pirate or sea-themed books? any favourites? 👀 also tell me if you’ve read/want to read this one!

Burn by Patrick Ness [Ft. 1950s, Teen Assassin Cultists, and Dragons!!!]

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Ness books are always this exquisite mix of the unique, bizarre and heartfelt aching.

This one is set in the 1950s and it’s strange, so so strange, but honestly enthralling. The middle of the book left me utterly breathless. It’s one of those stories you cannot predict and I actually enjoy being left to the whims of an author instead of guessing how it’ll all turn out by the end (I read a lot, okay!!! I make a lot of accurate guesses!!)

I also have a giveaway going right now on Instagram if you want to enter!

The story looks like this:

it’s 1956, Sarah Dewhurst’s father’s farm is failing. She’s biracial and black and faces awful discrimination in her tiny backwards town of Frome (her best friend Jason is Japanese and treated even worse than she is) and she’s missing her dead mum and she’s worried this is it for her whole life. Farm. Pigs. Hiding that she loves Jason because it’ll just give racists more to harass them about. Oh and also? There are dragons. And it’s NORMAL. And there are jUST DRAGONS RANDOMLY. Also a teen assassin cultist who worships dragons. Also FBI people tracking down teen cultist because he’s about to murder someone. Also he’s headed for Frome. Also he’s soft and gay and his name is Malcolm — but is it? And Sarah’s dragon is Russian and sarcastic and non threatening — bUT IS IT??

So it seems like a quiet book, and it is…but it is also thoroughly wild. It’s the perfect read for people who like genre-smashers, the bizarre made normal, and introspective style of storytelling.

I didn’t even mention everything bizarre that goes on because you need the plot twists 😂 prepare ourselves to absorb.

I quite liked this book!

It took a bit of getting used to, and I’m not wholly sure what the message was apart from: war is bad, don’t be a warmonger. I really loved Malcolm, our cultist boy assassin, because he’s just such a dedicated dumbass and I loved his character arc stretching him and challenging him to think for himself. Sarah was so down-to-earth and sensible, the kind of character who you can rely on to be solid. The writing has this factual quality, but also it’s just so powerful and edged with whimsy. The whole book has a lot to say.

(It’s not my favourite Ness book, but a captivating one nevertheless!!)

This is a story of war and change, of teens who have been lied to or mistreated, and have left to search for their own truths.

It’s bizarre and enchanting and twisty, and incorporates high fantasy (prophecies! dragons!) into a more modern setting in such an intriguing way. I’ve not read anything quite like this. And if you’re sitting there like, “does this have REAL dragon content” well yes, yes it does. Kasimir is a sassy little smart alek, I adored every moment of his scaly calm wit and comebacks.

Thanks to Walker Books for the ARC! Burn by Patrick Ness is out now!

In 1956 Sarah Dewhurst’s father shocks her by hiring a dragon to work the farm. The dragon is a smaller blue rather than the traditional larger reds, though even the reds are now scarce. When the blue dragon, Kazimir, unexpectedly saves Sarah and her friend Jason Inagawa from the attentions of the racist police deputy, Kelby, everything changes. Sarah is part of a prophecy and she must escape the clutches of Malcolm, an assassin from a Believer Cell, the dragon-worshiping cult. When Sarah, Malcolm, and Kazimir eventually converge, they are thrown into another universe, where dragons seem never to have existed. Can they save this world and the one they left?

Goodreads | Walker Books | Book Depository

alright let’s talk DRAGONS — if your current read had dragons in it, would it help or wreck the plot?! and tell me if you’ve read any Patrick Ness books!

 

Chain Of Gold by Cassandra Clare [Super Hyped Book Is Here!!] + Giveaway

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There is so much I really admire about the Shadowhunter series.

