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C.G. @ Paper Fury

Into The Heartless Wood by Joanna Ruth Meyer – Soft Boys & Monster Tree Girls

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You know the books that just come at the perfect time for you?

This was one for me!! It is such a lovely and perfect mix of whimsical and cozy, but also packed tight with inner darkness and all things monstrous and bloody. I truly love books about monster girls and soft boys 😩👌🏻 and this did it perfectly. It also felt like a fairytale, both in style and in plot. I love love how the story unravelled. It begins with the softness of a brother caring for his baby  sister and baking bread and mapping the stars — against the backdrop of a vicious wood that kills all who enters with the song of tree sirens who hunt souls.

Owen was precious. The ultimate softest of soft boys, and he is 17 and spends his day caring for his 2-year-old wild little sister, baking bread and tending the garden, playing cello and then at night mapping the stars with his father. He gives people chances and he’s vulnerable, but also a little awkward. And it broke me!! when the book!!! decided to harden him up. He actually doesn’t have a whole lot of direction to start, and I think I appreciated that? He was content — and then the world stepped in to ruin his life. (Owen and I both say thanks for that 🤨)

And then there is Seren! She is a tree siren, created by her mother (witch of the wood) to kill people and gather their souls. When she meets Owen (by, you know, nearly killing him) it awakens this craving to connect with her humanity. She hates that she’s been created to be a monster. But she’s powerless against her mother’s ultimate power. I loved the contrast of their purposes in life — but also how, under the layers, they really are similar people.

Their collision is violent and then gentle, it’s tentative, then lovely. It really is a gentle romance and I loved how it blossomed — and also suffered.

Other things I loved:

  • complex villains
  • the contrast of gentle people in absolutely brutal situations
  • it was dark but not written in a gory way? more fairytale style the entire time
  • both Seren and Owen never never quitting 🥺 despite the brutality they face
  • the creepy forest and the darkness of the trees! I LOVED how sentient it became.
  • the ending is to make us 😙👌🏻suffer beautifully

I’m so glad I read this one and it really fit my heart just right.

It’s a slower paced fantasy, caught up in sensory details and lovely writing (a bit repetitious at times was my only drawback). It’s both whimsical and lovely, and packed with heartache and war and bloodshed. It contrasts loveliness and violence in a thoughtful way and the ending was so perfect.

(Side note: Audiobook was amazing too! Loved the narrators.)

The forest is a dangerous place, where siren song lures men and women to their deaths. For centuries, a witch has harvested souls to feed the heartless tree, using its power to grow her domain.
When Owen Merrick is lured into the witch’s wood, one of her tree-siren daughters, Seren, saves his life instead of ending it. Every night, he climbs over the garden wall to see her, and every night her longing to become human deepens. But a shift in the stars foretells a dangerous curse, and Seren’s quest to become human will lead them into an ancient war raging between the witch and the king who is trying to stop her.

Goodreads | Book Depository | Booktopia | Blackwell’s

Ghost Wood Song by Erica Waters — Haunted Music, Messed Up Families, & Murder Mysteries!

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This is exactly the kind of book I’d been craving!

I’m currently on a creepy-forest-and-low-key-horror reading kick lately, and I had preordered this ages ago (fun story 😂it took like 4 months to arrive despite preordering) so I was like NOW IS THE TIME. I ended up listening to the audiobook and it was so fantastically narrated. Sometimes heavy Southern accents are hard for me (an Australian) to understand, but this worked out! I absolutely sank into the story and it entirely stole my heart.

It’s so deeply about grief. I think the audiobook narrator enhanced this but…my heart broke several times over. Generational grief, suffering, self-torture, and secrets. It’s about a family whose pain runs layers deep, but their avoidance of it just poisons themselves. I kind of love books about dysfunctional families and their secrets, so this captivated me.

Shady Grove’s family falls apart when her step-father is murdered and her brother, Jesse, is jailed for it. She’s not even over her father’s death and his legacy of playing a magic fiddle that can raise ghosts haunts her. She wants the fiddle back. Even more so now, because she needs it to figure out who really killed her step-father so she can get her brother out of jail. She’s always winced at being seen as “white trailer trash” but her family is such a mess. Reclusive aunt. Dead father. Haunted ex-family home. Magic in their bones. Angry brother. A Shadow Man that haunts her sleep. I loved her absolute determination, but also her softness. She is a vulnerable girl keeping herself together through sheer grit. Music owns her soul — but not always in healthy ways.

THINGS I LOVED

  • The music aspect! The haunted fiddle is amazing and creepy and all-consuming. Althooooough…Shady does start a bluegrass band with her friends and I 💀 cannot deal with country music. I will look passed this. 😪
  • Big friend groups! It actually deals with toxic friendships (I do think Sarah was thoroughly toxic to Shady).
  • Shady is bisexual!! She has a crush on Sarah (who is closed off and cold to her) and ends up also crushing on Cedar (who is a soft but smug cowboy and a real sweetheart).
  • JESSEEEEEE. Okay to be absolutely honest, he’s my favourite character. He doesn’t have a lot of page-time, but he is obviously a huge catalyst to the story and the driving force behind Shady’s actions. His backstory BROKE me when it all comes out. He’s angry and stuffed with survivor’s guilt and he’s absolutely thoroughly alone 🥺I am in pieces for Jesse and this kid really deserves a hug. When he broke down crying near the end just….me too, son. (The way Shady was angry at him…no 😭)
  • It was so emotional and it truly made me FEEL that.
  • Loved that it had creepy magic and superstition but it was still rooted in our world. It’s not so much set IN a forest, but there’s a woods that plays a good part.
  • Also loved little toddler Honey 🥺👌🏻

It’s a highly emotional story with a riveting murder mystery and ghosts with sharp teeth and anguished tears. It’s full of grief, but also healing. I totally loved the characters and I wanted nothing more than for Shady to face her past and find a way to face the future.  

If I could have a fiddle made of Daddy’s bones, I’d play it. I’d learn all the secrets he kept.
Shady Grove inherited her father’s ability to call ghosts from the grave with his fiddle, but she also knows the fiddle’s tunes bring nothing but trouble and darkness.
But when her brother is accused of murder, she can’t let the dead keep their secrets.
In order to clear his name, she’s going to have to make those ghosts sing.
Family secrets, a gorgeously resonant LGBTQ love triangle, and just the right amount of creepiness make this young adult debut a haunting and hopeful story about facing everything that haunts us in the dark.

Goodreads | Book Depository | Booktopia | Blackwell’s

Please Don’t Hug Me by Kay Kerr – The Ownvoices Autism Book I’ve Been Craving!

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The way this book was so real and raw and beautiful!!

It is exceptional. I am struggling with words for how much it means to me. It’s the kind of book you pick up when you want to see autism truthfully captured on page, the hard parts but also not turning it into a tragedy to be fixed. Erin is ERIN and, as Rudy says, she’s limited edition. She should never want to change that. This is the kind of #ownvoices story I wish more people could read so they’d understand autism.

I’m just tired of hearing all the ways I’m getting stuff wrong. I’m always ‘miscommunicating’ or ‘misunderstanding’ or ‘overreacting’ or ‘underreacting’. Maybe other people should put as much consideration into their communications with me as I do with them. It’s all I freaking think about sometimes. Did I say the wrong thing? Did I misread the situation? Should I have asked that person more about the thing they are upset about, or do they not want to talk? Is sharing my experience of a similar thing helpful or making it all about me? It’s exhausting. I am exhausted.

The way it talked about autism burnout, how we lose sense of self due to masking so hard, how we are trained to cater for the neurotypical world while they don’t cater for us. The longing to belong, but constantly standing on the outside looking in. The moment when Erin describes that watching social situations is like seeing them through a glass wall — like YES.

It’s told in letters, and it’s also a story of dysfunctional families, grief, finishing school, and the future.
It’s very coming-of-age. Erin’s navigating some intense things, but in a roundabout and also suppressed way, so we as the reader don’t know all that’s happening up front. I do love letter formats! I missed that it didn’t have much dialogue (Erin is writing to her older brother, Rudy) but the stream-of-consciousness style was perfect for the story.

It had so many neurodiverse teen feels. Erin is scared and dreading Schoolies (this is such an Aussie thing omg) and figuring out her future. There’s friendships deteriorating and confusing feels about romance. It’s definitely a slice of life sort of story, and I loved that about it. My heart also got solidly hit, and it’s impossible to leave without feeling emotional.

This story is introspective, utterly realistic, and full of heart.
It’s everything I hoped it would be. And now I want a donut and NOT a hug and I love that Erin would understand.

I’ve got rocks in my stomach and I’m only half-tuned in all the time. Things seem to be happening behind a pan of glass, so I can see them but I can’t reach out and touch them.

A funny-serious own-voices story about what happens when you stop trying to be the person other people expect you to be and give yourself a go.
Erin is looking forward to Schoolies, at least she thinks she is. But things are not going to plan. Life is getting messy, and for Erin, who is autistic, that’s a big problem. She’s lost her job at Surf Zone after an incident that clearly was not her fault. Her driving test went badly even though she followed the instructions perfectly. Her boyfriend is not turning out to be the romantic type. And she’s missing her brother, Rudy, who left almost a year ago.
But now that she’s writing letters to him, some things are beginning to make just a tiny bit of sense. 

goodreads | book depository | booktopia

How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories by Holly Black (#3.5) — Illustrated, Whimsical Perfection

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Being back in Holly Black’s Cruel Prince world was absolutely everything I needed right now.

I’ve always said I craved Cardan’s perspective for this series. We get slivers of his backstory, his making, so slowly that we are left gloriously starved for it. So being gifted a novella purely from his perspective? A TREAT. We thank the faerie queen so deeply. 😭

What To Expect…
This is a novella (I always wish novellas were longer 😪) and it’s several stories told by Cardan ranging from when he is small, right up till post-Queen of Nothing timeline. So no, don’t read this before The Cruel Prince trilogy! It’s also illustrated and must admit the art is just gorgeously stunning (done by Rovina Cai). They are just that little bit ethereal and whimsical and smoky and exactly how I pictured both Cardan and Jude. From their faces to their body language.

