writing

It’s time to answer some curious writer questions.

Mostly because I get to say curious and curiouser and remind myself that Lewis Carroll is pretty heckin’ famous despite making up his words because he couldn’t think of any existing ones. If that isn’t a big mood. That is like the origin of writers waving their hands vaguely and saying, “Can you pass me the thingie thing,” because wording on the paper is easier than wording with the mouth.

Anyway.

I am here to answer some QUESTIONS (that I pretty much stole) because I really love answering questions! I also love how writers can be so different with their processes and styles and reasons-for-writing — it’s most fascinating to discuss.

I’m always curious about other writers, so here let me just answer…

I got these questions from @rebeccarmix (who is fantastic on twitter you should follow her!!) from a thread here and am turning them into a blog post instead of a tweet thread because LET ME RAMBLE ON AND ON. So if you want to grab these questions for your blog, make sure to link back to Rebecca!)

Otherwise it’s nearly NaNoWriMo…so hey! Let’s talk writing!

OMAGHAOGH IT’S NEARLY NANO.

what are your favourite kinds of scenes to write? why?

Oh, hands down, it’s the banter scenes. I absolutely love them. Although the true irony is I put a lot of effort into making my banter sound, well…effortless. When it flows though, I AM MAGIC. I AM A MAGICAL CREATURE AVAST AND ADORE ME. (Usually it is a struggle that makes me cry tho so like, do not worry about my ego. It’s that smudge on the floor generally.)

I also really like the scenes were I absolutely break. everything. and. everyone.

(I am NICE.)

we’re all our own worst critics—so, what about your writing are you genuinely proud of? don’t hold back.

I’m genuinely proud of my prose! It can be a purple and flowery, and I use a lot of metaphors built from gossamer and eggshells and I freaking love it. I think, if you write the kind of books that you crave reading, then you’re on a good path.

I’m also super proud of MY DISASTER SONS. Ugh they are such ridiculous messes and make terrible decisions, but they feel like real people to me and I just??? I love writing my characters. I love it even more when my readers fall madly in love with them too.

what do you love about writing? what excites you? what makes all of this nightmare struggle worth it?

✧ i love love love writing outlines and developing threads of new stories and thinking, wOW DON’T MESS THIS UP CAIT, THIS COULD BE GREAT. (No pressure clearly.)
✧ publishing excites me. WILDLY!! seeing my book’s cover for the first time!! getting copy-edits back!!
✧ dude?! copy edits excite me !! I’m a real author!!
✧ I love finishing. Don’t get me wrong, I do love the writing process and losing myself in writing a scene, but that moment when you FINISH?! it is glorious.
✧ when you’re typing a line and you think, “Wow. Wow that was good.”
✧ the part where i explode into a thousand moths and vanish into the grim moors to avoid my problems

what’s something you’re not as strong in that you’d like to improve?

I need to get better at world building WOW do I just. I get so scared of info-dumping that I leave you with three breadcrumbs and a piece of cotton fluff and say, “Yes this my world, adore it.” Which is…not helpful.

I also want to get better at characters?! I tend to write many similar personalities (panics) and my idea of romance is often they kiss and then someone gets shot/falls off a cliff. You think I’m exaggerating but those are ACTUAL SCENES I have written. Because like what do you do with post-kiss emotions??? Burn them with fire???? hElp

we talk a lot about “big” writing dreams (movies! shows! bestseller list!) but do you have a smaller, quieter dream for you and your work? what is it?

✧ go into a library and see my book there !! (seeing it in a bookstore WAS UNREAL I’M STILL FLAILING)
✧ be blurbed by an author I admire (might be considered still a “big” dream though bUT I WANT THIS)
✧ have a shelf lined with books I have written
✧ hire someone to draw fanart for my books ajfdksald
✧ the cover of my book = on little edible cupcakes
✧ meet my agent/publisher in London someday!

are there things that pop up in your writing over and over again whether you like it or not? what are they?

The theme of “protecting” comes up a LOT. I find myself drawn to writing about characters who both need protecting and will do anything to protect another.