And Cassandra Clare. 🥺💛 Having such a long-running series that spans centuries, with its own lore and histories and complex backstories — it’s all phenomenal and special. Plus these are fantasy books that actually have diverse rep, with queer and POC characters, which is how all fantasy books should be. Chain of Gold was a very hyped book for me. I mean, of course it was!! I’m so glad I had a chance to read it. Out of all the Shadowhunter books I’ve read so far, I think The Dark Artifices is my heart favourite. But I love just the concept of this world with  its mix of biblical lore, demons and angels and wicked and lovely creatures.

✨Also stop by my Instagram page to enter the INTL giveaway!✨

Things To Look Forward To In This Book

➢ new brand of maliciously wicked demon
➢ Edwardian England setting!
➢ James literally shouting, “I LOVE TEA” so yes we know they’re British.
➢ the utterly stunning concept of girls in ballgowns with swords
➢ delightful amount of accepted and loved queer rep
➢ mysteries unravelling about Tessa’s demon heritage
➢ dark magic
➢ who quickly heroes turn to villains and vice versa

“Though it is entirely bad form to appear unannounced at teatime. There simply won’t be enough cake for everybody. The girls will have cake and the boys nothing. There is no other fair way to do it.”

This new series feels like a love letter to all who really adored Will, Tess and Jem in The Infernal Devices series.

They don’t star here, but this is the series about the next generation, aka, their children! Will and Tessa’s kids are James and Lucie, two of the main characters. Then we have the kids of Gabriel and Gideon Lightwood, and of course more Fairchilds and Carstairs. There are…stacks of characters. 😂 And the Shadowhunter world in London feels oddly at peace, so the kids have grown up picnicking and going to school instead of in a warzone. It’s got a lot of historical-fiction flair too, where the women are proper and scandals are horrific and it’s all about “protect your family name” while most everyone suffers under invisible duties.

[characters]

I always accidentally fall in love with the secondary characters the most in Shadowhunter books! 😂 I did struggle telling all these characters apart, and couldn’t actually tell you which kid belonged to which family. I feel like all the character introductions were done in Ghosts of the Shadow Market, which I read but don’t remember much of? I expected CoG to flesh everyone out and make them dimensional and explosive (like TDA!!) but I hesitantly say I felt the characters stuck to their one descriptor and didn’t expand. Like Lucie was a dramatic novelist (relatable tho), James could step into hell realms, Matthew was a drunk, Alister was a misunderstood villain, Cordelia had a sword, etc. etc. And it was hard when the original TID gang named their kids all after each other…ahhh too man Jameses.

So as much as I wanted to love everyone, I felt James, Lucie, Cordelia, and Matthew weren’t very dynamic. I fell IN LOVE with Anna (the butch lesbian who were suits, seduced women, and was just exceptionally epic) and I wanted more Alister (the stressed secret gay) and I missed that Magnus wasn’t in it more! Jesse Blackthorn intrigued the heck out of me. I want more of him. These side-characters were so vivid, flawed, and troubled. My heart!

[the story it told]

I was super intrigued how this one was about demons attacking Shadowhunters, but specifically. It was all insidious and they uncovered a tricky plot. Maybe the ending felt easy, but I think that’s because there’s way WAY more coming. And I love the darkness behind the intentions.

“They need a muse,” said Anna. “Someone to be inspired by. Someone to know their secrets. Would you like to be a muse?”
“No,” said Cordelia. “I would like to be a hero.”

It’s always a delight to be back in the Shadowhunter world.

I think this one will totally delight fans of TID. The book is full of loving detail, and paints a sweeping and vast world that mixes magic with history. I love seeing series going strong and far. I think, as someone who didn’t really click with TID as much as TMI and TDA, I liked reading this but I’m secretly hanging out for Wicked Powers like nothing else. 😍

 

Thanks so much to Walker Books for the ARC! Chain of Gold (The Last Hours #1) by Cassandra Clare is published March 3rd. 2020.