“Why didn’t you hate everyone?” he asks. “Everyone, all the time.”
“I hated you,” Jude reassures him, bringing her mouth to his.

Do you ever just read something and sigh because it’s so perfect…
This was exactly what I wanted (EXCEPT I NEED MORE) and had those snippets of Cardan in our world (him trying to interact with mortals is hilarious 😂) to some of his childhood backstory. More insight to how he became the feral, toothy beautiful little villain he was so proud to be…until he wasn’t proud. Until it wasn’t enough and he wanted more. It also had all the lines that made me soft-happy-sigh.

And Cardan was just in PEAK CARDAN MODE, so dramatic and very self-satisfied at how beautiful he is 😌 But also glimpses into his lonesome life and jealousy longing for love.

It also is told in a thoroughly whimsical style. It feels like the trilogy’s writing plus a fairy tale all in its own.

“It is a mere nothing. No need for dramatics.”
“I am nothing,” Cardan said, “if not dramatic.”

I throughly loved this…
Whimsical and lovely, full of anger and sharp edges. Just that little bit of indulgent “what happened after” feels that makes my  reader/fan heart so happy and satisfied. I’m so glad it exists. Gorgeous inside and out.

An illustrated addition to the New York Times bestselling Folk of Air trilogy, that started with The Cruel Prince, from award-winning author Holly Black.
An irresistible return to the captivating world of Elfhame.
Once upon a time, there was a boy with a wicked tongue.
Before he was a cruel prince or a wicked king, he was a faerie child with a heart of stone . #1 New York Times bestselling author, Holly Black reveals a deeper look into the dramatic life of Elfhame’s enigmatic high king, Cardan. This tale includes delicious details of life before The Cruel Prince, an adventure beyond The Queen of Nothing, and familiar moments from The Folk of the Air trilogy, told wholly from Cardan’s perspective.
This new installment in the Folk of the Air series is a return to the heart-racing romance, danger, humor, and drama that enchanted readers everywhere. Each chapter is paired with lavish and luminous full-color art, making this the perfect collector’s item to be enjoyed by both new audiences and old.

goodreads | publisher | book depository | booktopia

thank you to the publisher for the free copy

Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger [Lipan Apache Magical Realism of Ghosts, Magic And Murder]

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You know when you read a blurb and think, “Oh this is going to be the best”…and then IT IS!!

I just had that moment. I’m very pleased. Elatsoe is such a brilliant delight of a book, that is both whimsical and lovely, and also has darkness and thoughtful themes to untangle. It has #ownvoices Lipan Apache rep and Ellie is also asexual (the book doesn’t talk about being aromantic but seems likely too!). My little ace heart just leaped for joy at just having casual ace rep on page. The book is full of magic and ghosts and a super sweet (ghost) dog and pistachio ice cream and deep family love and ties and…oh a murder mystery to solve.

It has it ALL.

PS. I did edit the cover into my photo as I read an eARC!

let’s tell a story of magic

I really loved the emphasis on storytelling throughout the pages. The book is packed with love for indigenous traditions, and a lot of Ellie’s life lessons come in the form of stories from her parents. Ellie is also a huge fan of her Six Great Grandma, who had the same power as Ellie: the ability to ask ghosts of animals to return from the afterlife. This magic is super fascinating (and Ellie sort of toes the line between using it safely and not). Ellie’s companion the whole way through is her little ghost dog Kirby, who died of old age but she brought him back so she’d never have to miss him. 🥺💛💛 My heart just got soft and flopped all over the place.

The world is also our world but…not. It’s this slightly alternate reality where there’s magic and vampires and ghosts and all sorts of mythology. Ellie’s still dealing with racism and white men who think they’re better than everyone else. But there’s dark magical secrets and mysteries to unravel. And sometimes Ellie sort of wakens a thousand year old trillobite too. Just everyday things you know!! This is such deft and beautifully crafted magical realism. I loved the world.

what goes down

So the premise is that Ellie’s cousin dies unexpectedly, but the facts about his “car accident” don’t add up, and Ellie knows it’s foul play. She ends up investigating this odd little town where people don’t stop staring at strangers, and when her cousin’s ghost names his murderer in a dream, Ellie will stop at nothing to figure out WHAT happened. The have the culprit, but not the why or how.

It did get creepy in one stage and I was reading at night and was just sort of shivering. The writing is excellent like that. Total fan. Freak me out, little book, I approve.

the  characters are everything!

So Ellie is amazing!! She has such a dry, wry voice and humour, and she’s so sure of herself. She’s confident about being ace and she cracks jokes about it. Her family is her anchor, and she’s definitely a little anxious too.  There’s no romance! Her best friend is Jay who is, look I’m going to say it, a himbo. 😂 He is a tall blonde cheerleader dumbass and he’s just lovely?! The whole way through he is LOVELY. Supportive of Ellie and there to help her look into the mystery of her cousin’s murder. Ellie’s family is amazing (she loves her parents!! talks to her parents!!) and there’s such a motley of side characters who are interesting and strange and dynamic. And Kirby is THE BEST GHOST  DOG I WILL CRY tHIS ALWAYS.

So you know what?! Just read this.

It’s brilliant. The whole world felt fresh and different, catching my attention from the first page with its engaging writing and characters I just want to adore forever. (There are also little illustrations!!) It has heart-aching moments, and also funny humorous parts. The BEST combination.

Thanks Levine Querido Publishing for the eARC! Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger came out in August 25, 2020.

Imagine an America very similar to our own. It’s got homework, best friends, and pistachio ice cream.
There are some differences. This America been shaped dramatically by the magic, monsters, knowledge, and legends of its peoples, those Indigenous and those not. Some of these forces are charmingly everyday, like the ability to make an orb of light appear or travel across the world through rings of fungi. But other forces are less charming and should never see the light of day.
Elatsoe lives in this slightly stranger America. She can raise the ghosts of dead animals, a skill passed down through generations of her Lipan Apache family. Her beloved cousin has just been murdered, in a town that wants no prying eyes. But she is going to do more than pry. The picture-perfect facade of Willowbee masks gruesome secrets, and she will rely on her wits, skills, and friends to tear off the mask and protect her family.

Goodreads | Book Depository | Amazon | Publisher

would you actually like to talk to ghosts or is that a pass? 👀and is this on your TBR, because it should be!!

 

Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko [Best YA Fantasy of 2020!!! Can I say?!]

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This book is just a RAY of excellence.

….And I will not apologise for using a completely appropriate title pun just now 😌 I just absolutely adored every page of Raybearer. (Well I listened to the audiobook, which was also incredible and I can’t recommend enough!!) It felt fresh and powerful, creative but also gives that comfort of a good sprawling fantasy world that you can just lose yourself in.

I suspect this will be the best YA fantasy I’ll read this year and I am here, in awe.

the characters were everything

This is generally what sells a book for me, and oh I love the cast of Raybearer so much. Tarisai is cunning and clever, soft and vulnerable. She just wants a family and to be loveeeeed. Her voice is spectacular; she has the kind of narration that makes every scene a delight to be in. She also has a very specific gift: she can see the memories of a person or object just by touching them. She can also erase or dull memories, and she actually uses this for good to take away her childhood friends’ bad dreams. 🥺

The side characters also stole my heart too. I loved Dayo (the prince) and his and Tarisai’s really tight friendship. Then there’s Kirah who was practical and clever but also that mothering friend. And Sanjeet! The one who is too tol, too intimidating…but secretly an utter marshmallow. (Also can we take a second of deep appreciation that a YA book exists where the first boy Tarisai meets isn’t the love interest 😂👌🏻 thank you.)

The complexities of the villains (are they villains 👀) were also thoroughly captivating. I also loved the coming-of-age bent to this. The prince and his Eleven are still only growing up, so while they learn politics, the adults are still busy controlling the world. Their backstory was both layered and dark and fascinating too.

This is also #ownvoices Black fantasy and all the characters (I think!) are Black too!

let’s talk about the plot

The world is so deliciously complex and huge, it had so many layers. It felt REAL. Vast and unmappable. You don’t have to remember or understand every people group or country, because it reminds you of who is who until you fall into the rhythm of the story. I genuinely appreciate a complex world and history! The backstory is amazing too. Like you could easily want a prequel following The Lady’s life?! (Or am I just craving more from this author…also that.)

The story starts when Tarisai is young: it follows her growing up under tutors and being taught to be terrifically smart. But all she wants is the love and affection of her distant mother, known only as The Lady. At 12 years old, Tarisai is taken to the palace to join the contest to become one of the prince’s sacred 11. This is how the kingdom is ruled: the king (the Raybearer) has a council of 11 and they are all completely interwoven and close and can talk through their minds and all linked by deep deep love.

Of course there are SO many twists and backstories and I’m not even going to go into it too deeply because just read it!!!! But least to say Tarisai gets chosen by the prince and the world unravels and changes from there.

It isn’t action packed and fast, which isn’t a downside, just something to know!

list of other things I loved

  • there is an ace side character!!
  • it talks intricately about culture, what the loss of it means, how controlling people so often backfires
  • it has SO MUCH FOUND FAMILY LOVE
  • friends to lovers 🥰
  • gorgeous writing on every page
  • also very morally grey 👀👌🏻
  • the ending has phenomenal twists
  • magic! so many kinds with so many impacts

Raybearer really captured my heart and imagination, and I can’t properly articulate just how exquisite this story is. It was creative and nuanced, beautiful and layered. I’m still thinking about it days later and aching with need for the sequel — because w o w that ending has left me both whole and wrecked. I love.

Thanks Netgalley, Blackstone and AMulet Books for the audiobook! Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko is out August 18th, 2020.

Nothing is more important than loyalty.
But what if you’ve sworn to protect the one you were born to destroy?
Tarisai has always longed for the warmth of a family. She was raised in isolation by a mysterious, often absent mother known only as The Lady. The Lady sends her to the capital of the global empire of Aritsar to compete with other children to be chosen as one of the Crown Prince’s Council of 11. If she’s picked, she’ll be joined with the other Council members through the Ray, a bond deeper than blood. That closeness is irresistible to Tarisai, who has always wanted to belong somewhere. But The Lady has other ideas, including a magical wish that Tarisai is compelled to obey: Kill the Crown Prince once she gains his trust. Tarisai won’t stand by and become someone’s pawn—but is she strong enough to choose a different path for herself? With extraordinary world-building and breathtaking prose, Raybearer is the story of loyalty, fate, and the lengths we’re willing to go for the ones we love.