I also write a lot about violence, which is very ironic for someone who is a pacifist. But I like to explore things that make me angry or that make me want to do something to help. I write about how violence is also invisible bruises and how, just because you can’t see pain, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

I also write a LOT OF SLYTHERINS AND HUFFLEPUFFS OK. I CAN’T STOP. IT JUST HAPPENS. The stab and the soft. My children.

what are some tropes that you unapologetically adore writing? what are ones you never write bc you can’t stand them?

LOVE
✧ tiny feisty people who bite ankles
✧ nearly-happened-but-then-didn’t kisses
✧ monsters who want to be human
✧ sassy mouthed flirts who are secretly damaged inside 

HATE
✧ alpha males ughghg my boys will nEVER
✧ any sort of cure storyline ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
✧ they-break-up-they-get-together-they-break-up
✧ mean girls

if you could hop in a time machine and give baby-writer you one piece of advice, what would it be?

Write more books before you’re published and panic about meeting expectations!!

NEVER LOOK FOR REVIEWS. WAIT FOR NICE PEOPLE TO TAG YOU FOR GOOD ONES BUT (SMACKS HAND) GET OFF GOODREADS YOU LIMP LETTUCE

Just accept your 1st drafts are horrible. They are little night-demons. Let them be. They will settle down someday and wash their nasty little feral faces and learn manners, it’s ok. You are not a failure for needing to write a book 4 x to get it right.

what’s the last book/last books you read that made you go HOLY SHIT that’s some good writing!!?

oh!! OH!! I have read so many good ones this year! But ones that just made me sit with my jaw hanging while I whispered, “I want to learn to write like that,” are definitely:

do you have a book out? a book you’re working on? tell me about it!

You already know about my first son, A Thousand Perfect Notes, which has been out for FOUR MONTHS already! (And also just sold rights to be translated into both Czech and Slovak! And Polish!) And if you haven’t read it yet (OMG YOU SHOULD YOU LOVE ME) it’s about music and domestic violence, disaster siblings, the softest friendship, a whole lot of dubious cakes, many good dogs, and saving yourself.

And my second book, The Boy Who Steals Houses, is out in April (WHICH SEEMS SOON) and I swear the cover reveal is coming soon. Eventually. Maybe. (I have really no idea lmao.) But just know !! it is about homeless disaster brothers, a messy big family, autism, thievery, a very long string of bad decisions, lifesaving waffles, a prickly Slytherin girl and the softest honey Hufflepuff boy.

As for my current WIPs?!? It’s hard but I can’t really tell details much anymore. But I’m hoping my NaNo project will be something that tastes delightfully and wickedly of a story that’s Jumunji x Stranger Things.

ooh talk to me!! tell me what you’re working on? and what themes/tropes/topics do you find yourself writing again and again? have you read a book lately that’s inspired you?

One of the top questions I get asked now that my first book is out in the world is, “hEY BUT HOW DID YOU DO IT???”

And to this I say: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Okay I’m juuuust kidding. I do actually have about 13% of a clue what I’m doing. This is a staggering percentage and we are all in awe of it. (Hush. Act in awe.) I’ve basically been writing seriously for 9 years. I’ve been agented for 5 years and had a book published by Hachette UK for, ah….2 months. SO! I have a lot to learn still about being a published author. (I still rather feel like the child with muddy gumboots in a room full of Adult Authors.)

But I did get here. And I did do a lot of things that I truly think helped me get here. YES there’s a bit of luck and timing involved, but also freaking haaaard work. It’s easy just to say: “Oh look!! Cait has a big blog!! Now she has a book deal!! It came so easy for her!!”

Haha. Haaa hahahaha. No. I worked hard for YEARS so let’s see what I was doing, hmm?!

1. I WROTE MILLIONS OF WORDS AND OVER 30+ BOOKS

If you’ve followed my blog for a while, you’ll know I am a wild writer like this. In 2017 I wrote a million words (including outlines that went over 40K sometimes, and 7 novels…some of which were over 130K). That is a LOT OF WORDS. And truly, I needed them to learn how to write. Some might learn to write a lot faster than I did…but I needed SO much practise. All these horrible gnarly drafts (starting from age 15) got my to where I am = a published author.