Goodreads | Book Depository | Walker Books

Welcome to Edwardian London, a time of electric lights and long shadows, the celebration of artistic beauty and the wild pursuit of pleasure, with demons waiting in the dark. For years there has been peace in the Shadowhunter world. James and Lucie Herondale, children of the famous Will and Tessa, have grown up in an idyll with their loving friends and family, listening to stories of good defeating evil and love conquering all. But everything changes when the Blackthorn and Carstairs families come to London…and so does a remorseless and inescapable plague.
James Herondale longs for a great love, and thinks he has found it in the beautiful, mysterious Grace Blackthorn. Cordelia Carstairs is desperate to become a hero, save her family from ruin, and keep her secret love for James hidden. When disaster strikes the Shadowhunters, James, Cordelia and their friends are plunged into a wild adventure which will reveal dark and incredible powers, and the true cruel price of being a hero…and falling in love.

tell me your favourite shadowhunter series and characters!! do you have any long-running series you adore?

 

Arc of Scythe (Whole Trilogy Review!) By Neal Shusterman [Ft. Murder And Loveable AIs]

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I finally finished up the Arc of Scythe trilogy today — ending with the massive finale: The Toll!

2019 has been such a year for epic finales, which seems fitting: end of a decade, END OF OUR EMOTIONS!!!! I have reviewed the first two books before, but I thought I’d walk us through my feelings on the whole trilogy.🤗I’ve read quite a few Shusterman books, and I’m pleased I finished up this trilogy although I think my favourites of his collection are Unwind, Dry, Bruiser, and Challenger Deep!

“Therein lies the paradox of the profession,” Faraday said. “Those who wish to have the job should not have it…and those who would most refuse to kill are the only ones who should.”

✨no spoilers, hopefully!! but I am talking about the 3rd book will inadvertently give hints about the first two, so you’ve been warned!✨

Scythe | Goodreads

The first book is definitely my favourite of the trilogy. It introduces us to a perfect world, where no one dies…unless they’re gleaned strategically by scythes, who keep the population balanced. Citra and Rowan are taken on as apprentices and they have to learn to kill. For a good cause. Failure equals their lives forfeit. Basically it’s a utopia, with rotten threads under the surface. Those kind of narratives, I LOVE, because there’s so much intrigue and mystery. Also Schusterman has such a wonderful writing style. You just get swept up in it and — boom — next thing you know, you’ve read 4 of his books already and you’re thinking too much and you’ve named your firstborn fish THUNDERHEAD.

Citra and Rowan were the reason I got invested. They’re good kids: wholesome, a little snarky, and I loved their friendship. Also PS. the entire series is really focused on friendship over romance!

Thunderhead | Goodreads

This one really amped up the stakes and it was POWERFUL. This was intense and full of plot twists and politics and muRDeR. The actual plot of this one is kind of slow, but very thoughtful. I definitely enjoyed it, although it was super long, so there were a ton of scenes here thought I wished were more concise. However, I really loved how twisty and schemey everything turned out?! Citra is over here doing the political side of the scythedom and Rowan is over there just murdering bad scythes like a righteous angel of death. Gotta stan our child-disaster-scythes.

But this was when I really started to love the Thunderhead (hi title of the book!). He reminds me of AIDAN in Illuminae (less murdery though and more chill) and I love how it was everyone’s caring mother, but also calmly ordered deaths. The Thunderhead was the mum-friend who also would maybe stab you a little.

And this one? Left you internally screaming over the cliffhanger.

The Toll | Goodreads

So in a well-ordered universe I would’ve reread the first two before picking up the finale, but I had no time and while I’ve liked the series very well, it hasn’t sparked me into an exploding Christmas tree lightbulb of infatuation. I DO feel a bit bad about that. So I went in feeling a bit lost…and remained lost for 90% of the book. I  fully admire how politically applicable this series is, and how the story is clever and intricate and very very intelligent.