Goodreads | Book Depository | Amazon | Publisher

tell me some of your favourite 2020 YA releases so far!! 😍is this on your TBR? do you like epic fantasy?

 

2020 New YA Releases Because You Need More Books!! [Ft. August – November Books]

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It’s new YA book release update time!

Sometimes I think about why I spend hours writing these types of posts, and I come to the conclusion that it’s split between (a) I love writing lists of books and admiring the covers and pretending I could read them all, and (b) if I don’t do this I have no clue what’s coming out and I’ll live out life oblivious and confused 😌👌🏻 So I write new release list posts! You are welcome!

I’ll be listing books I’m excited for that are releasing from August, September, October, and November, 2020 😍and then I’ll likely be petting my laptop screen and angstily wishing I could read them NOW. Because I obviously have nothing else to read.

You Might Also Like

➢ 2020 New YA Releases January, March, April
➢ 2020 New YA Releases May, June, July
➢ Why It’s Perfectly Acceptable To Have An Enormous TBR Pile

Also hello I am debuting my new macaron border 😌😙 it is so beautiful

The Black Kids by Christina Hammonds Reed | Goodreads

I have not heard much about this one apart from it being very very good!! And also hard hitting. It’s set against the backdrop of the 1992 Rodney King Riots so I am super intrigued for this one 👀

Los Angeles, 1992
Ashley Bennett and her friends are living the charmed life. It’s the end of senior year and they’re spending more time at the beach than in the classroom. They can already feel the sunny days and endless possibilities of summer.
Everything changes one afternoon in April, when four LAPD officers are acquitted after beating a black man named Rodney King half to death. Suddenly, Ashley’s not just one of the girls. She’s one of the black kids.
As violent protests engulf LA and the city burns, Ashley tries to continue on as if life were normal. Even as her self-destructive sister gets dangerously involved in the riots. Even as the model black family façade her wealthy and prominent parents have built starts to crumble. Even as her best friends help spread a rumor that could completely derail the future of her classmate and fellow black kid, LaShawn Johnson.
With her world splintering around her, Ashley, along with the rest of LA, is left to question who is the us? And who is the them? 
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Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko | Goodreads

I am on the cusp of finishing an early copy of an audiobook and afjdklsad I LOVE THIS ONE. It has all the feels of an adult epic fantasy (such deep, gorgeous world building) and plenty of sharp characters and clever plot twists. 😙 This is what I want when I ask for a good fantasy!

Nothing is more important than loyalty.
But what if you’ve sworn to protect the one you were born to destroy?
Tarisai has always longed for the warmth of a family. She was raised in isolation by a mysterious, often absent mother known only as The Lady. The Lady sends her to the capital of the global empire of Aritsar to compete with other children to be chosen as one of the Crown Prince’s Council of 11. If she’s picked, she’ll be joined with the other Council members through the Ray, a bond deeper than blood. That closeness is irresistible to Tarisai, who has always wanted to belong somewhere. But The Lady has other ideas, including a magical wish that Tarisai is compelled to obey: Kill the Crown Prince once she gains his trust. Tarisai won’t stand by and become someone’s pawn—but is she strong enough to choose a different path for herself? With extraordinary world-building and breathtaking prose, Raybearer is the story of loyalty, fate, and the lengths we’re willing to go for the ones we love.  
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Prelude for Lost Souls by Helene Dunbar | Goodreads

I always love al of Helene’s books so I am just EXCITED for this 😍 Plus it has music which is something I crave in books and it’s a bit of fantasy woven with queerness. Waiting anxiously for my preorder tbh.

Seventeen-year-old Dec Hampton knows there are no coincidences in St. Hilaire, New York, the spiritualist community he’s longing to leave. So when the train of Annie Krylova, the piano prodigy he’s captivated by, breaks down outside of town, he’s forced to take her sudden entry into his life seriously… just like the unexpected reappearance of Tristan, the childhood friend he’d assumed – and hoped – was imaginary.
Despite everything Dec has learned about Annie on the internet, he’s unaware that she has her own figurative ghosts to deal with. She has a family she supports but rarely sees, and a recently deceased teacher whose final communication charged her with a seemingly impossible task: find the rest of The Unfinished Prelude, the mysterious piece of music that catapulted her to stardom.
Dec and his best friend Russ, a talented, but complicated medium, offer Annie their help. But when Annie’s quest for the remainder of The Prelude becomes an obsession and it’s clear that Tristan is involved, Dec finds himself increasingly at odds with his plan to leave St. Hilaire. Even worse is the growing tension with Russ who, in trying to help Dec and Annie, begins to embrace dark and potentially life-threatening forces, including an enigmatic and manipulative ghost. 
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They Wish They Were Us by Jessica Goodman | Goodreads

When something is pitched as “One of Us Is Lying with a dash of The Secret History” and “a slick, taut murder mystery” I am just HERE for it. My dark academia soul has needs.

In Gold Coast, Long Island, everything from the expensive downtown shops to the manicured beaches, to the pressed uniforms of Jill Newman and her friends, looks perfect. But as Jill found out three years ago, nothing is as it seems.
Freshman year Jill’s best friend, the brilliant, dazzling Shaila Arnold, was killed by her boyfriend. After that dark night on the beach, Graham confessed, the case was closed, and Jill tried to move on.
Now, it’s Jill’s senior year and she’s determined to make it her best yet. After all, she’s a senior and a Player–a member of Gold Coast Prep’s exclusive, not-so-secret secret society. Senior Players have the best parties, highest grades and the admiration of the entire school. This is going to be Jill’s year. She’s sure of it.
But when Jill starts getting texts proclaiming Graham’s innocence, her dreams of the perfect senior year start to crumble. If Graham didn’t kill Shaila, who did? Jill vows to find out, but digging deeper could mean putting her friendships, and her future, in jeopardy.  
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Star Daughter by Shveta Thakrar | Goodreads

I am just instantly caught by the pitch of “blends Neil Gaiman’s Stardust and a breathtaking landscape of Hindu mythology into a radiant contemporary fantasy” 😩✨💛 I have needed this all my life. Plus it’s #ownvoices!

The daughter of a star and a mortal, Sheetal is used to keeping secrets. Pretending to be “normal.” But when an accidental flare of her starfire puts her human father in the hospital, Sheetal needs a full star’s help to heal him. A star like her mother, who returned to the sky long ago.
Sheetal’s quest to save her father will take her to a celestial court of shining wonders and dark shadows, where she must take the stage as her family’s champion in a competition to decide the next ruling house of the heavens–and win, or risk never returning to Earth at all.
Brimming with celestial intrigue, this sparkling YA debut is perfect for fans of Roshani Chokshi and Laini Taylor.  
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The Memory of Souls (#3) by Jenn Lyons | Goodreads

I honestly am DYING for this book!! It’s one of my most anticipated of the year after I fell in love with book 1 (The Ruin of Kings) and developed a deep and loving obsession 🥰This is adult fantasy too, by the way! It’s going to be everything I need and I am going to softly scream my way through 600 pages.

What if you’re the one who has to die?
Now that the city of Atrine has been destroyed and Relos Var’s plan to free the dark god Vol Karoth has been revealed—the end of the world is closer than ever.
To buy time for humanity, Kihrin, Janel, and Thurvishar must convince the king of the Manol vané to perform an ancient ritual that will strip the vané of their immortality—a ritual that certain vané will do anything to prevent. Including assassinating the ones bringing the news.
Worse, Kihrin must come to terms with the horrifying possibility that his connection to Vol Karoth is steadily growing in strength. How can Kihrin hope to save anyone when he might turn out to be the greatest threat of them all? 
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Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger | Goodreads

I actually have read very very little Indigenous American books, so I really want to read this one! It sounds beautiful and magical and I love the alternate reality bend to it?! Plus — murder mystery. PLUS it has illustrations!!

Imagine an America very similar to our own. It’s got homework, best friends, and pistachio ice cream.
There are some differences. This America been shaped dramatically by the magic, monsters, knowledge, and legends of its peoples, those Indigenous and those not. Some of these forces are charmingly everyday, like the ability to make an orb of light appear or travel across the world through rings of fungi. But other forces are less charming and should never see the light of day.
Elatsoe lives in this slightly stranger America. She can raise the ghosts of dead animals, a skill passed down through generations of her Lipan Apache family. Her beloved cousin has just been murdered, in a town that wants no prying eyes. But she is going to do more than pry. The picture-perfect facade of Willowbee masks gruesome secrets, and she will rely on her wits, skills, and friends to tear off the mask and protect her family.  
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Vicious Spirits (#2) by Kat Cho | Goodreads

This is the sequel to Wicked Fox which I adored last year and am just so excited for more!! The first book was so angsty but also fun but also full of banter 🥰basically my perfect paranormal.  This is a companion novel though, so same world but different main characters.

As Vicious Spirits begins, Miyoung and Jihoon are picking up the pieces of their broken lives following the deaths of Miyoung’s mother, Yena, and Jihoon’s grandmother. With the support of their friend Somin, and their frenemy, Junu, they might just have a shot at normalcy. But Miyoung is getting sicker and sicker by the day and her friends don’t know how to save her. With few options remaining, Junu has an idea but it might require the ultimate sacrifice and, let’s be honest, Junu isn’t known for his “generosity.” Meanwhile, the events at the end of Wicked Fox have upended the forces that govern life and death and there are supernatural entities lurking in the background that will stop at nothing to right their world.  
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Darius the Great Deserves Better (#2) by Adib Khorram | Goodreads

Another sequel!! Darius The Great Is Not Okay was a total favourite last year too, with Darius and his family travelling to Iran to meet family properly, and Darius figuring out friendship, diaspora and his depression 🥺I really loved the rep too! And I think this one will explore more of his queer journey.