Are these 30 drafts something you might read someday???

LMAO. They are not.

“So what was the point of writing them all??? Wouldn’t it have been better to write less books but write them better and work on them harder?”

Look this is a seriously good question. I did edit some and rewrite others. Actually the 16th draft I wrote was what became A Thousand Perfect Notes.

Personally, I needed to write a lot to learn. I wanted to experiment. I wanted to chase that glittery idea that probably wasn’t marketable. I had the time to do this and the energy, so like, why not?! I would NOT be writing how I am today if I didn’t have dozens of “practice novels” in the dust behind me. 

Most of these novels are: (A) HORRIBLE because I wrote them when I was, um, smol and deluded, (B) some I’ve actually repurposed bits and pieces into newer novels, (C) they gave me a chance to experiment with so many styles and genres! I learned my favourites and what I didn’t like to write about, and (D) I might still go back to some of them!!

Nothing is wasted. They all taught me.

This doesn’t mean YOU have to write 30 novels before you’re published. The point is: WRITE WRITE WRITE. Don’t just write one book, write more. Don’t except yourself to be excellent now. Practise. If you write and it’s not as good as it was in your head? WRITE SOME MORE. 

And heyyyyy = have fun with this, ok?! I have such fond memories of all these books and characters!

2. I LEARNED HOW TO REWRITE AND EDIT

This follows directly on from the last one but seriously: DO NOT JUST WRITE FIRST DRAFTS. You learn almost everything by rewriting and editing. Books aren’t writing, they’re rewriting. So if you’re dreaming of being an author and you’ve never learned to edit??? Goooo, fiend. GO. This is absolutely where you need to apply yourself.

3. I RESEARCHED PUBLISHING ALL. THE. TIME

People often think researching is sitting down for an hour and Googling around. WELL ACTUALLY. It’s something you kind of need to do…all the time. For years. I didn’t learn about agents and book deals and editing and submissions all at once. I learned it over several years with constant reading of author blogs, agent blogs, tweets, youtube vlogs and teaching sessions, articles, facebook groups, etc. etc. I just SUBMERSED myself in it as much as possible.

YES I asked real people questions…but mostly I learned by reading the information available online. There’s a lot. It’s hard to know where to start, but soon you click on one thing that leads to another and another and VOILA. You are gathering information. (You don’t have to do this ALL in one day!! So don’t be overwhelmed!)

PRO TIP: Don’t ask me “how do I get published” if you’ve never never researched for yourself. #siiiiigh (But I am VERY MUCH HERE to answer specific questions if you have them! And providing I can actually help!)

4. I LEARNED TO HUSH MY LITTLE SELF AND LISTEN

This is actually hard because you NEED to learn to listen and take on advice…but you also can’t listen too much. Like sometimes I absolutely freak out (STILL!!) because there’s so much to learn and know and remember and EVERYONE’S ADVICE CONTRADICTS. What can I write?? What can I not write?? Do you want this type of agent? Should you pitch? Query? Hire an editor? Get sensitivity readers? What country should you aim for? Should your debut be a series or standalone? Is your style marketable? If you get anxious about all of this, will you turn into a lizard? DoES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOINGGGGGGG.

Anyway. It’s a trip to figure all that out.

But it’s still important to: 

• Listen to what agents tell you (nope you are NOT the exception to a rule)
• Listen to what readers are saying (because they will point out things you didn’t think about, especially regarding content if you’re writing something not directly in your experience)
• Listen to what your writing buddies are saying (and GET SOME if you don’t have any! Seriously you can’t pick up all the problems with your novel yourself. There are always things that get left in your head and don’t make it to paper like they should. FEED BACK IS 100% THE BEST THING. Don’t be scared of it. Don’t hate it.)
• Listen to the trees. Most people say “why would you do that” but seriously you can say it’s important to sit in a forest and listen to the trees but in reality you can just take a nap. You deserve a nap. We all deserve a nap.