But it’s really plot-driven. Rowan and Citra were barely in it, and I just wasn’t invested. The storyline is about scythes and the world falling and how the Thunderhand had a plan of clever subterfuge to save them all. But we dodged from so many narratives (from a lot of people I don’t care about oooops), that I couldn’t feel locked into the story. And at 600pgs with Rowan and Citra maybe gracing about 50pgs all up? It lost me. (I still loooove the Thunderhead and ship it and Greyson.🥺)

For me, the finale finished up as something I admire as an intelligent pice of art, even if it wasn’t my favourite storytelling style. Scythe is my pick of the three!

| what do you think? |

have you finished any series this year??? have you been reading this one? tell me your thoughts!!

 

Nevertell by Katharine Orton [Russian Fairytales, Bitter and Frosty and Beautiful!]

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This was such a fantastically icy magical adventure!

I really loved how it tangled historical fiction and Russian fairytales together — it was full of snow and ice and dubious sorceresses (which I loved because that gave me Narnia throwbacks…I grew up with the audiobooks on repeat!). So I just really enjoyed gobbling up this middle-grade magical fantasy this afternoon. Also that cover? Can we just say entirely gorgeous.😍

[story]

It follows Lina and her best friend Bogdan who are in a Russian concentration camp, planning an escape that goes terribly wrong. They end up having to run from their fellow-escapee companions, who want them dead because there’s not enough food, and the two best friends end up meeting a strange lady in the woods who turns bad men into ghost wolves. She’s fearsome, mysterious, and…jaded. Meet Svetlana: probably a sorceress and probably dangerous. They can’t trust her…or is there more to her story than the tricky magic and anger she presents?

It has some dark undertones, especially with the concentration camp, but it definitely keep things on the lighter side for the kids 😭💛I also appreciated how it discussed the abuse of power, how bad people can say “nice things” but how it’s manipulative and wrong. It’s really good to start talking to kids about that.

The magical part was GORGEOUS. Lina slowly discovers she has powers! We also: (a) meet the cutest ever little spirit, (b) everyone eats a lot of bad bread and frozen onions, (c) there’s a magical cloak and (d) Lina is quick-thinking and Bogdan makes maps and it’s just so terrifically FRIGID AND COLD. The chill fairly seeps off the pages.

Imagining tends to give people inconvenient ideas, and those with power don’t like to be inconvenienced.

[characters]

Oh Lina was amazing! She was a total mix between spicy and determined, but also kind and gentle. Like NO WAY was anyone going to be harmed if Lina was there. Bogdan tagged along loyally and they meet a few epic people along the way too!

Also MAGIC. Magic everywhere. Frosty and intricate and lovely.

A beautiful read! (Although!!! Feed these kids!! I was so hungry on their behalf 🥺)

Thanks Walker Books for the review-copy! It came out November, 2019!

A gorgeous, snowy adventure, set in the wilds of Siberia, full of magic and wonder, for junior readers.
Born in a Soviet prison camp, Lina has never seen the world outside until the night she escapes with her best friend, Bogdan. As the pair journey across a snowy wilderness, they are pursued by a vengeful sorceress and her pack of shadow wolves. The children will need every ounce of courage – and a whisper of magic – if they are to survive…

Goodreads | Book Depository | Walker Books

| WHAT DO YOU THINK? |

tell me your favourite Russian books!! and do you read much middle-grade? is this one on your TBR?

 

Ghosts of the Shadow Market by Cassandra Clare (Ft. Short Stories If You Miss Your Old Faves!)

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It’s always a satisfying pleasure to be back in my favourite Shadowhunter world.

I just adore it all so much, ok? I’m in deep. I love that we get backstory and extra time with favourite characters. I love the indulgence of seeing characters grow up over the course of all the series and get married and have kids. Like, ok sometimes it’s totally sappy. But I don’t CARE. I am a soft leaf of grass these days. Let me be happy with my kids.

This is a collection of 10 short stories.

They’re set from the 1900s to 2012 and all sort of incorporate the Shadow Market. Most are through Jem Carstair’s eyes (when he’s a Silent Brother and when he’s free) and dude is a miserable eloquent mop and I love him so much. I was #TeamJem the whole way ok (he deserved better), so this was just nice to be back with him as he searches for the lost Herondale line as a tribute to Will.