Darius Kellner is having a bit of a year. Since his trip to Iran this past spring, a lot has changed. He’s getting along with his dad, and his best friend Sohrab is only a Skype call away. Between his first boyfriend, Landon, his varsity soccer practices, and his internship at his favorite tea shop, Darius is feeling pretty okay. Like he finally knows what it means to be Darius Kellner.
Then, of course, everything changes. Darius’s grandmothers are in town for a long visit while his dad is gone on business, and Darius isn’t sure whether they even like him. The internship isn’t what Darius thought it would be, and now he doesn’t know about turning tea into his career. He was sure he liked Landon, but when he starts hanging out with Chip–soccer teammate and best friend of Trent Bolger, epic bully–well, he’s just not so sure about Landon anymore, either.
Darius thought he knew exactly who he was and what he wanted, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe he deserves better.
In this companion to the award-winning Darius the Great Is Not Okay, Darius suddenly has it all: a boyfriend, an internship, a spot on the soccer team. It’s everything he’s ever wanted–but what if he deserves better? 
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Where Dreams Descend by Janella Angeles | Goodreads

I’ve heard that this is a Phantom fo the Opera Retelling and that’s all I need to know to want it!! Plus it’s giving me distinct Caraval vibes 🥰 I also haven’t read enough Filipino authors so I am excited for this.

In a city covered in ice and ruin, a group of magicians face off in a daring game of magical feats to find the next headliner of the Conquering Circus, only to find themselves under the threat of an unseen danger striking behind the scenes.
As each act becomes more and more risky and the number of missing magicians piles up, three are forced to reckon with their secrets before the darkness comes for them next.
The Star: Kallia, a powerful showgirl out to prove she’s the best no matter the cost
The Master: Jack, the enigmatic keeper of the club, and more than one lie told
The Magician: Demarco, the brooding judge with a dark past he can no longer hide
Where Dreams Descend is the startling and romantic first book in Janella Angeles’ debut Kingdom of Cards fantasy duology where magic is both celebrated and feared, and no heart is left unscathed. 
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Honourable mentions…

Dear Justyce (#2) by Nic Stone | Goodreads

A long awaited sequel to Dear Martin!! It’s talking about discrimination and the American justice and prison system, also told in letters again.

Shortly after teenager Quan enters a not guilty plea for the shooting death of a police officer, he is placed in a holding cell to await trial. Through a series of flashbacks and letters to Justyce, the protagonist of Dear Martin, Quan’s story unravels.
From a troubled childhood and bad timing to a coerced confession and prejudiced police work, Nic Stone’s newest novel takes an unflinching look at the flawed practices and ideologies that discriminate against African American boys and minorities in the American justice system.
In the stunning and hard-hitting sequel to the New York Times bestseller Dear Martin, incarcerated teen Quan writes letters to Justyce about his experiences in the American prison system.  
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Grown by Tiffany D. Jackson | Goodreads

Basically if Tiffany D. Jackson writes it — I want it. Immediately. I rate all her books 5-stars and they throw me off a cliff every time?! She is such an excellent writer and her concepts are!! incredible!! I cannot stop fangirling!

Korey Fields is dead.
When Enchanted Jones wakes with blood on her hands and zero memory of the previous night, no one—the police and Korey’s fans included—has more questions than she does. All she really knows is that this isn’t how things are supposed to be. Korey was Enchanted’s ticket to stardom.
Before there was a dead body, Enchanted was an aspiring singer, struggling with her tight knit family’s recent move to the suburbs while trying to find her place as the lone Black girl in high school. But then legendary R&B artist Korey Fields spots her at an audition. And suddenly her dream of being a professional singer takes flight.
Enchanted is dazzled by Korey’s luxurious life but soon her dream turns into a nightmare. Behind Korey’s charm and star power hides a dark side, one that wants to control her every move, with rage and consequences. Except now he’s dead and the police are at the door. Who killed Korey Fields?
All signs point to Enchanted. 
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These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever | Goodreads

My weakness for Dark Academia knows no end alright 😩👌🏻this one promises to be super dark (it’s also adult) and it’s pitched as a queer and obsessive The Secret History — so basically yes and I need it.

When Paul and Julian meet as university freshmen in early 1970s Pittsburgh, they are immediately drawn to one another. A talented artist, Paul is sensitive and agonizingly insecure, incomprehensible to his working-class family, and desolate with grief over his father’s recent death.
Paul sees the wealthy, effortlessly charming Julian as his sole intellectual equal—an ally against the conventional world he finds so suffocating. He idolizes his friend for his magnetic confidence. But as charismatic as he can choose to be, Julian is also volatile and capriciously cruel. And admiration isn’t the same as trust.
As their friendship spirals into an all-consuming intimacy, Paul is desperate to protect their precarious bond, even as it becomes clear that pressures from the outside world are nothing compared with the brutality they are capable of inflicting on one another. Separation is out of the question. But as their orbit compresses and their grip on one another tightens, they are drawn to an act of irrevocable violence that will force the young men to confront a shattering truth at the core of their relationship.
Exquisitely plotted, unfolding with a propulsive ferocity, These Violent Delights is a novel of escalating dread and an excavation of the unsettling depths of human desire.  
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A Deadly Education by Namoi Novik | Goodreads

SEE!! DARK ACADEMIA. I honestly am deprived and need so so much more. This one is more of a magic school where you have to fight to survive, let alone graduate. And tbh I am here for that kind of stress.

Lesson One of the Scholomance
Learning has never been this deadly
A Deadly Education is set at Scholomance, a school for the magically gifted where failure means certain death (for real) — until one girl, El, begins to unlock its many secrets. There are no teachers, no holidays, and no friendships, save strategic ones. Survival is more important than any letter grade, for the school won’t allow its students to leave until they graduate… or die! The rules are deceptively simple: Don’t walk the halls alone. And beware of the monsters who lurk everywhere. El is uniquely prepared for the school’s dangers. She may be without allies, but she possesses a dark power strong enough to level mountains and wipe out millions. It would be easy enough for El to defeat the monsters that prowl the school. The problem? Her powerful dark magic might also kill all the other students.  
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Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas | Goodreads

I have this preordered and have been excited for ages!! Latinx trans #ownvoices rep with GHOSTS (I tell you I really love ghosts) and it just sounds both fun and heart twisting and good 🥺✨I cannot spell CEMETERY ever though.

Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can’t get rid of him.
When his traditional Latinx family has problems accepting his gender, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free.
However, the ghost he summons is actually Julian Diaz, the school’s resident bad boy, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He’s determined to find out what happened and tie up some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave.  
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Fable by Adrienne Young | Goodreads

I know I’m behind, but I’ve not read any of this author yet and I was luckily given an eARC of this so I am EXCITED. The cover is also super stunning 😍and I just love the title! It captivated me.

As the daughter of the most powerful trader in the Narrows, the sea is the only home seventeen-year-old Fable has ever known. It’s been four years since the night she watched her mother drown during an unforgiving storm. The next day her father abandoned her on a legendary island filled with thieves and little food. To survive she must keep to herself, learn to trust no one and rely on the unique skills her mother taught her. The only thing that keeps her going is the goal of getting off the island, finding her father and demanding her rightful place beside him and his crew. To do so Fable enlists the help of a young trader named West to get her off the island and across the Narrows to her father.
But her father’s rivalries and the dangers of his trading enterprise have only multiplied since she last saw him and Fable soon finds that West isn’t who he seems. Together, they will have to survive more than the treacherous storms that haunt the Narrows if they’re going to stay alive.
Welcome to a world made dangerous by the sea and by those who wish to profit from it. Where a young girl must find her place and her family while trying to survive in a world built for men. 
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None Shall Sleep by Ellie Marney | Goodreads

I’m particularly excited for this because it’s an Australian author who’s made it to the US!!!! And her previous thrillers were all phenomenal. (Particularly the genderbent Sherlock trilogy 😙). I also suddenly love thrillers?! This cover is not Great though. 😂

In 1982, two teenagers—serial killer survivor Emma Lewis and US Marshal candidate Travis Bell—are recruited by the FBI to interview convicted juvenile killers and provide insight and advice on cold cases. From the start, Emma and Travis develop a quick friendship, gaining information from juvenile murderers that even the FBI can’t crack. But when the team is called in to give advice on an active case—a serial killer who exclusively hunts teenagers—things begin to unravel. Working against the clock, they must turn to one of the country’s most notorious incarcerated murderers for help: teenage sociopath Simon Gutmunsson.
Despite Travis’s objections, Emma becomes the conduit between Simon and the FBI team. But while Simon seems to be giving them the information they need to save lives, he’s an expert manipulator playing a very long game…and he has his sights set on Emma. 
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Lazarus by Maryanne Melloan Woods | Goodreads

I just kind of need this book after the pitch of “Margo and Hank have a profoundly deep relationship; the only hitch is that Hank has been dead for two months.” I neeeed more ghost stories! Plus it’s a murder mystery?! They are a team of detectives!

Margo and Hank are two teens in tiny, god-forsaken Lazarus, Nebraska. They have a profoundly deep relationship; the only hitch is that Hank has been dead for two months. Somehow he has remained in limbo— no doubt due to the sheer force of their love, and unfinished work to be done.
When the pair get tangled up investigating the latest local murder— with Margo doing the everyday detective work and the late Hank spying on suspects unseen—they discover nothing and no one in Lazarus are as they seem. The investigation becomes more dangerous, and it’s up to Hank to protect Margo—as much as a ghost-bodyguard-boyfriend can. While clinging to each other, the teens uncover the sinister secrets of the people they’ve known all their lives, reopen the cold case of Margo’s mother’s death, and learn how to face their past—and how to move on.  
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Punching the Air by Ibi Zoboi and Yusef Salaam | Goodreads

I’ve read two books by Ibi Zoboi and loved them so really keen for her next work! Plus #BlackLivesMatter books are always incredibly needed, and this one looks like it’s going to take a good look racial profiling. Also told in verse!