5. I READ UNTIL MY EYEBALLS FELL OUT

I can’t even saaaaay how important reading is! These are your BEST TEACHERS. If you ever get stuck with writing (“how the heck do I write an action scene?!”) read back through like 5 or so of your favourite books’ action scenes. ANALYSE them. You can do this for any type of scene! Dialogue. Characterisation. Description. Let books TEACH YOU.

You also need to read so you know (a) what’s overdone or trending or popular or avoided (probably for good reasons!), (b) what’s happening amongst your bookish peers, and (c) because it stops you turning into a goblin who eats children at night.

Also 10/10 you can buy books for “work now”. This is perfect. Nothing can go wrong.

what’s the best writing advice you’ve been given?! and do you prefer 1st drafts or doing rewrites/edits??

Yes, many writers struggle with mental illness. And noooo it’s not charming or helpful for our work.

Writers are often stereotyped to be, at the very least, depressed. And (I’m not kidding) there are people who openly say artists HAVE to be mentally ill to create good art. And do you want to know what I think?? mY FULL OPINION IS: NO.

Writing while being mentally ill is frikkin’ hard. It’s not a lot of fun and often it makes us quit, or lose opportunities, or not enjoy something we truly love because it’s such a fight to keep it up. You need support. You don’t need to be stigmatised or told you’re “broken” or told your work is more valuable if you’re struggling or sick.

I have been diagnosed with social/general anxiety and depression. I don’t say much about it online, but sometimes I want to mention it, because it’s helpful to know you’re not alone. We writers tend to look at other’s work and think, “Yeah they have it together and I never will.” Haha h HAH AH HAHA. No, my friend. I am just a constant silent scream.

So SHOUT OUT TO YOU. I think you’re doing great. And if I may share some things that have helped me…

MAKE VISUAL REMINDERS OF THE GOOD THINGS.

For me personally, my brain likes to DELETE everything good that ever happens. This sucks, but I don’t think it’s fully our fault. So I collect good things. Nice comments about my work. Tweets of people flailing! A really super epic thing my agent said. A beta reader’s comment.

Print them. Stick them to your wall. Put them in a folder on your laptop. DO IT.

This is not narcissistic. And I was about to say “this is not pride”…but pfffffffffft. To heck with that. BE PROUD.

Recently I had an excruciating round of edits. I ended up with 7 pages of edit notes and this insurmountable dread that I couldn’t do this. I must’ve failed so so bad for my book to need this much work, right??? Well, for starters: no, brain! No! Making something better doesn’t always mean the last version was trash. But that aside, what I did was: I picked out the comments on my edits that were super encouraging and I ENLARGED THEM, PRINTED THEM, PUT THEM ON MY WALL.

I have a note from my agent that says “Your writing is brilliant here” —> That is the comment I look at when I’m feeling like a pile of stale crumbs.

PACE YOURSELF WHEN IT COMES TO CRITIQUES.

Um, yeah, you still need critiques. You are not going to be a great writer until you get them. (TRUST ME.) Now you already know your brain is going to buckle when you get told what sucks, so pace yourself! Actually prep your brain with coping mechanisms!

Keep these in mind:

☆ don’t get TOO many opinions all at once
☆ you will overwhelm yourself and then turn into a potato and fall into a muddy paddock and ne’er return
☆ 2-3 critique partners/betas is a good idea (I like to have 1 who’ll fangirl + 1 who’ll be tough….balance!)
☆ do not work on critiques the second you get them back!! leave it a few days, a few weeks! mull on them!
☆ be teachable, because you seriously didn’t get it perfect on the first try
☆ NO ONE GETS IT PERFECT. YOU’RE NOT A FAILURE
☆ look at critiques as an opportunity to spend more time with your favourite characters
☆ eat between 2 or 9 cakes

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS.

While I do love the #ownvoices movement, I think it brings this expectation to write your own experiences. You do not have to if you don’t want to. There is a need for your voice, your story, your experience on the topic! Of course! But you are actually free as an artist to art about whatever you heckin’ want.

I almost always write anxious characters. But the first time I decided to address anxiety with a label and treatment? My 27th writing project.