TL;DR version of my feels

  • love love love because it’s Shadowhunters ok
  • the Shadowhunter family tree is convoluted and exhausting
  • I resent everyone in TID growing up to name their children all after each other. I cannot tell anyone apart or know who belongs to who.
  • I really don’t like the Thule!Jace storyline I just…thought I’d get onboard but I am not. That’s my only criticism for the whole series oops.
  • Freaking HERE for a certain couple having a baby at the end.😍
  • Magnus/Alec are a GIFT; eternally.
  • I’m so glad Clare keeps gifting us with little in-between moments and giving these domestic scenes + action and relaying important info. (But the domestic scenes make me heart eyes.)
  • I really loved the art starting each story!!

Cast Long Shadows

This was the hardest to follow because we have like ALL the TID kids here and holy heck I could not keep them straight. Fairchilds and Herondales and Lightwoods galore. They all had so many kids hahah. Anyway it was sad? But rather made me think Matthew was an idiot for trusting a faerie potion instead of talking to his parents.

Every Exquisite Thing

Butch lesbian appreciation. We stan. I also just loved this quiet love and acceptance of queerness by Anna’s parents!! Also Jem being badass and solving Shadow Market mysteries.

Learn About Loss

Brother Zachariah (cough*Jem*cough) and Sister Emilia go to a carnival to discover more about the Lost Herondale line. And look, Jem has a dream where he and Will run hand-in-hand across a moonlight rooftops and u tell me that’s very heterosexual.

A Deeper Love

Oh wow this one was STRESSFUL. Jem gets hurt and Tessa freaks out and it’s set in WWII and also features Catrina Loss! I really liked this one. Nothing like some good wretched feels.

The Wicked Ones

This was like…ugh [throws up a little] a 17yo shadowhunter crushing on Stephan Herondale (23yo and married) so much that she’ll do anything to make him fall in love with her. These are Jace’s parents! And it shows more how Valentine controlled his inner circle.

Son of the Dawn

ok this one made me laugh because it has Raphael in it (LOVE Raphael) and Lily Chen, who ends up calling Jem “Brother Snackeriah” which ya know. She is not wrong. They also go pick up baby!Jace (he’s like 10 or something, but a baby) from being shipped to the Lightwoods on a boat loaded with drugs. Also Jace is so deeply damaged. Also BABY ISABELLE AND ALEC. They’re adorable.

The Land I Lost

100000% my favourite story of the book. Laughed out LOUD. Wanted to cry. Omg. This is when Alec finds and adopts little Rafe and I just!!! Ok I am a mess for Alec/Magnus domestic scenes and while this was mostly Alec being badass alone in Buenos Aires and finding the Institute there is super corrupt…it still had the most ADORABLE scenes in it. Also Rafe was such a feral little thing and every time Alec was just holding him comfortingly. 😫💛 Also Magnus’ line of “you left for 3 days and adopted a child…imagine if we let you roam for a week.” I LOVE THEM.

Through Blood, Through Fire

Jem and Tessa are still looking for that Lost Herondale kid. They are not good at this hide and seek. This one is angsty but I appreciate Jem/Tessa together. Aw.

The Lost World

Finally we get some BLACKTHORNS. This is mostly by Livvy, but some of Ty’s POV. I really miss Ty and I’m crying…he is so sad. He refuses to acknowledge he has a hole in his life without Kit. Shows more of what Livy can do now…I liked it but made me SAD that we don’t get Wicked Powers for so so long….I want it now.

Forever Fallen

Ok this was soft sweetness with Baby Carstairs and Kit stopping being an abandoned orphan. LOVE the Carstairs family 100%. Also more of Thule!Jace who I do not understand and do not want to see ever again 🤗 I assume this is warning that there will be lots of Thule storyline in Wicked Power and bleh. Do not want. But I do want Ty and Kit and will die for them. So. (Yes, I’m chill about it.)