Amal Shahid has always been an artist and a poet. But even in a diverse art school, he’s seen as disruptive and unmotivated by a biased system. Then one fateful night, an altercation in a gentrifying neighborhood escalates into tragedy. “Boys just being boys” turns out to be true only when those boys are white.
Suddenly, at just sixteen years old, Amal’s bright future is upended: he is convicted of a crime he didn’t commit and sent to prison. Despair and rage almost sink him until he turns to the refuge of his words, his art. This never should have been his story. But can he change it?
With spellbinding lyricism, award-winning author Ibi Zoboi and prison reform activist Yusef Salaam tell a moving and deeply profound story about how one boy is able to maintain his humanity and fight for the truth, in a system designed to strip him of both. 
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The Lost Book Of The White (#2) by Cassandra Clare | Goodreads

You know my undying love for Shadowhunters!! Although I confess Chain of Gold wasn’t so much for me this year but I LOVED the Red Scrolls of Magic so I cannot wait for the sequel. Softly dying that they changed the covers though so this won’t match mine. 💀

Life is good for Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood. They’re living together in a fabulous loft, their warlock son, Max, has started learning to walk, and the streets of New York are peaceful and quiet—as peaceful and quiet as they ever are, anyway.
Until the night that two old acquaintances break into Magnus’s apartment and steal the powerful Book of the White. Now Magnus and Alec will have to drop everything to get it back. They need to follow the thieves to Shanghai, they need to call some backup to accompany them, and they need a babysitter.
Also, someone has stabbed Magnus with a strange magical weapon and the wound is glowing, so they have that to worry about too.
Fortunately, their backup consists of Clary, Jace, Isabelle, and newly minted Shadowhunter Simon. In Shanghai, they learn that a much darker threat awaits them. Magnus’s magic is growing unstable, and if they can’t stop the demons flooding into the city, they might have to follow them all the way back to the source—to the very realm of the dead. Can they stop the threat to the world? Will they make it back home before their kid completely wears out Alec’s mom? 
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Honourable mentions…

We Were Restless things by Cole Nagamatsu | Goodreads

I’ve seen this pitched as for fans of Maggie Stiefvater and that, plus this cover, is all you need to sell me thank you.

Last summer, Link Miller drowned on dry land in the woods, miles away from the nearest body of water. His death was ruled a strange accident, and in the months since, his friends and family have struggled to make sense of it. But Link’s close friend Noemi Amato knows the truth: Link drowned in an impossible lake that only she can find. And what’s more, someone claiming to be Link has been contacting her, warning Noemi to stay out of the forest.

As these secrets become too heavy for Noemi to shoulder on her own, she turns to Jonas, her new housemate, and Amberlyn, Link’s younger sister. All three are trying to find their place—and together, they start to unravel the truth: about themselves, about the world, and about what happened to Link.

Unfolding over a year and told through multiple POVs and a dream journal, We Were Restless Things explores the ways society shapes our reality, how we can learn to love ourselves and others, and the incredible power of our own desires.

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Kingdom of the Wicked by Kerri Maniscalco | Goodreads

I am half here for the cover, but also!! I did like Stalking Jack the Ripper (guiltily, I haven’t read the rest of the series yet) and I think historical fantasy with murder mystery aspects are fantastic.

Emilia and her twin sister Vittoria are streghe – witches who live secretly among humans, avoiding notice and persecution. One night, Vittoria misses dinner service at the family’s renowned Sicilian restaurant. Emilia soon finds the body of her beloved twin…desecrated beyond belief. Devastated, Emilia sets out to find her sister’s killer and to seek vengeance at any cost-even if it means using dark magic that’s been long forbidden.
Then Emilia meets Wrath, one of the Wicked-princes of Hell she has been warned against in tales since she was a child. Wrath claims to be on Emilia’s side, tasked by his master with solving the series of women’s murders on the island. But when it comes to the Wicked, nothing is as it seems…
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This Is All Your Fault by Aminah Mae Safi | Goodreads

If it’s gay and about saving an indie bookstore, then obviously it is the kind of quality content I look for in my life. It’s also set over the course of ONE day, so those kind of books are pretty compelling and fast!

Set over the course of one day, this smart and voice-driven YA novel follows three young women determined to save their indie bookstore.
Rinn Olivera is finally going to tell her longtime crush AJ that she’s in love with him.
Daniella Korres writes poetry for her own account, but nobody knows it’s her.
Imogen Azar is just trying to make it through the day.
When Rinn, Daniella, and Imogen clock into work at Wild Nights Bookstore on the first day of summer, they’re expecting the hours to drift by the way they always do. Instead, they have to deal with the news that the bookstore is closing. Before the day is out, there’ll be shaved heads, a diva author, and a very large shipment of Air Jordans to contend with.
And it will take all three of them working together if they have any chance to save Wild Nights Bookstore.
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Among the Beasts and Briars by Ashley Poston | Goodreads

Fairy tales with monsters and dark woods?! I love this premise 😭I always have, so this one is an immediate must-read for me. I also love that this author writes in so many genres! A talent.

Cerys is safe in the kingdom of Aloriya.
Here there are no droughts, disease, or famine, and peace is everlasting. It has been this way for hundreds of years, since the first king made a bargain with the Lady who ruled the forest that borders the kingdom. But as Aloriya prospered, the woods grew dark, cursed, and forbidden. Cerys knows this all too well: when she was young, she barely escaped as the woods killed her friends and her mother. Now Cerys carries a small bit of the curse—the magic—in her blood, a reminder of the day she lost everything. The most danger she faces now, as a gardener’s daughter, is the annoying fox who stalks the royal gardens and won’t leave her alone.
As a new queen is crowned, however, things long hidden in the woods descend on the kingdom itself. Cerys is forced on the run, her only companions the small fox from the garden, a strange and powerful bear, and the magic in her veins. It’s up to her to find the legendary Lady of the Wilds and beg for a way to save her home. But the road is darker and more dangerous than she knows, and as secrets from the past are uncovered amid the teeth and roots of the forest, it’s going to take everything she has just to survive.
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Beyond the Ruby Veil by Mara Fitzgerald | Goodreads

This is pitched as “a queer YA perfect for fans of Wicked Saints” so call me INTRIGUED. I also won’t lie. I am here for this cover.

Emanuela Ragno always gets what she wants. With her daring mind and socialite schemes, she refuses to be the demure young lady everyone wants her to be. In her most ambitious move yet, she’s about to marry Alessandro Morandi, her childhood best friend and the heir to the wealthiest house in Occhia. Emanuela doesn’t care that she and her groom are both gay, because she doesn’t want a love match. She wants power, and through Ale, she’ll have it all.
But Emanuela has a secret that could shatter her plans. In the city of Occhia, the only source of water is the watercrea, a mysterious being who uses magic to make water from blood. When their first bruise-like omen appears on their skin, all Occhians must surrender themselves to the watercrea to be drained of life. Everyone throughout history has given themselves up for the greater good. Everyone except Emanuela. She’s kept the tiny omen on her hip out of sight for years.
When the watercrea exposes Emanuela during her wedding ceremony and takes her to be sacrificed, Emanuela fights back…and kills her. Now Occhia has no one to make their water and no idea how to get more. In a race against time, Emanuela and Ale must travel through the mysterious, blood-red veil that surrounds their city to uncover the secrets of the watercrea’s magic and find a way to save their people-no matter what it takes.
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Blazewrath Games by Amparo Ortiz | Goodreads

An #ownvoices Puerto Rican fantasy with DRAGONS!! That’s all we ever really needed okay 😭💛 I really miss dragons in books (they are not cliches, they are perfect 🤨🙌🏻) so hanging out for this.

Lana Torres has always preferred dragons to people. In a few weeks, sixteen countries will compete in the Blazewrath World Cup, a tournament where dragons and their riders fight for glory in a dangerous relay. Lana longs to represent her native Puerto Rico in their first ever World Cup appearance, and when Puerto Rico’s Runner—the only player without a dragon steed—is kicked off the team, she’s given the chance.
But when she discovers that a former Blazewrath superstar has teamed up with the Sire—a legendary dragon who’s cursed into human form—the safety of the Cup is jeopardized. The pair are burning down dragon sanctuaries around the world and refuse to stop unless the Cup gets cancelled. All Lana wanted was to represent her country. Now, to do that, she’ll have to navigate an international conspiracy that’s deadlier than her beloved sport.
Experience the World Cup with dragons in this debut fantasy, set in an alternate contemporary world, in which riders and their steeds compete in an international sports tournament.
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The Cuban Girl’s Guide To Tea and Tomorrow by Laura Taylor Namey | Goodreads

Basically food 🥺💛I really want more foodie YA and this is here for it. Plus I think it’ll have an enemies-to-lovers sort of romance and it’s #ownvoices for Cuban rep!

Teenage master of Cuban cuisine, Lila Reyes, is eager to inherit her family’s Miami bakery along with her sister, Pilar. But between spring and graduation, Lila’s abuela dies, her best friend abandons her, and her long-time boyfriend dumps her. Fearing Lila’s emotional health, her parents defy her wishes and entrust her summer to family and their Winchester, England inn. Even though she’s given a space to cook at the inn, she longs for Miami, the seat of her Cuban roots. Being a Miami Cuban baker is her glorified past and destined future, forged by years of training by her loving abuela.
Days into her stay, Orion Maxwell barges into Lila’s inn kitchen with a delivery from his family’s tea shop. A nuisance at first, opposite ingredients soon learn to blend. Orion befriends Lila, introducing her to his mates and devouring her food––comida Cubana.
Orion entertains her with his mental collection of superstitions and sweeps her onto his vintage motorbike. He wraps cold, underdressed Lila in his wool cardigan and becomes her personal tour guide. His mum’s early-onset (FTD) Dementia gives Orion a unique outlook––he never asks too much of the world, accepting what he can’t control. Lila soon discovers this British boy brings empathy to her loss because he’s living his own.
Before long, Lila can’t control the route of her own heart as she begins to fall for more than a new love. England has charmed her. And a special opportunity in London tempts her. As her return ticket looms, Lila feels impossibly caught between two flags. Hearts aren’t supposed to split like this––between a beautiful boy and a beautiful family. Between exploring an uncharted future in a rich new place, and honoring Abuela’s treasured legacy.
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I Hope You’re Listening by Tom Ryan | Goodreads

More thrillers 👀I am developing a love for them. Also I really adored this author’s last book (Keep This To Yourself) so I’m just expecting more of that quality and thrill!