Writing your experiences can be (a) triggering and send you backwards, (b) exhausting, and (c) a lot of pressure. So you don’t owe anyone your experience, but do share it if you want to!

WRITING IS HARD FOR EVERYONE.

I have seen people say “No one will publish me because I have X illness.” And look…there are awful agents out there and narrow-minded publishers. Good writing and good authors get snubbed because they’re “too different”. Not denying. It’s not fair and it’s not right either.

But also? Writing is hard for everyone. I mean really hard. I’ve thought of my atypical brain as a reason I haven’t gotten an opportunity. (My first book didn’t sell, peoples. It got thoroughly trunked. A Thousand Perfect Notes came after.) But I do think…more often than not…it’s things like timing and us needing to get better at writing.

There’s a difference between “no one gets my writing” and “my writing needs to get better.”

The point is: when your brain says “this is too hard because of who we are” = your reply is “nO IT’S NOT. I GOT THIS.”

DON’T FOLLOW SOMEONE ELSE’S SCHEDULE.

There is always that feeling that you have to do “THIS AND THIS AND THEN THIS” to be a writer. I can thoroughly attest that you don’t. Don’t let someone tell you that you have to write every day or use this-and-this writing program or plot with the snowflake-method, etc. etc. Try a ton of methods and axe what you hate.

Do you need to write 500 words and lie down? DO IT. Do you need to write 200 words at a time? THAT’S FINE! Does it take you a year to finish a draft? AT LEAST YOU FINISHED IT!

There are so many ways to get to your goal even if you have to climb the mountain with your teeth. *

* SHOUT OUT TO SUNNY BAUDELAIRE.

DON’T QUIT. TAKE A BREAK.

I see so many writers say “I can’t do this anymore I quit.” When what they really need is actually a break. A decent break. I have been one of these writers, don’t worry! I stopped writing for about 6 months. Then I went back because ohhhh look at that, Smol-Youthful-Author-Cait??? YOU NEEDED A BREAK.

So before you get to “I quit”, try:

☆ taking a break!
☆ don’t write or think about writing for at least a month
☆ refill your creative tank
☆ if you need time off??? you take it. you don’t have to do everything all at once
☆ what if you ate a lot of waffles. I’m not saying it’s the cure but I’m not saying it isn’t…
☆  NO ONE HAS TO WORK AT 500% ALL THE TIME
☆ if you still “need” to be working or you panic (I get that!) then try doing something else: plot a new fun story, listen to some different music, write “bloopers” into your story (these are fun!!) or toootally switch up your writing routine
☆ get someone to flail over your characters. 10/10 this helps
☆ raise a kraken as your son

THE BEST WAYS TO GET BETTER ARE BY READING AND WRITING.

This is my #1 advice for any writer at any time. Write tons of books. It doesn’t matter if some are hellishly ugly. Write more and more. You get better by practising. I know this feels like an insurmountable request at times (mental illness often comes with feeling so exhausted from just trying to live) so remember no one is asking you to write a million words today. Or even tomorrow.

But don’t throw it because it’s not working. EVERY writer needs to practise.

SHOUT THESE AT YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN’T DO THIS

☆ you don’t have to write EXACTLY LIKE YOUR FAVOURITE AUTHOR to be considered “good”
☆ just because it’s not good now, doesn’t mean it won’t ever be
☆ yes your brain will self-sabotage and yes you might be physically incapable of writing for a while…but you can still do this. Even if it’s not right this minute.
☆ it actually doesn’t matter how long it takes you to achieve your goal
☆ holding your own book is 5000000% better than you even can imagine. THINK ABOUT THAT. YOU CAN GET TO THIS.
☆ the internet shows you a lot of success stories but I guarantee those authors bled and wept too
☆ a ton of your favourite authors are also struggle with mental health! For my favourites authors (and these ones are open about it online) I know that VE Schwab and Katrina Leno have anxiety, Maggie Stiefvater and Adam Silvera and John Green have OCD, and Patrick Ness has depression/anxiety.
☆ remember to love writing (I know that’s hard!!) but sometimes it’s actually the perfect escape from your own spiralling thinking to some place where you can control the adventure
☆ think of all the READERS’ TEARS YOU’RE GONNA DRINK
☆ your story IS important!! no one can tell it like you can!!
☆ you got this because you’re kind of made of magic

don’t feel pressured to share your mental health struggles if you don’t want to! but if you do…feel free to add your tips in the comments! (please keep this WRITING orientated and not about curing/fixing mental illness) what keeps you writing? do you write about your mental illness or do you prefer not to?