Also the last sentence is: “This evening, the whole sky was bronze, as though to summon wicked powers.”

SCREEEEAMING

Thank you to Walker Books AUS for the review-copy! It released June, 2019.

Goodreads | Booktopia | Walker Books | Book Depository | Amazon

The Shadow Market is a meeting point for faeries, werewolves, warlocks and vampires. There the Downworlders buy and sell magical objects, make dark bargains, and whisper secrets they do not want the Nephilim to know. Through two centuries, however, there has been a frequent visitor to the Shadow Market from the City of Bones, the very heart of the Shadowhunters. As a Silent Brother, Brother Zachariah is sworn keeper of the laws and lore of the Nephilim. But once he was a Shadowhunter called Jem Carstairs, and his love, then and always, is the warlock Tessa Gray.
Follow Brother Zachariah and see, against the backdrop of the Shadow Market’s dark dealings and festive celebrations, Anna Lightwood’s first romance, Matthew Fairchild’s great sin and Tessa Gray plunged into a world war. Valentine Morgenstern buys a soul at the Market and a young Jace Wayland’s soul finds safe harbor. In the Market is hidden a lost heir and a beloved ghost, and no one can save you once you have traded away your heart. Not even Brother Zachariah…

| what do you think? |

tell me your favourite Shadowhunter series! and have you read these short stories yet? are they on your TBR?

 

Heartstream by Tom Pollock (ft. Twisted Social Media Thriller)

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Heartstream is super twisted and disturbingly addictive.

It’s a story full of unreliable narrators and convoluted secrets and the lengths people will go to get what they want. Basically let’s talk about ✨obsession✨ and how it makes humans into terrifying things. It’s the type of thriller you can’t put down because you need answers and you need them n o w.

// the story follows a split timeline and two narrators: Cat and Amy

📖 Amy’s storyline is in the near-future, and starts at her mother’s funeral. We get introduced us to the concept of “heartstreaming” — basically people connect up to a network and share their emotions. Anyone can download and feel what you feel. It was an intriguing concept even if I cannot for the life of me understand WHY this is a thing. Amy has this massive cultish following who basically believe they have rights to every inch of her life due to living through the trauma of her mum’s death with her. And yes??? It sort of feels like Amy was profiting off her mum’s death to broadcast her pain which was weird. But she was trying to cope, I guess? When she gets back from her mum’s funeral, she finds one of her fans in her house wtih a bomb strapped to her chest. She just wants to talk…

📖 Cat’s storyline is set in the present(ish) time, and she’s at in wild boyband fandom where shipping the two lead singers is a literal cutthroat CULT. It’s kind of terrifying?! People have dedicated their lives to shipping these guys (Ryan and Nick = aka “Rick”) and Cat’s BFF Evie is like the leader and a viral sensation. The secret: Cat is actually sleeping with Ryan and she’s too terrified to tell Evie who literally destroys people for even suggesting the boys aren’t in love. ALSO 🙌🏻 Ryan is an insipid jerk.

How do the storylines connect?

You don’t get to know for AGES and it’s really wild when they do. My eyes might have bugged out. It’s cleverly done and pretty wild…especially wondering if people would actually do that.

 

// it felt like a creative and unique story (but i was also weirded out)

Obsessive fandom culture, creepy online followers, and technology that is an exaggeration of what we have today are all intensely interesting topics to explore — but not my favourite to read, personally. I didn’t understand why anyone would “heartstream” suffering or obsess over a boyband to a vindictive degree. (I know the latter happens!! Peoples lives get ruined when a band breaks up and shipping can get aggressive ugh. But *I* don’t get it.) The book is well written and unputdownable (shh that’s totally a word) though and I’d definitely recommend it if you like thrillers! 👀

thanks to Walker Books for the ARC! Heartstream by Tom Pollock came out July 5th, 2019.