In her small town, seventeen year-old Delia “Dee” Skinner is known as the girl who wasn’t taken. Ten years ago, she witnessed the abduction of her best friend, Sibby. And though she told the police everything she remembered, it wasn’t enough. Sibby was never seen again.At night, Dee deals with her guilt by becoming someone else: the Seeker, the voice behind the popular true crime podcast Radio Silent, which features missing persons cases and works with online sleuths to solve them. Nobody knows Dee’s the Seeker, and she plans to keep it that way.When another little girl goes missing, and the case is linked to Sibby’s disappearance, Dee has a chance to get answers, with the help of her virtual detectives and the intriguing new girl at school. But how much is she willing to reveal about herself in order to uncover the truth? Dee’s about to find out what’s really at stake in unraveling the mystery of the little girls who vanished.
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Honourable mentions…

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong | Goodreads

It’s pitched as “an imaginative Romeo and Juliet retelling set in 1920s Shanghai, with rival gangs and a monster in the depths” and omgggg do I need it. Plus I’ve seen people raving about it already…and I might have preordered. 😌#ownvoices Chinese rep!

The year is 1926, and Shanghai hums to the tune of debauchery.
A blood feud between two gangs runs the streets red, leaving the city helpless in the grip of chaos. At the heart of it all is eighteen-year-old Juliette Cai, a former flapper who has returned to assume her role as the proud heir of the Scarlet Gang—a network of criminals far above the law. Their only rivals in power are the White Flowers, who have fought the Scarlets for generations. And behind every move is their heir, Roma Montagov, Juliette’s first love…and first betrayal.
But when gangsters on both sides show signs of instability culminating in clawing their own throats out, the people start to whisper. Of a contagion, a madness. Of a monster in the shadows. As the deaths stack up, Juliette and Roma must set their guns—and grudges—aside and work together, for if they can’t stop this mayhem, then there will be no city left for either to rule.
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Rent a Boyfriend by Gloria Cho | Goodreads

Hires a fake!! Boyfriend!! I do think this one will be fun, plus it’s #ownvoices and I really liked the author’s previous book!

Chloe Wang is nervous to introduce her parents to her boyfriend, because the truth is, she hasn’t met him yet either. She hired him from Rent for Your ’Rents, a company specializing in providing fake boyfriends trained to impress even the most traditional Asian parents.
Drew Chan’s passion is art, but after his parents cut him off for dropping out of college to pursue his dreams, he became a Rent for Your ’Rents employee to keep a roof over his head. Luckily, learning protocols like “Type C parents prefer quiet, kind, zero-PDA gestures” comes naturally to him.
When Chloe rents Drew, the mission is simple: convince her parents fake Drew is worthy of their approval so they’ll stop pressuring her to accept a proposal from Hongbo, the wealthiest (and slimiest) young bachelor in their tight-knit Asian American community.
But when Chloe starts to fall for the real Drew—who, unlike his fake persona, is definitely not ’rent-worthy—her carefully curated life begins to unravel. Can she figure out what she wants before she loses everything?
To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before meets The Farewell in this incisive romantic comedy about a college student who hires a fake boyfriend to appease her traditional Taiwanese parents, to disastrous results, from the acclaimed author of American Panda. 
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How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories (#3.5) by Holly Black | Goodreads

OKAY BUT IT’S MORE CARDAN BOOKS AND I CAN’T STOP BEING SO SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye 😭💛and here we get MORE. Also it’s ILLUSTRATED.

An illustrated addition to the New York Times bestselling Folk of Air trilogy, that started with The Cruel Prince, from award-winning author Holly Black.
An irresistible return to the captivating world of Elfhame.
Once upon a time, there was a boy with a wicked tongue.
Before he was a cruel prince or a wicked king, he was a faerie child with a heart of stone . #1 New York Times bestselling author, Holly Black reveals a deeper look into the dramatic life of Elfhame’s enigmatic high king, Cardan. This tale includes delicious details of life before The Cruel Prince, an adventure beyond The Queen of Nothing, and familiar moments from The Folk of the Air trilogy, told wholly from Cardan’s perspective.
This new installment in the Folk of the Air series is a return to the heart-racing romance, danger, humor, and drama that enchanted readers everywhere. Each chapter is paired with lavish and luminous full-color art, making this the perfect collector’s item to be enjoyed by both new audiences and old. 
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Ruinsong by Julia Ember | Goodreads

This is a queer phantom of the opera retelling?! I cannot express how much I need this right now. I’ve only read one novella by this author, so I’d love to read more!

Her voice was her prison…
Now it’s her weapon.
In a world where magic is sung, a powerful mage named Cadence has been forced to torture her country’s disgraced nobility at her ruthless queen’s bidding.
But when she is reunited with her childhood friend, a noblewoman with ties to the underground rebellion, she must finally make a choice: Take a stand to free their country from oppression, or follow in the queen’s footsteps and become a monster herself. 
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The Cousins by Karen M. McManus | Goodreads

I’m absolutely obsessed by her last two books so this is just INSTA NEED. I suppose I should look at the blurb briefly but like 😌👌🏻I love that feeling when you have an author you just will read on their name alone.

Milly, Aubrey, and Jonah Story are cousins, but they barely know each another, and they’ve never even met their grandmother. Rich and reclusive, she disinherited their parents before they were born. So when they each receive a letter inviting them to work at her island resort for the summer, they’re surprised . . . and curious.
Their parents are all clear on one point–not going is not an option. This could be the opportunity to get back into Grandmother’s good graces. But when the cousins arrive on the island, it’s immediately clear that she has different plans for them. And the longer they stay, the more they realize how mysterious–and dark–their family’s past is.
The entire Story family has secrets. Whatever pulled them apart years ago isn’t over–and this summer, the cousins will learn everything. 
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Master Of One by Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennett | Goodreads

This has A HEIST!! I repeat A HEIST!! And the pitch is “Sinister sorcery. Gallows humor. A queer romance so glorious it could be right out of fae legend itself” so hello I have been sold so completely.

Rags is a thief—an excellent one. He’s stolen into noble’s coffers, picked soldier’s pockets, and even liberated a ring or two off the fingers of passersby. Until he’s caught by the Queensguard and forced to find an ancient fae relic for a sadistic royal sorcerer.
But Rags could never have guessed this “relic” would actually be a fae himself—a distractingly handsome, annoyingly perfect, ancient fae prince called Shining Talon. Good thing Rags can think on his toes, because things just get stranger from there…
With the heist and intrigue of Six of Crows and the dark fairy tale feel of The Cruel Prince, this young adult fantasy debut will have readers rooting for a pair of reluctant heroes as they take on a world-ending fae prophecy, a malicious royal plot, and, most dangerously of all, their feelings for each other.  
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A Curse of Roses by Diana Pinguicha | Goodreads

This is a Portuguese historical fantasy so consider me thoroughly intrigued. And it seems it’ll have a lot of flower content which is my aesthetic!

With just one touch, bread turns into roses. With just one bite, cheese turns into lilies.
There’s a famine plaguing the land, and Princess Yzabel is wasting food simply by trying to eat. Before she can even swallow, her magic—her curse—has turned her meal into a bouquet. She’s on the verge of starving, which only reminds her that the people of Portugal have been enduring the same pain.
If only it were possible to reverse her magic. Then she could turn flowers…into food.
Fatyan, a beautiful Enchanted Moura, is the only one who can help. But she is trapped by magical binds. She can teach Yzabel how to control her curse—if Yzabel sets her free with a kiss.
As the King of Portugal’s betrothed, Yzabel would be committing treason, but what good is a king if his country has starved to death?
With just one kiss, Fatyan is set free. And with just one kiss, Yzabel is yearning for more.
She’d sought out Fatyan to help her save the people. Now, loving her could mean Yzabel’s destruction.
Based on Portuguese legend, this #OwnVoices historical fantasy is an epic tale of mystery, magic, and making the impossible choice between love and duty… 
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tell me which ones you’re most excited for!

 

Disability Pride Month | 10 YA Books With Disabled Characters You Need To Read!!

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Since July is Disability Pride Month and it’s almost over…I need to leave you with some recommendations!

Did I mean to write this post much, much earlier in the month? Why yes. But look 😌😚 it’s here now and I do like to claim that quote on how a wizard is never late, but arrives precisely when they mean to (credits to Gandalf, who makes some good points).

Anyway! I’m really excited to talk about some of my favourite books with disabled characters!! Earlier this month I wrote a post on 5 Things I Want To See More Of In Disabled YA Books, and I poured a lot into that post, so thank you so much to everyone who read and commented! My advocacy posts aren’t perfect and I definitely aim to learn more — being disabled is such a vastly different thing to different people and it’s hard to succinctly talk about it and encompass all angles. Plus I am more knowledgable in neurodiversity and autism. But I am trying to learn more!!!

Before we go on though…a quick list…

Things To Remember (When It Comes to Disabled Books)

  • #ownvoices books SHOULD be supported and recommended first and foremost!! Of course abled authors can write good rep 🥰 but the fact that disabled authors are rarer in YA is an issue that needs fixing.
  • When I talk about “disability pride” it absolutely does not erase disability suffering and struggles.
  • We absolutely need books about disability suffering!! But I want to see #ownvoices authors write these.
  • Please don’t recommend me books where the disabled character dies while I’m talking about disabled pride. (Especially if that book is by an abled author. 😑)
  • I think it’s fair to point out that the book community doesn’t support disabled YA like they do other diverse books and would love if we all worked on this!!
  • Two people can have the same condition and one may consider themselves disabled, one might not.  We should respect both!
  • We need to be careful about language we use to talk about disabilities in books. Things like “she overcame her disability” and “he was amazing despite being disabled” and “this disabled character really inspired me for still doing cool stuff” ARE all really abled. It’s like you really can’t think of anything worse than being disabled and 🥴 let’s stop with that. Disabilities are not a flaw. Just say: “I loved the epic stuff this disabled character did!”

Other Posts You Might Like

➸ 10 Things I Want To See More of In YA Books About Mental Health
➸ How To Tell If A Book Has Good Autism Rep
➸ How To Keep Supporting Diverse Books (All The Time!)
➸ YA Books About Anxiety

…Sick Kids In Love by Hannah Moskowitz

This was one of my favourite reads of last year just for being SO funny, soft, relatable, aching and lonely and loving — and absolutely crammed full of incredible disability rep. The hard parts. The wonderful parts. (It’s also #Ownvoices and you can just TELL because it really unpacks a lot of everyday ableism too.) Isabel has rheumatoid arthritis and Sasha has Gaucher Disease. They’re also both Jewish! There’s a lot of pain in this book, and it’s not romanticised. 😭💛The whole thing hurts, but it also is full of love.