A wonderful thing about writing is how we love and rant about it all the time, usually in the same breath.

I do this about types of sandwiches too. It’s honestly very soothing to make favourite vs least favourite lists for just about anything. Although honestly, you could threaten to toss me into a black hole in space and I still would not eat grated soggy carrot on a sandwich. Do I look like a monster with no standards.

Now since I have a book coming out (hOW iS it onLY 13 MOrE DayS) I thought it’d be prudent to talk about what I LOVE vs DISLIKE about the author life! This gives you a great opportunity to get to know more of my utterly professional writing life and not get worried that I wrote my book out of crumbs and crayons while shrieking back at the whispers in the trees.

Haha, I did not. Don’t regret your preorders. Please. I love you.

☆ THAT BRILLIANT BURST OF INSPIRATION

Okay so “brilliant” might be my humble * side coming out, but I can’t even describe the satisfaction that comes when you smack through a plot problem or just get that sliver of an idea that’ll tie two pieces of plot together. And my feelings are just: !!!!!! Seriously, if exclamation marks were a feeling, IT’D BE ME. Those moments are what makes me fall sparkly-eyed in love with writing.

* LMAO WHAT IS THAT. DO I HAVE ONE.

☆ REREADING YOUR WORK AND ACTUAL LIKING IT

It took me yeeeears to get there, but HEY. I have arrived. First drafts are still dubious but I actually genuinely love my work and this is so satisfying.

☆ WHEN YOUR HUMOUR IS ACTUALLY FUNNY

I swear writing humour is like having someone stand 12ft away away and throw an egg in your mouth. IT’S SO HARD TO MAKE IT WORK. Like: am I sleep deprived or is this brilliant wit??? And half the time my book’s humour is like I just wrote the blooper reel into the book. (I may or may not have a scene in A Thousand Perfect Notes where a “big secret” is revealed and instead of kindness, the love interest just laughs and laughs and laughs. So supportive. Much kind.) But when you know you got that scene’s humour right?? BREAK OUT THE CAKE FOR I AM SKILLZ.

☆ WRITING EASTER EGGS

Whyyy did no one never mention how fun this is!?? My book’s are actual minefields of references, sometimes to fandoms or things I like or a meme (or even my blogggg!). But the best is when I can reference my own books. I knoooow. Small things amuse small minds but I get such pleasure out of this.

Although lowkey disappointed that “writing easter eggs” does not involve, in fact, any chocolate eggs. Sometimes the world fails us in the most horrible ways.

☆ WRITING HIGHLY-STRUNG EMOTIONAL SCENES

I insert a deviously malicious smiley face here. HA. I love writing those moments where everything and everyone is just breaking, and maybe nearly-crying or fighting emotions or losing their mind over something terrible happening. THIS IS MY MOMENT. I also actually do a lot of unique-formatting with my words too. This pleases me.

THIS IS FROM A WORK-IN-PROGRESS.

☆ BEGINNINGS

Bring me the BEGINNING this is where I thrive! Or, well, where I cry marginally less. OK actually in the last fantasy book I wrote I wanted to stab my book’s opening. But usually the beginnings are my favourite because there’s lots of banter and not everyone is DEAD YET.

☆ WHEN SOMEONE ELSE LOVES YOUR BOOK.

THIS GOES WITHOUT SAYING. BUT IT IS THE FREAKING BEST THING IN THE WORLD AND I CAN’T EVEN. Also making people cry? Right up there too.

Um, yeah, I am a nice person. I return my library books on time, I pet my dog, I often vacuum the whole house for my family. And I thrive on the dark glory of making people cry when reading my books. I don’t know what else to tell you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

☆ HOLDING YOUR BOOK AND KNOWING YOU NEVER HAVE TO READ IT AGAIN.