Goodreads | Book Depository | Amazon | Booktopia | Walker Books

I just wanted to see you. Before the end. A taut psychological thriller about obsession, fame and betrayal, for fans of Black Mirror. Cat is in love. Always the sensible one, she can’t believe that she’s actually dating, not to mention dating a star. But the fandom can’t know. They would eat her alive. And first at the buffet would definitely be her best friend, Evie. Amy uses Heartstream, a social media app that allows others to feel your emotions. She broadcasted every moment of her mother’s degenerative illness, and her grief following her death. It’s the realest, rawest reality TV imaginable. But on the day of Amy’s mother’s funeral, Amy finds a strange woman in her kitchen. She’s rigged herself and the house with explosives – and she’s been waiting to talk to Amy for a long time. Who is she? A crazed fan? What does she want? Amy and Cat are about to discover how far true obsession can go.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE ➢ my review of the author’s book: White Rabbit Red Wolf

| what do you think? |

would you want to like…livestream feelings?! good ones maybe? obviously fandom culture CAN be super toxic, but how far do you think people would go? and is this book on your TBR?

 

Starworld by Audrey Coulthurst & Paula Garner (Ft. Friendship and Your Heart, Over There, Breaking)

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This whole book is so deeply about friendship, heartaches, and imaginary escapes.

And oops, yes that would be my heart flinging itself into the void while weeping all the way. 😭 Honestly — I’m still processing how I feel about this. It’s been a few days, and my heart feels sore. But I still also understand that this was a small glimpse through a messy cracked window into two girls’ lives. I appreciate that.

It’s a soft book, slow and quiet and thoughtful. Absolutely funny at times too! It has families with problematic dynamics, intimate friendships, stolen moments for escapism into fantasy worlds, messages about loss and growing up. And it kinda broke me at the end.

*:·ﾟ✧ THE STORY IT TOLD *:·ﾟ✧

Basically this is the story of two girls, Sam and Zoe, who seem to be totally different sorts of people — but the accidentally connect and end up becoming each other’s safe space. Particularly through their (basically roleplay) fantasyworld: STARWORLD. Aka let’s talk about escapism. 🤗I really appreciated the book tackling that because I feel like so so many teens rely heavily on escapism, especially during highschool. My way of escaping was always writing my own fantasy stories. So like, is this book relatable content??? Yes. Yes it is.

Zoe and Sam text each other these silly, fun things about flying to the stars on a dragon who loves eating hot sauce. They go back and forth. They accidentally tumble into telling secrets to each other. When their lives crumble, they have their unlikely friendship. And they have Starworld.

And I think the core of the book was that: it’s ok to need a safe place, a safe person, while you gather the strength to climb your own mountains. You don’t have to be alone.

 

*:·ﾟ✧ FRIENDSHIP VS ROMANCE *:·ﾟ✧

Ok so truly this book is about friendship. Don’t go in expecting a focus on f/f romance (there is queer content though and Sam is questioning). And while I kiiinda wanted more romance, I also think it’s important for YA to emphasis and value friendships.

SPOILERS HERE -- Beware
I am disappointed with the ending. Like Sam had a crush, she didn’t really talk about it before she kissed Zoe…who was very very straight. And Zoe’s reaction WOULD have been absolutely devastating (she was so shocked, it would’ve been easy to translate that to “horror” or “repulsion” even though it wasn’t for Zoe. And then that was it? It took them years to speak again. So while the book built up friendship as such a solid and important thing — I almost felt the takeaway was “but it can be broken and dissolve to nothing if you mess it up”😫.

 

*:·ﾟ✧ SAM & ZOE *:·ﾟ✧

Ahh I loved them BOTH and how they clicked in such unexpected ways. They are fierce and wonderful girls!

➢ SAM: She’s the antisocial geek the loner, an incredible artist and mathematician with a cynical outlook on life. She has exactly one friend (Will) and she wants to design rocks after she finishes highschool. She’s queer-questioning too. But she feels like she’ll never be able to leave home because her mum has severe OCD, and Sam is trying to help her, protect her, and cover for her all at once. Sam’s basically taken on the burden of her mum’s illness and it’s ruining them both.