 

…A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Bernard

This is narrated by Steffi who has selective mutism and ends up partnered with the Deaf boy at school since they both know BSL (British Sign Language). Their quiet love story just filled my whole heart. As far as I know, it’s not #ownvoices for either, but there’s such care and respect in both characters. I really related to Steffi’s severe anxiety too 😭It’s also nice because it’s full of romantic “firsts” but not conventionally. Steffi and Rhys are flawed, but their disabilities aren’t their flaw.

 

…A List of Cages by Robin Roe

Okay this one will leave you BROKEN on the floor and as you cry softly into your hands, you will absolutely thank me for recommending this book to you. It’s about two boys who were once foster brothers and find each other again…and how their lives basically unravel. Adam has ADHD and Julian has dyslexia and PTSD. There’s a lot of trauma and darkness here, but also unlikely friendship and just two boys trying to fit into a world that rejects them.

 

…Brave Enough by Kati Gardner

I’m going to say this one wasn’t totally for me stylistically, buuuut I still want to recommend it because it’s #ownvoices for amputee rep and that’s SO rare in YA and this needs to be celebrated! The story follows Cason as she goes from upcoming amazing ballerina to an amputee. The love interest is a cancer survivor but is now dealing with a drug addiction. It also deeply unpacks what it is to go from living a full able-bodied life to not having that anymore. The pain and loss of it, and how to find yourself again.

 

…A Taxonomy of Love by Rachael Allen

This one is about Spencer who has Tourette’s! I can’t vouch for the rep and I don’t think it’s #ownvoices, but it did feel really respectful and realistic, showing the highs and lows of managing severe Tourette’s. It starts off when Spencer is pretty young and then grows up with him as he has an on-and-off-again pining romance with the girl next door. It’s been ages since I’ve read it and my brain is a SIEVE but I sit here and remember the part where Spencer tried a new medication and the side effects gave him such bad depression with suicide tendencies and he was just crying as his step-mother held him and held him. 😭That scene will forever stay with me. JAfdklsad read this one.

 

…The Art Of Not Feeling by Laura Tims

Samantha went through a horrific car accident and now uses crutches to walk and is in excruciating pain all the time. She meets Eliot who is literally her opposite — he can’t feel pain AT ALL. Which you don’t think of as a disability (wouldn’t it be lucky to not feel pain?!) but it is. Pain is a defence against us hurting ourselves to death?! And Eliot doesn’t have that. (I also lowkey headcanon him as autistic 🥰😚because I can.) But this book!! It’s also FUNNY. You know that moment when banter and quips just light up your whole world? Sam and Eliot had that connection. It’s so good and SO underrated.

 

…Meet Me In Outer Space by Melinda Grace

This is an #ownvoices story about auditory processing disorder and I’ve honestly never read this in any other book! I was falling out of my socks with excitement to read this. It’s also set in college, so sitting in that nice upper-YA pocket that doesn’t get enough attention either. But but anyway!! This one has a lot of learning to self advocate for yourself. Because “invisible disabilities” often get ignored or the person is expected to just deal anyway.

 

…When My Heart Joins The Thousand by A.J. Steiger

This is #ownvoices for autism rep and the love interest has a severe disability where his bones are so fragile they’ll break all the time. He walks with a cane too. It’s also Upper-YA because they’re both teens but figuring out how to be adults, how to support themselves, how to fit into a world that is too harsh and fast and not understanding. I kind of just 😭love this book and softly want to support these two kids as they do their best.

 

…Love from A to Z by S.K. Ali

This is such a favourite of mine! It’s full of such incredible diversity rep 😍 It’s #ownvoices for Muslim and POC characters, and Adam has just been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (I don’t believe that part is OV). He’s figuring out treatments, but also how to tell his family, since his mother died from this and he doesn’t want to put his dad and sister through that again. Adam is the most loyal and soft and kind boy you will ever see 😭 Zayneb also narrates half the book and I LOVED HER; her refusal to be quiet and take discrimination, and her love of her family and culture and life. These two. Love them.

 

…The Boy Who Steals Houses by meeeee

You know I always feel guilty adding my books to lists. What is this selfish self-promo!! I softly yell to myself. But then… look if I spent 10 years trying to get published, I should be able to talk about my book on my blog when it is #ownvoices for autism and severe anxiety rep and 😭 I’m proud it got published when so many times I thought it wouldn’t. So here it is! It features two autistic brothers (in different places on the spectrum) and it’s so deeply about unconditional love and found-family and how abuse can shape you. It is even more, deeply, about waffles. Truly a quality piece of book.

 

tell me some books you love with disability rep!! I have read so few this year so I really need more recs! 💛

How To Edit Book Covers Into Your #Bookstagram Photos

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There comes a time in every bookstagrammer’s life when you want to take a photo of a certain book buuuut…

You don’t actually own the book.

This is quite the problem and I’m perpetually annoyed I do not live inside a bookstore!!! But there are so many reasons why we might not own the book. You can’t afford the latest release. You’re doing a cover reveal! You only read an ebook or audiobook, not the physical. The cover you have is ripped 👀or the cover you have is a super ugly edition. You want to talk about exciting upcoming releases that aren’t even in book form yet. You just !!! need a book !!!! and you don’t have it!!!

Now there are two ways to fix this issue, for example:
(1) you become MAGIC and when you snap your fingers, books appear, and quite frankly I recommend this option with my whole soul also can you please do it for me.
(2) you edit the cover in like the clever little cheesepuff you are deep down inside.

Editing covers into your photos is actually super simple…and, yes, free.

Photoshop? We do not know her. We are going to use Pixlr. Although I do want to be upfront in that I am not perfect at this and some covers are easier to work with than others! I have started editing covers in a lot to my #bookstagram photos, because I keep reading eARCs and want to talk about the books and books prices just flew through the roof since covid-19 and I do not have fulltime work 😩 my book wishlist grows and I yet wither. SO!! Here we go!

Other Posts You Might Like

📷 5 Hacks For Taking Better Bookstagram Photos (on a low budget)
📷 How I Got 40,000 Followers On #Bookstagram
📷 How To Get Started On #Bookstagram
📷 12 Bookstagram  Secret Hacks That’ll Change Your Life

Also my instagram is SO CLOSE to 70,000 followers so come follow me. 🥺 I am pretty cute.

First here are some general tips to keep in mind!

  • It’s easiest to edit new covers on the top of old books.
  • Also try very very (very) hard to match the cover colours up. You want to edit in a red cover? Put a red book in your photo.
  • My aesthetic uses lots of flowers and I actually find having a bit of flower hanging over the cover is helpful for making it look realistic. (Will demonstrate later!)
  • Books standing up are easier (in my opinion) than flatlays.
  • I kind of sucked at this to start but got better!!

Also shout out to @thereaderandthechef, who is not only great but gave me a lot of tips to make my edits more realistic! Truly the best. 🥺💛 Hopefully these tips help you too! (Melissa’s edits are still better though. 😙)

Step One

Go to Pixlr.com/editor. Sometimes on chrome it doesn’t work!? (You have to go find the “old” version.) But I use it on Safari with no fuss.

Open up your image of choice! I’m going to edit in two upcoming releases that I’m excited for! King of Scars is staying the same 😚bless it for being so pretty. I’ve hung my crown off it because I don’t know how to edit around crowns.

✨TIP✨ I’ve made sure you can see the page edges of Beneath the Citadel and We Hunt The Flame. This helps everything look realistic when you layer the new cover on top.

And YES I do have a lot of books but new books are what people mostly want to see and the bulk of my collection is actually old,  from back when I had access to $1 library sales and publishers sent SO many books to bloggers. However I am still privileged to have the books I have, and I work hard for them!

Step  Two

Download high resolution cover art! I actually DO NOT recommend getting it straight off Goodreads. It comes pretty crushed. I google the title and then look through images and find one that’s high res. Also look on publishers websites! They’ll have a good quality cover file there too.

They look so gorgeous and are coming out soon! 😍🥺 tell them to hurry up so I might hold them.

Step Three

Click Layer > open image as a layer.

Next you want to click Image > free distort.

Also I often zoom in because I have tiny weak grandma eyes and I want to see the corners. Just fiddle with the sizing in the bottom left hand corner.

Now start BENDING this photo like it is the JELLO doing a YOGA PARTY.

So cute, so flexible 🥺💛

Match it up to the cover you’re editing over the top of! Sorry We Hunt the Flame!! But you know what they say about attractive younger siblings showing you up. It’s something we all go through.

✨TIP✨ I often erase the corners (this is why it’s helpful to have the same colour cover underneath!!) so that it looks a little more realistic. Real corners aren’t so sharp.

Step Four

Go to Adjustment > brightness & contrast.

Have a fiddle around with these. Usually you want to make the cover contrast LESS. A real cover will look duller in your photo depending on light etc. Right now We Free The Stars is CRISP perfection which is too….perfect. Out with this. For this one I lowered the contrast AND brightness and thought it looked pretty good. Just mess around with this and see.

You can also work with the other options but I am both lazy and too nappish to bother understanding them.

And you’re DONE. 👀👌🏻

Step Five

We’re doing this all over again for the next cover. With ONE difference. There are some flowers overlapping the corner of the cover!!

So using the eraser, just…very gently very slowly….erase around the flower petals. This takes a lot of doing and then undoing (I use control Z to undo) to make it as accurate as possible.

Also (AGAIN) this works best if you’ve got a matching cover colour underneath. You don’t have to be too precise.

Step Six

Admire yourself!!!

….um, I mean your work!!

If you need to make adjustments, make sure you’re in the right “layer” (look in the right hand bar to click on the layers). If you need to redo it 3989 times then go on ahead and do so. I may be known to take a photo 7 dozen times till I know it’ll edit perfectly.

Now some covers ARE hard to work with. I find covers in block colours are the best, especially if you’ve matched the book behind it. Spine art isn’t easy to find online so avoid spines. Also fiddle around with everything! You’ll discover ways to make it look more realistic the more you practise.