Hah haha hahha. I’m so sorry. But it is such a beautiful moment…like omg look at YOUR SON. It’s all grown up and wearing clothes a cover now and has hopefully no typos and is ready to trot off into the world and and offend someone probably be loved by all.

I LOVE HOLDING MY BOOK. LOVE IT.

☆ WAITING…AND WAITING…AAAAND WAITING

The road to being an author is 67% waiting and thinking about cheesecake. Let no one tell you differently. This has me shrieking constantly and I’m pretty sure they hear me in Peru and everyone there is just crossing fingers and hoping I pass out at some point to give them a break. BUT I SWEAR, WAITING NEVER GETS EASIER.

☆ THE FIRST TIME YOU LET YOUR NEW BABY PROJECT OUT INTO THE WORLD FOR HUMAN EYE CONSUMPTION.

Ughhh I swear this is why I procrastinate so much. It’s that moment when you have to go: “OK someone else is going to read my book for the first time and prOBABLY HATE IT and I will die a quiet slow death in the mountains with only a goat and a square of cheese to last out my final hours before the bog mires take me.”

I mean, that’s literally never happened. But my brain assures me the next time will be it.

☆ COPY EDITING

Because it’s hard!! By this point I’ve read my book 500 times and I want to put in a pot with a few stones and when the stones are soft, that’s when I feel like looking at my manuscript again. (lol lol what a roast…what a pot roast.) (YEAH OK I’LL STOP NOW.) But I also am just terrified of typos getting through. I’m a little dyslexic so spelling is…haha. What is that.

☆ FINISHING A PROJECT AND ENTERING THE VOID

I need to be working!! Always !! working !! And if I finish a project with nothing immediately to move onto…

This is me 1000% in gif format.

“Take a break!” they say. “It’ll recharge you they say!” WELL I’D RATHER PANIC, THANKS. I like to always be stewing on something, so if I’m in a void where I’m either (a) blocked, or (b) super blocked, or (c) bLocKEd and WaiTING and bLOCKED = then expect me to just stand there shrieking. Forever.

☆ WORRY THAT MY CHARACTERS OR IDEAS ARE TOO SIMILAR

Nothing’s more fun than self-plagiarising. OF COURSE. And I’ve written thirty-drafts of novels so it’s up to the point where I am like, “IS THIS NEW GENIUS OR STOLEN GENIUS FROM ANOTHER OF MY BOOKS.” Mostly I just shriek and eat ice cream. There is no cure. There is only dOOM.

☆ NEGATIVE REVIEWS

I mean. Obviously. And look I learned my lesson! I read a bunch of negative reviews about two months ago and I have not looked at ANY reviews since. (Except for some super lovely ones people sent me.) Although lowkey d y i n g that I’ve been tagged in some negative reviews. Like I do not expect everyone to love my book, but reviews aren’t for the author so leeeeeave me out of it.

☆ ALL THE GENERAL HARD STUFF

Like when you have to rewrite THE WHOLE BOOK. Or you’re absolutely blocked on solving a problem. Or you’re sick of your book. Or if you read super good books by other authors and despair of ever being good enough. Rejection! Forgetting how to use words! Spilling crumbs over your laptop! Chewing through a brick wall! Forgetting your characters’ names! nOT BEING SURE WHAT YOUR BOOK IS ABOUT!

BEING TOLD YOU ONLY GOT A BOOK DEAL BECAUSE YOU HAVE A LOT OF FOLLOWERS. (This is so so unfair lol lol.)

All that stuff.

So fun. Much hard. It makes me all shriek.

And yet somehow it doesn’t outweigh the good stuff?! It absolutely just does not. As hard as writing is (and it is hard and I’ve put absolutely thousands of hours into it), it is still my favourite thing and I will be an unashamed sap here and just say:

i really love the magic of telling stories and i can never never stop

tell me YOUR best vs worst parts about writing?! do you struggle with the beginnings, middles, or ends the most? are you constantly thinking up ideas or can you take breaks??