➢ ZOE: Basically Miss Perfect, who is the sweetheart of school. So kind! So nice! Just…nice! But inside Zoe is a hot MESS because she has severe rejection issues she’s working through from being adopted and she has zero self-worth and is swallowed by her guilt of loving her adopted family…but wanting to know about her birth mother. And her life is cracking to pieces because her adopted-mum has cancer and then Zoe’s 15yo extremely disabled brother is being considered for a disability-needs-home. Aka, he will be leaving. Aka, Zoe is freaked out that they’re “tossing him out” because he’s too much work. It’s triggering all her anxiety AND she’s so upset and worried about her brother.

And Sam and her friendship just becomes this no-judgement safe zone. They have messy families, uncertain futures, and they both ache to be seen for who they truly are.

 

*:·ﾟ✧ THE WRITING *:·ﾟ✧

Just want to shout out to the writing for being a thorough DELIGHT. The dialogue had a wondrous flow and the whole book just made me want to keep devouring chapter after chapter. Sam and Zoe had really different voices, personalities, and reactions to things and…they were just so *clenches fist* so so relatable and loveable despite being utter disasters.

 

*:·ﾟ✧ MENTAL HEALTH & DISABILITY REP *:·ﾟ✧

Ok YES I was nervous about reading potentially bad rep (which is common in books grr) but I think, overall, Starworld did a good job. I can’t speak from personal experiences of having OCD or a very severe nonverbal disability — but I do fit at different places on the mental illness/disability spectrum, hence I had a deep interest in reading this. 👀

I definitely broke for the disability rep — it was loving! It was hard to read about a family giving up their son, but their mum had cancer (not in remission) and they were breaking apart and not giving their disabled son the best quality life they could. It destroyed them to feel like the “failed” him. So there’s no “oh he’s too hard, we’re tossing him out” feels here. It was really well handled, I felt. Still made me WANNA CRY.

The OCD rep…gahhh. I had problems with it, particularly how it felt Sam blamed her mum for being OCD. But a kid shouldn’t have to take care of their parents’ burdens (the mum needed help/counselling), but I do find it tough reading about neurotypicals being all “I’m shouldering this burden 🙄of my mentally ill family member.” Because just…can we not.

 

*:·ﾟ✧ OVERALL WHAT DID I THINK? *:·ﾟ✧

I really liked it and it made me super emotional so many times!! The ending left me unevenly frustrated, but, after thinking about it, I do think the story it told was important still. It’s a tale that’s equally soft and sad, but also whimsical and special. It felt so real, with all the family issues and the school-stresses and the intricacies of newly formed, but super strong, friendships.

It’s about friends who teach each other to be brave.

 

thank you to Walker Books AUS for the ARC. Starworld is out July 1st!

GOODREADS | BOOK DEPOSITORY | AMAZON | BOOKTOPIA | Walker Books | ★★★★☆

Sam Jones and Zoe Miller have one thing in common: they both want an escape from reality. Loner Sam flies under the radar at school and walks on eggshells at home to manage her mom’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, wondering how she can ever leave to pursue her dream of studying aerospace engineering. Popular, people-pleasing Zoe puts up walls so no one can see her true self: the girl who was abandoned as an infant, whose adoptive mother has cancer, and whose disabled brother is being sent away to live in a facility. When an unexpected encounter results in the girls’ exchanging phone numbers, they forge a connection through text messages that expands into a private universe they call Starworld. In Starworld, they find hilarious adventures, kindness and understanding, and the magic of being seen for who they really are. But when Sam’s feelings for Zoe turn into something more, will the universe they’ve built survive the inevitable explosion?

 

| WHAT DO YOU THINK |

tell me another YA book you love that has a focus on friendship? is this one on your TBR? do you read a lot of contemporary?