Before I post on instagram, I also add a filter. This definitely helps that last touch of cohesiveness. (I just use the free filters in Koloro or Lightroom.)

Before and After

I hope this has been helpful and if you have any questions, leave them in the comments!

 

Disability Pride Month | 5 Things I Want To See More Of In Disabled YA Books

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When was the last time you read a YA book with disability representation?

We talk about diversity so much in the YA book community and I cannot stress how good and crucial it is, how different it is from even 10 years ago. The strides we’re making? The ownvoices authors bringing telling their stories? The diversity advocates who won’t stop championing marginalised books and authors no matter how tired they are?! This is incredible.

But whenever I see the book community talking about diversity, we talk about POC, Black and queer books…but yet?

Me: 👀waiting for them to talk about disabled books and authors👀

Here’s the thing about most marginalisations: they’re seen as undesirable and shameful. Being queer is still illegal in so many countries. Black people are murdered for the colour of their skin. Slurs are spat at immigrants and biracial kids struggle to fit into multiple cultures. Nothing about these things are easy or should be talked about less. Talk about them MORE.

It’s just…we don’t seem to talk about disabilities in that as well? Not to mention how often disabled rep isn’t even intersectional. I sit here and cannot think of a YA book by a Black autistic writer published by the Big 5 in the last few years. 😐(Hopefully I’m just wrong though!)

When was the last time you read a book by a disabled author? What was the last book you read with a disabled main character? Are you struggling to…think of any?

I’m autistic. Not all autistics consider themselves disabled, but I am. I’ve read 7 books out of 105 with disability rep this year. 1 of those had an autistic character.

Now some of this blame is always going to lie on us, as readers! I mean, have I actively searched and bought as many disability books as I could have? No. But have I also been reading a lot of books published by the Big Publishers and been trying to keep up with new releases and found they do not care about representing disabled characters at all?! *deep breath after that long run-on sentence* Well, yes. Seems you have to search for underrated books if you want disability rep. 😳

Today I’d like to talk about some things I wish I saw more in books with disabilities!

July is actually Disability Pride Month and I’m feeling bad it’s taken me so long to get a post together! But…ya know…busyness and mental illness over here 🙂👌🏻 I also would like to do a rec post…so hopefully I’ll get that up someday soon too. I’m excited but nervous to be writing this post because I do not know everything and I’m learning everyday to be a better ally as well as advocate.

And if I mess up in this post or use the wrong language, and if you feel comfortable correcting me, please do. 💛

 

OTHER POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE 👀

➸ 10 Things I Want To See More Of In YA Books About Mental Health
➸ YA Anxiety Book Recommendations
➸ How To Keep Writing When You Have a Mental Illness
➸ What It’s Like To Write An #Ownvoices Novel

 

1. More #ownvoices Authors!

This should be such an obvious request — yet I look at my disability list of books I’ve read and am kind of mind-blown about how few are from #ownvoices authors. This needs??? to change??? desperately???

The more I learn about disabilities, the more I realise I don’t know, and the more cautious I am to call a book “good rep” when I haven’t lived that disability. I personally know how to watch out for problematic tropes and harmful stereotypes. But what about accuracy? And details? I want to sink into reading more #ownvoices stories so I KNOW I am reading their truths. (That is not to say disabled lit is meant to exist to educate ableds or those who haven’t lived it! But it’s so important to see accuracy on page.)

This also makes me think of how inaccessible publishing can be for disabled authors. Those who write very slowly, can’t go to conventions or do interviews, those who need translators or special writing equipment, those who can’t stay focused or find the energy to finish writing or need extra mentoring to translate their atypical thinking. 😕 I think there’s room for publishing (also agents and editors) to better accommodate their disabled authors.

2. Disabilities affecting the story.

One trope I see crop up a lot is: a fantasy adventuring featuring a disabled character…but the disability is barely mentioned and honestly doesn’t affect the story at all. NOW this isn’t inherently bad because having a disability isn’t a competition. Having ADHD that you’ve learned to work with is going to be different to someone in a wheelchair — it will affect the story differently. But often times I see abled authors doing this and it can feel (at least to me) they are slipping in some rep without having to do much work. This is not always the case, but it’s something for abled authors to think about. We can still enjoy these types of books, but maybe we shouldn’t hold them up as Golden Disabled Fantasy Examples.

I really really want to read books where the disabled character gets to have adventures too and is disabled the whole way through. Fantasy stories with wheelchair users. Paranormals with kids with cerebral palsy. Deaf romances. Vision impaired teens in epic fantasies. Magical realism that centres on mental illness. Weave it throughout the whole book and let it impact the character so sometimes they have to sit down instead of run, sometimes they have to leave a sensory overloading situation, sometimes they have a huge miscommunication and they struggle with it.

You know why? Because every time we have a book about a character LIVING with their disability and STILL having an adventure is a huge boost to a community who has been told for centuries that they’re undesirable and should be invisible and quiet if they have to exist at all.

I can’t say how often I hear someone say to me, “I can’t even tell you’re autistic!” but they’re also like: why do we have so many misunderstandings, why can’t you change your schedule for me, why do you repeat yourself a lot, why did you forget this and this, you’re obsessing over something again, why are you so blunt, why did you–

I wish people understood more what autism is and I bet most disabled people wished the same too. We need more visibility and we need people to understand. Or to accept as is, without understanding completely. I think books could help with this so so much.

3. Disabled characters who stay disabled.

Out with any cure tropes! But also out with the autistic kid ending the book hugging everyone. Out with the mentally ill character finding love and feeling good forever. Out with the Deaf teen learning to lip read better solely to make communication easier for everyone else. Out with disabled characters having a secret superpower to make up for their disability. (Can I say how harmful this last one is?! Autistics don’t need to be savants to be worthwhile. People with chronic illness don’t need to be psychics. Blind people don’t need to have super-hearing.)

We literally need books bursting with disability pride. With characters who struggle but also love who they are. With characters who learn to cope better, but STILL have their disability. With people who find love and safe spaces and make the world work for them.

The disability isn’t always the problem. It’s that the world doesn’t accommodate it.

4. Disabled Intersectionality!

Because hey guess what? You can be autistic and Black and queer! Or pansexual and chronically ill! Or have ADHD and POTS and be biracial! Again, I’d really love to see #ownvoices authors tackling this 🥰 but we need so much more championing of stories that aren’t just about straight/white/boys. It’s genuinely not “too much” to be intersectional with diversity. Did you know a huge percentage of autistics also identify as on the lgbtqia+ spectrum? Did you know a lot of neurodiverse Black kids go undiagnosed?

There are soooo many stories out there. I wish they were on our shelves.

5. Disabled character starring!

I do understand why many abled authors write side-disabled characters instead of making them star. I kind of agree with the decision too. It’s one thing to be inclusive, another to be in the head of a disabled character and act like you know how it feels — if you haven’t lived it. I’m NOT saying non-ownvoices authors shouldn’t ever write disabled POVs. There’s research and sensitivity readers out there to help. It is worth discussing if that takes away places from #ownvoices authors. (But not today lol.)

It’s definitely more common to see a disabled side character instead of a main character. Most often: It’s the carer’s POV. Maybe the love interest is disabled. Or the Main Character has the sibling with cancer. Again, these stories aren’t inherently problematic it’s just….[deep sigh] there’s so much to unpack here. Usually the main character has huge themes of how GOOD they are to go out of their way to accommodate the disabled character. There’s always a power imbalance. Without the abled main character, the disabled character has no agency or story of their own. They can’t DO something they wanted without help which can be taken away at any time if the abled character gets hurt or mad. Etc. Etc.

None of this is to say the carer of a disabled person should not feel pain or be upset. Look, it’s hard being disabled but it’s also hard having someone you love going through ruinously difficult times. It’s just hard. For example: supporting someone through a meltdown is super emotionally exhausting and sometimes physically painful. But the thing is…it’s worse for the disabled person. And the focus is so very often NOT on them, but rather on the carer’s suffering. Maybe because people think that’s more relatable.

But we need to do better in books. Disabled teens deserve better when reading YA. They don’t deserve to feel like burdens.

This is one I find difficult to talk about eloquently because I have had people label my book (The Boy Who Steals Houses) as slotting into this category — Sam takes care of his older autistic brother Avery and often stresses out about his own suffering.

Full disclosure: Sam is autistic too. He is undiagnosed but never once asks himself if he is autistic too. But he’s over there consumed and obsessed with Avery (obsession is an autistic trait), he struggles to express himself (autistic trait), he sensory seeks the whole book (in tins of buttons, messing with the textures of Moxie’s sewing, his countless rituals in how he steals houses, collecting and stimming with keys, the clothes he chooses, the sensory overload meltdown he has in the finale which mirrors Avery’s at the club). There is a neon sign pointing to Sam’s autism, but I didn’t use the word and I think many people won’t know. I wish I had said it on page! Or at least made Sam think about it. But I’m learning and growing (and making mistakes and pledging to do better) too. I wish I’d taken a more nuanced and introspective view on Sam vs Avery displaying autism in two different ways. But the fact is: the book is about two autistic brothers struggling to care for each other. It’s not about an abled boy resenting his autistic brother.

I think we need more books with disabled starring characters so readers stop seeing them as unrelatable or confusing or rare.

About 15% of the world experiences disability in their lifetime. That’s…not rare. And it shouldn’t be invisible — especially not in books.

We also should be able to talk about disability pride without wiping out disability struggles, but also without any underlying messages of “you’d be happier if you were abled”. PLEASE.

 

I hope I’ve left us with something to think about.

I don’t intend to write posts that make people feel harried or guilty. I want us to think and then work on doing better. ME TOO, OKAY. I will do better with what I read and promote and consider. I think publishing has some achinly deep gaps in how it cares and promotes disabled books. It hurts? But the more people triumph diversity, the more rep we can call for and the more rep we can get. 💛And I have lots of disability books I want to write too 😍 Someday!!

Make sure your diversity advocacy includes disabled books and authors 🥰

tell me some disabled books and authors you love! or some on your TBR! and do tell me your thoughts on all of this because I’d love to discuss 💛